Holiness and aging

[reen12]

Now that millions of Boomers are beyond age 60 * how do we seek holiness in the final third of life?

If anyone would like to share thoughts on ‘Be ye holy…’ as this pertains to aging,
I would welcome such thoughts and learn from them.

---

God gave me a wonderful insight today, as I was concluding a grocery shopping in
this huge! supermarket.

This was the insight given.

The last third of life, as one begins to age in earnest, is a merciful gift of God.
The lessons which I refused to learn much earlier in life are now to be learned -
because there is no choice in the matter, resist as I may.

The capacity for ‘multi-tasking’ receeds, with much frustration.
Life in the fast lane is gone for good, and to the good.
Yet that which God takes away with one hand, He gives with the other.
For the first time in my life I know what ‘serenity’ feels like,
when I’m very tired from completing a trip to the supermarket, sans multi-tasking.​

What do we hold tight in our hands that we do not want to give back to God,
the ‘giver of all good gifts’?
Is the last third of life not a saying goodbye in myriad ways?

It’s kind of hard to insist that one’s own will be done when one is
struggling to make it back to the car to stow the groceries.
That curious sense of self-importance begins to fall away,
because it has to. The sense of having to be ‘in control’
becomes risible with aging, as more and more phenomena
become beyond our control.

It’s as if God says: You tell Me that you trust Me.
Do you trust Me now in many more ways?
Do you trust Me to comfort you in aging, as you
come closer to the end of life? As you need give up
the sense that earthly life is forever? Will you take My hand
and trust Me?

I will try to, God. Thank You for the sense of serenity that
You gave to me today. Please give me the courage to
reach out to You and to hold Your hand, in all that is to come in the days and years ahead.

If anyone would like to share an insight gained, in terms of aging, as this pertains
to our life with God, this would be more than welcome.

reen12*

 

[Edward_H]

Great topic and contribution. Thanks.

We need to be squeezed out like a lemon at the end of our life. So the pace of holiness should only grow and get more exciting as we near God.

Our soul can be more refreshed and more ready to serve as we get older, even if our body breaks down. It’s been said that we should love “with the love our youth.”

The last third of our life should be as full of love and giving as the first 2/3rds. That’s my goal at least.

Thanks again for your posting.

 

[jeje831]

Now that “the distractions” have moved on, the time comes for what I hope (not there quite yet myself) intense reflection, prayer and learning. You will have the time that you have spent in living, raising the kids, paying the bills, working for promotions, promotion of your children etc, These times of the past are resolved and passed in the most part. Hopefully you have begun to figure out what is really important. Yes, you will continue to love and continue your living but I myself look forward to the time where I am able to truely reflect on the life I have lead and with my “wiser” self move forward to the next growing phase.

 

[reen12]

Great topic and contribution. Thanks.

We need to be squeezed out like a lemon at the end of our life. So the pace of holiness should only grow and get more exciting as we near God.

Our soul can be more refreshed and more ready to serve as we get older, even if our body breaks down. It’s been said that we should love “with the love our youth.”

The last third of our life should be as full of love and giving as the first 2/3rds. That’s my goal at least.

Thanks again for your posting.

You’re welcome, Edward H.

I do understand what you are saying, and wholly agree.
I’m wondering if aging is like catching a second breath in life.

The transition into the vestibule of aging I have found to be
somewhat disorienting. In some ways it’s still like age 50,
and in other ways simple accomplishments seem daunting.

You know what I was thinking about aging?
There is at least one virtue that ‘costs’ a lot more.
Patience. It’s much easier to be patient - for many decades,
and then it becomes more difficult, which increases God’s
appreciation for any patience that we can bring to the field, so to speak.

And this got me thinking about each of the virtues - as same
are to be expressed, when the aches and pain, tight ligaments and
sore muscles announce their arrival. * But then again, my
grandmother [born 1895] used to say “You can’t put old heads on young shoulders.”

C.S. Lewis once wrote that each of us is to take our place on the line of battle.
The good thing is, one’s place in the ‘line of battle’ may be in a reclining chair
in assisted living, or in a wheelchair in a nursing home. A blessed opportunity
to build, with prayer, a sustaining platform for the young to stand on,
as they face the rigors that life can hold.

