Holding Hands

[dcdurel]

Clarifications and Interpretations of the GIRM “Notitiae” Vol. XI (1975) p. 226] explains:

“. . .holding hands is a sign of intimacy and not reconciliation, and as such disrupts the flow of the Sacramental signs in the Mass which leads to the Sacramental sign of intimacy with Christ and our neighbor, Holy Communion.”

 

[TimOliv]

Tim,

I would consider that grounds for resigning from the lectorship, altar serving, or other ministry. Holding hands is one thing; holding hands with the priest is something else; and going behind the altar is something else entirely.

• Liberian

We cannot allow human fallibility interfere with our faith. Our ministries are FOR Christ and for his church. If we resign every time we notice a liturgical abuse, score one for the devil.

 

[MariaG]

The U.S. bishops’ conference debated a proposal by some bishops to allow the use of the orantes posture while discussing the “American Adaptations to the General Instruction to the Roman Missal” last year. Some bishops even argued that it was the best way of ridding the country of holding hands. The proposal failed to garner the required two-thirds majority of votes, however, and was dropped from the agenda.

What I find interesting in this proposal is that, in fact, I do not believe it would have the desired effect.

I know for myself, when I stand in an orantes posture, my hand will usually be grabbed ahold of since people seem to think I am offering my hand, whereas when I place my hands in a prayer position and bow my head, I am usually not bothered.

I actually do not mind the holding of hands and do not see the distinctions and implications that others do. However, I TRY to be faithful to what is supposed to be done. This often times in my church places me in the uncomfortable position of being the only one who stands at the proper times, (I kept trying to start a wave), or the hand holding.

I am working on my own shortcomings of worrying more what others think than what God thinks, but I truly wish that our priest, the bishops, and Rome would all speak forcefully on this issue. The problem is, the longer this is allowed to go on (or until it becomes *officially *approved?), the more it becomes the “norm” and people will be unhappy if hand holding is forcefully forbidden.

God Bless,
Maria

 

[quasimodo]

And the GIRM clearly specifies that what is not expressly permitted is prohibited.

That which is not required is forbidden? Got a reference?

Sin never leads someone closer to God, even if it’s venial.

Boldly defining sin where none existed before

Given the choice between being hung up on this issue, or being hung on people being hung up on this issue, I’ll choose the former

Huh?

And I don’t think answering a person’s question accurately qualifies as being “hung up” on an issue. I don’t support the holding of hands during the Our Father, the raising of the hands in the orans position, or dancing in the aisles. I’m not hung up, just doing the best I can to support the Church’s precepts and teachings.

Jeremy

My comments were intended to encourage the poster see this as a molehill, not a mountain. Explainations of molehills are fine. Some explanations turn them into mountains. Calling it a sin does just that.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Sir Knight,

I would make exceptions for parents with children and newlyweds. And other happily married people as well.

• Liberian

Yes, as Church Militant pointed out for us (*Hi CM *) exceptions are made for family and close friends.

 

[Loy]

Sin never leads someone closer to God, even if it’s venial.

As a general statement that is true, but it would be best to leave it up to the pastors to determine whether holding hands during the Our Father is sinful, venial or otherwise.

 

[THutch04]

I agree, I think there should be a definite stance on this issue, for the reasons MariaG listed above, and for the fact that so many people are unaware of if they’re allowed to participate in it, or if they’re allowed to refuse.

 

[stjosephtomasi]

What does it say about our bishops that this sort of practice can continue without comment? and that good people on both sides of the issue strongly believe that they are right?

Doesn’t common sense dictate that they should say “yes it is allowed” or “no it is not allowed”?

Where are the shepherds? If half the flock goes in one direction and half goes in the other, don’t they have the obligation to guide us back together?

 

[Sir_Knight]

I’m not saying that a priest can do cartwheels during mass because it is not specifically forbidden. What I am saying is that omission does not necessarily constitute prohibition.

If omission does not constitute prohibition, then what specifically prohibits him from doing cartwheels during mass?

