History of the cry room

[aball1035]

What did people in the middle ages do before cry rooms were a “thing”? In the big cathedrals, would there be just a bunch of babies crying all the time? If not, wouldn’t the parents sometimes just have to stay outside until communion?

 

[twf]

What did people in the middle ages do before cry rooms were a “thing”? In the big cathedrals, would there be just a bunch of babies crying all the time? If not, wouldn’t the parents sometimes just have to stay outside until communion?

Is this really a common thing in Catholic parishes? As far as I know they are a very recent Protestant novelty. Certainly neither my cathedral nor my local parish, which are both older churches (late 19th century and early 20th century respectively), have a cry room. Parents with babies just stand / sit near the back and step into the atrium if need be.

 

[Hatikvah]

This is an interesting thread topic. I’ve never come across anything on it before.

Serfs, the majority of the population, were religious because they had to be – they wanted God and the saints to be there for them as impoverished, oppressed and often sick people. They probably went to Mass often, whenever they had time off from their duties. Also, irreverance or heresy was a crime in many jurisdictions.

The sacrament of confirmation’s development in the Middle Ages probably has something to do with this. It was the “sacrament of maturity,” the measure by which one can receive sacraments other than baptism:

When in the Middle Ages it became the practice to confirm close to adolescence instead of infancy,** theologians began to teach that Confirmation was the sacrament of maturity. Those who received it were regarded as old enough and ready to live active, responsible Christian lives.** The Christian was sealed as a witness for Christ in Confirmation and fortified by an increase of the Spirit’s gifts to fight, suffer, and die for the faith. [Source]

Young infants and children, presumably, would not have understood a thing, especially when everything was in Latin and they spoke only the vernacular of their country. (Remember: pre-Vatican II.)

Here are some Catholic resources on the cry room in general: “Banished to the Cry Room: A parent’s plea to the Church”; “What everyone is REALLY thinking in the cry room”; “Children don’t belong in a cry room and neither do you”

 

[EasterJoy]

Mass in the Middle Ages was in Latin, so most of the faithful could not have understood the prayers if they could have heard them. Participation was in presence more than in the idea that the faithful had to hear every word of prayer the priest was offering. (Well, and back then a child who didn’t behave could be beaten into compliance, so there was that, too.)

 

[Millie123]

I remember reading somewhere that even pews and chairs are modern inovations to have in churches. Prior to them the church would be a great big space where people would be standing and more mobile throughout church services. So as to what people did before cry rooms, my best guess would be that they would be standing and moving around with their children as would many of the other congregants would be also.

 

[1ke]

What did people in the middle ages do before cry rooms were a “thing”?

They went to mass, kids and all.

In the big cathedrals, would there be just a bunch of babies crying all the time?

yes.

If not, wouldn’t the parents sometimes just have to stay outside until communion?

a) Most people did not receive communion regularly and no they wouldn’t have stayed outside.

b) They just went to mass and young, old, sick, whatever was just normal

 

[powerofk]

It’s strange - I’m never surprised to see a church building with a cry room, and I’m never surprised to see a church building without one. Oddly enough, at one parish church I know of, the “cry room” is rarely used as such - and instead is used primarily either for overflow capacity or for people who don’t want to hear crying children. The parish church that I currently attend allows parents to use the outside hall for a make-shift cry room, should they desire one.

 

[mommy_k]

I never went to a Parish with a cry room.

 

[newcalling]

My parish is in a historic California mission, built in 1797. There is no cry room. Parents usually make a few attempts to calm their baby, and if the baby won’t settle down and is being particularly loud, they’ll step outside for a few minutes. Yes, they end up missing part of mass. Usually the babies just calm down and no one has to step outside. The Mission seems to have a calming effect, and one can really feel the Presence. Sometimes a baby has a diaper which needs changing though, and that’s just something that has to be dealt with.

 

[CradleJourney]

Also, it strikes me that quiet and privacy were probably things rarely experienced nor expected - families would share small open quarters together that were close to other families with doors and windows open to provide light, and even when shut, no sound-proofing or insulation. So I’d expect the sound of a crying baby to be accepted and common to the point of no one particularly noticing or expecting reverent silence.