There’s a lot of terra incognito in the aging realm. This is where
holding God’s hand makes me feel safer, because it’s not so scarey to
lose the powers and strength of youth if He is near.

reen*

 

[Edward_H]

I think you just wrote some great verse there, perhaps poetry. Neat!

 

[reen12]

Now that “the distractions” have moved on, the time comes for what I hope (not there quite yet myself) intense reflection, prayer and learning. You will have the time that you have spent in living, raising the kids, paying the bills, working for promotions, promotion of your children etc, These times of the past are resolved and passed in the most part. Hopefully you have begun to figure out what is really important. Yes, you will continue to love and continue your living but I myself look forward to the time where I am able to truely reflect on the life I have lead and with my “wiser” self move forward to the next growing phase.

A fine, positive attitude I think, jeje831.

quote jeje831

Hopefully you have begun to figure out what is really important.

This is what I am finding. If life is seen, metaphorically, as climbing a mountain,
the further up the mountain the more beautiful the panorama that stretches out
below you. And then there are those lovely viewing areas, often perched on the
side of the road, where a driver may pull in and rest and view much of the mountain.

From further up the climb, even those expanses in life that were profoundly difficult and full of pain,
provide *chiaroscuro *to the landscape below, lending shading and depth.
God sees this chiaroscuro in it’s brilliant depth, even if we who lived it out do not.

I think that maybe God tucks us closer to His heart as we age.

Thank you for your thougths, jeje831.

reen

 

[reen12]

I think you just wrote some great verse there, perhaps poetry. Neat!

Thank you for your kind words. If there’s any poetry about,
I credit that to my Irish ancestry. http://bestsmileys.com/waving/5.gif

reen

 

[GaryTaylor]

I look back through the decades and often ponder the wisdom so freely given. And I also think about the advances of civilization. Times are moving fast now, And with the understanding of the computer age much knowledge is at ones fingertips. And its good because the generation of today and those to come will need to pick up more and faster.

School is never out and learning never ends. I find myself very happy and content watching the children and grandchildren. And I enjoy the slower pace and the opportunity to read more. Yet I also believe with age comes more responsibility. Its just as important to give back to the younger generations as it is to continue on the Souls path of Self. And its all relivant. My mother is still alive and well at 90. She golfs,drives, swims and is very independant still. She still prays the Rosary daily and has as long as I can remember. I pray the Rosary daily now, which though growing up though Catholic I didn’t. So the philosophy of “Each one, teach one” remains in full effect.

The things that I don’t enjoy about getting older are the aches and pains that become a daily part of life and don’t exist with youth. Growing pains and heartbreak exist with youth. So the reality becomes different but yet one of the same.

What concerns me the most is a much more troubled world with each passing decade. I look foward to the next reality of God. But the world today is of Great concern. And many Souls hang in the balance. I firmly believe we can’t just forget that, and concentrate on self. Their have been many issues we as this senior generation have experienced on Earth. The simple lessons we learned we need to give back.

For example think of Vietnam, now think of the middleast who have been at War for 200 years with themselves? We have no business there promoting violence in the name of Good.

The money spent on entertainment and especially Sports in this country. You could feed 3 other third world countries? And the purpose it serves is ceratinly questionable. For the 5-dollars it would cost you for a library card you would be much better off.

No easy answers as usual, but I pray daily for the direction and strength.

God Bless, GT

 

[reen12]

I look back through the decades and often ponder the wisdom so freely given. And I also think about the advances of civilization. Times are moving fast now, And with the understanding of the computer age much knowledge is at ones fingertips. And its good because the generation of today and those to come will need to pick up more and faster.

School is never out and learning never ends. I find myself very happy and content watching the children and grandchildren. And I enjoy the slower pace and the opportunity to read more. Yet I also believe with age comes more responsibility. Its just as important to give back to the younger generations as it is to continue on the Souls path of Self. And its all relivant. My mother is still alive and well at 90. She golfs,drives, swims and is very independant still. She still prays the Rosary daily and has as long as I can remember. I pray the Rosary daily now, which though growing up though Catholic I didn’t. So the philosophy of “Each one, teach one” remains in full effect.

The things that I don’t enjoy about getting older are the aches and pains that become a daily part of life and don’t exist with youth. Growing pains and heartbreak exist with youth. So the reality becomes different but yet one of the same.

