Hidden Anger toward God/Angst

[george92]

hi all.
I have been having this anger/angst toward God to what he is putting me through right now. I really have no reason to complain about my life so far but my life just flat out sucks right now with tons of school( i’m 20) and a variety of other reasons from my recent posts.
But everyday i wake up angry or full of angst that i have something to prove to someone. Its like i can’t really live in peace. I’m a real intense guy and want to do great things in my life but God hasn’t given me a window of opportunity yet. this is what i think causes the anger toward Him.

any thoughts advice? thanks

 

[Della]

Sounds more like impatience to me–which is why God is letting your life be so “difficult” right now. We learn patience through trials. Patience is the child of humility. Remember that Jesus lived for 30 years at home before he began his ministry. St. Paul, after his calling, went away for 3 years just to get himself together. Moses waited for God’s call for most of his adult life, after having to flee for his life from Egypt. At 20 you have no reason to be impatient or think that God doesn’t have good things in mind for you. Put your day into his hands every morning and open your eyes to all God has given you. Do your school work and be faithful. God will do the rest in his own good time.

 

[Nom_the_Wise]

hi all.
I have been having this anger/angst toward God to what he is putting me through right now. I really have no reason to complain about my life so far but my life just flat out sucks right now with tons of school( i’m 20) and a variety of other reasons from my recent posts.
But everyday i wake up angry or full of angst that i have something to prove to someone. Its like i can’t really live in peace. I’m a real intense guy and want to do great things in my life but God hasn’t given me a window of opportunity yet. this is what i think causes the anger toward Him.

any thoughts advice? thanks

Anger, in general, comes from unmet expectations. Sometimes those expectations are realistic, sometimes they’re not. You are young, in college, and having angst is what being a young person in college *should *be about (and all I mean by that is that college, for those students who are paying attention, is a time of growth: academically, spiritually, emotionally, “What should I do with my life?” all of that).

I’m offering my opinion. I may not be right. You are allowed to be angry at God. God can take it. God may be calling you to something, and the anger may be a symptom of a frustrated discernment process. Does that make sense? You say “I’m a real intense guy and want to do great things in my life but God hasn’t given me a window of opportunity yet.” This brings me back to what I said about expectations. What is your definition of “great things”? What will be “great” enough for you to be happy with God? Is any of this pride/vanity? Obviously prayer is required–prayerful discernment–and patience like Della said. Discernment of vocation isn’t only about discerning a religious vocation, but *any *vocation in life. What is your major? If you don’t have one, use prayerful discernment to help you embrace one.

I think what you’re feeling is normal considering your position in life. You might be someone who wants things now. You need to become someone who enjoys the process. Be a college student now. Stay awake. Watch for signs. Let God lead you.

 

[george92]

Anger, in general, comes from unmet expectations. Sometimes those expectations are realistic, sometimes they’re not. You are young, in college, and having angst is what being a young person in college *should *be about (and all I mean by that is that college, for those students who are paying attention, is a time of growth: academically, spiritually, emotionally, “What should I do with my life?” all of that).

I’m offering my opinion. I may not be right. You are allowed to be angry at God. God can take it. God may be calling you to something, and the anger may be a symptom of a frustrated discernment process. Does that make sense? You say “I’m a real intense guy and want to do great things in my life but God hasn’t given me a window of opportunity yet.” This brings me back to what I said about expectations. What is your definition of “great things”? What will be “great” enough for you to be happy with God? Is any of this pride/vanity? Obviously prayer is required–prayerful discernment–and patience like Della said. Discernment of vocation isn’t only about discerning a religious vocation, but *any *vocation in life. What is your major? If you don’t have one, use prayerful discernment to help you embrace one.

I think what you’re feeling is normal considering your position in life. You might be someone who wants things now. You need to become someone who enjoys the process. Be a college student now. Stay awake. Watch for signs. Let God lead you.

but its like all my life i have been underestimated, disrespected, had my dreams shtted on by people i know while i see those people get success by just “who they know” and no matter how much or hard i prayed, i just ended up with the sht of the stick.

