Holding Hands during the Our Father

[thewanderer]

Practice of the assembly means to me that which everyone is expected to do. The priest shouldn’t tell the congregation to hold hands but here they did. They use to drop hands at the end of the Our Father. Eventually the priest had them hold hands all the way through the “For Thine” I don’t know when it started but at that point not only were they holding hands but now they raise their hands up.

I don’t care if others do it as long as they respect those who do not. Most of the time this is the case. I wonder if they knew that it wasn’t part of Mass that they would still do it?

Thank you for this clarification!

This makes a lot of sense to me, and it is clear that there is liturgical abuse going on with respect to this. I personally would refrain from holding hands for the sake of not encouraging the idea that it is expected or required, seeing as that is an idea that people have, particularly in certain parishes. This is not a problem in my current parish, even though there are people who hold hands. So it is not necessarily something that leads to a liturgical abuse, the problem seems to come from the fact that it has been encouraged by some priests as the correct thing to do. In parishes where it is made clear that it is not required in any way shape or form it is much morelikely that those who participate in it will do it for the purpose of a sign of unity rather than because they feel they are “supposed” to.

 

[thewanderer]

I never knew that this was suppose to be a sign of unity. I wonder what the majority of people who do this would say when asked why they were doing it.

I guess seeing as I have myself admitted that I don’t do this, this is a very good question.

Nobody ever told me it was supposed to be a sign of unity, I guess I assumed that because thats what holding hands is generally a sign of. It is almost always some sort of sign of unity. So it seemed obvious that if this gesture which is culturally held as a sign of unity were introduced spontaneously into sections of the Liturgy the same cultural meaning would carry over. If it is not being used as a sign of unity then I see absolutely no reason for its use.

[Edit: its not quite correct to say that no one has ever told me it is meant as a sign of unity, I have now heard that from multiple people.What I meant to imply was simply that I originally came to the understanding of it as a sign of unity before anyone told me that was what was intended because of the above]

 

[adrift]

Thank you for this clarification!

This makes a lot of sense to me, and it is clear that there is liturgical abuse going on with respect to this. QUOTE]

I attend Church with my daughter. She lives in another diocese than I do. They use to hold hands. I don’t know what happened but they stopped and now they do the orans position. I have never asked my daughter about it but I think I will. This diocese was told by the Bishop to stand from the Our Father to the end of Mass. The new Bishop has changed that. They now kneel after the Agnus Dei.

 

[robwar]

:

My family holds hands and prays together. I don’t see why this is a big deal.
If families want to hold hands so be it. I’m not really big on the whole parish having to hold hands. Personally I think there are bigger problems to focus on in the church. Like politicains receviving communion when they support abortion, same sex marriage and birth control. Just my opinion.

Amen!

 

[Joe_5859]

Clearly it is an issue that is near and dear to many people’s hearts.

I just find it fascinating how there are certain topics, even ones that are seemingly so benign as holding hands during prayer, that get us all riled up. This thread has 120+ posts in little more than a day!

Of course, I myself cannot resist posting in such threads.

 

[nickybr38]

I just find it fascinating how there are certain topics, even ones that are seemingly so benign as holding hands during prayer, that get us all riled up. This thread has 120+ posts in little more than a day!

Of course, I myself cannot resist posting in such threads.

I agree but I think it’s probably one of those issues that is bugging a lot of people but isn’t controversial enough to instigate bans and fierce arguments.

 

[peeplania]

good day
seen here on forums.catholic-questions.org someone has described it in the topic , but is not quite true , that’s addition.
You visited a great idea
ïî êàêîìó êàíàëó ñåãîäíÿ ôóòáîë

 

[ProVobis]

Except that one becomes much more focused on his neighbor than God. You make a lot of people very uncomfortable too by forcing them into it. That’s invasion of space, IMO. In fact outside of church, it’s grounds for harassment.

 

[nickybr38]

Except that one becomes much more focused on his neighbor than God. You make a lot of people very uncomfortable too by forcing them into it. That’s invasion of space, IMO. In fact outside of church, it’s grounds for harassment.

I will admit a certain amount of frustration sometimes when I think about the fact that I’m taking their hand to save them discomfort but they are not affording me the same courtesy by seeing if I reach for THEM before attempting to grasp my hand.

But… it’s not harassment. It’s well meaning people doing what they feel is proper and loving.