What concerns me the most is a much more troubled world with each passing decade. I look foward to the next reality of God. But the world today is of Great concern. And many Souls hang in the balance. I firmly believe we can’t just forget that, and concentrate on self. Their have been many issues we as this senior generation have experienced on Earth. The simple lessons we learned we need to give back.

For example think of Vietnam, now think of the middleast who have been at War for 200 years with themselves? We have no business there promoting violence in the name of Good.

The money spent on entertainment and especially Sports in this country. You could feed 3 other third world countries? And the purpose it serves is ceratinly questionable. For the 5-dollars it would cost you for a library card you would be much better off.

No easy answers as usual, but I pray daily for the direction and strength.

God Bless, GT

A wonderful post, GT. I learned from you, and I am grateful.

No easy answers as usual, but I pray daily for the direction and strength.

Was thinking the other day that, sometimes, the last Person that I turn to is God.
How utterly foolish on my part. Simply knowing that God loves the person
I am worried about - more than I could ever love them, brings some peace of
mind and heart, as I ask Him to hold them in His heart.

But the world today is of Great concern. And many Souls hang in the balance. I firmly believe we can’t just forget that, and concentrate on self. Their have been many issues we as this senior generation have experienced on Earth. The simple lessons we learned we need to give back.

Do you think that sometimes just the daily routine, in aging and retirement,
provides support for younger members of the family, as they start their
own families. There is something calming about knowing that the elder
members of the family are always there, in the same place. Do we ‘teach’
them, without even knowing that that is what we are doing?

I have told two of my mother’s lifelong friends, both now age 89, what an example
they have set for those of us in the cohort behind them, of how to conduct oneself
in widowhood. How to preserve dignity and calm in all that life brings, in deep aging.

So the philosophy of “Each one, teach one” remains in full effect.

A friend often calls to mind the words of St. Francis:

“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”

Thank you for your post, GT.

reen

 

[Trishie]

“Listen to me…you who have been carried since birth,
whom I have carried since the time you were born.
In your old age, I shall still be the same,
when your hair is grey, I shall support you.
I have already done so, I have carried you’
I shall still support and deliver you.” [Isaiah 46:3-4]

 

[reen12]

“Listen to me…you who have been carried since birth,
whom I have carried since the time you were born.
In your old age, I shall still be the same,
when your hair is grey, I shall support you.
I have already done so, I have carried you’
I shall still support and deliver you.” [Isaiah 46:3-4]

Calming words of reassurance from God, through Isaiah.
Thank you for calling this to mind, Trishie.

Cast me not off in the time of old age,
forsake me not when my strength fails.
*-Psalm 71

*Think of what it must have been like - 3,000 years ago -
when planting and herding and gathering crops filled one’s days.
Physical strength was requisite, vis a vis life in an ancient community.
I wonder what the elderly did, to help out as they could?
Maybe they did some of the cooking, and it must have been good
to be near the fire, what with aching backs and hands.
'…forsake me not when my strength fails…" must have had
profound meaning to them.

It’s like reaching out across the millenia and joining hands with
the ancient elderly, as one begins to age, oneself.

*Cast me not off in the time of old age;
forsake me not when my strength fails.

*Glory to Thee, O God, in Thy infinite Wisdom.
You give to us old age so that we may draw
even closer to You, recognizing even more clearly
our need of You.

reen

 

[puzzleannie]

NowThe capacity for ‘multi-tasking’ receeds, with much frustration.
Life in the fast lane is gone for good, and to the good.
Yet that which God takes away with one hand, He gives with the other.
reen12

absolutely true, thanks reena

downsizing and simplifying, possessions, obligations, self-imposed standards all these are key but must be done in a spirituality of stewardship that acknowledges all, even infirmities and diminished capacity, are gifts from God to be used for his greater honor and glory.

The only thing I add for any non-boomers reading is don’t wait for retirement, or when the kids leave the nest, or when you sell your house, or any other excuse to start living in, with and for God intentionally and totally. Do it today.

MIL is going strong at 88, having nursed two husbands through their lengthy last illnesses, and says her ministry is prayer, constant prayer, for their souls and for her family. I am convinced her prayers, united with those of their other grandparents in heaven, is working in the lives of my children in a visible discernable way. And she does pray, constantly, even when she is playing pinochle or lunching with the other folks in her building, all is prayer for her.

