Holding Hands & the Our Father

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Diana_Catherine said:
I can certainly understand your concern but this is something you should think about when you see these questions appear, especially if you are concerned about being a friendly Catholic. The world is a very large place and people are coming into the Catholic church everyday and many want to go somewhere for answers so they come to the Catholic Answers forum and ask a question. Sometimes it is a very familiar question to us that has been asked many times but maybe to the person asking it, who may be a new Catholic and is just starting out trying to learn what is right and what to do or not to do it is a new subject and to some it may be a very exciting new topic. The list from gracepoole should be encouraging. It tells us people are interested in learning how to properly attend Mass and be the best Catholics they can be.

So, I guess what I am saying is we need to be friendly and kind and answer the new people their questions and help them find their way in the Catholic faith. As we evangelize and help bring people into the faith we can’t get frustrated with their questions.

God bless. 🙂
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Oh, I can see what you are saying. The questions are not the problem, although this subject is mostly broached by people in the Church who “heard” that holding hands is a “liturgical abuse”. after doing it for a number of years. Then they come to the forums, see other posts, get confused, and post questions. The problem is that they are not getting the answers they should get. They are getting OPINIONS, and those opinions are often condescending toward others and incorrect. That is why I said we spend too much time thinking up ways to avoid contact with others, and then posting them. I actually did read one poster who said that a person should try pretending to sneeze in their hands so that no one would want to shake hands with them during the sign of peace. There were a number of positive responses to that. And that is not an isolated piece of advice. I gave others. Is that what we want new people and visitors to read? How to avoid contact with others.

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I have said all I have to say. I have considered things, and I am not changing my mind. We need to reach out to people, not try to avoid them, and when someone asks a question, give them the correct answer, not your opinion.
 
CB_Catholic said:
Oh, I can see what you are saying. The questions are not the problem, although this subject is mostly broached by people in the Church who “heard” that holding hands is a “liturgical abuse”. after doing it for a number of years. Then they come to the forums, see other posts, get confused, and post questions. The problem is that they are not getting the answers they should get. They are getting OPINIONS, and those opinions are often condescending toward others and incorrect. That is why I said we spend too much time thinking up ways to avoid contact with others, and then posting them. I actually did read one poster who said that a person should try pretending to sneeze in their hands so that no one would want to shake hands with them during the sign of peace. There were a number of positive responses to that. And that is not an isolated piece of advice. I gave others. Is that what we want new people and visitors to read? How to avoid contact with others.

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I have said all I have to say. I have considered things, and I am not changing my mind. We need to reach out to people, not try to avoid them, and when someone asks a question, give them the correct answer, not your opinion.
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I totally agree about reaching out to people. I remember the crude comment from the other thread.

Everyone has different ways of reaching out. It is not for us to see ones heart.

I just hope we can come to respect in each other I this sensitive topic and not give new people the wrong impression either way.
 
CB_Catholic said:
There isn’t one.

Catholics spend a lot of time discussing ways to avoid touching each other on these forums I have noticed. :rolleyes:
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So, based on bben’s links, isn’t ANY posture that is not prescribed in the GIRM an “abuse”? Therefore, we are all committing a “liturgical abuse” during the Lord’s Prayer, according to bben’s links, simply because we have a posture during the Lord’s Prayer?

This line of reasoning is a bit silly, no?

Peace

Tim
 
ProVobis said:
Say what you want but physical contact outside the proscribed handshake of peace is an invasion of space. I’ve worked with people who’ve physically contacted me. Sometimes friendly, sometimes not. If you welcome it, fine. If not, then that’s your right too. People have sued for a lot less. That’s why a lot of companies have classes on harassment.
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Nobody at Mass is harassing you. They are loving you. They are offering you their hand to hold. It is a great privilege for someone to offer you a part of their body for a brief moment.

-Tim-
 
TimothyH said:
Nobody at Mass is harassing you. They are loving you. They are offering you their hand to hold. **It is a great privilege for someone to offer you a part of their body for a brief moment. **

-Tim-
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Depends on your point of view. Grace comes to us in many unforeseen ways.
 
There is a man named Jean Vanier. I’m sure few have heard of him but this man will one day become a canonized saint.

Those who have been granted enough patience to sit through a 1.5 hour interview as they would a 1.5 hour movie or concert might find this man interesting, if not inspiring. He speaks of touching another as a way to affirm that the other is valuable and beautiful.

The Wisdom of Tenderness

I’m really frustrated right now because of some things outside of CAF and will bow out of this thread before I say something sarcastic. I really hope that anyone who reads this will watch the interview and even if it is for a brief moment, learn a little about this great man.

-Tim-
 
TimothyH said:
There is a man named Jean Vanier. I’m sure few have heard of him but this man will one day become a canonized saint.

Those who have been granted enough patience to sit through a 1.5 hour interview as they would a 1.5 hour movie or concert might find this man interesting, if not inspiring. He speaks of touching another as a way to affirm that the other is valuable and beautiful.

The Wisdom of Tenderness

I’m really frustrated right now because of some things outside of CAF and will bow out of this thread before I say something sarcastic. I really hope that anyone who reads this will watch the interview and even if it is for a brief moment, learn a little about this great man.

-Tim-
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I totally and completely agree with you that touch and tenderness and love are extremely beneficial to all of us. 👍 I used to work as a nurse for many years and one of the most beneficial things we could do for our patients was to hold their hand, caress their shoulder or forehead. My father used to always say when he was fighting cancer that hugs were the best medicine he could get but…

as wonderful and important as all of these things are, and they are important, timing has to be right also. I know l have watched and participated in these conversations before and aside from a few sarcastic comments or silly disrespectful jokes, probably attempts to lighten the conversation, I have almost rarely heard anyone say the reason they don’t want to hold hands during the Our Father is because they don’t want to touch another person. Almost all the reasons I have heard is because they do not believe it is a proper practice at that time during mass, such as maybe a liturgical abuse and do not want to participate or they just prefer to pray the Our Father with their hands together the way the were maybe taught or they just happen to feel more at prayer that way.

It bothers me that every time this subject is brought up, someone says that people who don’t hold hands during the Our Father are scared to touch other people. That to me is disrespectful and almost in a way trying to pressure someone into praying a certain way that they don’t want to or don’t have to or have been told is wrong. It is almost a type of bullying and not loving and most people really do not like to be bullied. :nope:

ewtn.com/expert/answers/holding_hands_at_mass.htm

I understand there are those that want to and for the most part I have no problems with this if it is among friends and family who all agree with it but just please be respectful of those at mass who are there to pray and are not part of your friends or family who share in that practice. Know that we are not afraid to touch you but just don’t want to hold your hand while we are praying the Our Father and we will greet you and show brotherly love to you in just a few moments during the sign of peace, otherwise you are distracting us during our prayer to God.

I was always taught to be respectful to someone when they are praying because they are talking to someone.

God bless 🙂
 
Diana_Catherine said:
Though I love that part of one of my favorite movies, I have to say at Mass is not somewhere I would want to see that. I would find another parish. 🙂

God bless
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🙂 I’m not sure I could retrieve my jaw from the floor if it happened during Mass.
 
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