Hey~~ You Women Unequally Yoked---Please Respond~~

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Friends:

Would like some encouragement from you gals who might have husbands, who have no desire to live a “Christian” life. How do you deal with it? I KNOW Pray for them, so please don’t say this, what practical steps or things do you do for you or for your family? I’d really like to know. Does hubby attend church with you? What have you done to help him discover Christ and His Will for His life? Does he even go to church with you?

My hubby is a beer-drinking, swearing, sports-watching, “couch potato” (not the best example for kids type man), although he has tons of good qualities too, like playing non-stop with kids, etc., gentleness, reliability, faithful to me, etc., But, I feel that I’m the only parent who wants to instill morals and Christianity into our home, which is most disheartening. I turn off TV with immoral programming, I frown on swear words, etc., but what good does it do when hubby uses profanity, and doesn’t care a hoot what is watched on TV. One teen son even caught a “naughty” magazine under his car seat–ycch~~

I’m currently in RCIA, and hubby has always gone to church just cuz it’s the thing to do. I fear though, not to be a better Christian. I really worry my boys might be picking up on this and his bad habits.

Any advice?

Luv,

Sparkle~~
 
Sparkle,

You need to stick the Green Scapular in your bedroom. Honestly! (this is the second time today I have referred to using the Green Scapular - I think Our Lady is talkin to me today!)

It honestly works - just place it in your bedroom, then you say the prayer daily. The desire for God has got to come from the Holy Spirit and who better to help than Mary?

Our Blessed Mother gave us one means of converting a loved one when she appeared to Sister Justine Bisqueyburu in 1840 carrying the cloth of conversion—the Green Scapular. She said, ‘This holy badge of my Immaculate Heart is to be the means of conversion of souls…’ Over a six year period our Lady appeared many times to Sister Justine and answered her many questions concerning the scapular and its usage.
Our Lady said the Green Scapular needs no special blessing nor does one need to be invested or enrolled in it. Any priest may bless it. It may be worn or carried by the person you wish to benefit. It may even be placed unknown to the individual in his or her clothes, bed or room should they refuse to take it or wear it.

Everyday one should say the prayer, ‘IMMACULATE HEART OF MARY, PRAY FOR US NOW AND AT THE HOUR OF OUR DEATH.’ If the person for whom the scapular is intended will not say the prayer then the one who gives the scapular must say it in his or her place, everyday.

**http://members.aol.com/ccmail/greensm2.jpg **

**Concerning the power of the Green Scapular with regard to conversions, remember confidence in the Mother of God is the key. She said,"The greatest graces come from using the scapular but these graces come in direct proportion to the degree of confidence in me which the user has."

**And of course I will pray too.

I am praying hard for a conversion for my loved one as well!
 
I would suggest reading about St. Monica (St. Augustine’s mother). Her husband was a pagan, was unfaithful and had a temper (to the point of physical abuse). There’s alot there but the thing I gleaned from it was don’t criticize him. Its really hard when there’s so much to be done and it feels like I’m the only one doing it. You may not say the things that you posted to your husband (or maybe you do :hmmm:) but if your even thinking them if affects your attitude towards him. Our words are only a very small part of communication. My advice to you is to focus on **you **being the best christian/wife/mother you can be. Stop judging him and seeing the worst he is/does. Try and focus on the good things he does and if you can’t find any of that then remember he is a human being made in the image and likeness of God. For no other reason than that he deserves your respect.
 
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sparkle:
Friends:

Would like some encouragement from you gals who might have husbands, who have no desire to live a “Christian” life. How do you deal with it? I KNOW Pray for them, so please don’t say this, what practical steps or things do you do for you or for your family? I’d really like to know. Does hubby attend church with you? What have you done to help him discover Christ and His Will for His life? Does he even go to church with you?

My hubby is a beer-drinking, swearing, sports-watching, “couch potato” (not the best example for kids type man), although he has tons of good qualities too, like playing non-stop with kids, etc., gentleness, reliability, faithful to me, etc., But, I feel that I’m the only parent who wants to instill morals and Christianity into our home, which is most disheartening. I turn off TV with immoral programming, I frown on swear words, etc., but what good does it do when hubby uses profanity, and doesn’t care a hoot what is watched on TV. One teen son even caught a “naughty” magazine under his car seat–ycch~~

I’m currently in RCIA, and hubby has always gone to church just cuz it’s the thing to do. I fear though, not to be a better Christian. I really worry my boys might be picking up on this and his bad habits.