 

[Wackotrad]

My guess is that mothers and their babies didn’t go to Mass at all in the middle ages. Between taking care of their other small children, breastfeeding, etc., I doubt that attending Mass was a priority. Our church is pretty old and doesn’t have a cry room, and our [very conservative] priest has told parishioners that they are excused from Mass, per canon law, until their children are old enough to be reasonably under control for an hour.

One interesting thing I’ve noted is that adults around the age of 60 or older always mention having split their time at Masses when their children were young so that they didn’t have to take their babies or toddlers to church. People younger than that seem horrified and/or baffled by the idea, as if it never occurred to them that a husband and wife would attend different Masses, and their small children wouldn’t attend Mass at all.

 

[EasterJoy]

I never went to a Parish with a cry room.

I think they were invented after Catholics became mobile and didn’t know everyone else in their parish church. I grew up in a parish where everyone knew everyone. There were three pews in the very back that were understood to be reserved for the parents with the youngest children, though. If a child screamed too loudly or was too noisy for too long, Father would sometimes just stop until the parent had time to remove the youngster to the vestibule. (Many would be highly offended if that happened now, which is probably why pastors finally resorted to putting in cry rooms.)

 

[mommy_k]

I think they were invented after Catholics became mobile and didn’t know everyone else in their parish church. I grew up in a parish where everyone knew everyone. There were three pews in the very back that were understood to be reserved for the parents with the youngest children, though. If a child screamed too loudly or was too noisy for too long, Father would sometimes just stop until the parent had time to remove the youngster to the vestibule. (Many would be highly offended if that happened now, which is probably why pastors finally resorted to putting in cry rooms.)

Yes this makes sense…I also never belonged to a Parish thar had a church built in the 1900’s or later either, maybe that’s why too.

Even today in my church, parents just walk thier children to the back vestibule also and usually sit near the side aisles so they don’t draw attention to themselves when they get up. Extra naughty behavior, goes outside…but babies and young children cannot help themselves so we don’t mind.

And Father just talks louder over the noise. A ringing cellllphone is what he stops for…

 

[phil19034]

Mass in the Middle Ages was in Latin, so most of the faithful could not have understood the prayers if they could have heard them. Participation was in presence more than in the idea that the faithful had to hear every word of prayer the priest was offering. (Well, and back then a child who didn’t behave could be beaten into compliance, so there was that, too.)

Not true. Most of them understood Latin. They might not have been able to read or write, but they could understand the prayers.

 

[phil19034]

I think they were invented after Catholics became mobile and didn’t know everyone else in their parish church. I grew up in a parish where everyone knew everyone. There were three pews in the very back that were understood to be reserved for the parents with the youngest children, though. If a child screamed too loudly or was too noisy for too long, Father would sometimes just stop until the parent had time to remove the youngster to the vestibule. (Many would be highly offended if that happened now, which is probably why pastors finally resorted to putting in cry rooms.)

I agree with this. I also have never seen a Church with a cry room built before the 1970s.

Protestants have had day cares during their worship services for years. This is most likely where the idea came from… Have a place for the kids to be kids, but unlike the Protestants, still be at Mass.

Some cry rooms even have toys for the toddlers.

 

[EasterJoy]

Not true. Most of them understood Latin. They might not have been able to read or write, but they could understand the prayers.

It depends on if you are talking about the propers or the ordinaries. The Ordinary doesn’t vary, so it doesn’t matter that much if you don’t hear every word. Yes, they’d have known those parts in Latin but would also be able to fill in anything they couldn’t hear, just as we could have a line of the Pater Noster drowned out and still know what was being sung. With the propers or the commons, however, I do not know why an illiterate person would be familiar with more than snatches of the Latin, and most people were illiterate at the time. (Whether “most” means 70% or over 90% is besides the point.)

 

[twf]

Not true. Most of them understood Latin. They might not have been able to read or write, but they could understand the prayers.

Depends what era you’re talking about. 5th century? Sure… latin was the vernacular of what Italy, Spain, what is now France, etc. 14th century? No so much. A huge part of the reformation was Luther trabslating the Mass into German. Even some medieval priests had pretty poor Latin, but read the texts as best they could.

 

[graciew]

We do not have cry -rooms.
When I got to the States I remember having asked what the " fish bowl " was for. I used those words,in lack of better vocabulary…It was a whole new thing for me