 

[thewanderer]

Except that one becomes much more focused on his neighbor than God. You make a lot of people very uncomfortable too by forcing them into it. That’s invasion of space, IMO. In fact outside of church, it’s grounds for harassment.

Also… While this can be the case it is not necessarily so. In other words, this is not something that is intrinsically wrong with the practice, even though this can occur.

 

[ProVobis]

But… it’s not harassment. It’s well meaning people doing what they feel is proper and loving.

Hmmm. That’s not what I heard at the last sexual harassment meeting at work.

But I’ll have to concede that they’re ways of holding one’s hand without sexual arousement.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I will admit a certain amount of frustration sometimes when I think about the fact that I’m taking their hand to save them discomfort but they are not affording me the same courtesy by seeing if I reach for THEM before attempting to grasp my hand.

But… it’s not harassment. It’s well meaning people doing what they feel is proper and loving.

Right. I’d like to think, though, that if I (sweetly and smilingly) whispered to them, “I have arthritis and when my hand is held, especially when people do the ‘touchdown Jesus’ move’ at the end of the prayer, it really is painful and the pain can last for days”, that they would not only smile back and simply nod at me, but that ever after when the ‘sign of peace’ came and they saw a ‘new’ person in the pew, they would hold their hand out SLIGHTLY, and if the person picked up their hand, fine, but if the person did NOT, instead of stewing, "what an antisocial clod’ they would think, “oh, he may have arthritis like that other lady”; they would nod, and smile, and instead of having two ‘camps’ of ‘hold’ and ‘not hold’, we would have ONE camp of “Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

 

[Moore11]

But… it’s not harassment. It’s well meaning people doing what they feel is proper and loving.

LOL just go ahead and grab the next girls hand you see in the supermarket line with her husband and see what happens!
Go ahead, and let me know what hospital you are staying in so I can send flowers.

 

[ProVobis]

LOL just go ahead and grab the next girls hand you see in the supermarket line with her husband and see what happens!
Go ahead, and let me know what hospital you are staying in so I can send flowers.

Ten points!

 

[Diana_Catherine]

My family holds hands and prays together. I don’t see why this is a big deal.
If families want to hold hands so be it. I’m not really big on the whole parish having to hold hands. Personally I think there are bigger problems to focus on in the church. Like politicains receviving communion when they support abortion, same sex marriage and birth control. Just my opinion.

I agree that those are definitely more important issues.

As far as hand holding, it’s probably not a big deal unless those that hold hands make those that don’t want to hold hands feel uncomfortable during mass by trying to get them to hold hands also when it is not what they want to do and there are always those that feel they need to get a whole pew involved, whether they know them or not and whether the other people want to or not. It can be quite a disruption during a very important part of mass.

 

[nickybr38]

LOL just go ahead and grab the next girls hand you see in the supermarket line with her husband and see what happens!
Go ahead, and let me know what hospital you are staying in so I can send flowers.

In the context of the Mass this just isn’t harassment. Outside of it… yeah, sure, grabbing strangers is unacceptable social behavior.

 

[Rockie01]

I’m glad to see that many people do as I do and hold their hands in prayer and close their eyes to avoid participating in the chain of hand holding. One thing though, I have whispered to people that I have arthritis, and some respond well and others don’t. So, it’s a hit and miss. I do believe that it should be addressed at RCIA and CCD, without people getting upset about it. I’m ready for a new topic.

 

[Moore11]

In the context of the Mass this just isn’t harassment. Outside of it… yeah, sure, grabbing strangers is unacceptable social behavior.

Quote Provobis

Except that one becomes much more focused on his neighbor than God. You make a lot of people very uncomfortable too by forcing them into it. That’s invasion of space, IMO.** In fact outside of church, it’s grounds for harassment.
**

 

[elfsniper]

Y’all May not know this but, every time the troops go out on Convoy duty in Iraq and still in Afghanistan , Hold hands and some take a Knee and say the" Our Father " Maybe the closer You are to death The more Real you Faith becomes.

 

[Moore11]

Y’all May not know this but, every time the troops go out on Convoy duty in Iraq and still in Afghanistan , Hold hands and some take a Knee and say the" Our Father " Maybe the closer You are to death The more Real you Faith becomes.

Of course, even on the football field that is common. We are talking about the sacrifice of the Mass though. Governed by a completely different kind of rules and “realness” as in the Real Presence which believe it or not is actually MORE serious than mere death.