Hi i need advice

[Jerrysgirl]

Things are not like this in the Hispanic cultures that I’m familiar with (Central American). Threatening gays is still acceptable, and calling a man “homosexual” is the ultimate insult. Anti-homosexual slurs are still used openly. My Hispanic friends have said things that would horrify their non-Hispanic counterparts (if they were said in English.)

As a consequence, homosexual Hispanic men are pressured to marry to hide their homosexuality. Add the increased acceptance of men having extramarital affairs in the aforementioned Hispanic cultures…

Jerrysgirl, you seemed to take my comment personally. Are you Hispanic? Do you live in a Spanish-speaking country? Are most of your friends Hispanic? If so, then you’ve surely noticed the trend that I’m describing. If not, then why take it so personally?

Ack - I am Hispanic, I am a first generation American. My parents were from Mexico. I agree that the characteristics you stated can describe some Hispanic males but they most certainly do not describe all Hispanic males. The same can be held true for the situations that Yessian descibed. They are horrific but I can also relate similar stories about non-Hispanic families and men.
My only problem with this is that we are painting Hispanics with a wide brush and I feel that it might not fairly represent those Hispanics who are truly tolerant and loving to all people. I don’t like to see stereotypes of anyone - that’s why I took it personally.

Sands - don’t go away. I honestly didn’t mean to start anything to take away from your pain. You are getting sound advice here. You won’t hear any more from me on the subject but I will be praying for you!

 

[Sands0509]

Ok will clarify my husband was born and raised in mexico. if his mother was to find this out it would literally kill her. I wasnt sterotyping anyone either. I hope his being born and raised in mexico helps make some sense. He finally broke down last night and told me it was more than oral sex. I cant even look at him right now. I feel angry, depressed and somehow feel this has to be my fault. No i dont have anyone around me to talk to so i tried to find someone online.

 

[yessisan]

Ok will clarify my husband was born and raised in mexico. if his mother was to find this out it would literally kill her. I wasnt sterotyping anyone either. I hope his being born and raised in mexico helps make some sense. He finally broke down last night and told me it was more than oral sex. I cant even look at him right now. I feel angry, depressed and somehow feel this has to be my fault. No i dont have anyone around me to talk to so i tried to find someone online.

Oh wow… now I can understand you even more… I’m sorry

Please do talk to a priest.

 

[Sina]

There are a few people who have posted on here before who have been in somewhat similar situations… there was someone whose daughter had joined a softball team (stereotype eh? !! ) and came out as a lesbian and left her 2 year old and her husband.

Hopefully others in your situation can help? I know you aren’t alone with this.

 

[mmc80]

First off let me say- I am very sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. You and your family will be in my prayers. In your last post you stated you have no one to talk to. Your wrong. You do have someone to talk to. He is always listening. He is God. Have you made an appointment with a priest yet? Do not let the devil fool you into believing there is no hope. There is always hope. Take some time to pray. It is probably not a good idea to be around your husband right now. You have every right to ask him to leave the house until you have gathered yourself from such a shocking confession from him. I just think this is what I would do in a situation like yours.

God Bless You, :console:

Jackie

 

[Sands0509]

one a quick note. I called a priest today. I have made an appointment with him for 10 am tomorrow. that was so hard to tell him why i want spiritual guidance. wish me luck!

 

[kage_ar]

one a quick note. I called a priest today. I have made an appointment with him for 10 am tomorrow. that was so hard to tell him why i want spiritual guidance. wish me luck!

Many prayers, and one more time, in case it got lost - the group I mentioned - Courage - it is for Catholics and the family members who are caught in the same battle you are in. They will be able to give you a level of support that some of us cannot.

 

[Sina]

one a quick note. I called a priest today. I have made an appointment with him for 10 am tomorrow. that was so hard to tell him why i want spiritual guidance. wish me luck!

Glad to hear you got an appointment! Will be praying for you. So glad you initiated a discussion with your priest

 

[yessisan]

Please let us know how the appt w/your priest went. Hoping everything goes well tomorrow! Prayers for you!

 

[RWMorris]

Sands,
I am praying for you.

Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

 

[Sands0509]

Went to the priest… and basically i am not happy at all all he would say is i need a councilling not a spiritual advisor. did i mention that he took a 10 min phone call and laughed and made jokes on the phone while i sat and cried. he never even offered me one piece of advice at all. he just kept saying over and over god is love. Guess i have to deal with it my way

 

[Sina]

Whaaaattt? Seriously? ( on the phone call ). I am so sorry that happened!! ARGH!!! Don’t give up though. Try a Catholic Counsellor? Get in touch with one of the groups - courage.

Sorry to hear of this.

 

[yessisan]

I’m so sorry the priest treated you that way. I can’t believe he would act like that. ((((HUGS))))

I would’ve never thought a priest would turn someone in such a desperate need away. Like Sina said, maybe there is a Catholic couselor you can speak to or try and contact Courage.