Hitchhiker

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nespero

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The other day I was driving to a doctor’s office with my wife when we passed a hitchhiker. It was a good part of town, the hitchhiker looked decent, middle aged, and was carrying a sack of some type. We don’t see a lot of hitchhikers in our area, and this was a pretty well traveled road.

I passed him by, primarily because by the time I saw him it would have been hazardous to stop in the traffic lane to pick him up. But after passing him by I began to wonder if I should turn around and pick him up. That’s when all kinds of bad thoughts came into my head. What if he’s an axe murderer, what if he wants to steal my car, what if he has a gun in that bag? I rationalized it by thinking that I have my wife with me, and I can’t subject her to danger. But I also thought, what would Jesus have done, and have I neglected my Christian duty to my fellow man? What if that hitchhiker had been me, and I just needed a ride to go pick up a broken car, etc. Then I felt very guilty, and thought I should confess this as a sin against charity. Thoughts?
 
It’s generally a bad idea in general to pick up hitchhikers. While they may just be harmless guy trying to get some place, they can also be a dangerous person who’s going to rob/kill you. It’s just not worth taking the risk. If they’re a well meaning person, then oh, they can walk. If they’re a dangerous psycho, then you’re a lot better off.

It’s also illegal in most places anyway.
 
There is a little book by Fr. Jaques Phillipe titled “In the School of the Holy Spirit.” Very short and inexpensive but also very powerful as are the rest of his books.

Father Phillipe states in this book that the way to foster promptings of the Holy Spirit and to discern if the things we are being called to do by God through the whisperings of the Holy Spirit are actually from God and not from our own mind, is to begin to be obedient to the small nudges we get. If the promptings, whispers and nudges we percieve are from God, we will become more aware of the sense of peace when we obey them and follow God’s holy will. If not and they are small matters, then as they say, no-harm, no-foul.

Prudence is wise and while it might be OK for you to pick up a middle aged male hitchhiker, it might not be a good idea for your teenage daugther to do so. One cannot make life changing descisions on impulse. But that feeling you got came from somewhere, either from your mind or from God, and we never know where these feelings, urges and promptings are coming from unitl we begin to become conciously aware of them first of all, receptive to them, and willing to obey them.

His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy.’ (Matthew 25:23)

I would think that it might have been a whisper from God not so much to give a man a ride but to meet that man. Maybe not, but maybe it was. You can’t tell unitl you step out and face those moments. Docility to the promptings of the Holy Spirit is something I had never heard of, never thought of.

The book is wonderful, definitely worth the eight dollar price and I highly recommend it to you and to everyone.

-Tim-
 
It is very unsafe to pick up hitchhikers. However, if you ever feel the need to help somebody who you think is in trouble, then call the police and report that the person is there. If you feel bad that the person may be lost, mental ill, etc, then the police can go there and do a welfare check and provide help to the person, if necessary.
 
Axe murdering man with a gun in a bag out to steal a car? Dangerous psycho who’s going to rob and kill? Mentally ill so call the cops?

Seriously?

Maybe nespero should have just run the guy down and be done with it. 🤷

Wow. Talk about a lamp under a basket and a city on a hill, I tell ya. :rolleyes:

-Tim-
 
I would not have stopped to pick him up.
I have advised my sons to never pick up hitchhikers.
I have also advised my sons to never hitchhike.

It is usually illegal.

Call the police and let them handle it. That way, the hitchhiker is attended to and everyone is safe.
 
my husband would certainly never pick up a hitchhiker if I or one of the kids was in the car, for our safety but he probably would if he was alone in those circumstances. I have picked up young girls stranded, thinking, hey should could be my daughter and run out of gas in the middle of no-where on a winter night. And I have been rescued myself. Prudence dictates you judge each circumstance as it arises, blanket rules seldom work in practice. More often I have called public safety in such circs.
 
nespero said:
The other day I was driving to a doctor’s office with my wife when we passed a hitchhiker. It was a good part of town, the hitchhiker looked decent, middle aged, and was carrying a sack of some type. We don’t see a lot of hitchhikers in our area, and this was a pretty well traveled road.

I passed him by, primarily because by the time I saw him it would have been hazardous to stop in the traffic lane to pick him up. But after passing him by I began to wonder if I should turn around and pick him up. That’s when all kinds of bad thoughts came into my head. What if he’s an axe murderer, what if he wants to steal my car, what if he has a gun in that bag? I rationalized it by thinking that I have my wife with me, and I can’t subject her to danger. But I also thought, what would Jesus have done, and have I neglected my Christian duty to my fellow man? What if that hitchhiker had been me, and I just needed a ride to go pick up a broken car, etc. Then I felt very guilty, and thought I should confess this as a sin against charity. Thoughts?
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Your first duty is towards the safety of your family. You know who else lived in a good part of town, looked decent and middle aged? Paul Bernardo.
 
