Hints to raise my daughter firm in the Catholic faith

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Hello. My daughter was born this month and I really would appreciate hints and ideas to help her grow firm in the Catholic faith even in this crazy world, since the salvation of her soul is one of the most important things to me. Thank you!
 
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Introduce her to Jesus as a real person who loves her. Be a disciple. Let her seeing you love people unconditionally, let her see you as an example of Jesus love in action.
 
  • Assist at the Traditional Latin Mass every Sunday.
  • Have only one TV for carefully chosen videos.
  • One computer for business, research, and educational purposes.
  • Don’t get her a smartphone, at least not until she is of an age to be able to handle it.
  • Don’t let her date until she turns 18.
  • Keep the commercial aspect of life to a bare minimum.
  • Homeschool if you can.
  • Use the Baltimore Catechism.
  • Teach by example.
  • Show her what charity looks like, and practice random acts of it.
  • Instill in her a love of the poor.
  • Emphasize modesty in dress.
  • Encourage only wholesome companions.
  • Don’t let the video gaming thing get started.
  • Pray together as a family daily.
  • Teach her that she has intrinsic dignity and self-worth.
  • Do things together as a family.
I’m sure I could think of more, and yes, I am a parent.

One more thing, though it is not religious in nature, just something I always tell parents:
  • If you are a Second Amendment family, keep the stuff locked up and secured, and teach the basics of firearm safety ( For the Parents | Eddie Eagle GunSafe® Program ). They are not toys. They are always treated as though they are loaded.
 
This could inspire great rebellion or great submission to the church.

Also going full Benedict option is good for the short term, I just wonder what happens when she leaves? Will she “overcompensate” for the lack of these things?
 
Do everything you can to deepen your own faith so it can be transmitted with authenticity. Trust that God has a plan to draw her to himself that includes both you and people you have never met. Congratulations! ❤️
 
CilladeRoma said:
Assist at the Traditional Latin Mass every Sunday.
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True, but that is my advice. More and more people are choosing the TLM for a reason. Vocations are emerging from the TLM far out of proportion to the number of adherents.
HumbleIOughtToBe said:
This could inspire great rebellion or great submission to the church.

Also going full Benedict option is good for the short term, I just wonder what happens when she leaves? Will she “overcompensate” for the lack of these things?
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Everyone has to decide to what extent they will allow the secular world into their home, and live with the consequences. Does the world tell you what to do, or do you tell the world how it’s going to be in your home? For what it’s worth, some of my advice comes from having to “learn the hard way” what happens when you don’t do it.

One thing I forgot to mention is to illustrate, by looking at other people’s lives, learning from other people’s mistakes, what the consequences are of following the lead of the secular world, or of not teaching certain things properly (or at all).

Some years ago, my cousin supposedly got a girl pregnant. His father had taught him nothing about this sort of thing. Without getting too graphic, let’s just say the girl told him she couldn’t get pregnant under certain circumstances. They were wealthy, well-educated, bohemian, hippie-libertarian types, I was surprised that their son would have fallen into the trap he did, I would have thought the son would have received a better education in these things. The last I heard, there was some question as to paternity. This was a major teachable moment for my son when I was preparing him for the changes that inevitably come at this time of life.
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Raise her to live confidentaly and independently in the world she has been given. Don’t hide her away. Don’t over-shelter her. Make sure she knows you always believe in her, even when it is hard. She will be a sponge and will absorb everything she sees you do and say, from a very young age. Make sure your behavior is worthy of that. Teach by example. And, on top of all that, teach her your faith and why it is important to you. Encourage questions.
 
imo said:
Hello. My daughter was born this month and I really would appreciate hints and ideas to help her grow firm in the Catholic faith even in this crazy world, since the salvation of her soul is one of the most important things to me. Thank you!
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Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!

Well you have the most wonderful resource at your fingertips today in Evangelii Gaudium (The Joy of the Gospel) It is a wonderful formation aid for new families. I read it bit by bit when it came out and found a real resonance with the wisdom and theology. My children are all adults now and in their mid and late 20’s I am so full of gratitude that they have turned out so beautifully lovely and joyful. (One of the three does not attend Mass regularly but he is a potential saint in the making!) My daughter and oldest son are in Israel at this very moment walking in the footsteps of Jesus and being amazed and awed everyday by this Man, the Son of God.

Be a joyful family. Be patient and guiding without being controlling and judgemental. I now look forward to getting my hands on my grandchildren!
 
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I do not propose embracing paganism and fortification. Elimination of all electronic media, excluding business and education may result in the opposite effect after living in your house.
 
One of your biggest roles is to model the love and faithfulness of God the Father.

When you say you will do something, do it.

