Unless the reservations have already been made for the venue/event, maybe someone can (anonymously?) suggest to powers that be for a more informal (relaxed), catered buffet, at the office, or if not small clusters of tables. That way, big leader(s) can make their speech, and like-minded individuals can cluster together, and not endure the gossips, nor the gossips be put off by the more well behaved.
Sounds like one of my old work environments many years ago - but it was even worse in that we were all expected to go to lunch together, in two shifts - and one of the department busy bodies started the tradition of making out “assignments” to these shifts, and had the nerve to openly brag about/ label them “fun” lunch and “dud” lunch (and management allowed)
, so be glad that this is only one event!
Maybe you could create a “pen name” on business-related social media (I wont mention their name), and consult with one of their work group forums like this one, but about employment questions (legalities). Surely you are not alone. Also look via search engine for “uncomfortable work situations.” Good luck - I feel for you because I’ve been there - In this tight job market I know you don’t want to quit, but I ended up transferring out of a particular position because simply keeping your head down and being civil just didn’t work - the bad attitudes were so extreme that they were detrimental to how I felt about myself, and I wasn’t the only person who moved on…