Any advice?

Luv,

Sparkle~~
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Hi there!

I’ve been praying for my husband’s conversion of heart for at least 8 years now. I will pray for yours as well. Do you feel comfortable giving his name so I can put him in my prayer journal?

My husband sounds a lot like yours minus the swearing (around the kids anyway). My sister-in-law gave me a book called “Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage” by Lee and Leslie Strobel. It has helped me tremendously. It hasn’t changed my husband but it has allowed the Lord to change me. In doing so much of the conflict between us has been relieved. I hadn’t realized what I had been doing to add to the tension between us. I know that I can’t change my husband. I know that he may never come to the Lord. I will continue praying for him and I pray daily that the Lord will direct my every word and action so that I can set the very best Christian example possible.

The holy Spirit convicts my husband’s heart in a big way, but my husband blames those feelings of conviction on me being judgemental. Here’s an example. One evening I was reading and he was watching TV. I looked up from my book to watch whatever it was that he had on, then he started channel surfing and stopped on that MTV Spring Break thing with the half naked, girating co-eds. I did nothing more than move my eyes back to my book and my husband went off about how judgemental I was being of him. Now, I know that’s not me, that’s the holy Spirit.

Another night he got into bed with the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Have you seen what that thing has turned into? Now the suits aren’t even on the models. They’re lying in the sand next to them. I didn’t say a single word, just went right on reading my book like I do every night of my life and my husband said “Give me a break” as though I had said something about it.

It gives me hope that his heart is being convicted but it makes me sad that he blames me for it.

I also agree with the person who said to ask St. Monica for prayer. Not only did her husband come to the Lord but her son, St. Augustine did too. She prayed for Augustine for 14 years before he came to the Lord, and look what a wonderful Christian he turned out to be!

Wanna be prayer partners? We can pray for each other!!

In Christ,
Nancy
 
I’m not a gal, but I WAS the non-faith husband. Thank God my wife was the most patient woman in the world. She never pushed but always remained faithful. Eventually, the Holy Spirit won over. Hang in there, pray and be the best Catholic you can be!

Scott
 
To the ladies above I must say that I somewhat understand what you are going through. I am experiencing such difficulties with my wife. I desire to grow in love with the Lord and her everyday, but she does not share this desire. We used to pray the Rosary together and she would even join me for Vespers or Compline (everyday). We used to go to at least one daily Mass per week (in addition to our Sunday obligation). We used to go to adoration together. As time has passed, however, she has rejected all of these practices one by one. (And it is no surprise to me that it started with the Rosary- you stay close to the Mother and you will stay close to the Son.) After all of this rejection I would still try to get her to pray with me (short prayers like the Angelus). She won’t do this anymore. Outside of Mass, she will only pray mealtime prayers together (and she will only say the very short, generic one everyone has said since kindergarten). She refuses to talk about the readings from Sunday Mass and, in general, refuses to have any meaningful conversations. (I talk to myself most of the time.) She will only talk about reality TV, People magazine, and whatever we might be having for dinner. And, you know, I try my best to be as enthusiastic as possible about these topics just to keep things happy. She does not express her love for me in any way. Instead, she usually expresses disdain for me as often as she can. She too considers me to be judgmental even though I do not even approach her with spiritual issues anymore. She thinks my devotion to Our Lord, Our Lady, and the Church is weird and disordered. She has done a fine job walling herself in. This is so hard. Do some people just have to carry crosses in their marriages? I am sure carrying one in mine. (Like all of you.) I think I will buy a green scapular soon. I trust Our Lady. I do pray about this now in my Rosary, at adoration, etc. I will also pray for all of you.
 
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Catholic4aReasn:
I’ve been praying for my husband’s conversion of heart for at least 8 years now. I will pray for yours as well.
Nancy
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Nancy,
Get yourself a Green Scapular also and start praying that prayer daily! I’ll pray for you too.
 
Thanks you all~~

Sure-- would love to be “prayer partners”. PM me O.K.?

