Holiday family refuge thread!

[Hockeygurl]

Yay!!! Glad to hear I am not the only scrooge this year and am NOT going to family members houses (drama central). I have a good excuse this year though, I have a large litter of puppies that I would have to bring with me… needless to say, I wasn’t given ANY flack.

:dancing:

I am planning to spend my day leisurely cooking and sharing a few bottles of wine with hubby, kids and a few friends.

 

[DarkLight]

So far my thanksgiving plans seem to be “let’s play D&D!” Maybe I’ll find some turkey so I can share a little with the kitties - they do so love it when they get little bits of meat.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I will be going to the home of some family friends as I have for several years since my mom died. I have not seen or shared a holiday/event with relatives since my cousin’s kid’s graduation several years ago. I’m bummed that I’ve lost touch with most of my relatives but kind of glad I don’t have to deal with bigotry, their discomfort, their unrealistic expectations of me and their disappointment/Schadenfreude that I’m not my mother’s clone.

The last Christmas I spent with relatives (which was almost exactly a year after my mom passed) and we were having dinner and talking about traditions (I’m enjoying the normal and happy conversation) and I mention a traditional Danish Christmas food. My cousin expressed interest and I said, “I’ll practice making them so I can bring some next year.”

It got kind of quiet and I think a couple of people dropped their forks. If my life was a television drama this is where I would have narrated, “There’s not going to be a ‘next year,’ is there?” After dinner we watched an ancient movie about a rancher who takes in a Native American boy who gets separated from his father during a storm or something (not sure if the choice of movie is because it’s about horses or to show they aren’t prejudiced). Then I get something in my eye and I don’t have drops with me and I don’t know what to do since their isn’t soap at any of the bathroom sinks (not kidding) but I finally make a compress with a wet paper towel. No one says a word. No one asks if I need something or if they can help. I realize they think I’m crying because I miss my mom (hence the discomfort I mentioned above) and are avoiding saying anything that might “make it worse.”

I’m grateful for having a place to go for the holidays. Not because I don’t want to be alone but because when people ask me what I’m doing, I have an answer. I know there was a holiday or two for which I didn’t have plans and I was asked and it was awkward and I felt sort of pathetic. I wasn’t crazy about the Holidays at any point in my life but now I have this potential awkwardness I have to navigate every year. I wish I could swing going to Antarctica for Christmas. Or something.

 

[Demetra2]

No drama happening in my home this year, thank goodness! Just the four of us and one cousin. We all get along and enjoy each other’s company. I am dong most of the cooking and I am enjoying it. Happy Thanksgiving to all here at CAF!

 

[TigerKitty]

Other than that, I’ve got nothing to add except to pass around a plate of (digital) cookies. Anyone up for fruitcake and mince pies? I always am, but few people seem to share my love of either. Ah, well–all the more for me!

Sign me up for those cookies, they sound great. I’m stressing about tomorrow. Let’s just say that I don’t get invitations from my family, they are more like “summons”. Two angry phone calls tonight from dad and sis who consider it more important for me to drive 100 miles on bad roads than to be safe. They got 10 inches of snow today so it’s not like they are unaware of conditions.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

So far my thanksgiving plans seem to be “let’s play D&D!” Maybe I’ll find some turkey so I can share a little with the kitties - they do so love it when they get little bits of meat.

I’m looking forward to spending time with my friends but yours plans sound good, too. I will have to remember to take some turkey home for my wee monkeys.

 

[Ms_Manners]

They’re not coming!
After all the fuss, one of the daughters is starting a class or something and her sister and mother won’t go anywhere without her. They might decide to come at a later time, but they will let us know if and when their joint plans allow it.
(Good luck to any guy who might want to date just one of them. )

 

[Gordon_Sims]

The last Christmas I spent with relatives (which was almost exactly a year after my mom passed) and we were having dinner and talking about traditions (I’m enjoying the normal and happy conversation) and I mention a traditional Danish Christmas food. My cousin expressed interest and I said, “I’ll practice making them so I can bring some next year.”

It got kind of quiet and I think a couple of people dropped their forks. If my life was a television drama this is where I would have narrated, “There’s not going to be a ‘next year,’ is there?”

Several years ago we had a few family members all but tell us they were going to get us uninvited from the big family holiday gatherings. My closer family members insisted we had misunderstood. Now that we’re no longer invited to the family parties, those closer family members are in full denial mode and insist that those other family members never did those things years back and that us not being welcome at the family events is a personal choice or something we brought on ourselves.

On the other side of the family, after my father-in-law died we were invited out to lunch by his remaining family. Although nothing specific was said, we got the message that it was the last time we’d be seeing them on purpose. It’s been over ten years and we’ve seen them a grand total of once since then. Once a year or so we’ll get a note or message telling us we need to get together but we don’t even try to follow up on those anymore because even when we leave the plans entirely up to them, they’re always too busy. We figure it’s their loss.

 

[DarkLight]

The disadvantage of college areas is that the community just sort of fades away around Christmas. I’m going to be spending it alone most likely. Just me and the cats.