Hi There..

[OutinChgoburbs]

I can’t answer for your relatives since I do not what they actually did say or do and why, but certainly if any Catholic relative of mine got married outside the Church I would be grieved and saddened because she would be deliberate risking her immortal soul and that would cause me great pain.

Exactly right.

To my mind, I can’t understand why you would care, Liverbird. You wanted to be married at the registry office and did so. Why does it matter to you what your grandmother and cousin did or said?

For the record- I got married within the Rites of the Church in a red dress. Everything was red and white and black and gold, from my dress to the Order of Mass to the invitations to the favors. Good color choice!

 

[NicPais83]

I am sorry if they truly gave you a hard time. The fact of the matter is that, in the eyes of the Church, since you are Catholic and did not get married in the Church, you are therefore not married at all. Many of your concerns about being married in the Church can be easily taken care of, upon meeting with a priest. Since you are not married in the Church, you are considered to be living in grave sin, which requires Confession and convalidation of your marriage within the Church. A grave sin is something that is intrinsically wrong and basically damages your relationship with God. Until you do those things, you cannot receive Communion or the other Sacraments.

In terms of issues such as a red wedding dress, wearing white is only a cultural custom, not a Church requirement (consider places like India where white would not be acceptable).

 

[LIVERBIRD]

I know you aint picking at me… I dont take any offence. I’m just angry about how much Trouble they caused. At the end of the day it was Mine and Paul’s day and we’re really happy. My Grandmother can really be HARD work. It was the way she was bought up and she lives a Catholic Life but she aint so Catholic when she’s making Snide remarks towards my Mom Who has had nothin but Remarks against her, Ever since she joined the family. Which I find VERY wrong. My Mom has done ever so much for that family and even the time My grandfather was ill before he died. She was called out in the middle of the night to go around. My Nan would goto Church then come out Badmouthing everything. She’s like a StreetAngel and House-devil.

I Still believe somethings there but I do have issues with the religion as I dont agree with some of the Catholic rules.

Some of the stuff they dont allow doesnt seem right. I wont go into any detail why as I dont wanna get up anyones Nose about it. I came on here to find Answers Why and know abit more in depth about the Catholic Religion. Not to cause Uproar.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I for one hope you resolve your issues and come back into full communion. You seem to be a strong-minded person who wants to do the right thing.

Is this woman your gran, or your stepgran? You said “since she joined the family” so I wonder. You also called the other harasser “her nephew” which, if she was not your stepgran, would make him a cousin to your parents and you.

If you come back to the Church down the road somewhere (never say never- I’ve learned that in life), please know that your concerns about getting married in the Church were not as big as you thought:

My Reasons for not having a catholic wedding.

1)My cousin is Gay, and I wanted him to be an Usher and I was scared something wouldve been Said about him and I was Protecting him He probably would have been allowed. Ushering is not a “godparent” moment. Even the two witnesses do not have to be practicing Catholics.

2)My husband has Never been Baptised and I wouldnt want him to Convert He still wouldn’t have to do so if you chose to have the marriage convalidated. You would only need a dispensation, and they are usually routine. You would not have had to have a Mass, either, just the Rite of Marriage in the context of the Liturgy of the Word.

3)I hadnt been to Church in years. So I wouldve looked like a hypocrit for going into Gods house.The cure to that would’ve been to start going again, and perhaps take a class on what the Church really teaches. In any event, God would’ve been happy to see you.

So- All that worry over nothing! All you had to do was discuss the matter with a priest. He could have told you the same thing.