Hindu boy marrying a Catholic girl

[VanSensei]

Would the…non-religious aspects of the Hindu faith (like Diwali lights or something or a statue of say, Shiva) be allowed?

I, personally, liken it to mixed Jewish-Christian families who religiously celebrate Hanukkah but at the same time, have a Christmas tree and observe the gift-giving aspect of it.

 

[kag1982]

Would the…non-religious aspects of the Hindu faith (like Diwali lights or something or a statue of say, Shiva) be allowed?

I, personally, liken it to mixed Jewish-Christian families who religiously celebrate Hanukkah but at the same time, have a Christmas tree and observe the gift-giving aspect of it.

Here is my take on this one… It is fine for the kids to go to both religious services as long as they aren’t sincerely praying to both God and the Hindu deities. I’ve been to Diwali celebrations before in college, but that doesn’t mean that I worship the religious aspects of what is being meant. Or lighting Hanukkah candles or celebrating a Seder meal doesn’t mean that you suddenly don’t believe in Jesus. A bridge too far would be to take Communion at say a Protestant church or start praying to Allah five times a day.

 

[Rete]

The people who are suggesting the OP invent some kind of hybrid religion are seriously sabotaging this person. I hope he can see through that and focus on the truth. Both religions claim truth but cannot both be true. To mix religions like that is disrespectful to everybody involved. I am pretty sure it’s a sin and borders on heresy for Catholics to do it in any case.

The three choices, really, remain:

1. The children are raised as Catholics.
2. The children are raised as Hindus.
3. The children are raised in an incoherent web of platitudes and feel-good Joseph Campbell maxims that completely undermines their spiritual life.

Practicing and informed Catholics will obviously recommend (1). Practicing and informed Hindus will obviously recommend (2). Seriously ignore (3). That’s just new age nonsense.

Kids can and should learn about world cultures and religions in a classroom, but indoctrinating them in a religion represents a completely different act. Imagine if we taught mathematics to our children in such a way that half of of the propositions, laws, and heuristics were false. Then on their tests, we marked wrong answers correct with a bright star sticker and a comment to the effect that all the possible answers were merely unique paths to the true answer. That probably wouldn’t make any sense, would it? So why do it with the most important matter?

 

[kag1982]

There is nothing to suggest that the children cannot partake in different rites and understand the different beliefs. That doesn’t mean that the children grow up praying to both the Holy Trinity and the various Hindu deities and believing in both Heaven and reincarnation. The children could respectfully attend some Indian ceremonies like Divali ceremonies. They can learn to be respectful of their father’s religious heritage and understand the basics. It is a bit harder than with the mixed Jewish-Catholic or Catholic-Protestant families that I know but I am sure there is resources that will help.

Most of the mixed Jewish families I know will like a menorah and celebrate the Seder dinner even if the child is being raised Catholic.

 

[whos_that_kid]

For this relationship to work you must convert to Christianity and become just as oppressive as all other Christians. First of all you must be ready to disagree and shun anyone with ideas that do not match up with the ideas of Christianity. Next, you must raise your kids to be mindless zombies who follow Christianity without any question. That is the only way.

/sarcasm…

All these stupid rules. If you love her, marry her. If she is not willing to bring your cultural background into your home, does she really love you? When raising your kids, give them information on both of your religious beliefs and then let them choose for themselves.

 

[mafh]

You do not seem to have the same understanding of marriage that a Catholic would have, if your allegiance to your parents is more important than your allegiance to your wife. It is a huge “red flag” (a danger warning signal) about your relationship that you would defer to the desires of your parents, over the desires of your wife.

I think there may be a cultural misunderstanding here. I am by no means an expert on this, and I may have it completely wrong. But, based on my very limited experience with Indian families in the US, one’s parents continue to have significant influence in the couple’s life even after marriage, especially the groom’s parents. It’s not like the western vision where parents are supposed to distance themselves from the couple and let them make independent decisions. I think in Indian families, an Indian man is still expected to defer to his parents after marriage, and his wife very much becomes a member of the groom’s family.

I agree that if the bride and groom have different expectations about the influence of the parents on their married life, this could be another serious complication. But, if my understanding of Indian families is right, then I don’t think it’s quite as bad as you make it out to be in your objection above.