 

[Nom_the_Wise]

but its like all my life i have been underestimated, disrespected, had my dreams shtted on by people i know while i see those people get success by just “who they know” and no matter how much or hard i prayed, i just ended up with the sht of the stick.

I wrote this on another thread. I’m repeating it here if only to give an example of how life is long, and that particular end of the stick has touched the hands of many, even those whom pray:

*I’m 45 years old. I want to present to you a summary of my failures:

• In my late teens and early twenties I played a lot of guitar and wrote songs. I had a few bands, we played some gigs, nothing ever seemed to happen for us. The bands all broke up, and eventually I developed carpul tunnel so I cannot play half as good as I used to. This has been a continual heart break.
• I have always been a religious person, and I felt called to the priesthood. I applied to the seminary in Chicago and was rejected. I fell on drinking for a while.
• Later, after stopping drinking, I got a job doing Confirmation retreats where I worked for a priest at the seminary. I applied again (with a letter of recommendation from the priest) and was accepted. During my 4th year I began having depression and was diagnosed with ADD and I didn’t go on to the major seminary.
• Instead I went to Art School for a Masters of Fine Arts. I’d always been a writer so I studied poetry and fiction writing and got the degree, and met the woman that would be my wife. I’ve submitted my poetry manuscripts to many many publishers and have been constantly rejected, even though I’ve managed to get some poems published in small journals. Poetry publications rarely pay. Mostly we’re paid in copies.
• I taught as an Adjunct English Instructor at a couple of local community colleges for five years. I was making less money teaching a full time college schedule than I could have made working full time at a Wal Mart. I eventually stopped teaching college only because the son of one of the college adminstrators (who was taking my class) wanted me to pass her kid after he had missed more than half of the classes. I got the boot for that. For doing the right thing and failing him, even after giving him an opportunity to make up the work (which he did not).
• After 10 years of marriage (with a 6 year old son) I am now getting a divorce (not my idea). I’ve also been unemployed for three years and several people have suggested that I’m not getting hired because of my education. They don’t want to pay a person with a Masters degree when they can get a kid out of high school who’d be happy to work for minimum wage.

Being a person of prayer doesn’t make failure go away. Being a man of God doesn’t make people sh*t on you any less. In the Beatitudes Jesus gives us a list of guarantees and we have hope in that. I watched a student of mine get away with murder because his parent had authority over me. When you say "i see those people get success by just “who they know”, I would ask how do you define “success”? The world’s definition of “success” is different than God’s definition. Whose definition is more important to you?

 

[cmscms]

but its like all my life i have been underestimated, disrespected, had my dreams shtted on by people i know while i see those people get success by just “who they know” and no matter how much or hard i prayed, i just ended up with the sht of the stick.

I write the following with the true intent on helping you. It is a lesson my dad tried to teach me when I was your age and I never learnt it until my 40s.

The reason your ‘friends’ do not support your dreams very often is because of they are jealous. They see you are willing to do the work they aren’t. They know you will succeed so they try to put you down.

My recommendation, discern better friends or at least be very picky about who you share your dreams with. As for getting by because of ‘who they know’, praise the Lord that is not what you have to do. Think about it, no amount of money in the world is worth having to have to ‘people please’ someone 24/7. The second the ‘person they know’ is no longer there, they have nothing to fall back on because they have no skills.

As for doing great things for God, perhaps you are under a misconception. Having your name in neon lights for the whole world to see your accomplishments and a big bank account to go along with it is NOT doing something for God. The best thing you can do for God is His will.

Next time you are walking down the street and you see someone, smile and say ‘hello’. Believe it or not, at one point in my life I was so low. I was walking down the street and a strange said ‘good morning’ to me and he renewed my faith that God existed. Now that person brought great glory to God

CM

PS, I applaud your honesty, it is not easy to admit we are angry at God