Holding hands at the Our Father

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I personally like holding my wife’s hand during the Our Father. I don’t think anybody should be forced to. If you don’t want to, don’t do it.
 
I like it, it is common in my diocese and I grew up with it so I don’t ever feel uncomfortable about it.
 
I voted “other”.

It is an innovation that is being added to the Mass which the rubrics of do not call for.

While some may say that it is a “good show of community” the real show of community in the Mass is the Eucharist.

I have had people try to force me to do it. One actually poked me so hard in the ribs that I bruised because I refused to take his hand.

IHMO this action is the forcing of the view of a certain group of people upon the Mass. The Mass does not call for this action so it should not be done. But then some people think they know better.
 
Other.
Personally, I don’t like it, but I don’t mind others doing it.
 
It personally drives me nuts when people hold hands during the our father. Married couples holding hands during the our father (and the rest of the Mass) is one thing, but the congregation as a whole, I think it isn’t a good idea, and sorry if I anger people, but I think it looks pretty stupid too…

I’ve never understood the whole holding hands while praying in a group thing.
 
I concur with the last poster (and most here) – it seems silly, and it is definitely not prescribed.
 
ByzCath said:
I voted “other”.

It is an innovation that is being added to the Mass which the rubrics of do not call for.

While some may say that it is a “good show of community” the real show of community in the Mass is the Eucharist.

I have had people try to force me to do it. One actually poked me so hard in the ribs that I bruised because I refused to take his hand.

IHMO this action is the forcing of the view of a certain group of people upon the Mass. The Mass does not call for this action so it should not be done. But then some people think they know better.
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This is silly. To suggest that people should not hold hands because the rubrics do not explicitly call for it is silly.

On the other hand because it’s not part of the rubrics no one should be forced to hold hands. All one has to do is keep their hands to themselves if they feel that way. The notion that one can be “forced” to hold hands is ludicrous – a weak attempt at justifying their obsession over the “innovation” of hand-holding.
 
TheMc said:
It personally drives me nuts when people hold hands during the our father. Married couples holding hands during the our father (and the rest of the Mass) is one thing, but the congregation as a whole, I think it isn’t a good idea, and sorry if I anger people, but I think it looks pretty stupid too…

I’ve never understood the whole holding hands while praying in a group thing.
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That’s YOUR problem in all actuality.
 
This is a new thing and is not required by the church.I like it because it links your family during prayer.
 
Remington said:
This is silly. To suggest that people should not hold hands because the rubrics do not explicitly call for it is silly.

On the other hand because it’s not part of the rubrics no one should be forced to hold hands. All one has to do is keep their hands to themselves if they feel that way. The notion that one can be “forced” to hold hands is ludicrous – a weak attempt at justifying their obsession over the “innovation” of hand-holding.
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So, the rubrics are silly? The rubrics are there to tell us what can / should / must be done.

Apparently you hold hands, since you cannot think that someone can be forced to hold hands. It is not at all ludicrous - I have experienced another person first reaching their hand out to me, then, when I simply kept my hands clasped before me with my eyes on the altar, I was tapped on the arm to get my attention, and immediately after, the person grabbed my hand and pulled. Isn’t that being forced? We are at Mass. What would you suggest I do - start a wrestling match, pulling my hand back? Shout at the person? Hit them with the other hand?

Yes, I am exaggerating here, but, unless you are prepared to make a scene at Mass, you can, indeed, be forced to hold hands. It might be infrequently, but it happens.

Further, when you don’t hold hands with someone (I may smile at the person, shake my head, and murmur “I don’t hold hands”), then they may spurn you at the sign of peace. This has happened to me a number of times.
 
For those who say it’s not in the rubrics for the congregation, let me say that many things that people who do at the EF aren’t either. I grew up in a sede church. Thank God I got out and joined full communion. I’m very familiar with the EF. I went to it for about 18 years. What I mean by some things people at EF do are they go off in there own world and almost forget about where the priest is even at in the mass. They’ll read a prayer book, say the Rosary, etc. To truly follow the rubrics, you would need to follow the missal exactly in the pew and respond with the altar servers, I would think and I am in total support of EF goers doing this, This doesn’t happen at a great part of your EF churches. I have heard a certain fssp priest discuss about congregation rubrics in a sermon. He explicitly said that the congregation aren’t bound by the rubrics as the priest and servers are. Just a thought.
 
Joan_M said:
So, the rubrics are silly? The rubrics are there to tell us what can / should / must be done.

Apparently you hold hands, since you cannot think that someone can be forced to hold hands. It is not at all ludicrous - I have experienced another person first reaching their hand out to me, then, when I simply kept my hands clasped before me with my eyes on the altar, I was tapped on the arm to get my attention, and immediately after, the person grabbed my hand and pulled. Isn’t that being forced? We are at Mass. What would you suggest I do - start a wrestling match, pulling my hand back? Shout at the person? Hit them with the other hand?

**Yes, I am exaggerating here, but, unless you are prepared to make a scene at Mass, you can, indeed, be forced to hold hands. It might be infrequently, but it happens.**Further, when you don’t hold hands with someone (I may smile at the person, shake my head, and murmur “I don’t hold hands”), then they may spurn you at the sign of peace. This has happened to me a number of times.
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Try folding your hands in front of your belly, keep your head down and eyes closed while praying the Our Father. People get the message.

For me, I find a sense of community in hand holding, but don’t particularly have a preference either way.
 
I would prefer it if all people understood that they are not obliged to take my hand when I have not offered it. I think some people perhaps do not understand this, which would explain why they take it anyway when I haven’t offered it. Perhaps they mistakenly think I am distracted, and have forgotten to offer it, so they help me along.

But it could be a cultural thing, I imagine, where my culture and theirs are not communicating well, so they don’t read my body signals. Or, perhaps, they think I did offer it and they accidentally neglected to take it, so they are remedying their perceived error.

It could be a lot of things, I imagine. But someone from the pulpit could fix the first one I mentioned, by letting the congregation know that holding my hand is not an obligation for them. Most congregants do know this, of course, but I suspect some do not.
 
Remington said:
This is silly. To suggest that people should not hold hands because the rubrics do not explicitly call for it is silly.
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This says it all. This is why abuses occur at the Mass.

I do not expect to see you complain about any abuses of the Mass in the future as it is “silly” to expect anyone to follow the rubrics faithfully.
 
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