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ASC
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Be an example.
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HumbleIOughtToBe
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and replace it with one of these:
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AlanTaylor
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Someone in my RCIA class brought up the idea of saying morning and evening prayer as a family. I think that would be a good tip
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Annie
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@imo
Also, have fun together, have good times, make memories and talk about them, joke and laugh together, let the children go and do things with others and come home and tell you about them (and vice versa), let the children have lots of accomplishments (structure things so what they do becomes an accomplishment if need be), teach them study skills and planning and time management, surround the Faith with good memories, joke and laugh, make memories, and have fun together.
Some repeated so they won’t be forgotten!
Also, have fun together, have good times, make memories and talk about them, joke and laugh together, let the children go and do things with others and come home and tell you about them (and vice versa), let the children have lots of accomplishments (structure things so what they do becomes an accomplishment if need be), teach them study skills and planning and time management, surround the Faith with good memories, joke and laugh, make memories, and have fun together.
Some repeated so they won’t be forgotten!
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DisorientingSneeze
Guest
Yes! Help them get to know Jesus in scripture, in prayer, and in age appropriate little visits to adoration.
Something else that has helped me chill out…I used to worry that my prayer life was insufficient. How could I teach something I struggle with and wasn’t taught very well either. A friend who has raised really wonderful teens mentioned to me that she got hers a spiritual director. We aren’t in this alone and we live in a time with greater access to spiritual and parenting resources than ever before! You were born for these times and so was your sweet daughter.
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Peeps
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My husband and raised two beautiful daughters who are now 36 and 33.
You have to find a balance between over-protecting them and allowing them to have freedoms as they are ready to have freedoms.
If you over-protect and hide them from the “real world” (yes, I realize that the world we see is not really the “real world,” but the hidden things–God, heaven, etc. are more REAL than what we process with our senses), they WILL rebel at some point and some will abandon their family. But others will stick with it.
I think that until a child is actually grown up and is still practicing their Christian faith and maintaining Christian values, parents have to be careful about telling others how to parent. I’ve seen quite a few kids turn 18 and TOTALLY walk away from their parents, their Church, their family values, and become utterly pagan. Sometimes a child who appears to be compliant is simply biding their time until they are of age and can legally leave their homes.
Let’s get away from advice about faith and Church for a moment and consider some day-to-day practical advice.
One of the best pieces of advice that I followed was to encourage your children to “follow their natural bent.”
That may be a phrase that you are not familiar with, as the words “natural bent” aren’t used often. What it means is that you help your children find out what they love and have some talent or ability to do, and then encourage them to do it often and with all their heart.
Now obviously, that doesn’t mean allowing them to watch TV constantly, or drink as much alcohol as they can hold!
What it means is discerning what gifts, talents, and abilities God gave your child, and more importantly which of these gifts/talents/abilities your child LOVES to do, and then doing all can afford to help them develop these gifts, talents, and abilities.
God may gift your child in arts, music, sports, writing, charitable acts, gardening, mechanics, taking care of others, animal care, organizing, business, finances, etc.,
Following a child’s natural bent will help them to find their place in this world. Knowing that they have something that they are good at and ENJOY is a way that the child will develop self-worth and confidence in tackling school, work, relationships, etc.
A child who has nothing, no gifts, no talents, no activities, no skills, etc. is a child who will lash out at others who are using their gifts and talents and love doing so. Also, when a child is denied the privilege of following their natural bent, they become frustrated because they aren’t sure what they should be doing in this world, and often they take out their frustration on their parents. A child with nothing is restless, easily bored, and often rebellious. And it goes without saying that a child who isn’t following their natural bent will have a hard time with school, and that includes homeschool!
Be aware, be watchful, and help your child to follow their natural bent. You’ll be glad that you followed this advice from a mom and dad who DID allow our children to follow their natural bents.
You have to find a balance between over-protecting them and allowing them to have freedoms as they are ready to have freedoms.
