holding hands during the Our Father?

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Just an interesting fact in the Chaldean Church when we have the sign of peace. The priest takes the peace from heaven through the altar, gives it to the decon, then the decon says something to the people and then tranfers the peace to the altar servers which in turn go down the pews to the first persons on each side and then it get transmitted down till it meets in the middle. The way you make the sign of peace is similar to putting your hands in a prayer position then you stagger hands with the next person and continue down.
Yeah, they do the same at the Maronite Church…I love it. I also like their version of:
“Lift up your hearts…”

I can’t remember exactly what words they use but it struck me at the time as a much better translation then at my NO Parish.
 
Many at my parish do hold hands during the prayer and then raise them at the end. I don’t - I just fold my hands and close my eyes while we pray. It definitely helps me focus more on the prayer. People are usually pretty respectful of that.
Thank you for the great idea! Growing up, my old church never had us holding hands. The church I’m at now does the hand-holding and after ten years with this church I still don’t feel comfortable doing it.

Did I hear right? The second Vatican does NOT condone this hand-holding? I need to discuss this with my priest right away. 😉

Thinking about it, our priest is a pretty liberal kind of guy and most of his family members are actually Protestant members. Maybe that explains the hand-holding at this church.
 
I’ll take this a bit off topic…

First, I don’t mind the holding hands if it’s done naturally and immediately. I don’t like it when the Our Father starts, and people are in the process of finding hands to hold, walking across and aisle to join hands with someone, basically making a fuss. I think a priest ought to wait for everyone to get in hand holding formation before starting the Our Father. Kind of like how the Eucharistic Prayer ought not being until the kneelers stop crashing on the floor.
This is the scenario at my church as well. Sometimes these customs just seem to get in the way of actual prayer.
 
This actually isn’t part of the mass, since there is no official direction to hold hands then. It is just something some people do during the mass. So obviously there is no requirement to hold hands then. I don’t really see harm in it when people do hold hands, though in fact it can be troubling to those who find it a bit offensive. In fact a few of the bishops during a recent U.S. bishop’s conference objected that there are people who stay away from mass because of it. But I think this problem would be taken care of if it was well known that there is no compulsion in the matteer.
I am one of those who get flustered by the hand-holding. I’m worried that my hands are too sweaty, that I’ll squeeze the person’s had too tightly, or that I’ll get sick from someone who’s recently sneezed in their hand. I know this is my weird problem. But it does keep me from mass during Our Father sometimes. If I know that I’ll have to hold hands with a stranger, then I excuse myself from mass during that time.
 
Thank you for the great idea! Growing up, my old church never had us holding hands. The church I’m at now does the hand-holding and after ten years with this church I still don’t feel comfortable doing it.

Did I hear right? The second Vatican does NOT condone this hand-holding? I need to discuss this with my priest right away. 😉

Thinking about it, our priest is a pretty liberal kind of guy and most of his family members are actually Protestant members. Maybe that explains the hand-holding at this church.
The Vatican does not condone a PRIEST initiating the hand holding during the Lord’s Prayer…the Vatican does condone hand holding as a private devotion during the Lord’s Prayer.
 
I am one of those who get flustered by the hand-holding. I’m worried that my hands are too sweaty, that I’ll squeeze the person’s had too tightly, or that I’ll get sick from someone who’s recently sneezed in their hand. I know this is my weird problem. But it does keep me from mass during Our Father sometimes. If I know that I’ll have to hold hands with a stranger, then I excuse myself from mass during that time.
It’s not a weird problem. You are not required to do it if you don’t feel comfortable or do not feel that you need it to enhance your spiritual experience. We don’t hold hands during the Our Father during mass, so I don’t have to worry about it. Don’t miss mass because of it, though. You can fold your hands intently, bow your head and close your eyes while you are saying the Our Father if you think people are going to try to hold your hand. During the Sign of Peace, which I don’t mind doing usually, I get a little grossed out when I see the person next to me or in front of me throughout the mass, wiping his/her nose with the hand or sneezing/coughing into it then wiping it on their clothes. Since I make most of my living singing, I can’t afford to get a cold that will put me out of work, which happened this past year. I missed a wedding, a mass and an audition. When I have a cold, I just tell people I have a cold and wish them peace from afar. If I see someone else has a cold and were doing the things I mentioned above, I just do like one of my friends. I kneel and pray for myself and everyone there at mass.
 