Since the GIRM makes no mention of EMHC’s distributing communion, am I to understand their omission as a prohibition against them distributing communion to the faithful?

But Canon law does and Canon Law superceeds the GIRM and neither Canon Law not nor the GIRM calls for the holding of hands.

nd before I continue, I will say again, I completely oppose holding hands during the Lord’s Prayer.

I found myself defending a position that I am not supportive of a few times as well – strange feeling, isn’t it?

 

[Fidelis]

(My standard answer on this topic whic has come up innumerable times in these forums…)

Aside from the fact that it is not called for in the rubrics, there are many reasons why people object to holding hands during the Our Father. For many people, hand-holding is a very personal action shared with those who are very close–spouses, lovers, parents and children. To be forced to participate or appear hopelessly churlish is unfair and embarrassing to them. A person who does not wish to hold hands in a congregation of people who have come to fully expect everyone to hold hands, is forced to take a perceptively *negative *action, i.e. actively declining to hold hands. This marks that person out as an unfriendly boor when, ironically, all they are doing is declining to participate in an act that is not even required! What about the objection “At Mass we are all supposed to be one big family anyway; we should be able to show the love we are supposed to feel.” Well, that is the express purpose of “the kiss of peace” before Holy Communion. In some cultures, a fraternal gesture is literally a kiss. In the Orient, it is a polite bow. In our culture, it is a friendly shaking of hands. To go from a more intimate expression of love (holding hands) to a less intimate (a handshake) does not make any sense. If someone wants to hold hands with their spouse or kids during the Our Father, more power to them. When the entire congregation automatically goes into the stretch across the pews mode at the invitation to pray, it becomes intrusive and presumptive.

Frankly, I am astounded when people go to so much trouble to defend any *un-mandated *action that, effectively, forces other people, willing or not, to participate. If someone wants to individually whirl like a dervish or bounce on one foot, or pick their I don’t know what and it makes them feel holier to do so during Mass, then go for it. But for goodness sakes, just because it makes you feel good, don’t insist on promoting an un-mandated practice that makes others feel like boors if they don’t feel the same way about it and decline to play along.

 

[TimOliv]

(My standard answer on this topic whic has come up innumerable times in these forums…)

Aside from the fact that it is not called for in the rubrics, there are many reasons why people object to holding hands during the Our Father. For many people, hand-holding is a very personal action shared with those who are very close–spouses, lovers, parents and children. To be forced to participate or appear hopelessly churlish is unfair and embarrassing to them. A person who does not wish to hold hands in a congregation of people who have come to fully expect everyone to hold hands, is forced to take a perceptively *negative *action, i.e. actively declining to hold hands. This marks that person out as an unfriendly boor when, ironically, all they are doing is declining to participate in an act that is not even required! What about the objection “At Mass we are all supposed to be one big family anyway; we should be able to show the love we are supposed to feel.” Well, that is the express purpose of “the kiss of peace” before Holy Communion. In some cultures, a fraternal gesture is literally a kiss. In the Orient, it is a polite bow. In our culture, it is a friendly shaking of hands. To go from a more intimate expression of love (holding hands) to a less intimate (a handshake) does not make any sense. If someone wants to hold hands with their spouse or kids during the Our Father, more power to them. When the entire congregation automatically goes into the stretch across the pews mode at the invitation to pray, it becomes intrusive and presumptive.

Frankly, I am astounded when people go to so much trouble to defend any un-mandated action that, effectively, forces other people, willing or not, to participate. If someone wants to individually whirl like a dervish or bounce on one foot, or pick their I don’t know what and it makes them feel holier to do so during Mass, then go for it. But for goodness sakes, just because it makes you feel good, don’t insist on promoting an un-mandated practice that makes others feel like boors if they don’t feel the same way about it and decline to play along.

I agree. Its along the same lines of the people with the rosaries during mass. Years ago it was actually commented that I could not possibly be praying all that time I was in church because I was neither kneeling nor did I have rosaries around my hands.

