Hi! Marriage questions for married couples?

[TreesArePretty]

Hello there. I’m a high school senior and we’re currently discussing marriage in our Christian Living subject (I’m from a Catholic school) and we were given homework where we have to find married (as in not separated and what not) couples and interview them about marriage.

So here are the questions:

1. What made you marry your spouse?
2. What do you like about your spouse?
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?

 

[TSB4]

Hello

1. We had dated for so long. He was ambitious, kind hearted and an all around great catch. Someone who I could see spending the rest of my life with.
2. I love how he always does whatever he needs to provide for us. (Legal that is)
3. In a heartbeat. I love my family!
4. Be patient, kind, quick to listen and very slow to anger.
5. The joys are all the I love you’s, kisses hugs and watching the kids grow. Knowing I’m leaving behind great productive citizens to carry on our name. The pains? Knowing this sweet bliss won’t last forever. Also, being so OCD about keeping the house clean and never being able to keep it that way. (But that’s okay right?)

Good luck on your project! Hope I helped!

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Hello there. I’m a high school senior and we’re currently discussing marriage in our Christian Living subject (I’m from a Catholic school) and we were given homework where we have to find married (as in not separated and what not) couples and interview them about marriage.

So here are the questions:

1. What made you marry your spouse?
2. What do you like about your spouse?
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?

1. He’s the one person that I can be myself around. Good, bad, sick, no makeup. I fully trust him and other than my family, I don’t fully trust anyone.
2. I like that he is driven, kind, compassionate; there isn’t much that I don’t like about him. He is an all around good person, very gentlemanly.
   3-5. We don’t have any children.

 

[1ke]

I would suggest that you actually interview married couples you know since that was your assignment. Simply posting questions and eliciting short answers from strangers is not what I believe the spirit of the assignment is about.

 

[Xantippe]

1ke said:

“I would suggest that you actually interview married couples you know since that was your assignment. Simply posting questions and eliciting short answers from strangers is not what I believe the spirit of the assignment is about.”

The OP should do that, too, but I think that he or she will get more frank answers from strangers on the internet. (Is grandma going to tell you she really wishes she hadn’t married grandpa and she wishes she hadn’t had kids and how disappointed she is in Uncle Roger? Probably not.)

TreesArePretty asked:

1. What made you marry your spouse?

He’s really smart (the smartest person I know), he is devout, we wanted to have a home together and raise a family together. Oh, and we were crazy about each other.

1. What do you like about your spouse?

See #1. The things that I have discovered since we got married is that he always does the right thing when convinced that it is the right thing to do. Also, he does a very good job supporting our family materially, spending time with the kids, and developing their minds. He has also gotten very handy around the house and is super at doing basic repairs.

1. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?

Yes.

1. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?

It’s harder than you might think, but it doesn’t need to be as hard as some people make it.

1. What are the joys and pains of having a family?

I don’t know about everybody’s family, but here are some of my joys and pains.

Pains:

Realizing that your kids are flawed, selfish human beings, just like you and their dad.

Taking toddlers to church.

Taking toddlers to restaurants

Travelling with toddlers.

Colic.

The ER–again.

Paying the big bucks to a lactation consultant, and then not being able to breastfeed.

Realizing your child is having trouble making friends.

Getting a call from school, asking you to pick up your kid early, because they’ve been misbehaving.

Homework

School emails/costumes/send in XYZ tomorrow

Potty training an almost 4.5 year old, a year or two later than everybody else you know

Realizing your child has a disability and that you’re going to have to work 5X as hard with them to achieve half as much as other parents.

Realizing how terrible your child is at sports

Joys:

Having intellectual conversations with your children.

Sharing your hobbies and favorite books and favorite movies with your kids.

Taking a baby or toddler for a walk in a stroller (it’s much better than just walking!).

Baby clothes!

Having a kid at the same time as your friends.

Having a baby who just wants a dry diaper, a full tummy, and the chance to sleep on you.

Watching your baby learn to walk.

Seeing how excited your toddler is to see you first thing in the morning.

Having a child win a contest (or at least get a ribbon!)

Being able to give your child the opportunities you never had

Seeing them be better at certain things than you ever were

Realizing that your child is like both you and your spouse in good ways, and better than both of you in others

Summer camp!

Water park!

Birthday parties!

 

[UbiCaritas15]

1. What made you marry your spouse?
2. What do you like about your spouse?
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?
6. I knew on our second date that he would be my husband, because more than a date it was an interview for a potential wife. He is honorable, pragmatic, honest, kind, loving and wanted to be a father.
7. I like that he talks to me (like real conversations, not just man chat.) I like that he is a great father. I love that even if we don’t agree on something, we can come to an understanding of each other and make a good decision together.
8. We are raising a family and praying for more children.
9. Look for a spouse that honors you, loves family and have similar religious and social beliefs. Maybe not exactly the same, but don’t stray very far. Talk about all the big things first, before really getting involved.
10. Pains: as much as you think your views are the same you will run into differences, especially differences in faith become much greater with children involved. Joys: everything.