And Scott–thanks for sharing that you were the unfaithful one and how your beloved wife stuck with you. It’s so hard to do when my hubby glears at every teen in a short skirt–and I fear is looking at porn. Nevertheless, he has been a faithful husband, adores his kids, is much a big kid himself–playing ball in the street till all hours of the nite–plays pool with sons, football, soccer, HE’s a big kid himself–but unfortunately not much responsibility or Christian example. As I mentioned a big “Homer”. LOL --my kids call him that --cuz he’s just like Homer on the Simpsons.

I’m thankful I suppose cuz I love and adore him and he makes my knees buckle when he kisses me still----(a long long time)~ he’s drop dead gorgeous~~and I just plain Luv the socks off of him. However, I so worry about the example he’s being, or NOT being.
 
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jrabs:
Nancy,

Get yourself a Green Scapular also and start praying that prayer daily! I’ll pray for you too.
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Can I get one at a Catholic bookstore? Do I have to let me husband know I’m doing it in order for it to be effective? The infornation you (I think it was you) gave earlier said that you can just put it in the room and pray the prayer yourself if the person refuses. I’d rather not even go there with him.

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂

PS Thanks for the prayers!!
 
Go Irish:
To the ladies above I must say that I somewhat understand what you are going through. I am experiencing such difficulties with my wife. I desire to grow in love with the Lord and her everyday, but she does not share this desire…
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Hi “Go Irish”

Thanks for your prayers. Will keep you in mine as well. I put the Green Scapular under hubby’s side of the mattress–on recommnedation of a Godly Catholic. Am still praying for him, but I know it’s so hard when your spouse doesn’t seem to desire that oneness or closeness or bond in the Lord–that Spiritual side. What do we spouses really do here? I don’t fully know! When I’m listening to EWTN hubby says “here I go again with all that stupid Catholic stuff” then kids go along with him-----this is most hard-----

All I can do=–you too as a Catholic spouse is go along with your faith–do what YOU can do-----and hopefully one day in this life they will see that we were right–that we had something----that we prayed the Rosary–loved the Lord–went to Mass–wanted a higher existence. If they don’t seem to now–well–who knows what the Lord as planned?

I say keep it up friend–as I will too~~~we are not alone

Luv,

Sparkle
 
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Catholic4aReasn:
Can I get one at a Catholic bookstore? Do I have to let me husband know I’m doing it in order for it to be effective? The infornation you (I think it was you) gave earlier said that you can just put it in the room and pray the prayer yourself if the person refuses. I’d rather not even go there with him.

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂

PS Thanks for the prayers!!
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Yep! He does not even need to know. You can put it under your bed, anywhere. Then you need to say the daily prayer.

You can get this at any Catholic bookstore.

Nancy - it works! Believe in the power of Our Lady.
 
Go Irish:
Do some people just have to carry crosses in their marriages? I am sure carrying one in mine. (Like all of you.) I think I will buy a green scapular soon. I trust Our Lady. I do pray about this now in my Rosary, at adoration, etc. I will also pray for all of you.
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Hey Irish! I’m glad you said you were going to buy the green scapular before I suggested it to you. Way to go!!!🙂 🙂 🙂

Sneek it under you wife’s mattress like Sparkle.😉

Our Lady will be happy.

I heard just yesterday another person in my family succumbed to the awesome powers of the green scapular. My 18yr old cousin, Catholic by name only, has not been to church in years and was not confirmed. My dad gave him a green scapular at Christmas, and my dad said the prayer daily.

Well, we just got a letter from him. He entered the Marines this summer and just graduated from training. He announced that while in training, he completed his confirmation and goes weekly to mass now!

Amen I say. So I will keep pressing on in prayer for the man I love and my other family members. Now I will add you all to my list as well ( Irish, Sparkle, and Catholic4aReasn)
 
If my little girl wasn’t napping at this very moment we would be out the door to get mommy’s green scapular. I am excited. All of you have filled me with so much hope. I was really having a tough time before I got here today (I cried throughout my midafternoon psalms / prayers).