Sarabande’s advice is great. I do the same thing. It works. Just reverently fold your hands in prayer during the Our Father, bowing your head and closing your eyes. They will leave you alone. For the sign of peace, I simply shake the hand of the person on each side of me (if there are folks there) and then smile and nod to others across the way or behind and in front.

A few times of doing this and all the angst will pass. They may think you’re weird, but what do you care. Be weird for Jesus! (is that a new bumper sticker?) 🤷
 
Sarabande’s advice is great. I do the same thing. It works. Just reverently fold your hands in prayer during the Our Father, bowing your head and closing your eyes. They will leave you alone. For the sign of peace, I simply shake the hand of the person on each side of me (if there are folks there) and then smile and nod to others across the way or behind and in front.

A few times of doing this and all the angst will pass. They may think you’re weird, but what do you care. Be weird for Jesus! (is that a new bumper sticker?) 🤷
This is what I do. Also, for the sign of peace, my First Communion teacher told us many years ago to think of it like making a cross - the person in front of you, the person behind you, and on each side of you (if there’s even time for all that) and that’s it! We were specifically taught not to carry it on forever, wandering all over the church…Don’t get me wrong, I will nod and smile to acknowledge others farther away if they are attempting to make the connection, but once the Agnus Dei begins my hands are folded, head bowed, eyes closed and I’m back to prayer.
 
We used to live in a community where the Catholic church was very conservative and reserved. We would often turn to give the sign of peace and find the person behind us with their arms folded, glaring at us and refusing to shake hands. That was a bit hard to explain to our little children!

So it was with great joy that when we moved to a new community we found our new Catholic church was full of friendly smiling people and most of them joined hands at the “Our Father”. Ever since our family has always done this within our family and with the people next to us if they initiate it or appear to be inviting us to hold their hands. We find it a wonderful way to join in with all of our brothers and sisters as we raise our voices in prayer to Our Father. And it always made us feel very welcome and part of the community. Most everyone in our church does this and we love it, but we completely respect and understand if someone does not want to do it.

We also hold hands around the supper table when we pray at meals. The sense of unity and communion it brings is very powerful and has always made an impression on our children.
 
There is something I don’t understand. There are those who state that the GIRM specifies the movements and postures of the priest and laity and by default nothing else is allowed. That doesn’t make sense because the GIRM (apart from not saying you can hold hands) does not say you can fold your hands, or clasp them or put them down by your side so by definition these postures are also not allowed. I think a bit of common sense has to be used. Holding hands is no more or less reverent than these other postures.
 
There is something I don’t understand. There are those who state that the GIRM specifies the movements and postures of the priest and laity and by default nothing else is allowed. That doesn’t make sense because the GIRM (apart from not saying you can hold hands) does not say you can fold your hands, or clasp them or put them down by your side so by definition these postures are also not allowed. I think a bit of common sense has to be used. Holding hands is no more or less reverent than these other postures.

When the GIRM is silent—we fall back to what we traditionally held. Traditionally—we clasped our hands together in prayer.
 
There is something That doesn’t make sense because the GIRM (apart from not saying you can hold hands) does not say you can fold your hands, or clasp them or put them down by your side so by definition these postures are also not allowed. I think a bit of common sense has to be used. Holding hands is no more or less reverent than these other postures.
Folding one’s hands in prayer is a form of private devotion. Extending one’s hands across the pew is an invasive and intrusive action which seems to demand a response.

I agree that keeping one’s hands folded in prayer and one’s head down is helpful, but I have also had many experiences of folks disregarding my posture and stubbornly extending hands across the pew. It is terribly uncomfortable and betrays what the advocates of this innovation claim is it’s purpose. It does not foster community (which is unnecessary anyway) if the one you are attempting to “commune” with is not interested. I also think it’s a sad commentary on the current state of the liturgy that we have to contrive a posture of folding our hands and *keeping our heads down *in order to preserve our private prayer to God.
 
