Holiness and popularity

[Monica4316]

I’ve been thinking about something… have the Saints generally been outcasts? If you want to grow in holiness, is this one of the sacrifices you’ll make?

My second question is:

I’ve noticed that I don’t ‘fit in’ much of the time because of my faith. By the way, I’m 23. Even with my Catholic friends, I’m a little quieter/more shy than many and I like talking about spiritual things or reading books or doing other things, rather than going to parties, etc. I’m not saying I’m any more holy by this, people just have different personalities. But Im finding the more I’m growing closer to God, the more I just want to be with Him, and I feel more drawn to deep meaningful friendships than just having tons of acquiantances. I used to consider popularity so important, and now it’s not as important anymore. I feel like a good reason to interact with people would be to just be a good friend and be like Christ to them, but going to parties, and all the other things people my age seem to do, just doesn’t appeal to me… is there something wrong with me, or am I doing the right thing?

for example, sometimes my friends talk about bars, pubs, or clubs that they like to go to, and I don’t go to any and I’m not into that sort of thing. I know that again, I’m not any more holy by this. I’m kind of switching topics here… what type of social life should we have as Catholics?

 

[Monica4316]

I just noticed too… Im much happier going to Adoration, reading spiritual books, helping people, spending time with my family, talking to close friends, etc, - than going to parties or socializing… I think that’s just my personality… but is there anyone else like this here? often I feel kind of alone in this, lol, though I have a very close friend who’s the same way. But I just can’t get into what my most people my age do. Some people I know think that I need to “get out more”, but I’m happy living this way… and I don’t know, if I’m right or wrong. when I read about the Saints who lived in monasteries, or those who didn’t live in monasteries but lived a very spiritual life, like St Gemma, I feel that’s so beautiful and meaningful, and I’m drawn to that so much. But many people I know are really into parties, shopping, other wordly things, and again I’m not saying I’m any better (I have many sins) but a part of me just wants to not be worldly, - I don’t mean avoid interactions with people, but only interact with others in a meaningful way ,and devote the rest of the time to spiritual activities, prayer, work, works of charity, etc…

 

[Cable]

Hello.
You’re right about it not being a popularity contest. I think you’re fine and that it’s certainly possible you have a calling to the religious life. Have you made a retreat that pertains to discerning your vocation?

 

[Lief_Erikson]

You’re following St. Francis de Sales’ advice very well, Monica. Have you read his “Introduction to the Devout Life”? It’s a very good book and talks about just the kinds of issues you’re describing.

Here’s an online version of it. ccel.org/ccel/desales/devout_life.ii.html

I particularly recommend reading the following chapters.

XVII. On Friendship: Evil and Frivolous Friendship . . .
XVIII. On Frivolous Attachments . . .
XIX. Of Real Friendship . . .
XX. Of the Difference between True and False Friendship . . .
XXI. Remedies against Evil Friendships . . .
XXII. Further Advice concerning Intimacies . . .
XXIV. Of Society and Solitude . . .

Actually, I was just looking through the other chapter titles and I think there are a number of other chapters from Part 3 that might also bless your life.

Chapter IX, “On Gentleness towards Ourselves,” is one good example.

Chapter X is about dealing with anxiety, which might also help.

The Table of Contents is on the left hand bar.

 

[bnbkaine]

I am going to agree with Cable and suggest you may have a calling to a religious life. But even if you don’t, don’t worry about fitting in. Catholics are the original rebels!

 

[Lief_Erikson]

By the way, Monica, I recommend all of Part 4 of “Introduction to the Devout Life.” These chapters appear to practically all be focused on issues you’ve been struggling with for the last few months.