 

[reen12]

absolutely true, thanks reena

downsizing and simplifying, possessions, obligations, self-imposed standards all these are key but must be done in a spirituality of stewardship that acknowledges all, even infirmities and diminished capacity, are gifts from God to be used for his greater honor and glory.

The only thing I add for any non-boomers reading is don’t wait for retirement, or when the kids leave the nest, or when you sell your house, or any other excuse to start living in, with and for God intentionally and totally. Do it today.

MIL is going strong at 88, having nursed two husbands through their lengthy last illnesses, and says her ministry is prayer, constant prayer, for their souls and for her family. I am convinced her prayers, united with those of their other grandparents in heaven, is working in the lives of my children in a visible discernable way. And she does pray, constantly, even when she is playing pinochle or lunching with the other folks in her building, all is prayer for her.

Your post above is one of the finest that I’ve had the pleasure to read on CAF, puzzleannie. I surely learned from it.

quote: puzzleannie

downsizing and simplifying, possessions, obligations, self-imposed standards all these are key but must be done in a spirituality of stewardship that acknowledges all, even infirmities and diminished capacity, are gifts from God to be used for his greater honor and glory.

There is absolutely nothing that I could add to that which you have written.

Would you have a thought on the following? *

Am finding it very painful to downsize and simplify, in terms of possessions.
Am at that point in life when so many possessions that are in the
attic and basement need to be gone through and given away, or simply discarded.
I love the fact that you presented the reality of spiritual stewardship, with regard to
time, possessions, obligations. For this is how I see it as well.

Yet knowing that spiritual stewardship is the reality to be acknowledged and
acted upon, still I recoil from sorting out possessions, for this seems a deprivation,
emotionally. An emptying out. A confrontation of sorts. Being confronted with
“all things are passing.” Would you have a further thought on this?

A beautiful post, puzzleannie. Thank you.

reen*

 

[Claire_from_DE]

I’m getting closer to God. This is wonderful. Sometimes I think, “Why didn’t I do this thirty years ago?” Or I ask God why He waited until now to do this in my life. But then I look back and I see that He was preparing me all along.

The things I most regret are the attitudes and sins that perhaps frustrated His will for me when I was younger. But also, it makes me more patient with other people when I see how patient God has been with me. And I realize anyone can change, with God’s grace, at any stage in their lives.

At 63 I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life before. I think, if life has gotten this much better now, maybe it can get even better as I get even closer to God. It makes me feel optimistic about the future, even if it involves physical and other problems. I feel as though I could die happy now but I hope for many years in which to serve God in some way. I’m very very grateful to God.

I wonder if this gratitude is common to many Christians as they get older and look back and see how merciful God has been throughout their lives.

 

[puzzleannie]

.

Would you have a thought on the following? *

Am finding it very painful to downsize and simplify, in terms of possessions.
Am at that point in life when so many possessions that are in the
attic and basement need to be gone through and given away, or simply discarded.
I love the fact that you presented the reality of spiritual stewardship, with regard to
time, possessions, obligations. For this is how I see it as well.
n*
well I would first ask myself, are these possessions bringing me joy, comfort and satisfaction as I am using them now. My guess is, if they are in storage and not even being used in daily life for their intended purpose, the answer is NO. Then I would ask myself are these possessions causing me stress, pain, expense, and anxiety. If I am paying a monthly storage fee the answer to at least one of those is YES.

one of the wisest persons I have heard recently on this topic is Peter Walsh, I think he is Australian, the psychologist who wrote Does This Clutter Make my Butt Look Fat, the first book anyone struggling with weight and body image should get.

And he was on the reality TV show called clean sweep, where a team went into a home and helped the family get rid of junk and restore livable space in 2 days. He also wrote a book I have ordered called It’s All too Much, having read excerts on the web. He is a psychologist but what he writes has a spiritual dimension, if you can overlook the fact that he has appeared on Oprah. The idea he brings out over and over is that the issue is not the possessions themselves (or the food for that matter) it is the attitude or emotion we attach to the possessions. He suggests finding out why we cling to certain things and dealing with those deeper issues.

