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connierog
Guest
Is there an ‘official’ ruling on holding hands with the people next to you during the Our Father at mass?
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mattjd
Guest
Yes, don’t do it. Do it at the end of an AA meeting but not during Mass.
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Seatuck
Guest
It depends upon what you mean by official. The main discussion is that we are not instructed to do so in any of the liturgical documents governing the mass. We have been instructed not to add anything or take away anything from the Mass. A few years ago this question was asked and answered on the US Bishop’s website but the answer has since been withdrawn since the problem has grown so widespread. The Bishop’s basically said that the sign of unity in the Mass is the Eucharist which is the focus of the Mass. When the people try to do things to express unity like holding hands then they take away from the focus of the mass.
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Annemariels
Guest
I am not a touchie-feelie person and between the Our Father and the greet- those-around-you at the beginning of the Mass, all that required warm-fuzziness really throws me for a loop and distracts me from the Mass. I have a neighbor who gets to Mass late every single week to avoid all that. By coming late, he misses the greet-those around-you part, and can scout out a spot in the church where he has elbow room and won’t be forced to hold hands during the Our Father.
An interesting sidenote - When I go to daily Mass at a nearby parish, it cracks me up. All the touchie-feelie people sit on one side of the church and are really good at contorting their bodies so they can all hold hands from row to row. The other side of the church is where the people like me sit, all spread out so there is no chance of having to hold hands. We even have to give each other a friendly wave during the sign of peace b/c we are so far apart.
An interesting sidenote - When I go to daily Mass at a nearby parish, it cracks me up. All the touchie-feelie people sit on one side of the church and are really good at contorting their bodies so they can all hold hands from row to row. The other side of the church is where the people like me sit, all spread out so there is no chance of having to hold hands. We even have to give each other a friendly wave during the sign of peace b/c we are so far apart.
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Simon_X
Guest
I agree and feel the same way. Unfortunately, this seems to be a sort of tradition at most Churches in our Archdiocese to greet everyone before Mass (I would rather pray or prepare myself in other ways, and hold hands during Our Father (I don’t mind doing with family, but not with people I do not know).
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thistle
Guest
That is simply not correct. There is no official ruling against it.
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Paul1961
Guest
“Bah humbug”
You don’t have to be a touchie feelie person. I certainly am not. Exchanging greetings is a basic foundation of civil society. Saying hello is merely the polite thing to do. I think entering and totally ignoring the people around me would be incredibly rude. People tend to attend the same mass and sit in the same area each week. I believe greeting each other helps people feel a little bit connected to each other and the parish. After mass, we are encouraged to linger in an outer space and chat with each other. Light refreshments are even provided.
As far as the “Our Father” is concerned. Our parish sings the Our Father and many/most join hand with their family members. We don’t contort ourselves to hold hands from row to row. It took me a few years to get used to it but now I like it.
I think it is all part of the effort to make the church a friendlier more inviting place. This may slow or reverse the loss of Catholics in the country.
You don’t have to be a touchie feelie person. I certainly am not. Exchanging greetings is a basic foundation of civil society. Saying hello is merely the polite thing to do. I think entering and totally ignoring the people around me would be incredibly rude. People tend to attend the same mass and sit in the same area each week. I believe greeting each other helps people feel a little bit connected to each other and the parish. After mass, we are encouraged to linger in an outer space and chat with each other. Light refreshments are even provided.
As far as the “Our Father” is concerned. Our parish sings the Our Father and many/most join hand with their family members. We don’t contort ourselves to hold hands from row to row. It took me a few years to get used to it but now I like it.
I think it is all part of the effort to make the church a friendlier more inviting place. This may slow or reverse the loss of Catholics in the country.
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Catholicben
Guest
But you can do that before and after mass outside the church. During mass, our only attention should be on Jesus.:bowdown:
:getholy:Like this?
Please, If I’m seeming a bit harsh, someone please call me on it.
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FrDavid96
Guest
What exactly do you mean by the “greet those around you part” (of the Mass?) There’s no such part of the Mass in any Sacramentary that I’ve seen. Just curious what you mean by that.
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graceandglory
Guest
Really good positive response.
My Dad was away from the Church for about 20 years.
When he finally returned to the Church, they were holding hands during the Our Father. My Dad isn’t “touchy feely” and was raised in the Pre-Vatican 2 Church.
When he returned to Church, he had a compromised immune system. The touchy feely Our Father made it a very creepy place for him. He couldn’t bring himself to come back after that. He was too afraid he would get sick. I was too new of a convert to know what to say.
He died about a year later.
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Reynardus
Guest
I personally think it distracts too much.