I picked up a hitchhiker just once.

It was an old man, late at night on Christmas Eve.

Turned out he wanted to get to Mass and no-one would take him.

He had Alzheimer’s, but fortunately the Pastor knew his family.

I will never do this again for a couple of reasons: once someone is in the close confines of the car, the driver is at a supreme disadvantage. Even though I had mace in hand, I still felt fairly helpless if this man turned violent or … strange.

The other reason is I could have been causing an even greater problem for his caregiver. Imagine if he had asked me to take him to a shopping center or somewhere where he might wander off and be lost forever.

IDK, hopefully if the Holy Spirit needs me to help someone I’m able to do so, but it will have to be some seriously strong prompting to get me to even consider it.

Also, walking is generally not that big a deal. A middle aged man could easily get where he needs to go without you putting your family at risk.
 
TimothyH said:
Axe murdering man with a gun in a bag out to steal a car? Dangerous psycho who’s going to rob and kill? Mentally ill so call the cops?

Seriously?

Maybe nespero should have just run the guy down and be done with it. 🤷

Wow. Talk about a lamp under a basket and a city on a hill, I tell ya. :rolleyes:

-Tim-
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Tim, you nailed it, that’s exactly how I felt and still feel. I ask God’s forgiveness and thank Him for a lesson learned for the next time this happens.

In my defense, I’m an elderly guy, and had my wife with me, so I was also thinking about her safety. If I had been alone, I may have reacted differently. But I’ll look for that book.

To the others, I see I’m not alone in how I responded.

Thinking back, I recall maybe 30 years ago picking up three teenage girls who were hitchiking, getting their parent’s numbers, and calling them to pick up their daughters in what could have been a dangerous situation for them. So I’m not immune against picking up hitchhikers, but that was the only time I did it. I can only assume that in this case I acted in a cowardly and self-preserving way, but I did have my wife with me, and I see there are good reasons for acting the way I did.

So, think about how we would react if we saw a hitchhiker who was:
  • a teenage girl by herself on a lonely highway
  • a young well-dressed man on a lonely highway
  • a biker-looking guy with tattoos on the side of the road
Would we react differently? I know I would, and it really gets down to a struggle between Christian charity and our sense of self-preservation. I’m thinking about the good Samaritan in Jesus’ parable and I guess I’m not there yet.
 
nespero said:
So, think about how we would react if we saw a hitchhiker who was:
  • a teenage girl by herself on a lonely highway Maybe yes
  • a young well-dressed man on a lonely highway No
  • a biker-looking guy with tattoos on the side of the road No
Would we react differently? I know I would, and it really gets down to a struggle between Christian charity and our sense of self-preservation. I’m thinking about the good Samaritan in Jesus’ parable and I guess I’m not there yet.
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I think there’s a serious difference between somebody who is actually hurt, and someone merely inconvenienced by lack of a car.
 
Spirithound said:
I think there’s a serious difference between somebody who is actually hurt, and someone merely inconvenienced by lack of a car.
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Thank you, that’s an important distinction. So what about
  • a teenage girl walking by herself on a lonely highway asking for help with her clothes torn
  • a young well-dressed man laying on the side of a road with his clothes torn
  • a biker-looking guy with tattoos laying on the side of the road bleeding and with his clothes torn
Mmm… for me, definite yes to the first, probably yes to the second, and no for the third but with a call to the police the first chance I had.

But, factually, the first case may have been a young robber masquerading, and the third may have been the unfortunate victim of a crime critically needing help. I don’t think many of us are saintly enough to act with perfect Christian charity. Hopefully God understands this and allows for our humanity. And helps us to grow.
 
I picked up a hitchhiker just once.

It was an old man, late at night on Christmas Eve.

Turned out he wanted to get to Mass and no-one would take him.

He had Alzheimer’s, but fortunately the Pastor knew his family.

I will never do this again for a couple of reasons: once someone is in the close confines of the car, the driver is at a supreme disadvantage. Even though I had mace in hand, I still felt fairly helpless if this man turned violent or … strange.

The other reason is I could have been causing an even greater problem for his caregiver. Imagine if he had asked me to take him to a shopping center or somewhere where he might wander off and be lost forever.

IDK, hopefully if the Holy Spirit needs me to help someone I’m able to do so, but it will have to be some seriously strong prompting to get me to even consider it.

Also, walking is generally not that big a deal. A middle aged man could easily get where he needs to go without you putting your family at risk.
nespero said:
Thank you, that’s an important distinction. So what about
  • a teenage girl walking by herself on a lonely highway asking for help with her clothes torn
  • a young well-dressed man laying on the side of a road with his clothes torn
  • a biker-looking guy with tattoos laying on the side of the road bleeding and with his clothes torn
Mmm… for me, definite yes to the first, probably yes to the second, and no for the third but with a call to the police the first chance I had.

