Holding Hands During the Our Father

[KatieD]

I generally don’t hold hands during The Lord’s Prayer. However, we have one priest who instructs us to “join hands” when we pray. I thought that while the rubrics didn’t instruct us either way on this, the priest is not to instruct us to hold hands.

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

…When my Dad is with the altar servers, he tells them not to hold hands when they are at the altar. He tells them that they need to set the example. He also tells them not to mimic the gestures of the priest because there are certain things that only the priest can do.

Hi,

These two statements need to be clarified. It is his personal opinion about the altar servers holding hands, and this should not be instructed as official, unless the Pastor has told him to do so.

And if handholding is the posture mimiced, this is certainly not a posture reserved for the priest, so this is not a valid reason to speak against it.

I do not have a strong opinion on hand-holding either way, but since my Pastor does suggest it (I am not going to argue the validity of this suggestion, since it is not a serious liturgical abuse), I usually go along with it, if the person next to me has no objection.

Hand-holding is very common in Charismatic groups, and also in AA, where many groups close with the Lord’s Prayer while holding hands.

What is wrong, is either side attempting to force their opinion on someone else, since the Church has not given an offical statement. Posture of the laity is not covered in the rubrics, so it is not forbidden any more than making the sign of the cross or praying the rosary during Mass. It is fine to refrain from holding hands, or to offer your hand to the person next to you, but really out of line to grab someone, or tell someone not to hold hands with others (even the altar servers )

As for your own children, that is a tough one, especially if they want to hold hands. If I really objected, I would try to find a Mass where it was not in the majority, but if that isn’t possible, I think I would just say that although it isn’t really wrong, I prefer the folded hands posture, and ask the kids if this would be difficult for them. I don’t think this is a good time to exercise parental authority, and make it a strict instruction, but that is up to you.

It is really sad that this has become such an issue for Catholics. I hope it will soon drop to less importance, but it is hard when so many find it a distraction if offered, or a sign of rejection if refused.

Lux

 

[tcraig]

… and we don’t have to turn off our “this is creepy” monitors to do it.

 

[anamchara]

I have a situation that I need some advice on. At my parish almost everyone holds hands during the Our Father. I prefer not to and will typically keep my hands folded when I can. The problem is that I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old who see what everyone else is doing and they imitate them.

I couldn’t resist coming into this thread. I am amazed that this topic comes up as often as it does. I honestly don’t feel holding hands in anyway takes away from our focus on any part of the Mass. My three children have been holding hands since we joined the Catholic Church and they understand the Mass and know where our hearts and minds need to be during Mass.
I feel you need to teach your children to be kind to others and hold hands if your parish is holding hands, instead you are teaching them to stand out. I’m sorry to say that but it’s true. We have a family at our parish who does this and not only do they stand out but they come across as off putting. They are not teaching anyone anything. I feel so bad for the kids because they look around every single Sunday during the Lords Prayer obviously wanting to hold hands.

I understand what your talking about but please just let them hold hands if they want and let it go. Their are bigger things to worry about as they get older.

 

[whatevergirl]

Incidentally, that’s the point that Bishop Elliot was making. Furthermore, I find it somewhat disconcerting that while I’m folding my hands and have my eyes closed, someone next to me pretty much manhandles me into holding hands. I try to sit at the far corner and someone still goes all the way to my seat and tries to grab my hand. It’s happened to me on several occasions. I try to be as charitable as I can, but, they don’t seem to get it.

One lady got angry at me and reported me to the priest when I told her that hand-holding during the Our Father was not even a posture nor was it mandatory. She was rather upset and refused to listen to me. I told my PV and he wound up preaching about it in a homily and told people not to force their pewmates to hold hands if they opt out.