“there is something greater than Jonah here…”
 
Go Irish:
If my little girl wasn’t napping at this very moment we would be out the door to get mommy’s green scapular. I am excited. All of you have filled me with so much hope. I was really having a tough time before I got here today (I cried throughout my midafternoon psalms / prayers).

“there is something greater than Jonah here…”
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Irish - I’m tearing up for you too! I will honestly add you to my prayers at Adoration tonight as I thank Our Lady for giving me the knowledge about the green scapular to pass along.

Never give up hope.
 
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jrabs:
Irish - I’m tearing up for you too! I will honestly add you to my prayers at Adoration tonight as I thank Our Lady for giving me the knowledge about the green scapular to pass along.

Never give up hope.
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YES, I’m with you dear Irish! I’ll be praying for YOU, too~~

Guess there’s really something to this “Green Scapular” thing. It’s been under my hubby’s side of the bed now for about a month. And I’m really praying for his “conversion” --whatever–What is the prayer we should be praying? Is there a specific one? Anybody know?

Let’s just keep prayin I guess for our spouses’ conversion~~~~~ AMEN and Praise the Lord~~~
 
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jrabs:
Amen I say. So I will keep pressing on in prayer for the man I love and my other family members. Now I will add you all to my list as well ( Irish, Sparkle, and Catholic4aReasn)
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Please tell me the names of your loved ones so I can put them in my prayer journal!

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂
 
I converted (was confirmed) to RCC only 2 years ago from a “heathen” lifestyle that my husband I wholly shared for 13 years. He has been very supportive of my conversion though wants nothing at all to do with religion of ANY kind. During my RCIA, someone gave me a green scapular and I put it under the mattress on his side of the bed. After a couple of weeks, I approached him about sanctifing our marriage in The Church and what all it would entail. With NO reservations, he agreed!!! He still won’t go to Mass with me - I don’t push, only invite occasionally. In the past year or so, he has actually asked me questions about The Faith.
Point Of This Story: get a green scapular, use it, and pray ALOT!!
:blessyou:
 
I would like to thank all of you who have responded so encouragingly and given advice about the green scapular. I might have to try this. I have been adding the intention of “my husband’s conversion” to my Rosaries for some time, perhaps a year. My husband was/is unchurched, but he does attend Mass with me and our two toddlers, as a “helper,” he has claimed. He knows I won’t leave the two children at home to attend Mass by myself, (although it is tempting sometimes to go and be able to concentrate on the WHOLE thing!), so he goes with me. However his religious life I think consists of mealtime prayer. I asked him would he be willing to pray a shortened Rosary at nighttime when our nights settle down. (We are remodeling and are getting ready to move.) He said he might.

He is so logical and loves history, I know if he ever studied the Catholic faith his eyes and heart would be opened.

Thank you!

Heather
 
What an encouraging thread. I am unequally yoked; when my husband and I were married, he was an atheist and I was a searcher/atheist/agnostic, and later became a Catholic.

My husband has absolutely no interest in things spiritual, metaphysical, life-after-deathy at all, which is really hard for me to understand. How can someone not even be interested in whether there is a God or not? (He calls himself agnostic, but for all intents and purposes it’s atheism.)

Anyhow, sparkle, catsrus, Nancy, and other unequallers, you have said all the things that I have heard and that I would say, also. Be the best Catholic you can be; live by example; pray. In my case, I don’t know if I’m any different in his eyes now than before I came into the Church or not, so I don’t know if my “example” is any different now than then, but it’s all I can do.

God bless you all and let’s keep praying!
 
Here’s another testimonial for the Green Scapular. When we married, my husband and I were both Protestants. I became a Catholic about 5 years ago, and he no longer practices his faith at all.

A friend suggested the Green Scapular. Mine is hanging on the drawer knob of my bedroom chest of drawers, so I can see it and remember to say, “Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death” whenever I see it. I really don’t think dh even knows what the Scapular is.

But, I’m seeing some changes. Little things like asking a question about the Faith now and then, maybe he’ll read something in the newspaper about the Pope and share the story with me. Last Sunday, I was listening to Catholic radio while I got dressed for Mass. Suddenly, he pulled up a chair and just sat down to listen.

I’m seeing some cracks in the armor, and continue to pray daily for our Mother’s help. I don’t think he can resist her sweet invitation forever. 😉
 
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