Catherine,
I appreciate your position. Are there non-catholic proofs of the primacy of the Catholic church? It makes sense to want to know this as it is true that the victors write history. I have to apologize as I am unfamiliar with any, however, it is true that we know today of many heresies and unaccepted theologies from the first years after Christ ascended into heaven. The Bible itself addresses some of them, so to any objective reader, it’s obvious there were differing opinions right from the start. The Catholic church is a great source for a lot of these heresies and unaccepted theologies since it is in answer to most of them that official doctrine is defined even to this day. Some of what the church disavowed is found in protestant theologies in our time; for example the belief that Jesus wasn’t God, that His humanity and diety were separate, and that He didn’t actually die or didn’t rise bodily etc…
What I find compelling is the fact that sources for beliefs outside those of the church are scarce. Most as I stated above, come from the church itself. The church’s records from the earliest times is impressive. This shows that there must have been a fairly sound organization from the beginning. Afterall, someone had to be responsible for keeping these writings, copying them and seeing that they were passed around so that all could use them for preaching the faith in unity. It is plain that it was important to the NT writers and the early church that all should be of one mind concerning Jesus and His Gospel. That much of the writings of first century Christians has been preserved by the church shows effort was made early on to see that this unity would be handed on. This is another example of a strong organization. Obviously not to the effect of today’s church, but a structured process none the less.
Now you mention that Peter was rebuked by Paul. Many protestants do this in trying to show that Peter was not in fact the first among the Apostles and that the “pope” is not infallible. It is a common misunderstanding of what infalliblity is and what the office of pope is. When a pope speaks infallibly, he does not do so in a vacuum. It is done only after a great deal of prayer, thought, and discussion between the pope and other bishops over a great deal of time. The pope, while the visible head of the church, is not its ruler like a king, or an emperor or a dictactor. He does not make edicts on a whim that must be obeyed or believed by all. As I said, it is much more complicated and deeper than that. Also, not all of what a pope says is infallible, only that which is declared as binding to the faithful.
Lastly, I would mention that the church does not hide any of her history. It is there, warts and all, for all to see. Even some of the theology by her greatest thinkers and teachers has been rejected.
Some, like Tertullian, who wandered too far away from the core were expelled. The church is not afraid of free thinkers, but it looks at all theology in light of Scripture, Tradition and the teachings of the Magisterium to determine if theology contradicts any of those three before formally accepting it.