PART IV. CONTAINING NEEDFUL COUNSELS CONCERNING SOME ORDINARY TEMPTATIONS.
CHAPTER I. We must not trifle with the Words of Worldly Wisdom.
CHAPTER II. The need of a Good Courage.
CHAPTER III. Of Temptations, and the difference between experiencing them and consenting to them.
CHAPTER IV. Two striking Illustrations of the same.
CHAPTER V. Encouragement for the Tempted Soul.
CHAPTER VI. When Temptation and Delectation are Sin.
CHAPTER VII. Remedies for Great Occasions.
CHAPTER VIII. How to resist Minor Temptations.
CHAPTER IX. How remedy Minor Temptations.
CHAPTER X. How to strengthen the Heart against Temptation.
CHAPTER XI. Anxiety of Mind.
CHAPTER XII. Of Sadness and Sorrow.
CHAPTER XIII. Of Spiritual and Sensible Consolations, and how to receive them.
CHAPTER XIV. Of Dryness and Spiritual Barrenness.
CHAPTER XV. An Illustration.

ccel.org/ccel/desales/devout_life.toc.html

 

[Student09]

I know what you are talking about. When one has few friends, doesn’t go to parties, thinks about God all the time and goes to church “too much” (not saying it really is too much, but can be perceived that way) it is easy to think there is something “wrong” with yourself. That is the devil talking.

I have always had introverted tendencies, liked time alone, avoided much socializing and been interested in religion; there’s no virtue in that, those are just my natural inclinations. But for years, I fought them when I would have been better off if I had followed them. Every time I have listened to that voice - “Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I should have more friends. Maybe I’m obsessed with religion.” - it has led me into sin. Bad friendships are especially harmful. I would now rather have no friends at all than have bad ones (and by “bad friends” I mean anyone whose company discourages you from spiritual progress, whether they intend to do so or not). In the past I have practically thrown myself into sin because I thought it was “normal.” That was before I knew God …

There is nothing normal about sin. There is nothing normal about going to parties or bars or getting drunk or having meaningless friendships. Common, yes, normal, no.

 

[Student09]

You’re following St. Francis de Sales’ advice very well, Monica. Have you read his “Introduction to the Devout Life”? It’s a very good book and talks about just the kinds of issues you’re describing.
.

I need to read this book! It has been on my reading list for sooo long.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I’ve been thinking about something… have the Saints generally been outcasts? If you want to grow in holiness, is this one of the sacrifices you’ll make?

Hmm… that seems to be a common case as far as I can recall (although I hear that St. Nicholas of Myra was quite a legendary fellow and not necessarily downtrodden). Then there’s St. Joan who awed many military commanders. And remembering what I’ve learned of St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits (who in turn, founded virtually every school I attended from elementary to high school and even now in college ), he had quite a lot of friends even though they too ended up as religious and saints.

My second question is:

I’ve noticed that I don’t ‘fit in’ much of the time because of my faith. By the way, I’m 23. Even with my Catholic friends, I’m a little quieter/more shy than many and I like talking about spiritual things or reading books or doing other things, rather than going to parties, etc. I’m not saying I’m any more holy by this, people just have different personalities. But Im finding the more I’m growing closer to God, the more I just want to be with Him, and I feel more drawn to deep meaningful friendships than just having tons of acquiantances. I used to consider popularity so important, and now it’s not as important anymore. I feel like a good reason to interact with people would be to just be a good friend and be like Christ to them, but going to parties, and all the other things people my age seem to do, just doesn’t appeal to me… is there something wrong with me, or am I doing the right thing?

for example, sometimes my friends talk about bars, pubs, or clubs that they like to go to, and I don’t go to any and I’m not into that sort of thing. I know that again, I’m not any more holy by this. I’m kind of switching topics here… what type of social life should we have as Catholics?

Oh God, I’m not sure about the right thing but I certainly wish I could find a girl like you less than my age over here. Shy religious types are a turn-on for me but also seemingly an impossible find in my area.

Anyways, as long as you don’t feel like you’re turning into something you’re not but rather becoming the person you want to be, then nobody has a right to condemn you.

And guess what? This is coming from someone who is quite the opposite of you. As much as I’m drawn to the conservative morality of the Church, I am not religious. I’d rather read the lives of fictional ninjas, mages, and school girls than the lives of saints, prophets, and evangelists. You’re more likely to see me playing a children’s card game or hunting giant monsters on my PSP than praying the rosary or reading the Bible.