That is so wild that you have experienced that! ha I shouldn’t laugh:blush: but I haven’t had anyone that forceful next to me do that…but I have seen people give the ‘eye’ to someone standing next to them, as if to say…‘hey, what’s wrong with you? hold my hand already.’ I like that term–pewmates. hee hee
Well…you are not wrong in feeling the way you do. I also think it’s natural that your kids would just want to mimic others. I don’t see anything ‘wrong’ with holding hands…but if you choose not to, others should be mindful of that! Sheesh!!

 

[whatevergirl]

I couldn’t resist coming into this thread. I am amazed that this topic comes up as often as it does. I honestly don’t feel holding hands in anyway takes away from our focus on any part of the Mass. My three children have been holding hands since we joined the Catholic Church and they understand the Mass and know where our hearts and minds need to be during Mass.
I feel you need to teach your children to be kind to others and hold hands if your parish is holding hands, instead you are teaching them to stand out. I’m sorry to say that but it’s true. We have a family at our parish who does this and not only do they stand out but they come across as off putting. They are not teaching anyone anything. I feel so bad for the kids because they look around every single Sunday during the Lords Prayer obviously wanting to hold hands.

I understand what your talking about but please just let them hold hands if they want and let it go. Their are bigger things to worry about as they get older.

No, I agree…it does NOT take away the reverence of the prayer…but, people should feel free to do what they’re comfortable with, without feeling like the odd man/woman out.

 

[MomaMary8]

From what I understood when it first started (in the early 90’s where we lived) that it was a protestant tradition. Holding hands was to foster “communion” of the people, helping to get us “closer” to one another. We were told there was no need to do this as we have the Eucharist, which has the best Communion we could hope for! It is frowned upon when people mistake holding hands as the way to join as one community, when we have the Sacrafice of the Mass to do that for us, joing as one with Jesus Christ. In and of itself, it is not evil, but just a poor imitation of what we are about to receive.

I think teaching your kids about the common misconceptions many have is a good thing! It will help them strive for True teachings and not just accept what the majority does.

Blessings to you!

Mary

 

[DJgang]

My family is rarely all together at Mass. But when we are, we don’t hold hands.

At my Parish, there is more than holding hands going on…people are raising their hands about shoulder height, palms facing up and praying, sometimes holding hands, sometimes not…and at the part the kingdom and glory my…their hands go way in the air, above their heads.

I sometimes feel like I’m in a Pentecostal church, seriously…

I would probably hold hands with my family, but holding hands with others…I don’t care for that. I’m not a touchy feely person and therefore I’m really not going to be touchy feely with a stranger. Sorry.

Remember there is about a 2 or 3ft space around a person, called my personal space and some people can’t handle it…people should never force someone to hold their hands or even offer their hand to someone outside of their family…just my opinion.

 

[anamchara]

No, I agree…it does NOT take away the reverence of the prayer…but, people should feel free to do what they’re comfortable with, without feeling like the odd man/woman out.

Point taken I agree, people should feel free to do whatever they feel comfortable with. As long as they are not getting caught up in the sin of pride and seriously drawing attention to themselves.

 

[anamchara]

From what I understood when it first started (in the early 90’s where we lived) that it was a protestant tradition. Holding hands was to foster “communion” of the people, helping to get us “closer” to one another. We were told there was no need to do this as we have the Eucharist, which has the best Communion we could hope for! It is frowned upon when people mistake holding hands as the way to join as one community, when we have the Sacrafice of the Mass to do that for us, joing as one with Jesus Christ. In and of itself, it is not evil, but just a poor imitation of what we are about to receive.

I think teaching your kids about the common misconceptions many have is a good thing! It will help them strive for True teachings and not just accept what the majority does.

Blessings to you!

Mary

I grew up Protestant, we never held hands. It wasn’t until I visited the Catholic Church that I held hands.

What common misconceptions do you assume people have?
And what true teachings are you talking about?

Furthermore, we must recognize that not all human beings process information in the same manner. While intellectual knowledge of joining “together as one community” through the Eucharist is sufficient for some people, others, particularly children, would greatly benefit from the (literally) tangible experience of holding hands. Naturally, this hand holding in no way precludes nor diminishes the unity found in the Eucharist. To imply otherwise is to dimish those who find value in the hand-holding simply because they process information differently from yourself.