If you over-protect and hide them from the “real world” (yes, I realize that the world we see is not really the “real world,” but the hidden things–God, heaven, etc. are more REAL than what we process with our senses), they WILL rebel at some point and some will abandon their family. But others will stick with it.
I think that until a child is actually grown up and is still practicing their Christian faith and maintaining Christian values, parents have to be careful about telling others how to parent. I’ve seen quite a few kids turn 18 and TOTALLY walk away from their parents, their Church, their family values, and become utterly pagan. Sometimes a child who appears to be compliant is simply biding their time until they are of age and can legally leave their homes.
Let’s get away from advice about faith and Church for a moment and consider some day-to-day practical advice.
One of the best pieces of advice that I followed was to encourage your children to “follow their natural bent.”
That may be a phrase that you are not familiar with, as the words “natural bent” aren’t used often. What it means is that you help your children find out what they love and have some talent or ability to do, and then encourage them to do it often and with all their heart.
Now obviously, that doesn’t mean allowing them to watch TV constantly, or drink as much alcohol as they can hold!
What it means is discerning what gifts, talents, and abilities God gave your child, and more importantly which of these gifts/talents/abilities your child LOVES to do, and then doing all can afford to help them develop these gifts, talents, and abilities.
God may gift your child in arts, music, sports, writing, charitable acts, gardening, mechanics, taking care of others, animal care, organizing, business, finances, etc.,
Following a child’s natural bent will help them to find their place in this world. Knowing that they have something that they are good at and ENJOY is a way that the child will develop self-worth and confidence in tackling school, work, relationships, etc.
A child who has nothing, no gifts, no talents, no activities, no skills, etc. is a child who will lash out at others who are using their gifts and talents and love doing so. Also, when a child is denied the privilege of following their natural bent, they become frustrated because they aren’t sure what they should be doing in this world, and often they take out their frustration on their parents. A child with nothing is restless, easily bored, and often rebellious. And it goes without saying that a child who isn’t following their natural bent will have a hard time with school, and that includes homeschool!
Be aware, be watchful, and help your child to follow their natural bent. You’ll be glad that you followed this advice from a mom and dad who DID allow our children to follow their natural bents.
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Poet
Guest
FWIW… I am the mother. I did 98% or more of the raising of children, religiously speaking. My now ex husband was too busy ‘working’ to ever come to church with us. (Although I later found he wasn’t too busy working to make time for other women.) I took my large family to church single-handedly for years. I said the Rosary with them nightly. I home-schooled them for several years.
I am grateful to say that all of my children, from a very large family, are walking the straight and narrow and most of them are very Catholic–going to confession, fasting, praying for each other, etc.
I think saying a regular family Rosary together was important. I also look back over many years and think that my own prayer, fasting, perpetual adoration, etc., has to have had it impact.
If studies are correct, then I guess I can only be grateful God has blessed the efforts I made. But I guess that goes to show what we do for our children maters, whether we’re the mother or the father.
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Annie
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You are right: I did not mean to discourage any mothers 
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Poet
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I didn’t take it as you discouraging mothers. If that’s what studies find, then that’s what they find and I’m truly grateful that God blessed my efforts perhaps against greater odds than I realized.You are right: I did not mean to discourage any mothers
Actually, their father did start going to church when I filed. Whether that was genuine or merely for the sake of the narrative and looking like the victimized good Catholic husband
I don’t know. Whether it’s genuine or not, the kids now see their father active and involved in the church. For the older kids, they were adults/nearly adults before that happened. For the younger kids, when they were in elementary school.
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JoeShlabotnik
Guest
The best think you can do is give your daughter a good example, a role model. Be a good Catholic!
Emeraldlady
New member
LumineDiei, I read your link. Wow! It would be so good if everyone followed that good advice.
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redbaron162
Guest
As a father of a 3 year old and 1 year old my best advise I can give is to love them immensely.