Folding one’s hands in prayer is a form of private devotion. Extending one’s hands across the pew is an invasive and intrusive action which seems to demand a response.

I agree that keeping one’s hands folded in prayer and one’s head down is helpful, but I have also had many experiences of folks disregarding my posture and stubbornly extending hands across the pew. It is terribly uncomfortable and betrays what the advocates of this innovation claim is it’s purpose. It does not foster community (which is unnecessary anyway) if the one you are attempting to “commune” with is not interested. I also think it’s a sad commentary on the current state of the liturgy that we have to contrive a posture of folding our hands and *keeping our heads down *in order to preserve our private prayer to God.
I have had a few persistant people, one lady who even attempted to put her hand over my hands. I do not clasp my hands, I use the traditional (or so I was taught) palm to plam posture so this young lady was quite perplexed when I remained with my eyes closed and my palms pressed together. After Mass she asked why I did that and I was able to have a nice little teaching moment. I also explained to her how the prayer isn’t over until the “great Amen” which comes just before the deacon exhorts us to share the sign of peace. Almost everyone in my Parish (those who hold hands) drop their hands after the “For thine…” even though the prayer is not over.
 
Folding one’s hands in prayer is a form of private devotion. Extending one’s hands across the pew is an invasive and intrusive action which seems to demand a response.

I agree that keeping one’s hands folded in prayer and one’s head down is helpful, but I have also had many experiences of folks disregarding my posture and stubbornly extending hands across the pew. It is terribly uncomfortable and betrays what the advocates of this innovation claim is it’s purpose. It does not foster community (which is unnecessary anyway) if the one you are attempting to “commune” with is not interested. I also think it’s a sad commentary on the current state of the liturgy that we have to contrive a posture of folding our hands and *keeping our heads down *in order to preserve our private prayer to God.
The Our Father is not a private individual prayer. It starts OUR Father and not My Father. It is a community prayer. We attend Mass not as individuals shut off from the rest of the people there. Remember when we receive the Eucharist we are not only united with Christ but with all who receive him at the Mass.
 
The Our Father is not a private individual prayer. It starts OUR Father and not My Father. It is a community prayer. We attend Mass not as individuals shut off from the rest of the people there. Remember when we receive the Eucharist we are not only united with Christ but with all who receive him at the Mass.
It’s true that we are praying this together, but those who do find something special in holding hands should not make someone who does not find it necessary feel uncomfortable and vice versa. No one is obligated to hold hands or not hold hands. They should respect a person’s way of prayer to God. If a person obviously does not want to hold hands, then the other people should just leave that person alone. If I visit a church that does the hand-holding thing, I’m not going to try to break up their chain and make them clasp their own hands. And I also wouldn’t want them to break my clasped hands apart and force me to hold their hands. I can feel united with the others during the mass without holding their hands.
 
It’s true that we are praying this together, but those who do find something special in holding hands should not make someone who does not find it necessary feel uncomfortable and vice versa. No one is obligated to hold hands or not hold hands. They should respect a person’s way of prayer to God. If a person obviously does not want to hold hands, then the other people should just leave that person alone. If I visit a church that does the hand-holding thing, I’m not going to try to break up their chain and make them clasp their own hands. And I also wouldn’t want them to break my clasped hands apart and force me to hold their hands. I can feel united with the others during the mass without holding their hands.
I’m not advocating holding hands. People are free to hold hands or not. It is not mandatory and nobody should feel obliged to do it. I was simply pointing out that we attend Mass as members of the Church which make up the Body of Christ. We are a community and not private individuals standing in Church in isolation or insulated from each other.
 