I get frowned on for many of these things by a lot of religious people but do they have a right to tell me who to be? Heck no! I’m me! I’m not about to let anyone turn me into something I’m not.

The same goes for you. If your friends can’t respect you for who you are, then they’re not your friends. If you feel it in your heart that you are a religious person the same way I feel in mine that I’m an eccentric geek, then cherish that feeling!

In short?

Be yourself!

I just noticed too… Im much happier going to Adoration, reading spiritual books, helping people, spending time with my family, talking to close friends, etc, - than going to parties or socializing… I think that’s just my personality… but is there anyone else like this here? often I feel kind of alone in this, lol, though I have a very close friend who’s the same way. But I just can’t get into what my most people my age do. Some people I know think that I need to “get out more”, but I’m happy living this way… and I don’t know, if I’m right or wrong. when I read about the Saints who lived in monasteries, or those who didn’t live in monasteries but lived a very spiritual life, like St Gemma, I feel that’s so beautiful and meaningful, and I’m drawn to that so much. But many people I know are really into parties, shopping, other wordly things, and again I’m not saying I’m any better (I have many sins) but a part of me just wants to not be worldly, - I don’t mean avoid interactions with people, but only interact with others in a meaningful way ,and devote the rest of the time to spiritual activities, prayer, work, works of charity, etc…

If those are things you want and they give you great joy then I don’t see why it’s wrong. Heck, at least you have the advantage of having less exposure to sin if you’re, you know, less into “wordly” things. As long as you don’t force that kind of lifestyle on others, others shouldn’t feel entitled to force their lifestyles on you.

 

[Madeline616]

Monica, don’t believe the lies of the world! You are not abnormal! It is very possible that the Lord has given you a sort of sixth sense, a grace, in the form of the Holy Spirit guiding you to shy away or be repelled by worldly things that could possibly lead you into temptation/evil.

I am a lot like you. I’m 35, and I personally spent my 20s and early thirties bouncing between a very social, very worldly life, and my natural inclination to avoid the worldly. In my early 20s, before I returned to my Catholic faith, I felt dirty, tainted, and full of anxiety as I lived a life that society viewed as “normal.”

One of Satan’s great lies is that the worldly, partying life and the sin that inevitably comes with it are “normal.”

The desire to become a saint should be the norm for every Christian.The voices of the world, the majority, are usually out of tune with those striving for holiness.

The good news is that time passes quickly, and as you enter your mid-to-late 20s and later, your friends tend to pair off and start families, naturally retreating into tamer, calmer lives.

I couldn’t agree more with the suggestion to read the particular chapters in St. Francis de Sales’ Philothea that speak to these issues. That book changed my life ! It’s readily available, but if you have trouble getting a copy, PM me and I’ll send you one!

 

[Student09]

Monica - just glancing over those chapters Lief Erikson mentioned, I came across this quote which is very reassuring to me and, I think, will be to you also!

From Part IV, ch. III:

“Be then very courageous amid temptation, and never imagine yourself conquered so long as it is displeasing to you, ever bearing in mind the difference between experiencing and consenting to temptation, —that difference being, that whereas they may be experienced while most displeasing to us, we can never consent to them without taking pleasure in them, inasmuch as pleasure felt in a temptation is usually the first step towards consent. So let the enemies of our salvation spread as many snares and wiles in our way as they will, let them besiege the door of our heart perpetually, let them ply us with endless proposals to sin,—so long as we abide in our firm resolution to take no pleasure therein, we cannot offend God.”

and another:

St. Catherine of Sienna has left a somewhat similar record. The Evil One having obtained permission from God to assault that pious virgin with all his strength, so long as he laid no hand upon her, filled her heart with impure suggestions, and surrounded her with every conceivable temptation of sight and sound, which, penetrating 301 into the Saint’s heart, so filled it, that, as she herself has said, nothing remained free save her most acute superior will. This struggle endured long, until at length Our Lord appeared to her, and she exclaimed, “Where wert Thou, O most Dear Lord, when my heart was so overwhelmed with darkness and foulness?” Whereupon He answered, “I was within thy heart, My child.” “How could that be, Lord,” she asked, “when it was so full of evil? Canst Thou abide in a place so foul?” Then our Lord replied, “Tell Me, did these evil thoughts and imaginations give thee pain or pleasure? didst thou take delight, or didst thou grieve over them?” To which S. Catherine made answer, “They grieved me exceedingly.” Then the Lord said, “Who, thinkest thou, was it that caused thee to be thus grieved, save I Myself, hidden within thy soul? Believe Me, My child, had I not been there, these evil thoughts which swarmed around thy soul, and which thou couldst not banish, would speedily have overpowered it, and entering in, thy free will would have accepted them, and so death had struck that soul; but inasmuch as I was there, I filled thy heart with reluctance and resistance, so that it set itself stedfastly against the temptation, and finding itself unable to contend as vigorously as it desired, it did but experience a yet more vehement 302 abhorrence of sin and of itself. Thus these very troubles became a great merit again to thee, and a great accession of virtue and strength to thy soul.”

I know these aren’t exactly on topic with this thread, but relevant to other things we have talked about recently. Now I need to go read the chapter titled “Anxiety of Mind.”

 

[Dorothy]

Monica,

What you prefer to do is fine! Others may have to make many mistakes and live through much hardship before they realize how distracting seeking worldly pleasures are. You are very blessed.

 

[Portrait]

Dear Monica,

How very heartening it is to hear from a young Catholic who feels so deeply the call to pursue holiness. Good for you! Not enough Catholic young people are, I fear, in this age of dissipation heeding the Gospel call to sanctity and separation from the world. The writer to the Hebrews exhorts us to strive “for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (Heb. 12: 14). Now a vital part of holiness is separation from the godless and brash world around us - “Therefore come out from them, and be separate from them, says the Lord” (II Cor. 6: 17). In your own case this may or may not entail the summons to the religious life, that is clearly something that you yourself must determine following much careful, prayerful thought and serious discussion with your parish priest. Be that as it may, we are all of us called to sanctity and separation and to feel such a call, as you quite evidently do, is one of the grand indications of a work of grace in the heart. So Monica keep on keeping on striving to be pure and holy and allow no fear of being thought of as singular or unpopular deter you. Our Church desperately needs devout people like yourelf in these days of Laodicean compromise with the world (see Apoc. 3: 14-22).

Unfortunately, there is a widespread desire within the Church to make things pleasant in religion and to avoid anything that even whiffs of self-denial or sacrifice. Thus there are many vociferously declaring that we must not be too prissy or overscrupulous and that there is no harm in indulging in all manner of worldly amusements; we may plunge into almost anything that appeals to our senses without incurring any spiritual loss. Now all this is wholly at variance with the teaching of Sacred Scripture and the lives of the saints. Those who talk in this manner have apparently forgotten that the whole course of this life is a state of probation and that we are admonished by St. Paul to “work out our own salvation with* fear* and trembling”. Entering into the life everlasting is an arduous business involving keeping short accounts with God, prayer, self-denial and a taking up of the cross daily. It may also involve, especially among your age group, being branded a “Puritan prude”, a “joyless prigg” and probably many other abusive and uncharitable epithets, but please do not be discouraged, Jesus and our Lady will comfort and sustain you so that you will be able to stand firm in the face of any hostility.

The fact that we are God’s children and redeemed by His beloved Son should really have a profound impact upon our priorities and the way we live each day. Even an immoderate use of that which is not in itself sinful can become a great hindrance to us; we must rid ourselves of all that would retard us in the life of faith. All that does not help has a tendency to hinder. Thus we should be renouncing “irreligion and worldly passions” and living sober, “upright and godly lives in this world” (Titus 2: 12). However, all too many Catholics nowadays, young and old alike, are quite satisfied with a hand in hand with the world type of religion that makes no real demands and that allows one to remain devoted to salacious TV programmes and films, unwholesome novels with questionable content and rock and pop music with its occultic and heavy sexual overtones. This is nothing more than “Catholicism Lite”, to use George Weigel’s amusing turn of phrase, and is utterly contrary to St. Paul’s exhortation: “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good, acceptable and perfect” (Rom. 12: 2).