She must be able to believe that NOTHING can separate her from your love. Not dumb choices, not accidents, not disagreements, not work, not lack of money, not pregnancy, NOTHING. Therefore, she can come to you and tell you ANYTHING and you will listen. Do not shame her.

You must also model how to be human and humble before God.

If you did something stupid out of anger, or were neglectful, or were otherwise in the wrong, APOLOGIZE to her so that she will learn how to do it from you and give herself permission to seek forgiveness from others. Even if she was in the wrong too.

Don’t just teach rote prayers, teach her how you approach God in prayer. Why do you love Jesus? How do you pray when you don’t feel like it? How do you tell God everything?

Don’t just go as a family to Mass, go as a family to Reconciliation. Model going to confession yourself regularly before 1st confession and 1st Communion. It should be a normal thing we do as Catholics.

Make short visits to the Blessed Sacrament. This should be a normal thing we do as Catholics.

Do intentional works of mercy and services, from visiting elderly friends, to childcare or yardwork, to volunteering at agencies for the poor and vulnerable. This should be a normal thing we do as Catholics.

Take her on several age-appropriate daddy-daughter dates. She will primarily learn from you what she is looking for in a lover. Help her to discover her worth in the eyes of God and do not let her sell herself short.
 
Read the bible to her regularly. My grandmother did that when I was growing up, and that helped me develop a strong faith early on.
 
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Congratulations on your sweetie!! Don’t overthink this. Your daughter is going to notice what you value… if you have a loving relationship with her, she will likely at least give your values serious consideration. Be the good Catholic you are trying to be, love you daughter, and be yourself!
 
Congratulations! This is the first step in a fabulous adventure.!

Are you Mom or Dad? Apparently studies show that the biggest determiner of remaining in the Faith is a good, practicing dad. In this, Mom just isn’t enough :cry:
 
So your daughter will be exposed to the world eventually. And she will most likely leave at some point. Over shelter her, and when she gets freedom, she will view the world through rose colored glasses. You want to plant seeds in her that would make her come back.

On top of some of the advice here, I would recommend teaching her the apologetic part of the faith. Talk to her about issues going on in the world (eg abortion), and address their arguments and refute them.

I think religious parents focus on over sheltering their children and focusing on religious practices and avoid getting into the nitty gritty of the problems going on, i.e. The logic/consistency of arguments. Instead they give religious responses to issues (e.g. The Bible said so).

I see this in many of my friends who are young women. When they get exposed to the real world, they tend to easily fall prey to half baked ideas. Most of them become pro choice simply because their favourite celebrity or professor said “it’s our choice”, and they’re not used to actually critiquing these ideas. So when they come across “logic” in the secular world, they wi dismiss religion because they weren’t taught that both aren’t mutually exclusive at home
 
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Annie said:
Congratulations! This is the first step in a fabulous adventure.!

Are you Mom or Dad? Apparently studies show that the biggest determiner of remaining in the Faith is a good, practicing dad. In this, Mom just isn’t enough
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Thank you for the good words about the neecessity of a dad, even though your comment wasn’t directed at me. I’d like to offer something here.

As many here know, I am divorced. Both of us were at fault. Our son is basically with me every day, and I homeschool him, for many reasons — I am retired, have very (and I do mean very) modest independent means, and I have a fine education with two graduate degrees. I teach him the Faith as best I can. For reasons not edifying to go into, mom does not play nearly as large a part in his life as I do. There is a highly irregular second marriage, while I live as a single celibate man. I am doing everything in my power, under circumstances that could be better, to impart the Faith to our son whole and entire. We need everyone’s prayers here, even though I take some unpopular stances and have esteemed fellow contributors here who disagree with me.
HumbleIOughtToBe said:
I do not propose embracing paganism and fortification. Elimination of all electronic media, excluding business and education may result in the opposite effect after living in your house.
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Electronic media is a two-edged sword. People did without it for centuries. Managed wisely, it can enrich our lives. Left unchecked, it can be a virtual sewer pipe. I am fine with having a TV in the home for carefully selected programs and video. (Some more traditional Catholics are not.) The distinction between television and computing has become very blurry. Every family has to draw a line between what they let into their home and what they do not. It will vary from home to home.
Lea101 said:
I think religious parents focus on over sheltering their children and focusing on religious practices and avoid getting into the nitty gritty of the problems going on, i.e. The logic/consistency of arguments. Instead they give religious responses to issues (e.g. The Bible said so).
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Oh, we get into the nitty-gritty — do we ever! Just this week, my son gave me detailed, well-reasoned, articulate arguments for the existence of God, and explained to me the stranglehold that Hitler had over Europe in World War II. I didn’t ask him, he just started explaining these things to me. Students need to have fertile minds that analyze things, not just be able to parrot memorized facts.
 
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