 

[jmdsc]

According to THIS ROCK, holding hands during the Our Father is a liturgical abuse:

http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/1999/9901fea1.asp

1. Holding hands during the Our Father.

This is oddly widespread in the United States but it’s an illicit addition to the liturgy. The official publication of the Sacred Congregation for the Sacrament sand Divine Worship, Notitiae (11 [1975] 226), states the practice “must be repudiated . . . it is a liturgical gesture introduced spontaneously but on a personal initiative; it is not in the rubrics.” And anything not in the rubrics is unlawful, again because “no other person . . . may add . . . anything [to] the liturgy on his own authority” (ibid).

Notitiae (17 [1981] 186)) also reaffirms that the priest may never invite the congregation to stand around the altar and hold hands during the Consecration. He stays in the sanctuary and we stay outside of it.

 

[Sabda]

I grew up Protestant, we never held hands. It wasn’t until I visited the Catholic Church that I held hands.

What common misconceptions do you assume people have?
And what true teachings are you talking about?

You don’t say when you converted.

I’m a cradle Catholic and this was never a part of the Mass when I was growing up. We went to several different parish’s during my growing up years and this was not found in any of them. It was not until my late teens/early twenties (early to mid 1990s) that hand holding starting showing up in the Mass. For me hand holding takes my focus off of God and puts it on the people around me. That’s wrong. My focus should be 110% on God. Honestly, if someone wants to hold hands with their family than that should be fine but I don’t think you should be holding hands with the people around you who are not family.

I really wish they would come out and make an official statment on this so we can close this subject and move on.

 

[anamchara]

According to THIS ROCK, holding hands during the Our Father is a liturgical abuse:

http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/1999/9901fea1.asp

1. Holding hands during the Our Father.

This is oddly widespread in the United States but it’s an illicit addition to the liturgy. The official publication of the Sacred Congregation for the Sacrament sand Divine Worship, Notitiae (11 [1975] 226), states the practice “must be repudiated . . . it is a liturgical gesture introduced spontaneously but on a personal initiative; it is not in the rubrics.” And anything not in the rubrics is unlawful, again because “no other person . . . may add . . . anything [to] the liturgy on his own authority” (ibid).

Notitiae (17 [1981] 186)) also reaffirms that the priest may never invite the congregation to stand around the altar and hold hands during the Consecration. He stays in the sanctuary and we stay outside of it.

EWTN nor “This rock” is not Church authority. Sorry. Your link brings me to Catholic Answers:
"THE TEN MOST COMMON LITURGICAL ABUSES And WhyThey’re Wrong By Kevin Orlin Johnson " I feel it’s best to read straight from the Magisterium not some lay persons interpretation. I see that he is has a PhD, a learned man indeed but not Church authority.

The thing is, I went to your link and could not find Kevin Johnson’s source that he quoted.

I did find this:

usccb.org/liturgy/current/chapter2.shtml#sect2
A common posture, to be observed by all participants, is a sign of the unity of the members of the Christian community gathered for the Sacred Liturgy: it both expresses and fosters the intention and spiritual attitude of the participants.
With a view to a uniformity in gestures and postures during one and the same celebration, the faithful should follow the directions which the deacon, lay minister, or priest gives according to whatever is indicated in the Missal.

I personally feel if our Bishop thought all our parishes were abusing the litgurgy by holding hands he would have us stop. I find him to be an orthodox Bishop.

 

[anamchara]

You don’t say when you converted.

 

[catholic79]

I don’t mind the hand holding, my DH hates it. He will hold my hand or if we go to mass with my family he will hold my younger brothers hand (as this brother always makes sure he gets to sit next to his brother-in-law J)

We don’t have kids but I am sure when we do they will know that they don’t have to hold hands.