Right now you need to be loving them like Jesus loves them. Your going to have crazy days where your so tired of the crying and neediness of children, but don’t get frustrated or angry, just keep loving her and demonstrate to her what a loving father is like, that way she will better understand her heavenly Father’s love when she is older. Also never be afraid to apologize to children. If you get frustrated and snap at them or something take them aside and solemnly apologize to them and ask for their forgiveness. This does not in any way compromise your authority as a parent and it teaches them to ask for forgiveness and to forgive others.
As far as things you can do as a family if you are not praying before meals and at night time as a family I would go ahead and start to lay that foundation. Pray as a family. Yes sometimes it may feel awkward but go ahead and start doing it and soon it will be second nature. Also make it well known to her from a young age that going to mass is not a priority, but a great joy. Tell her how much and show it by your attitude that you think going to church is a great blessing and joy.
Right now you need to be loving them like Jesus loves them. Your going to have crazy days where your so tired of the crying and neediness of children, but don’t get frustrated or angry, just keep loving her and demonstrate to her what a loving father is like, that way she will better understand her heavenly Father’s love when she is older. Also never be afraid to apologize to children. If you get frustrated and snap at them or something take them aside and solemnly apologize to them and ask for their forgiveness. This does not in any way compromise your authority as a parent and it teaches them to ask for forgiveness and to forgive others.
As far as things you can do as a family if you are not praying before meals and at night time as a family I would go ahead and start to lay that foundation. Pray as a family. Yes sometimes it may feel awkward but go ahead and start doing it and soon it will be second nature. Also make it well known to her from a young age that going to mass is not a priority, but a great joy. Tell her how much and show it by your attitude that you think going to church is a great blessing and joy.
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TheLittleLady
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Answer all the HARD questions, even if it is with “I don’t know, let’s find out together”.
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TheLittleLady
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My last thought, have Catholic friends yourself.
When your kids see that being Catholic is part of life, that it does not make you “other”, it makes a huge difference. When the people at your family dinner parties and BBQs and shared vacations are also Catholic, the kids see Catholic as normal.
When your kids see that being Catholic is part of life, that it does not make you “other”, it makes a huge difference. When the people at your family dinner parties and BBQs and shared vacations are also Catholic, the kids see Catholic as normal.
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TC3033
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7 out of 17 isn’t bad, right?
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AlruwhAlquds
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It starts with you. Let her see you attending daily mass. Let her see you and husband dedicate the day to God. Let her grow up and see you praying the rosary. As she gets older she’ll be able to participate in family rosaries. Invite your priests over for dinners. Find Catholic children literature, there are many out there. I’m happy to send you links. There are bible stories and toddler books for even the order of the mass! When my youngest was 2 she would take her toddler missal to mass with her, sure she’d chew on it but now she’s following along with it at 4.
We use a Catholic homeschool curriculum and my youngest, 4 years old knows the basic catholic prayers in her 4 year old voice. Her fav is the St. Michael I didn’t know those prayers that early!
Teach her about her guardian angel and the Blessed Mother. I ended up leaving my career to homeschool and thanks be to God my oldest who is advanced, loves the faith has asked about the Synod and why is it so different than what we learn in catechism! They will pick it up quick and you’ll find you have to keep ahead of them. It’s a beautiful thing to see children practice the virtues. I’m not gonna lie, if I start to feel anger my middle child, 6 year old has said, “Mom, I think you need to pray.” Most of the time it’s pretty funny. Most of the time. lol
We use a Catholic homeschool curriculum and my youngest, 4 years old knows the basic catholic prayers in her 4 year old voice. Her fav is the St. Michael
I didn’t know those prayers that early!Teach her about her guardian angel and the Blessed Mother. I ended up leaving my career to homeschool and thanks be to God my oldest who is advanced, loves the faith has asked about the Synod and why is it so different than what we learn in catechism! They will pick it up quick and you’ll find you have to keep ahead of them. It’s a beautiful thing to see children practice the virtues. I’m not gonna lie, if I start to feel anger my middle child, 6 year old has said, “Mom, I think you need to pray.” Most of the time it’s pretty funny. Most of the time. lol
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