 

[on_the_hill]

Hello there. I’m a high school senior and we’re currently discussing marriage in our Christian Living subject (I’m from a Catholic school) and we were given homework where we have to find married (as in not separated and what not) couples and interview them about marriage.

So here are the questions:

1. What made you marry your spouse?
2. What do you like about your spouse?
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?

1. She was the right person at the right time. We share the same values, we work well together, we complement each other (she makes up for my weaknesses, and I for hers), we love each oher, we have similar families…
2. I like that she does a better job of taking care of me than I do. She can turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse. She compels me to get more out of life than I would without her.
3. Absolutely.
4. Be patient and never ever quit trying to do your best.
5. The joys are too many to list, and unless you’ve had children of your own you’ll never really know what the joys are. My joys are my own, unique to me. The pains? I do my best to ignore the pains. They are only bumps along the road to the joys.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

1. What made you marry your spouse?
   I wasn’t “made” to … I joyfully accepted his invatation to.
2. What do you like about your spouse?
   I love that he loves God, that he elevates people around him often, and he’s so helpful.
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
   Indubitably.
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
   Teach them to love love God above all.
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?
   Joys are abundant, and pains are there, but not consuming.

 

[His_helpmeet]

Hello there. I’m a high school senior and we’re currently discussing marriage in our Christian Living subject (I’m from a Catholic school) and we were given homework where we have to find married (as in not separated and what not) couples and interview them about marriage.

So here are the questions:

1. What made you marry your spouse?
2. What do you like about your spouse?
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?

1. We felt that it was God’s will that we get married. We felt from Day 1 that we are, effectively, the male and female versions of each other - we like the same things and we often think very similarly. This may sound hokey, but we truly believe that when God created us He intended that we should marry each other, if we decided to act in harmony with His will.
2. My husband is a very caring man. He’s high-functioning autistic, but in some ways this is helpful because he sees the world in very black-and-white ways. If there’s a problem between the two of us, he’ll tell me. If I ask him if something makes me look fat, he’ll give me an HONEST answer (which is what he knows I want). He accepts me for who I am without trying to change me - even if I act goofy, I know he’s not judging me.
3. Our family at the moment consists of the two of us and my stepdaughter (his daughter from his first marriage - his ex left him and the marriage was later declared invalid). My SD is a beautiful little girl and she and I get along very well. (She tells everybody that she has two moms, and she calls me “Mommy” all the time. Effectively, I consider her to be my daughter.) She is 9; I met my husband when she was 5 and we were married when she was 6, two and a half years ago. We would like to have more children if it is in harmony with God’s will. Given the choice, I would still choose to marry him.
4. I would tell my stepdaughter that she needs to find a godly husband who will treat her as Christ treats the Church. My husband is indeed the head of the household, and I submit to him as the Church submits to Christ, but he always considers my counsel and the welfare of myself and our daughter. Our daughter could not do much better than to find a man like her father.
5. Getting involved with my husband and daughter was a big adjustment, in many ways. I can’t just go out and do as I like - I need to consider what their needs are, too. Going out to do things can get more expensive because there are 3 of us. Because I’m a mom, I also need to make sure that my daughter’s gone to the bathroom before we leave the house, that her homework is done, that she has her boots and mitts and scarf in the winter, that she has clothes that fit properly, that there’s enough food in the pantry to make supper tonight and to pack her a lunch for school tomorrow, that her school agenda is signed, that I know about anything extra (such as hot lunch or the book fair) that’s going on at school, etc. I need to coordinate with my husband about things like paying bills, getting the dishes washed, and keeping the house clean. But there are also many rewards. The day after my husband and I got married, we met our daughter at church (she had stayed at my parents’ house overnight while my husband and I went to a hotel) and she gave me a big hug and said, “Mom”. She confides in me. She gives me hugs. She makes me so proud of her when she does well in school and in her after-school activities. I love watching her grow and develop and learn more and more all the time. She loves to read, as I do, so I love being able to share things with her, such as my favourite book series when I was a child. My husband is always trying to find nice things to do for us, and he puts money aside on each paycheck specifically to spend on special things. He’s not afraid to show physical affection, even apart from intimacy. (He hugs me, kisses me on the cheek, etc.) Often, I wonder what I DID with myself before they came along. Now, instead of coming home from work (my husband and I both work; he works 12-hour nights as a security guard and I work full-time as a nursing instructor, so our daughter is with us on his days off, which amounts to 7 days every two weeks) and being alone and watching TV, I actually have people I can interact with. We can do things together. I teach our daughter about our faith and my husband helps. We talk about intellectual things (he is very interested in history, geography, and politics) and we teach our daughter about those things. We recently bought some Christmas tree ornament kits to make, because we recently moved into a larger house and need a larger Christmas tree this year. Each of us picked out a kit that we wanted to make, and we’ll make them together to put on the tree.

All in all, I’d have to say our marriage is very happy, and I wouldn’t trade my husband and daughter for the world.

 

[DanielJT]

So here are the questions:

1. What made you marry your spouse?
2. What do you like about your spouse?
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?