 

[dcdurel]

Clarifications and Interpretations of the GIRM “Notitiae” Vol. XI (1975) p. 226] explains:

“. . .holding hands is a sign of intimacy and not reconciliation, and as such disrupts the flow of the Sacramental signs in the Mass which leads to the Sacramental sign of intimacy with Christ and our neighbor, Holy Communion.”
forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/quote.gif

 

[TimOliv]

While we’re talking about the Lord’s Prayer, is there anything which prohibits people from praying the Lord’s prayer while outstretching their arms as the priest is doing? I had heard that only the principal celebrant should be doing this anyway, and laity should not be doing it at all.

 

[prv]

(My standard answer on this topic whic has come up innumerable times in these forums…)

Aside from the fact that it is not called for in the rubrics, there are many reasons why people object to holding hands during the Our Father. For many people, hand-holding is a very personal action shared with those who are very close–spouses, lovers, parents and children. To be forced to participate or appear hopelessly churlish is unfair and embarrassing to them. A person who does not wish to hold hands in a congregation of people who have come to fully expect everyone to hold hands, is forced to take a perceptively *negative *action, i.e. actively declining to hold hands. This marks that person out as an unfriendly boor when, ironically, all they are doing is declining to participate in an act that is not even required! What about the objection “At Mass we are all supposed to be one big family anyway; we should be able to show the love we are supposed to feel.” Well, that is the express purpose of “the kiss of peace” before Holy Communion. In some cultures, a fraternal gesture is literally a kiss. In the Orient, it is a polite bow. In our culture, it is a friendly shaking of hands. To go from a more intimate expression of love (holding hands) to a less intimate (a handshake) does not make any sense. If someone wants to hold hands with their spouse or kids during the Our Father, more power to them. When the entire congregation automatically goes into the stretch across the pews mode at the invitation to pray, it becomes intrusive and presumptive.

Frankly, I am astounded when people go to so much trouble to defend any un-mandated action that, effectively, forces other people, willing or not, to participate. If someone wants to individually whirl like a dervish or bounce on one foot, or pick their I don’t know what and it makes them feel holier to do so during Mass, then go for it. But for goodness sakes, just because it makes you feel good, don’t insist on promoting an un-mandated practice that makes others feel like boors if they don’t feel the same way about it and decline to play along.

Agreed with all of the above. The priest at the campus ministry I went to a few years ago actually stressed what the above posters have already noted: no one is required to hold hands during the Our Father. No one.

 

[viktor_aleksndr]

Holding Hands in praying the Our Father is not the real practice of the Church. I think it has started when charismatic groups became popular.

It has started as raising hands to holding hands.

I don’t do it because i know that it is a gesture of the celebrant as the leader of the community praying but there are cases where they get my hands first so i can do nothing about that…

 

[Brian_C]

While we’re talking about the Lord’s Prayer, is there anything which prohibits people from praying the Lord’s prayer while outstretching their arms as the priest is doing? I had heard that only the principal celebrant should be doing this anyway, and laity should not be doing it at all.

Search threads for the “Orans posture”

Or read this link: adoremus.org/1103OransPosture.html

 

[RCCDefender]

I agree, I think there should be a definite stance on this issue, for the reasons MariaG listed above, and for the fact that so many people are unaware of if they’re allowed to participate in it, or if they’re allowed to refuse.

What does it say about our bishops that this sort of practice can continue without comment? and that good people on both sides of the issue strongly believe that they are right?

Doesn’t common sense dictate that they should say “yes it is allowed” or “no it is not allowed”?

Where are the shepherds? If half the flock goes in one direction and half goes in the other, don’t they have the obligation to guide us back together?

