Hi feeling overwhelmed

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Mary_Gail_36

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My mom is a widow and lives alone. I live about 40 miles from her.

This past weekend she spent a few days with us, and showed me her new medicine. (She has a few different prescriptions…blood pressure etc.) I looked it up and it’s an alzheimer’s medication. 😦

I have a lot of things to do…help her get a definite diagnosis, then figure out how she will go on from there.

I’ve noticed a change in her for about 7 years…it seemed more like a magnification of her personality. More irritable, more critical, sometimes spiteful, confused.

Now other people have noticed…and I guess her doctor did as well.

My mind is spinning and spinning. I’m not sure I have the strength. 😦

My Grandfather had it as well. I remember him being at my cousins house. I had gone to visit. He asked my cousin “Oh who’s your friend? What a nice young lady.” That was before he needed to go to a nursing home.

At the nursing home, he started off quirky. Giving his visitors stacks of hoarded dinner napkins as if they were a valued treasure. Then he could not eat without help, then it became worse until he died.

So can I ask you all for prayers?

Thanks.
 
Sure, MaryGail, I’ll pray for you. If God is giving you this cross, then you can be sure He believes you can handle it with His grace. Just lean on Him like never before. I’m starting to look at life’s problems in a new way…1) this life is so temporary and eternity is forever, so I can handle anything with God’s help 2) my challenges on this Earth help me to grow in Christ and become more like Him and 3) I’ve asked Him to apply them to my time in Purgatory as well. And you can be sure that taking care of a parent with Alzheimer’s is one of the greatest sacrifices you could make. I’ll pray for your mother also, that God will never leave her side, that He will bring her comfort and joy no matter what, and that any sufferings she experiences will lead her to Heaven.
 
I’m so sorry! We’ve been through this with DH’s grandparents. The one thing you need to remember is that when she acts a certain way or says something hurtful…it’s not really her doing that! It’s hard to do but it’s the Alzheimer’s talking, not your mom.
Do you have family that can help you?
 
I just want to share that my mom and dad have been friends with another couple for 35 years or more. The husband has Alzheimers, to the point where he has been physically agressive with his wife at times. Yet, she has cared for him faithfully, as has their grown son. But one day, the husband snapped out of it long enough to tell his wife, “I’m so sorry.” Then, of course, his disease took over again. But that was a gift/grace from God to give the wife comfort and to keep her going. God gives us what we need always.
 
happymommy said:
I’m so sorry! We’ve been through this with DH’s grandparents. The one thing you need to remember is that when she acts a certain way or says something hurtful…it’s not really her doing that! It’s hard to do but it’s the Alzheimer’s talking, not your mom.
Do you have family that can help you?
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Not really.

Her siblings that lived close to her have both passed away. My Dad passed away. My sister lives in the next State.

I’m not sure she’s seen a neurologist yet, but her primary doctor was concerned about some confusion. Maybe it is something else.

This past weekend while she was visiting, she called my son “stupid” in Church.

How do you explain to a child that Grandma’s not well? SIGH
 
Most definitely, Mary Gail. I’m going through a similar thing with my mom, only I live with her.

Prayers for you and your mom.

God bless you and mom.:signofcross:
 
I will definitely say some prayers for you. That must be awfully difficult to have to explain it to your son as well. 😦 Give your troubles to God, ask Him to help you carry this cross.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
Not really.

Her siblings that lived close to her have both passed away. My Dad passed away. My sister lives in the next State.
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Believe it or not, God will give you the strength that you need. Both of my parents were diagnosed with incurable diseases last year. They both died last year. Before that, I would have never thought that I could handle taking care of my Mom in my home with very little help from hospice. Or that I could spend days and nights at the hospital with my Dad. God will hold you up.
I’m not sure she’s seen a neurologist yet, but her primary doctor was concerned about some confusion. Maybe it is something else.
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It very well could be something else. I had low B12 once and acted like I was totally losing my grasp on reality. A couple of B12 shots, and I was back to normal.
This past weekend while she was visiting, she called my son “stupid” in Church.
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How do you explain to a child that Grandma’s not well? SIGH
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Just like you did here. “Grandma’s not well. She loves you very much. If she was feeling well, she would never talk to you like that, you know that.” Kids understand more than we know.

Hugs and prayers for you and your family.
:console:
 
A couple more things for the dr. to check on: many times when the elderly have a urinary infection, it can mimic symptoms of dementia. Also, have the dr. make sure that none of her medications are interacting with each other to cause symptoms.
 
Veronica97 said:
A couple more things for the dr. to check on: many times when the elderly have a urinary infection, it can mimic symptoms of dementia. Also, have the dr. make sure that none of her medications are interacting with each other to cause symptoms.
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Good advice. 👍
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
Not really.

Her siblings that lived close to her have both passed away. My Dad passed away. My sister lives in the next State.

I’m not sure she’s seen a neurologist yet, but her primary doctor was concerned about some confusion. Maybe it is something else.

This past weekend while she was visiting, she called my son “stupid” in Church.

How do you explain to a child that Grandma’s not well? SIGH
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How old is your son? We live across the street from DH’s grandparents so our kids saw great-grandma often!! We explained to them what was going on. That her mind was not well. That grandma was still in there but that she was going to say and do things that were not going to make sense. She thought they had a groundhog living with them:) Kids understand! Just explain it to him. We’ve been very open with our kids about illness. My mother passed away a couple of years ago. We didn’t want the girls to fear the changes they saw in her because of the cancer. Same with Alzheimer’s. Keep an open conversation going about it. As she changes explain it.

First things first. Get her to the doctor and see what is going on. It could be her meds or infection that is causing the problems.
 
I’m so sorry, Mary Gail. I will pray for you and your family. My lovely MIL suffered from dementia for a number of years, so I know a bit about what you are facing. You are in my prayers.
 
happymommy said:
How old is your son? We live across the street from DH’s grandparents so our kids saw great-grandma often!! We explained to them what was going on. That her mind was not well. That grandma was still in there but that she was going to say and do things that were not going to make sense. She thought they had a groundhog living with them:) Kids understand! Just explain it to him. We’ve been very open with our kids about illness. My mother passed away a couple of years ago. We didn’t want the girls to fear the changes they saw in her because of the cancer. Same with Alzheimer’s. Keep an open conversation going about it. As she changes explain it.

First things first. Get her to the doctor and see what is going on. It could be her meds or infection that is causing the problems.
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He’s 10. He knows about death and dying. My aunt died of cancer last year. My uncle died this past October. He remembers them very well. Especially my aunt. I’m sort of worried telling him anything until I know for sure.

He’s a worried kid. My DH is a cancer survivor. The type of cancer my DH had is normally limited and not fatal…but we need to reassure him that his father is OK.
 
I will add you to my prayers, Mary Gail. It must be a shock, but at least it sort of explains the way things have been going over the last few years?

:console:
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
He’s 10. He knows about death and dying. My aunt died of cancer last year. My uncle died this past October. He remembers them very well. Especially my aunt. I’m sort of worried telling him anything until I know for sure.

He’s a worried kid. My DH is a cancer survivor. The type of cancer my DH had is normally limited and not fatal…but we need to reassure him that his father is OK.
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Sounds like our family! Our poor kids have lost so many people in their young lives! They have handled it so well but it has been difficult!

I wouldn’t say anything until you know what’s going on. And then maybe wait and see how she is doing. Slowly explain the changes in her. It doesn’t all have to be dumped on him at one time!:hug3:
 
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