1. Before I met my wife I had been praying quite a bit about figuring out my specific vocation, being a priest of getting married. I then road a wave of situations that brought us together. I truly believe God picked her out for me (and the other way around).
2. She has the uncanny ability to get under my skin and keep me alive (interpret that as you like). I remember our second date we were walking in the snow and she skipped ahead of me light as a bunny, so spirited and joyful, and I knew I was going to fall in love with her. four months later we were engaged! Ha!
3. Yes, though if you asked me this before I actually had children I would be on the fence about it. It you asked me a month after our first one I would have said, “No way!” Our first little girl was colicky and as spirited as her mother about it. It was like training for the Navy Seals with no sleep and diapers instead of push-ups. But now that I am a little more seasoned I would say absolutely. Being a parent forces you to be a better person in ways you hadn’t considered before (back when I thought I was “good enough” and knew it all).
4. Children are quite simply blessings. Take them as they come, raise them and love them the way that YOU love since they were given to you, and make sure you invite God into your house. He is, after all, The One Who gave it all to you and you need to give thanks for that. The rest sorts itself out.
5. Pains - Everything changes
   Joys - Nothing is ever the same, Nothing! Ever!

Do we get to hear how your project goes?

 

[Lorelei12]

I would suggest that you actually interview married couples you know since that was your assignment. Simply posting questions and eliciting short answers from strangers is not what I believe the spirit of the assignment is about.

Yes, this. An survey of internet strangers is not the same thing as an interview, if that is your assignment. Also, some of the questions are contingent upon couples having children, so you may want to rethink either your questions or your targeted population.

 

[Cat]

Hello there. I’m a high school senior and we’re currently discussing marriage in our Christian Living subject (I’m from a Catholic school) and we were given homework where we have to find married (as in not separated and what not) couples and interview them about marriage.

So here are the questions:

1. What made you marry your spouse?
2. What do you like about your spouse?
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?

1. We were a good team, a good fit. Our interests, life philosophies, goals, outlooks, etc. were all compatible. And we couldn’t imagine going through life without each other.
2. He’s incredibly intelligent, has an appreciation of the “deep” things of life, loyal, and a hard worker.
3. Yes, we loved raising our daughters.
4. Read Dr. James Dobson’s books and/or watch his videos (even though they were filmed in the 1970s and the leisure suits are sooo funny!). Then do everything that Dr. Dobson says.
5. We really enjoyed exposing our girls to new experiences and allowing them to decide whether or not they wanted to get involved with those experiences. E.g., we took our older daughter figure skating in 1988, right after the Calgary Olympics (Battle of the Brians, and the Debi Thomas/Katarina Witt “Carmen” duel on ice). She was 4 at the time, and loved the sport so much that we signed her up for lessons. Now she’s 30 and still skating and working on ice dancing tests.

We allowed the girls to try all kinds of activities and experiences, and many of these “field trips” were “one time only” events! But there were those experiences that they took to heart and continued, and still continue.

What we found most painful was being so tired all the time, and paying for everything. There was never enough time for getting everything done, and there was never enough money. We also hated the constant “politics” with schools, churches, and skating rinks.
So many parents use these venues as a place to gain “power” over others, and that’s fine if they are good leaders. But many aren’t, and we hated all the late night meetings, the long phone calls, the mediations, the letters to whoever, etc. It took a lot of energy out of us, and left us feeling cynical and distrustful to this day.

 

[cat3gs]

Hello there. I’m a high school senior and we’re currently discussing marriage in our Christian Living subject (I’m from a Catholic school) and we were given homework where we have to find married (as in not separated and what not) couples and interview them about marriage.

So here are the questions:

1. What made you marry your spouse?
2. What do you like about your spouse?
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?

1. We only knew each other a few weeks when I felt that I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with him(Neither of us Catholic)
   2.This is silly but he claims he isnt a cat person…but he really is
2. Absolutely!!!
3. Be honest, be fun, be there. Give them a firm foundations on the tenants of the faith.
   5.Pains- Grown children can break your heart. Sleepless nights when they are young. Watching your teens go through breakups. Joys…laughter, smiles, hugs, singing and dancing around the living room in pajamas, all of us piled in the bed watching Disney movies.

 

[FullOfThought]

1. What made you marry your spouse?
   We became best friends almost immediately after meeting and I thought he was so handsome, I remember looking across the room at him one day thinking “I’m going to marry him!”
   The moment I fell in love with him was when we were at his parents house and out of the window he saw an elderly neighbor trying to walk to his house, he ran out and walked her back to her house. When he came back he had her grocery list and had convinced her to let us go shopping for her! My heart was his from then on!
2. What do you like about your spouse?
   Everything! His passion for his work, his patience, his ability to listen to my silly stories, how cheesy he is with me!
3. If given a chance, would you still raise a family?
   Absolutely! We are in fact!
4. What can you suggest to your son/s and/or daughter/s in raising a family?
   Trust God. He will provide.
5. What are the joys and pains of having a family?
   Joys are everywhere… Sharing first moments together, giggles, snuggles, experiences!
   Pains sleepless nights, sick babies.

I wouldn’t change having my husband and our son (and one on the way) for the world!!