 

[cjaubert]

Most discussions on this topic miss the point. The issue is not what feels good, but what is consistent with the purpose of the Mass. Here is how I see it (this is a long post - sorry - and I will have to make it in two parts. I plead with someone - ANYONE - to tell me where my analysis is wrong):

Part 1:

The Mass is the source and summit of Christian life. The General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) says, “The celebration of the Mass . . . is for the universal and the local Church, as well as for each person, the center of the whole Christian life.” Mass is a vertical event, with the parishioners giving thanks to Almighty God and focusing on the transcendent and the divine.

This is particularly true during the Our Father. The Our Father is a prayer to God that prepares us to come with open, forgiving hearts to the Lord’s Table to be nourished in Holy Communion. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) says, “In the Our Father, the object of the first three petitions is the glory of the Father: the sanctification of his name, the coming of the kingdom, and the fulfillment of his will. The four others present our wants to him: they ask that our lives be nourished, healed of sin, and made victorious in the struggle of good over evil.” (CCC 2857.) At the time of this prayer, everyone should be doing the same thing, and we should reflect on our preparation for Holy Communion by addressing our heavenly Father, and only our heavenly Father.

The point is, the Lord’s Prayer is a prayer to God, and only to God (vertical). It does not, and is not meant to, emphasize our local parish community unity (horizontal). Thus, the prayer should not be diluted with concerns of sweaty palms, groping for hands, or some other such distraction.

It is a fact that the Vatican has not taken a formal position on whether holding hands during the Our Father is proper, and that there is no formally prescribed posture for the hands during the Our Father. The evidence suggesting the impropriety of the posture, however, is great, as is the evidence to support that, at the very least, the posture cannot be mandated or forced on anyone.

Article 42 of the GIRM says, “The gestures and posture of . . . the people ought to contribute to making the entire celebration resplendent with beauty and noble simplicity, so that the true and full meaning of the different parts of the celebration is evident and that the participation of all is fostered. Therefore, attention should be paid to what . . . serves the common spiritual good of the People of God, rather than private inclination or arbitrary choice.

In the GIRM, the only posture specified for the congregation during the Our Father is standing. (See, e.g., GIRM 43.) It says nothing about what people should do with their hands. Any argument in support of hand-holding is, at best, an “argument from silence.” (At the very least, “standing” and “standing and holding hands” are different postures.)

The “argument from silence” is a weak one, magnified by what the Church has said on related issues. The Church has clearly stated, in Notitiae, vol. 11 (1975), p.226, that, “The prolonged holding of hands is of itself a sign of communion rather than of peace. Further, it is a liturgical gesture introduced spontaneously but on personal initiative; it is not in the rubrics.”

If it is not in the rubrics, it cannot be forced on anyone. The Code of Canon Law (1983) mandates: “The liturgical books approved by the competent authority are to be faithfully observed in the celebration of the sacraments; therefore, no one on personal authority may add, remove, or change anything in them.” (Canon 826.1; See also: Vatican II Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy (1963) and the Instruction on the Worship of the Eucharistic Mystery, No. 45 (1967).) Similarly, in the Third Instruction on the Correct Implementation of the Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy, No. 1 (1970), the Church reminds us that, “The priest should realize that by imposing his own personal restoration of sacred rites he is offending the rights of the faithful and is introducing individualism and idiosyncrasy into celebrations which belong to the whole Church.”

It is a fact that nowhere in the rubrics, or in any liturgical document for the Universal Church, or in any document from the USCCB, is holding hands during the Lord’s Prayer mandated. The gesture is not prescribed or even alluded to anywhere, is an innovation to the Mass by personal initiative, and in its goal to build unity, it can be alienating and insensitive to people who do not wish to violate the rubrics, but who feel intimidated or compelled by peer pressure to do so.

Put simply, unless something is in the rubrics, it is not part of the Mass and cannot be forced on anyone. Since the Church does not require us to hold hands, nor even mention it as a legitimate option, it follows that not holding hands is a way of obeying liturgical law.