My thought would be that this foray into self-knowledge, done prayerfully and intentionally, can be an occasion of spiritual growth. I am holding on to paperwork for instance, which I have to deal with now before we move, because I have dealt with tax and other issues in the past from not having the right files. Now I am trained in records retention, so I know intellectually what to keep for how long, but have not yet shredded what I can let go, so I have to deal with that emotional baggage, partly the hurt of those past problems and guilt over them.

I just got rid of a lot of books I will never read, partly because I had to ask myself WHY I have not read them in all this time. The reasons are to say the least illuminating. Sometimes this is caught up in an image I have of my ideal self (someone who reads great literature or spiritual classics) as if I am being judged by some unnamed people by the books on display in my shelves. How silly and immature I am being!

One thing Peter did on some shows was show how the emotional weight of hanging on to, for instance, granny’s old broken vacuum cleaner because of love for the dead woman was actually diminishing her memory, which could much better be honored by selecting a handful of photos, letters or other mememtos, framing them where they could be seen and appreciated daily. That is a good example of how to confront the emotional baggage of possessions.

 

[reen12]

I’m getting closer to God. This is wonderful. Sometimes I think, “Why didn’t I do this thirty years ago?” Or I ask God why He waited until now to do this in my life. But then I look back and I see that He was preparing me all along.

The things I most regret are the attitudes and sins that perhaps frustrated His will for me when I was younger. But also, it makes me more patient with other people when I see how patient God has been with me. And I realize anyone can change, with God’s grace, at any stage in their lives.

At 63 I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life before. I think, if life has gotten this much better now, maybe it can get even better as I get even closer to God. It makes me feel optimistic about the future, even if it involves physical and other problems. I feel as though I could die happy now but I hope for many years in which to serve God in some way. I’m very very grateful to God.

I wonder if this gratitude is common to many Christians as they get older and look back and see how merciful God has been throughout their lives.

quote; Claire from DE

The things I most regret are the attitudes and sins that perhaps frustrated His will for me when I was younger. But also, it makes me more patient with other people when I see how patient God has been with me. And I realize anyone can change, with God’s grace, at any stage in their lives.

Thank you for your post, Claire. I’m wondering if, to God, we are not viewed
as other than spiritual adolescents for a very long time? As we are patient toward
adolescents, in their growing and learning years, so is God patient with us?
We learn through our mistakes and sins that God does not abandon us.
That He is infinitely patient and that He truly loves us.

In C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters, the elder devil tells the devil in training:
“He really loves these featherless bipeds.” Not capable of love, the elder devil
does not understand mercy, forgiveness extended, patience…but God does.

quote: Claire from DE

I wonder if this gratitude is common to many Christians as they get older and look back and see how merciful God has been throughout their lives.

I do understand what you are saying, Claire. He is merciful to us and to all those
with whom we spend our life. Family, extended family, our neighbors, fellow workers.

We can look back and see His mercy writ large in so many lives.

I did wish to note that - for more than a few, life is full of suffering beyond understanding.
The mercy, in aging, for those individuals, is that it is now seen clearly how brief life is,
even if one lives a very long time.

…God will wipe away every tear from their eyes…
-Revelations 7

Again, thank you for your thoughts, Claire.

reen

 

[reen12]

well I would first ask myself, are these possessions bringing me joy, comfort and satisfaction as I am using them now. My guess is, if they are in storage and not even being used in daily life for their intended purpose, the answer is NO. Then I would ask myself are these possessions causing me stress, pain, expense, and anxiety. If I am paying a monthly storage fee the answer to at least one of those is YES.

one of the wisest persons I have heard recently on this topic is Peter Walsh, I think he is Australian, the psychologist who wrote Does This Clutter Make my Butt Look Fat, the first book anyone struggling with weight and body image should get.

And he was on the reality TV show called clean sweep, where a team went into a home and helped the family get rid of junk and restore livable space in 2 days. He also wrote a book I have ordered called It’s All too Much, having read excerts on the web. He is a psychologist but what he writes has a spiritual dimension, if you can overlook the fact that he has appeared on Oprah. The idea he brings out over and over is that the issue is not the possessions themselves (or the food for that matter) it is the attitude or emotion we attach to the possessions. He suggests finding out why we cling to certain things and dealing with those deeper issues.