But, factually, the first case may have been a young robber masquerading, and the third may have been the unfortunate victim of a crime critically needing help. I don’t think many of us are saintly enough to act with perfect Christian charity. Hopefully God understands this and allows for our humanity. And helps us to grow.
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Guys, I went for YEARS w/o a car. It’s really not the big deal we Americans paint it to be. In Europe, people walk everywhere.

If there’s someone hurt on the side of the road; CALL AN AMBULANCE. Often the 911 operator will be apprised of someone who’s working people. I remember calling once and being told by the operator “Man… they been doin’ that all day”.

Feel free to stop and wait, but under no circumstance should you presume to become the paramedic.

As a young girl, with a broken down car before cell phones, I walked across an entire city in heels. NO WAY would I get in a car; though I have to admit maybe 3 out of the 4 people that offered to assist me were legit; fact is there’s no way to be certain.

Good job calling the teenagers’ parents.
 
Times have changed. My brother and I hitchhiked from home to our high school for a good part of one school year. We actually got a few regulars who would recognize us and pick us up routinely. Once I hitchhiked from Santa Barbara to LAX because the guy who was giving me a ride got a toothache and turned back. A trucker picked me up, and dropped me off on the exit ramp. Took me a twenty minutes just to find an opening to run across the exit ramp.

One summer, my brother and his friend hitchhiked from KC to Chicago to work there for the summer. They made it ok. At the end of the summer they hitchhiked back, and were picked up by a preacher. He wasn’t going as far as they were, so he went to his own stop, then let them drive his car the rest of the way to their destination. He came back to pick it up a few weeks later. That was pretty amazing even for then. But I wouldn’t try such things now.
 
OscarsMama said:
It is very unsafe to pick up hitchhikers. However, if you ever feel the need to help somebody who you think is in trouble, then call the police and report that the person is there. If you feel bad that the person may be lost, mental ill, etc, then the police can go there and do a welfare check and provide help to the person, if necessary.
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Being from Canada, we have the RCMP. I was always taught not to pick up hitchhikers or stop for broken down vehicles (I’m a mid-twenties female and there have been cases of girls getting raped, murdered, mugged, in both provinces I’ve lived in), and to call the RCMP (AKA Buffalo Cabs) instead to do as OscarsMama said. I’ve even had one friend who got caught up in a blizzard in the middle of nowhere and the Mountie who found her put her up in his house for the night with his family until the storm passed. 👍

The police have the training, and equipment to deal with these situations more safely than the average Joe. I leave it to them.
 
I think you execized judgment.I do believe that the way you have described the situation you probably should have picked him up.If this ever happens again and you’ve decided its safe to pick him(her)up go ahead and do it.
 
hitchhiking was also SOP in my college years, I went from East Lansing to Cleveland to visit friends. The last lady who picked me up on the turnpike went out of her way to take me to the airport so I could get rapid transit, paid my fare, and called my friends to meet me. It seems the big news story that weekend was a college girl hitchhiking from CT who got picked up by a nice middle-class looking couple in a new car, raped, killed and left on the highway. That was my last foray.

I have picked up elderly people walking dazedly along the highway where they have no business being, taking them to the nearest gas station so police can be called and find the family.
 
As a general rule, such people are dangerous and unstable and almost always have some sort of weapon.

Now if their car is broke down right there that’s different.
 
valentino said:
I think you execized judgment.I do believe that the way you have described the situation you probably should have picked him up.If this ever happens again and you’ve decided its safe to pick him(her)up go ahead and do it.
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Yes, I think judgement is the key, and what most others have inferred as well. I think the reason I felt so bad when I passed by that hitchhiker was that I felt I exercised bad judgement given that specific situation. If it had been on a lonely road, and a suspicious looking person, I would not have felt badly. Well, I may have felt badly for the person, but not for my decision to pass them by.

As puzzleannie and others said, times have changed. Not many hitchike today, which means those who do are either desperate for a ride or are a danger to themselves or to us. I think if I had to resort to hitchiking in a desperate situation, I might just stand in the middle of the road and force a car to stop. That way they either pick me up or call the cops, both of which would be good outcomes. So that may be another sign of the hitchhiker’s urgency in needing a ride.
 
Picking up hitch hikers is illegal in every state I can think of. Per the Catechism, we are bound as Catholics to obey the laws of our society.

It is also dangerous and reckless behavior. You have no idea who that person walking on the side of the road may be. Evil people do not wear a sign or look like monsters. They look just like everyone else.

If you truly feel called by the Spirit to help such a person, call the police and inform them of the person. The person will then get the care they need, if relevant, and you will have complied with societal laws as you are obligated to do as a Catholic. And, you will not have endangered yourself thereby forgetting your duty to your family and loved ones.
 
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