The Our Father is not a private individual prayer. It starts OUR Father and not My Father. It is a community prayer. We attend Mass not as individuals shut off from the rest of the people there. Remember when we receive the Eucharist we are not only united with Christ but with all who receive him at the Mass.
Believe me, I understand about the “community”. In my part of the world, the Catholic “community” aspect of worship is over emphasized. However, I did not mean to imply that one should consider oneself “shut off” from the Body of Christ. During Communion, we visibly express and participate in this community by each receiving the Body of Christ. In addition, our community is expressed through the Kiss of Peace. The liturgy itself provides ample opportunity for this aspect to be revealed. According to your logic, ALL the prayers of the Liturgy are “community” prayers so why don’t we hold hands during the Gloria or the Agnus Dei?
When we were in grade school, the nuns would explain this business about how to hold your thumbs by repeating the saying of the New Testament: "mercy over justice" - which is a very fine spiritual interpretation of a simple gesture.
When we enter into ourselves and the soul is alone with God, our hands closely interlock, finger clasped in finger, in a gesture of compression and control.
So this way of holding your hands can be a sign of intimate and personal prayer to God.
So the same gesture can mean intensity and fervor of personal prayer. But in the liturgy, the gesture is different. Guardini says: "But when we stand in God’s presence in heart-felt reverence and humility, the open hands are laid together palm against palm in sign of steadfast subjection and obedient homage, as if to say that the words we ourselves would speak are in good order, and that we are ready and attentive to hear the words of God".
If your hands are folded properly in prayer, the external posture will have a positive influence on the interior man as well, and you will be led to a profound attitude of prayer.
ewtn.com/library/Liturgy/SIGNS.HTM
 
Has Pope Benedict XVI ever been asked about holding hands during the Our Father in his entire life?

Is there any chance that someone who has read about it here at this forum might ask him about it?

Would Pope Benedict XVI care enough about the question to do anything about it?
 
It is true that there is no prescribed posture for the hands during the Our Father and that, so far at least, neither the Holy See nor the U.S. bishops’ conference has officially addressed it.

The argument from silence is not very strong, however, because while there is no particular difficulty in a couple, family or a small group spontaneously holding hands during the Our Father, a problem arises when the entire assembly is expected or obliged to do so.

The process for introducing any new rite or gesture into the liturgy in a stable or even binding manner is already contemplated in liturgical law. This process entails a two-thirds majority vote in the bishops’ conference and the go-ahead from the Holy See before any change may take effect.

**Thus, if neither the bishops’ conference nor the Holy See has seen fit to prescribe any posture for the recitation of the Our Father, it hardly behooves any lesser authority to impose a novel gesture not required by liturgical law and expect the faithful to follow their decrees. **

While there are no directions as to the posture of the faithful, the rubrics clearly direct the priest and any concelebrants to pray the Our Father with hands extended — so they at least should not hold hands.

**One could argue that holding hands expresses the family union of the Church. But our singing or reciting the prayer in unison already expresses this element. **

The act of holding hands usually emphasizes group or personal unity from the human or physical point of view and is thus more typical of the spontaneity of small groups. **Hence it does not always transfer well into the context of larger gatherings where some people feel uncomfortable and a bit imposed upon when doing so. **

The use of this practice during the Our Father could detract and distract from the prayer’s God-directed sense of adoration and petition, as explained in Nos. 2777-2865 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, in favor of a more horizontal and merely human meaning.

For all of these reasons, no one should have any qualms about not participating in this gesture if disinclined to do so. They will be simply following the universal customs of the Church, and should not be accused of being a cause of disharmony.

A different case is the practice in which some people adopt the “orantes” posture during the Our Father, praying like the priest, with hands extended.

In some countries, Italy, for example, the Holy See has granted the bishops’ request to allow anyone who wishes to adopt this posture during the Our Father. Usually about a third to one-half of the assembled faithful choose to do so.

Despite appearances, this gesture is not, strictly speaking, a case of the laity trying to usurp priestly functions.

The Our Father is the prayer of the entire assembly and not a priestly or presidential prayer. In fact, it is perhaps the only case when the rubrics direct the priest to pray with arms extended in a prayer that he does not say alone or only with other priests. Therefore, in the case of the Our Father, the orantes posture expresses the prayer directed to God by his children.

The U.S. bishops’ conference debated a proposal by some bishops to allow the use of the orantes posture while discussing the “American Adaptations to the General Instruction to the Roman Missal” last year. Some bishops even argued that it was the best way of ridding the country of holding hands. The proposal failed to garner the required two-thirds majority of votes, however, and was dropped from the agenda. ZE03111822
ewtn.com/library/Liturgy/zlitur10.htm
 
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