My thought would be that this foray into self-knowledge, done prayerfully and intentionally, can be an occasion of spiritual growth. I am holding on to paperwork for instance, which I have to deal with now before we move, because I have dealt with tax and other issues in the past from not having the right files. Now I am trained in records retention, so I know intellectually what to keep for how long, but have not yet shredded what I can let go, so I have to deal with that emotional baggage, partly the hurt of those past problems and guilt over them.

I just got rid of a lot of books I will never read, partly because I had to ask myself WHY I have not read them in all this time. The reasons are to say the least illuminating. Sometimes this is caught up in an image I have of my ideal self (someone who reads great literature or spiritual classics) as if I am being judged by some unnamed people by the books on display in my shelves. How silly and immature I am being!

One thing Peter did on some shows was show how the emotional weight of hanging on to, for instance, granny’s old broken vacuum cleaner because of love for the dead woman was actually diminishing her memory, which could much better be honored by selecting a handful of photos, letters or other mememtos, framing them where they could be seen and appreciated daily. That is a good example of how to confront the emotional baggage of possessions.

Perfect! I have every check that I’ve written out since 1975.
[Until the check itself is no longer returned.]
My spouse tells me that I’m like W.C. Fields and his roll top desk.
Stuff piled up and overflowing, but Fields could put his hand on any record
required in a nano-second.

Yes, there are larger issues, vis a vis the clutter of ages.
A photograph of my grandmother does not bring the comfort as her
heavy food grinder does. That is something that she used a lot,
and I am loathe to part with it. Does God help me draw my hand away
from this relic? Does He ask me to trust that I will be with Gram for
an eternity? Have I blocked the grief that I felt when she passed away?

I recall saying to my mother, when I was in my late 30’s, that I had
been up in the attic, where my husband and I had 5,000 volumes shelved,
and that I had realized - with a shock - that I wasn’t going to live! long enough
to read each of those volumes.

Possessions are strange things, in a way. God endowed us with physical bodies
and senses. We have a gift that the Seraphim lack. We can sniff the scent of
lilacs, feel the comfort of flannel, enjoy a find brandy. Yet we are creatures
with an immortal soul.

As Christ was stripped of even his garments, before his death, are we to
divest ourselves of beloved relics of memory, grieving as we do so?
Does He ask us to turn away from the past to see Him more clearly in the present?
Does He not know of loss? Did Jesus treasure the carpenter tools that
Joseph used? Those tools that Joseph taught Jesus how to work with?

Did Mary not look about her little house - a widow, and now Jesus gone, too?
Did she accept God’s will, that her son would return to Him, leaving her
in the care of St. John - did Mary ache to see her house again?
The familiar kitchen tools, and where she used to hang cloths to dry?
Did she miss how the sun would gradually fade each day, and the
quality of light that accompanied this setting, which light came through
the window into the kitchen?

I think you’re right, puzzleannie.

quote: puzzleannie, referring to Peter Walsh

He suggests finding out why we cling to certain things and dealing with those deeper issues.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Possessions tinged with the ‘false self,’ need be discarded.
But oh, how difficult this is. http://bestsmileys.com/sad/4.gif

reen

 

[sawman]

To all who posted here, Good Thread!
Although I hardly qualify, I do have a story about aging and holiness to share. About two and a half years ago, I and my siblings pitched in together and moved my parents out of the “ancestral home” into a condo. This was a very distressing activity as it involved divesting my Dad and Mom of many, many acumulated treasures. Their house had become a storehouse of “things that should be saved”. As the divestiture got started and as it proceeded there were many times I had to go through my Dad’s stuff and decide what went into the dumpster, what got saved, what just could not be thrown out at all. Dad’s library had 3000 books, and my job was to seperate the sheep from the goats. Dad needed the help because although he Loves books, his enthusiasm for them has certainly waned and he was loath to have to sort them out himself. I had responsibility for Dad’s books and tools and pipes. Basement stuff all. My sisters had Mom’s stuff heirlooms, furniture, pictures. It is hard now just to tell the tale.
Anyway, what I wanted to share was, that as I sorted and packed, I had to sift through more than fifty years of accumulated things. I was struck by what a metaphor for death the whole process had become. All the gospel themes of death and departing came to mind as I grieved over the loss my parents were experiencing. There was a lot of stress. We all experienced the stress in our own way. My parents were resigned to the move and thought it a good thing overall, but still the emptying of their home, our home, was in a way a sad thing to do.