I find that if I hold someone’s hand, thoughts like…
ummm…this guy’s hands are rough…probably does hand laundry.
Arrrgghh…this lady’s nails are SSHHARRP. They’re cutting into my hand!
Brrrr…what cold hands…is this guy a zombie or what?
Instead of praying the Our Father as I should, I end up fighting the temptation not to be distracted rather than concentrating.
I don’t need more distractions at Mass thank you. I already have enough. Today, there were some kids a few rows in front playing their PSP’s during the entire Mass. And some weeks back, someone was drinking a Fruit Shake in front of me during the Homily.
I find that if I hold someone’s hand, thoughts like…
ummm…this guy’s hands are rough…probably does hand laundry.
Arrrgghh…this lady’s nails are SSHHARRP. They’re cutting into my hand!
Brrrr…what cold hands…is this guy a zombie or what?
Instead of praying the Our Father as I should, I end up fighting the temptation not to be distracted rather than concentrating.
I don’t need more distractions at Mass thank you. I already have enough. Today, there were some kids a few rows in front playing their PSP’s during the entire Mass. And some weeks back, someone was drinking a Fruit Shake in front of me during the Homily.
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FrCorey
Guest
YES! someone needs to print the congregations parts AGAIN and hand them out to people. like the old days.
and make sure they follow it. no adlibbing.
Actually, there is. Notitiae 11 (1975) 226.
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Simon_X
Guest
Before Mass begins, we’re asked to greet those around us and if we don’t know them, to introduce ourselves.
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Seatuck
Guest
Unfortunately some Priests are directing folks to do things that are not in the rubrics. I’ve been at a few parishes and told to do the “meet and greet thing” by the Priest at the beginning of Mass after he processes in and reaches the sanctuary.
I believe this is what is known as adding to the Mass and should not be done.
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FrDavid96
Guest
Realy? That’s new to me. Is that posted somewhere on the web?
I’ve always known that it’s an abuse, but have never been able to prove it except to say that as an unauthorized addition to the Mass it’s not allowed.
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Phemie
Guest
Notitiae 11 (1975) 226 deals specifically with substituting holding hands at the Our Father for the Sign of Peace.
That’s right. However, while most hand-holding is not done in lieu of the sign of peace, the reasoning remains sound, that (1) it is a sign of communion, and this is not the place for it; and (2) it is a personal initiative and not in the rubrics.
I think a reasoned reading of this Notitiae clearly shows that holding of hands during the Lord’s Prayer in general (judging from the first sentences) is not what the Holy See wants.
Ultimately, though, I think the lasting solution to this hand-holding business is that the rubrics be amended and call for the priest to keep his hands joined (since the Lord’s Prayer is no longer a presidential, but common prayer) instead of extended. Do that, and I’ll bet that hand-holding will die out soon enough.
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Annemariels
Guest
Okay, I stand corrected. The “meet-and-greet” part of our celebration comes right before the priest begins Mass. It is not part of the Mass. Sorry about that error. Nevertheless, it still bothers me even if it technically is not part of the Mass.
Also, for as long as I can remember, any time I have entered a pew I have always given those around me a smile and maybe a whispered “hello” as my family gets situated. And as someone else comes in the pew or one in front of me, it’s the same natural human reaction to acknowledge those around us in some way. I rarely see anyone slipping into a pew totally oblivious to those around them.
I think that by the time the Mass officially begins, everyone has already said their quiet hello’s and we don’t need the forced touchy-feely greeting.
By the way, although I am not touchy-feely it does not mean I am anti-social. They are truly not the same.
Also, for as long as I can remember, any time I have entered a pew I have always given those around me a smile and maybe a whispered “hello” as my family gets situated. And as someone else comes in the pew or one in front of me, it’s the same natural human reaction to acknowledge those around us in some way. I rarely see anyone slipping into a pew totally oblivious to those around them.
I think that by the time the Mass officially begins, everyone has already said their quiet hello’s and we don’t need the forced touchy-feely greeting.
By the way, although I am not touchy-feely it does not mean I am anti-social. They are truly not the same.
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Lux_et_Tenebrae
Guest
Hi,
The 1975 GIRM is superceded by the 2002 edition, but even if it were not, this addresses hand holding at the sign of peace. It is misapplied to another part of the Mass, such as the Lord’s prayer.
This response regarding the Orans posture is more appropriate, but still not exact.
Orans
You are just as incorrect to say one may not hold hands as to say one may not fold their hands or use the orans posture. It is not up to the individual to interprete Girm instructions, and also incorrect to instruct or forbid anything on their own authority.
Lux
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