Alas, so many Catholics are hardly distinguishable from their pagan neighbours nowadays, except for the fact that they fulfill their Sunday obligation (though by their want of elagant attire one could be forgiven for thinking that they were attending a car boot sale and not Holy Mass!). Standards have declined everywhere and we content oursevles with a worldly lukewarm style of religion that is thoroughly nauseating both to our Lord and, to some extent, the ungodly because they quite rightly expect better from us. Far too many Catholics are like the Laodicean’s over in the Apocalypse; tepid, flabby, half-hearted, limp, always ready to compromise, indifferent; such straddlers are a disgrace to our most holy Faith and ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Monica, I will remember you before the throne of heavenly grace in my prayers. May God make clear to you in the coming days His will for your life and may He fill your heart with love for Jesus and our lady. May you also become increasingly more holy and finally obtain the crown of life which He has promised to those that truly love Him.

Warmest good wishes and prayers,

Portrait

 

[cctabb]

Take a look at your age group historically. It has only been the last few decades that people in their early 20s weren’t married - especially women.

I think our culture prolongs adolescence and immaturity far longer than is healthy.

You’ve hit your maturity earlier than others your age. As the other posters have said, there is nothing wrong with your lifestyle.

I sit here at 43 and wish I had been devout for the first 30 years of my life. So many actions I deeply regret that wouldn’t have happened if I’d let Jesus and my faith into my life so much more often than I did.

Keep up the good work and ask God to send a like-minded friend your way.

 

[Portrait]

Take a look at your age group historically. It has only been the last few decades that people in their early 20s weren’t married - especially women.

I think our culture prolongs adolescence and immaturity far longer than is healthy.

You’ve hit your maturity earlier than others your age. As the other posters have said, there is nothing wrong with your lifestyle.

I sit here at 43 and wish I had been devout for the first 30 years of my life. So many actions I deeply regret that wouldn’t have happened if I’d let Jesus and my faith into my life so much more often than I did.

Keep up the good work and ask God to send a like-minded friend your way.

Dear cctabb,

When you state that you “think our culture prolongs adolescence and immaturity far longer than is healthy”, you echo my sentiments entirely.

I firmly believe and truly that the so called ubiquitous nerd humour and inane TV programmes for the intellectually challenged are also fostering this peurile immaturity among our young people. Sadly the Church has not really denounced this culturally unhealthy bilge and so it has continued unabated and unchallenged. So many of our vulnerable young people have been brainwashed by this material and it has also had a profound impact upon society at large in terms of anti-social behaviour, dereliction of duty, lack of respect for authority and a general courseness and superficiality that seems permeate the western world nowadays. Our lot is cast in very troublous times indeed and it is becoming increasingly more difficult to be a Christian, or at least one who is thorough going and who is not prepared to trim their sails to the spirit of the age.

Young ladies like Monica need our prayers for they must struggle with so many temptations and often meet with much hostility from their peers. May God give them grace to persevere and live their lives courageously in these perilous times.

Warmest good wishes,

Portrait

 

[MtnDwellar]

Hi Monica,

I went through a period where I felt very lonely. The reason that I felt lonely was that I was becoming increasingly aware of God’s presence and the need for me to live a spiritual life. The things that I was learning and discovering were not accepted by most people. I had to keep them to myself. It is lonely when you cannot share the most important things in your life. And, to make it more lonely, the interests of others seemed very unimportant to me. We no longer had much in common.

I brought the subject to my spiritual adviser. This man never seemed lonely. His home was usually teaming with friends and visitors. He told me that he is lonely. He said that he cannot even share his spirituality with his wife of 25 years. He agreed that a life with God is lonely in that sense.

What about all of the people? How did they get there? What I figured out is that the man is full of love. People are drawn to him, the same way that I was drawn. He shows God’s love in all interactions. I introduced him to my friends. They can usually feel it on an initial meeting.

All of our lives will be different. I pray that I can become more like my adviser.

