Holding hands during the Our Father

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WhiteDove359

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The parishes in my Archdiocese, some people hold hands during the Our Father, and others do not. some people just make the motion of hand holding , by holding them up in the air others do not. some people, just hold there own hands against themselves. at first, I thought it was just my church. but then i wen tto mass at others in the same archdiocese, and it was the same…and then, i just came back from San Fransco and the Yosemitie area, and its identicle…is there a proper and an un proper to do this??
 
WhiteDove359 said:
The parishes in my Archdiocese, some people hold hands during the Our Father, and others do not. some people just make the motion of hand holding , by holding them up in the air others do not. some people, just hold there own hands against themselves. at first, I thought it was just my church. but then i wen tto mass at others in the same archdiocese, and it was the same…and then, i just came back from San Fransco and the Yosemitie area, and its identicle…is there a proper and an un proper to do this??
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Hi.

This is a very common question on the Forums.

The General Instruction does not give any requirements for what the laity are to do during the Lord’s Prayer. But we are discouraged from mimicking what the priest does, for these postures are reserved to the priest, the celebrant of the Mass.

For me, holding hands is also illogical. I’m about to shake hands with you during the sign of peace. Why should I hold hands–an intimate gesture–twice?

I buck the trend at any Mass I go to. I simply put my hands together, palms flat in the posture of prayer throughout the entire Liturgy of the Eucharist. It discourages others from mimicking others who are holding hands, and I hope others will soon know it’s not a requirement to hold hands–nor is it a requirement or is it proper to raise hands in the air: the *orans *posture of the priest.

I know that the holding of hands gives some a sense of community. But there are better ways to do so, I’m sure–and certainly not in the Mass. It’s not about us. It’s about God.

Peggy Frye of Catholic Answers has a more detailed answer in this Ask an Apologist thread.
 
I think it started in other Christian churches and just kinda spread. I don’t hold hands, but I see other people do in Churches.
 
Where are you from? It seems that hand holding is a “southern thing”. Up north in Wisconsin they don’t do it, but it’s universal down here in Texas. I don’t hold hands or do the orant (the thing with the hands in the air with the palms facing out) because that’s a priestly gesture. It started out as a normal posture of prayer, but over time it became something a priest did. The Maronites don’t hold hands either.
 
GIR said:
Where are you from? It seems that hand holding is a “southern thing”. Up north in Wisconsin they don’t do it, but it’s universal down here in Texas. I don’t hold hands or do the orant (the thing with the hands in the air with the palms facing out) because that’s a priestly gesture. It started out as a normal posture of prayer, but over time it became something a priest did. The Maronites don’t hold hands either.
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I don’t think its a “southern thing”, there are many churches around here in PA that do it as well. I think its more of “let’s make the church friendly and hip” type of thing.

I don’t hold hands. And you would think I personally did something wrong to the person beside me that wants to hold hands with some of the looks I get when I decline.
 
Sunday Masses, no: Intimate Masses, yes. … How’s that!

If someone next to you wants to hold your hand, do. Otherwise, don’t. … How’s that!
 
Spencerian said:
Hi.

This is a very common question on the Forums.

The General Instruction does not give any requirements for what the laity are to do during the Lord’s Prayer. But we are discouraged from mimicking what the priest does, for these postures are reserved to the priest, the celebrant of the Mass.

For me, holding hands is also illogical. I’m about to shake hands with you during the sign of peace. Why should I hold hands–an intimate gesture–twice?

I buck the trend at any Mass I go to. I simply put my hands together, palms flat in the posture of prayer throughout the entire Liturgy of the Eucharist. It discourages others from mimicking others who are holding hands, and I hope others will soon know it’s not a requirement to hold hands–nor is it a requirement or is it proper to raise hands in the air: the *orans *posture of the priest.

I know that the holding of hands gives some a sense of community. But there are better ways to do so, I’m sure–and certainly not in the Mass. It’s not about us. It’s about God.