Needless to say some things were harder to make judgements about than others. Christmas decorations- their house had been the traditional Christmas eve celebration for years- almost all that had to go. My Dad’a tools, what a wrenching thing! In many ways I felt like the Destroying angel This in the trash, that in to my brother, this to my in-laws. So death comes to us all and so does the final divesting of all that this life has gathered around us. I looked at my own soon -coming sorting. I experienced a kind of pre-grief over my own departure. So anyway, my parents are in the new place with a lot less baggage and very happy that they lived to see the giving a way of so much before they had no choice. I am happy for them as well, to have watched them go through this nessesary divesting, they had the good fortune to do this with the help of their beloved children, and the added benifit of having sorted so much out well before any death-bed experience. Death is a challenge to many, but to have the extra burden of departing from all of one’s stuff at the same time, is hard. I thank God for his mercy for allowing me the priveledge of being a part of this time in the life of my parents. I am glad I could bring them a sense of comfort in such a hard task.

Peace,
Tom

 

[puzzleannie]

if there is one thing that should move us old folks to declutter and simplify it is above post, about the burden of leaving that task to our children. Having gone through this now twice I vow not to do this to my kids. I have also observed, upon death of in-laws, that their attitude toward possessions can be inherited, and the grief, pain and suffering caused by those possessions, or the emotional attachment to them, can be handed on to their children. What a legacy.

I am thinking of a relative by marriage, very wealthy, huge house, full of stuff he considered valuable. He could never enjoy any of it because it was packed away, and could not enjoy his money because he would not buy what he truly needed and wanted, and agonized over the accounting statements, taxes etc. and got no pleasure out of either money, house or possessions. His daughter spent nearly 2 years going through every scrap of paper and knick knack, afraid she might miss something of value, and lost several opportunties to sell the home by her fear of losing money. It finally went for a fraction of its value to the city who tore it down and scrapped all those valuable “possessions” for a parking lot. Had she been able to sell stuff on e-bay or even had an estate sale she could have at least gotten something for the accumulation of a lifetime.

 

[reen12]

if there is one thing that should move us old folks to declutter and simplify it is above post, about the burden of leaving that task to our children. Having gone through this now twice I vow not to do this to my kids. I have also observed, upon death of in-laws, that their attitude toward possessions can be inherited, and the grief, pain and suffering caused by those possessions, or the emotional attachment to them, can be handed on to their children. What a legacy.

I am thinking of a relative by marriage, very wealthy, huge house, full of stuff he considered valuable. He could never enjoy any of it because it was packed away, and could not enjoy his money because he would not buy what he truly needed and wanted, and agonized over the accounting statements, taxes etc. and got no pleasure out of either money, house or possessions. His daughter spent nearly 2 years going through every scrap of paper and knick knack, afraid she might miss something of value, and lost several opportunties to sell the home by her fear of losing money. It finally went for a fraction of its value to the city who tore it down and scrapped all those valuable “possessions” for a parking lot. Had she been able to sell stuff on e-bay or even had an estate sale she could have at least gotten something for the accumulation of a lifetime.

Having read your post, and sawman’s post, I wish to offer comment.

I, too, was responsible for closing down my mother’s home, along with
assistance from my siblings and their families. Mom had Altzheimers.

I was determined to bring many items to a local church thrift store.
Mom had many nice things, and I figured that someone could buy a nice thing,
which would be good for them, and good for parish finances. It was win-win-win.
[And it was a lot of work - both physical and emotional hard work.]

I’m sure that I have company, in terms of having some of Mom’s possessions in
our attic. Now that Mom is gone, I will again bring most of these things to the
church thrift shop store.

The day that we all gathered to complete the closing of Mom’s home,
the hot, humid summer weather of several days had dispelled - and
that evening, Mom’s family sat in the kitchen, having cake and soda,
looking out at the summer sunset. It was a blessed moment to be with family.

When my time arrives to go back to God, I will have already chosen a very modest casket,
sending the money - saved on the casket - to a Rescue Mission.

For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
-1 Timothy 6

reen