 

[Monica4316]

Hello.
You’re right about it not being a popularity contest. I think you’re fine and that it’s certainly possible you have a calling to the religious life. Have you made a retreat that pertains to discerning your vocation?

I often feel like I might have a vocation but there are so many things in the way. I don’t understand why God would give me this desire when my circumstances are preventing me from doing anything about it, but I know He does everything for a reason, and if this is from Him, it will work out. Even if not, maybe He wants to test my trust in Him.

You’re following St. Francis de Sales’ advice very well, Monica. Have you read his “Introduction to the Devout Life”? It’s a very good book and talks about just the kinds of issues you’re describing.

Here’s an online version of it. ccel.org/ccel/desales/devout_life.ii.html

I particularly recommend reading the following chapters.

XVII. On Friendship: Evil and Frivolous Friendship . . .
XVIII. On Frivolous Attachments . . .
XIX. Of Real Friendship . . .
XX. Of the Difference between True and False Friendship . . .
XXI. Remedies against Evil Friendships . . .
XXII. Further Advice concerning Intimacies . . .
XXIV. Of Society and Solitude . . .

Actually, I was just looking through the other chapter titles and I think there are a number of other chapters from Part 3 that might also bless your life.

Chapter IX, “On Gentleness towards Ourselves,” is one good example.

Chapter X is about dealing with anxiety, which might also help.

The Table of Contents is on the left hand bar.

thanks! I have the book, but I haven’t read it yet (except the chapter on friendship, and temptation). I think I should read it then, it seems to be written for laypeople is that correct? It might help me figure out how to live a holy life in the world, where I am…

I am going to agree with Cable and suggest you may have a calling to a religious life. But even if you don’t, don’t worry about fitting in. Catholics are the original rebels!

very true!

 

[Monica4316]

I know what you are talking about. When one has few friends, doesn’t go to parties, thinks about God all the time and goes to church “too much” (not saying it really is too much, but can be perceived that way) it is easy to think there is something “wrong” with yourself. That is the devil talking.

I have always had introverted tendencies, liked time alone, avoided much socializing and been interested in religion; there’s no virtue in that, those are just my natural inclinations. But for years, I fought them when I would have been better off if I had followed them. Every time I have listened to that voice - “Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I should have more friends. Maybe I’m obsessed with religion.” - it has led me into sin. Bad friendships are especially harmful. I would now rather have no friends at all than have bad ones (and by “bad friends” I mean anyone whose company discourages you from spiritual progress, whether they intend to do so or not). In the past I have practically thrown myself into sin because I thought it was “normal.” That was before I knew God …

There is nothing normal about sin. There is nothing normal about going to parties or bars or getting drunk or having meaningless friendships. Common, yes, normal, no.

I agree!! I’ve dealt with all those things too… trying to “fit in” in the world and trying out sin, but it only left me depressed afterwards. Then I wondered if I was truly normal, - for the same reasons.

Hmm… that seems to be a common case as far as I can recall (although I hear that St. Nicholas of Myra was quite a legendary fellow and not necessarily downtrodden). Then there’s St. Joan who awed many military commanders. And remembering what I’ve learned of St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits (who in turn, founded virtually every school I attended from elementary to high school and even now in college ), he had quite a lot of friends even though they too ended up as religious and saints.

That is true… I don’t really understand myself sometimes, because I do have many friends, but the thing is I enjoy talking about spiritual things or praying more than socializing. So I enjoy spending time with my friends, but more so with my Catholic friends, for these reasons. (and because with Catholic friends, we share something that’s so deep and special in our lives).

Oh God, I’m not sure about the right thing but I certainly wish I could find a girl like you less than my age over here. Shy religious types are a turn-on for me but also seemingly an impossible find in my area.

Anyways, as long as you don’t feel like you’re turning into something you’re not but rather becoming the person you want to be, then nobody has a right to condemn you.

And guess what? This is coming from someone who is quite the opposite of you. As much as I’m drawn to the conservative morality of the Church, I am not religious. I’d rather read the lives of fictional ninjas, mages, and school girls than the lives of saints, prophets, and evangelists. You’re more likely to see me playing a children’s card game or hunting giant monsters on my PSP than praying the rosary or reading the Bible.