Peggy Frye of Catholic Answers has a more detailed answer in this Ask an Apologist thread.
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Agree.

I try to remember to keep my palms together in prayer during the Our Father as well.
 
Depending on how our 1-year-old is doing that day (happy, tantrumy, or sleeping) we go to one of two parishes.

At the one we prefer to go to, the parishoners are younger, many of us are friends and many of us are very outgoing. We hold hands during the Our Father, even crossing the aisle at the instruction of the priest. Yes, this goes against GIRM, but no one has yet complained. I have seen a few parishoners cross their arms and others respect this as a recognition that some consider the Our Father to be an intimate prayer more than holding a community meaning. It just works well at this parish, suffice to say.

At the one we go to when a 30-minute drive isn’t really feasible, it’s common for folks to hold their hands up and open but rare to see them holding hands. An earlier post said that this was imitating holding hands, and another said this was imitating the priest’s hands. I honestly thought it was just one of the many prayerful positions, based on liturgical art - an embrace of Heaven, if you will, but anyway. My family and I always hold hands during prayers - it’s part of our affection and sense of unity - but we’re often the only ones.

I really like the idea of clasping your hands together in prayer if you don’t think holding hands is appropriate. But I don’t think we ought to condemn it either. C.S. Lewis (admittedly, not a Catholic, though I like much of what he writes) wrote something to the extent that the body ought to imitate the disposition of the soul during prayer, so if you feel the desire to share a the Prayer of the Church as a community, do so. If you find it to be most intimate, let your body show that.
 
It’s really hard to find a church in Rochester, NY that doesn’t do it, so I don’t think it’s a southern thing either. I heard someone say on Catholic radio that it is technically a liturgical abuse, and I am not an expert but that makes perfect sense to me.

Personally, I think this generally projects an atmosphere of disorganization and irreverence, especially coming right after the Eucharistic prayer. Having said that, I can’t think of a whole lot of good coming from refusing someone who has already extended their hand to me, so I don’t (we as Catholics are routinely blasted for having such unfriendly masses as it is). Like Spencerian suggested, I fold my hands and try to be as inwardly contemplative as I can to discourage it. It really helps when I’m holding one of the children; I haven’t had one hand extended to me yet in that case…
 
im from Detroit. And yea, I get some pretty dirty looks by people who want to hold my hand…Im like…noooo lol its not that im a germ-a-phobe, becuase if i were, i would not be drinking out of the chalice…
 
It is a prayer. It seems right to bow my head and clasp my hands in prayer. I also refuse to hold hands. Nothing personal. It just feels improper.
 
It’s part of the “horizontal”, “people-oriented” worship taken from Protestantism. It was one of the several things that bothered me about coming to the Catholic Church from Anglicanism* ~ the Traditional Mass is much more similar to what I am used to than the New Mass.

As for what is licit, the posture of the faithful is not prescribed ~ thus people are free to adopt what is most useful. The priest should at least not be holding hands because he should be in orans position with outstretched arms. He should also not call for people to hold hands, but if people on their own decide to hold hands, that is their own decision. Personally, when I’ve been to NO parishes that do this (and many do, at least on Sundays when there are more people), it makes me feel very uncomfortable and I try to avoid it if possible but if someone is grabbing at my hand, I don’t want to make someone think I think they’re gross and dirty, so I’ll go along with it.

It is also common for at least a few people to raise their hands into an orans position with the priest during the Our Father. According to the rubrics, the priest must extend his hands, the deacon must not, but the people are not mentioned, so they do whatever they want. It does, however, seem to smack of imitating the priest. But it can also happen from involvement in the Charismatic movement.

Here is my solution: how about the priest says the Our Father alone? After all, that is how Jesus instituted it ~ as a priestly prayer.
* Yes, my family was (formerly/lapsed) Catholic, not Anglican. I got involved in Anglicanism on my own, after not being Christian for several years, through some friends. I was involved in an Anglo-Catholic church for about three years before becoming Roman Catholic.
 