At the parish we went to last night the priest told ever one to join hands and sing the Our Father which was fine until we got to

"For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.” I have no idea what was said next but there were at least 10 or so additional words added. I have never heard additional words added to the Our Father.


Mary

 

[pnewton]

I am all for following the rubrics, but I would like to clarify that the “Our Father” is a vertical and horizontal prayer. That is why the plural is used throughout the prayer. It is communal in nature. Not that hand holding makes us more of a community. Gathering for Mass is what makes us a community.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

At my parish, we hold hands during the Lords Prayer. I guess it makes us feel like a community of friends rather than a community of strangers. I won’t refuse a hand that is held out to me in friendship. Its so common in my parish, its not really a distraction at all, but it is as natural as standing and kneeling at the appropriate times. We have a very small parish, and perhaps that makes it more acceptable by all.

Jim

 

[whatevergirl]

Point taken I agree, people should feel free to do whatever they feel comfortable with. As long as they are not getting caught up in the sin of pride and seriously drawing attention to themselves.

Yes, agreed. I have never seen someone that persistent…that kind of makes me laugh…I have visions of someone tugging at someone’s sleeve…pulling their arm over…clutching their clenched fist. haha

 

[ncjohn]

According to THIS ROCK, holding hands during the Our Father is a liturgical abuse:

http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/1999/9901fea1.asp

1. Holding hands during the Our Father.

This is oddly widespread in the United States but it’s an illicit addition to the liturgy. The official publication of the Sacred Congregation for the Sacrament sand Divine Worship, Notitiae (11 [1975] 226), states the practice “must be repudiated . . . it is a liturgical gesture introduced spontaneously but on a personal initiative; it is not in the rubrics.” And anything not in the rubrics is unlawful, again because “no other person . . . may add . . . anything [to] the liturgy on his own authority” (ibid).

Notitiae (17 [1981] 186)) also reaffirms that the priest may never invite the congregation to stand around the altar and hold hands during the Consecration. He stays in the sanctuary and we stay outside of it.

As a point of clarification, 11 Noticiae 1975 repudiates subtstituting holding hands during the Our Father for the sign of peace. It specifically does NOT repudiate holding hands during the Our Father.

As to the “anything not in the rubrics is unlawful”, we would then have to have our hands removed since there is NOTHING in the rubrics as to what to do with them during the Our Father. There are many, many things that are not in the rubrics and the overwhelming majority of them are not unlawful. The rubrics address hand posture in the laity only in a couple limited places (such as the beating of the breast and the sign of the cross) and nowhere at all does it give a “position” for the hands of the laity.

Spontaneous actions of the faithful are not addressed by the rubrics, though the statement that the priest is not allowed to invite people to hold hands around the altar (or any other time for that matter) is correct as that would be a directed action and not one of personal initiative.

Peace,

 

[St_Aloysius]

At my old Baptist church, we all joined hands at the end of the service to sing a final hymn. I used to attend Sunday school with a friend and would end up sitting with his family in the balcony for the service, and I must say I was always overtaken by the beauty of the gesture from the bird’s eye view.

Now, I know the Liturgy is about God and not us–but I can’t help but think that some are trying to emphasize this SO much that they completely neglect community in doing so. It is DEFINITELY a symbol of community–of family, which is, after all, what the Church is–and to say, “Well, we have the Eucharist and it’s better, so there!” really isn’t fair… The Eucharist is our true Communion, of course, but if we don’t act like it, it can become hard for some of us to believe after a while and the “community” begins to feel cold. Holding hands is a simple gesture that both signifies and makes us more aware of our unity.

Besides all this, there is no specified posture for the Our Father past standing. Most choose to lift their hands to the orans position, but this is not prescribed, though I think it a lovely gesture as well. Some go further and hold hands. Whichever you choose, I think so long as it raises your hearts and minds to Heaven, where Our Father resides, then each is acceptable.

Till Rome declareth otherwise, so it will be.