I get frowned on for many of these things by a lot of religious people but do they have a right to tell me who to be? Heck no! I’m me! I’m not about to let anyone turn me into something I’m not.

The same goes for you. If your friends can’t respect you for who you are, then they’re not your friends. If you feel it in your heart that you are a religious person the same way I feel in mine that I’m an eccentric geek, then cherish that feeling!

In short?

Be yourself!

If those are things you want and they give you great joy then I don’t see why it’s wrong. Heck, at least you have the advantage of having less exposure to sin if you’re, you know, less into “wordly” things. As long as you don’t force that kind of lifestyle on others, others shouldn’t feel entitled to force their lifestyles on you.

haha… thanks I agree that friends should respect who we are.

 

[Monica4316]

By the way, Monica, I recommend all of Part 4 of “Introduction to the Devout Life.” These chapters appear to practically all be focused on issues you’ve been struggling with for the last few months.

PART IV. CONTAINING NEEDFUL COUNSELS CONCERNING SOME ORDINARY TEMPTATIONS.
CHAPTER I. We must not trifle with the Words of Worldly Wisdom.
CHAPTER II. The need of a Good Courage.
CHAPTER III. Of Temptations, and the difference between experiencing them and consenting to them.
CHAPTER IV. Two striking Illustrations of the same.
CHAPTER V. Encouragement for the Tempted Soul.
CHAPTER VI. When Temptation and Delectation are Sin.
CHAPTER VII. Remedies for Great Occasions.
CHAPTER VIII. How to resist Minor Temptations.
CHAPTER IX. How remedy Minor Temptations.
CHAPTER X. How to strengthen the Heart against Temptation.
CHAPTER XI. Anxiety of Mind.
CHAPTER XII. Of Sadness and Sorrow.
CHAPTER XIII. Of Spiritual and Sensible Consolations, and how to receive them.
CHAPTER XIV. Of Dryness and Spiritual Barrenness.
CHAPTER XV. An Illustration.

ccel.org/ccel/desales/devout_life.toc.html

thanks!

 

[Monica4316]

Monica, don’t believe the lies of the world! You are not abnormal! It is very possible that the Lord has given you a sort of sixth sense, a grace, in the form of the Holy Spirit guiding you to shy away or be repelled by worldly things that could possibly lead you into temptation/evil.

I am a lot like you. I’m 35, and I personally spent my 20s and early thirties bouncing between a very social, very worldly life, and my natural inclination to avoid the worldly. In my early 20s, before I returned to my Catholic faith, I felt dirty, tainted, and full of anxiety as I lived a life that society viewed as “normal.”

One of Satan’s great lies is that the worldly, partying life and the sin that inevitably comes with it are “normal.”

The desire to become a saint should be the norm for every Christian.The voices of the world, the majority, are usually out of tune with those striving for holiness.

The good news is that time passes quickly, and as you enter your mid-to-late 20s and later, your friends tend to pair off and start families, naturally retreating into tamer, calmer lives.

I couldn’t agree more with the suggestion to read the particular chapters in St. Francis de Sales’ Philothea that speak to these issues. That book changed my life ! It’s readily available, but if you have trouble getting a copy, PM me and I’ll send you one!

thanks for the encouragement!

Monica - just glancing over those chapters Lief Erikson mentioned, I came across this quote which is very reassuring to me and, I think, will be to you also!

From Part IV, ch. III:

and another:

I know these aren’t exactly on topic with this thread, but relevant to other things we have talked about recently. Now I need to go read the chapter titled “Anxiety of Mind.”

thanks that does help! I’m afriad that a few times I did truly give in… I hope the Lord forgives me. But He has helped me many times and has kept me safe from agreeing with the thoughts.

Monica,

What you prefer to do is fine! Others may have to make many mistakes and live through much hardship before they realize how distracting seeking worldly pleasures are. You are very blessed.

I’ve made mistakes too, but I’m glad that God brought me to Himself before it got even worse. (which it would have…) I’m glad that I know Him now

God bless