PilgrimToChrist said:
Here is my solution: how about the priest says the Our Father alone? After all, that is how Jesus instituted it ~ as a priestly prayer.
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How did you come to this conclusion? :confused:

*Luke 11:1-4
He was praying in a certain place, and when he had finished, **one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples.” **
He said to them, “When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread and forgive us our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us, and do not subject us to the final test.” *

If it was one of the Apostles who asked the question, I could see the reasoning for your answer, but it was a question by a disciple.
I take that to mean that these words are for ALL of us to pray.
 
People used to hold hands in our parish.
A number of years ago our Bishop instructed us not to hold hands and the practice died out.
(However, during the swine flu scare he suggested that we not hold hands during The Lord’s Prayer. I believe it is a different Bishop from before.)
 
GIR said:
Where are you from? It seems that hand holding is a “southern thing”. Up north in Wisconsin they don’t do it, but it’s universal down here in Texas. I don’t hold hands or do the orant (the thing with the hands in the air with the palms facing out) because that’s a priestly gesture. It started out as a normal posture of prayer, but over time it became something a priest did. The Maronites don’t hold hands either.
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Definitely not true. I’m from the middle east of Wisconsin and at many parishes here they hold hands. I also went to college in the furthest north you can get in Wisconsin and they also held hands.

However, unless I’m with a choir or people I know who initiate the holding of hands, I don’t hold hands. I prefer not to. So I fold my hands in front of me like I’m praying. Sometimes I wonder if people wonder why I don’t hold hands, but I just don’t prefer it.
 
WhiteDove359 said:
im from Detroit. And yea, I get some pretty dirty looks by people who want to hold my hand…Im like…noooo lol its not that im a germ-a-phobe, becuase if i were, i would not be drinking out of the chalice…
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I have actually had people grab my hands when I do this and yank them down so that I can hold theirs. It has only happened several times, but I wasn’t sure how to react…They meant well I suppose, but at the same time it seemed that they had a totally skewed concept of community.
 
PilgrimToChrist said:
Here is my solution: how about the priest says the Our Father alone? After all, that is how Jesus instituted it ~ as a priestly prayer.
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LOL, totally. I’ve even – if you can believe this – been to TLMs where they let the disgusting, unconsecrated congregation sully the last five words by singing them too. Unreal. Hands off, folks. Fortunately, my parish priest has plenty of spare time to hang around whenever I pray the Rosary so he can say the Pater Noster for me before every decade.
 
Oneofthewomen said:
How did you come to this conclusion? :confused:

*Luke 11:1-4
He was praying in a certain place, and when he had finished, **one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples.” ***
He said to them, “When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread and forgive us our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us, and do not subject us to the final test.”

If it was one of the Apostles who asked the question, I could see the reasoning for your answer, but it was a question by a disciple.
I take that to mean that these words are for ALL of us to pray.
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I was thinking the same exact thing…BEFORE i read this.
 
MarkThompson said:
LOL, totally. I’ve even – if you can believe this – been to TLMs where they let the disgusting, unconsecrated congregation sully the last five words by singing them too. Unreal. Hands off, folks. Fortunately, my parish priest has plenty of spare time to hang around whenever I pray the Rosary so he can say the Pater Noster for me before every decade.
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This isnt the way its done?
My Marian Missal shows that the server, at least, says:
Sed libera nos a malo.
I’ve only experience EF Masses at one F.S.S.P. parish, and the “disgusting” congregation has always joined in that part of the Lord’s prayer.

I guess only priests are not disgusting??? I suppose we’re all wretches?? :eek:
 
We don’t do it at our parish generally. Sometimes you may see a small family doing it, but that’s about it. Honestly though, I would want to hold hands during the Our Father. Granted the Mass is about God, but not us, but the our father is prayer and praise. I think holding hands confirms that we are in fact catholic (in the universal sense) and we all believe in the same God.
 
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