 

[cjaubert]

Part 2:

Besides compelling reasons above, we should not hold hands during the Lord’s Prayer for other, more practical or logical reasons:

1. The Mass is not a social event. It is the re-presentation of the sacrifice of Calvary, and the loftiest form of prayer. It should be attended with appropriate solemnity.
2. The Mass has a formal structure that should be respected. This means we forgo certain things (like hand-holding) that we might do on the outside. Deviation from the formal structure detracts from the solemnity of the Mass and the sober mysteries of Catholic tradition, and homogenizes the Mass to a less identifiably Catholic service that might fit in with any suburban megachurch.
3. The true unity – what brings Catholics together – is the Eucharist. Receiving the Eucharist brings us into communion – unity – with our Lord and with each other. What could be more unifying than that?
4. Hand-holding detracts from the attention to be given to God (see, e.g., CCC 2777-2865.)
5. The timing makes no sense. First, holding hands during the Our Father is redundant and detracts from the Sign of Peace where direct contact with each other is ritually called for. Second, holding hands is more intimate than shaking hands. Why should we do something more intimate immediately before the Sign of Peace, a gesture from the earliest Masses designed to show a genuine unity based on peace and forgiveness?
6. That hand-holding is popular or widespread is beside the point – no priest has the right to impose an unapproved gesture on anyone; that is, unless and until the rubrics are changed to allow it. Until that happens, hand-holding intrudes a false sense of friendliness into the Mass and undercuts the immediately-following sign of peace.
7. We should be students of liturgy and immerse ourselves in the beauty and richness of our 2,000-year tradition.
8. The Mass is designed to be a unified act of worship throughout the worldwide Church; if people in different local parish communities are using different gestures, that defeats this goal.
9. Modifications to liturgical rites should arise organically and not be borrowed from secular self-help groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous, from where unified hand-holding, I have been told, began.
10. The claim to “showing unity” by holding hands is not persuasive. First, don’t we show unity by all standing and saying the prayer in unison? Second, if unity is the goal, why don’t we hold hands throughout the whole mass? Third, while it is certainly good to feel close to our friends, family, and fellow parishioners, we can all hold hands somewhere else, and at a different time.

For all these reasons, my family chooses not to hold hands during the Lord’s Prayer. Even if one disagrees with our conclusion that the gesture is not appropriate, I think most intellectually honest Catholics would have to agree that the posture is not, and cannot be, mandated or forced on anyone.

Finally, as an aside, while the GIRM and other official Church documents are silent on the posture of the ordinary Catholic’s hands during the Our Father, the same is not true for priests. The rubrics clearly direct the Priest and any concelebrants to pray the Our Father with hands extended – the Orans position. (GIRM 152.) Thus, while many of us have seen priests holding hands with a deacon or someone else during the Lord’s Prayer, that posture is wrong, and it should not be done.

Conclusion:

Hand-holding during the Our Father is not the most pressing issue facing the Church today. At the same time, it is a great example of the watering down of Mass and the “Protestantization” of our sacred liturgy.

The truth is, if a certain posture is not called for in the rubrics, it cannot be mandated on the faithful. Hand-holding during the Lord’s Prayer is found nowhere in the rubrics, and, as such, it is an inappropriate addition to the Mass brought on by personal initiative.

Even just a small amount of individual research will support what is written here. To get you started, here are three interesting links:

ewtn.com/expert/answers/holding_hands_at_mass.htm

catholicexchange.com/vm/index.asp?vm_id=64&art_id=27749

catholic.com/thisrock/1998/9807fea3.asp

 

[Big_Dave]

I thank all of you that have replied to my post. As a converting life long evangelical holding hands during prayer did not seem like a big deal. After reading the post. I can see where it can be. I accept that nothing should come between the individual and the consecration on the altar. I have come to admire and appreciate deeply the Catholic peoples deep desire to follow the lords church im everything. I now have decided that holding hands during the Our Father is a distraction from our prayer to the Father and what is happening on the altar. I am still learning as my formal RCIA training does not start until Sept. 28th. I look forward with great anticipation with joining with the church next Easter !!!

God bless you all.

Dave