Holy Communion Issue Help

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CatholicRoseGrl

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Hi Everyone,

Im becoming catholic and gonna start my RCIA classes this Thursday but have a major issue / Problem. Im married and my husband was raised in the Catholic Church and was baptized as a baby so he says. He stopped going to mass when he came of age to decide to do that. That was wayyy before I met him and we dated got engaged and married. SO now the church sees my marriage invalid and there for can not partake in the holy communion ( talking about after I go thru my RICA and become Catholic) And the only way to fix this is by doing a marriage blessing ceremony or if he wasn’t baptized in the church then the catholic church would see our marriage as vaild tho which I would have to lie about it I just don’t know what to do if my husband doesn’t what to do it ( marriage blessing ceremony ) cause to him its like saying hes made a mistake and coming back then he said that he wants to serve God and said something about communion that is an open table at the church hes at now. To me it just sounds selfish and its not about him but its about me being able to partake in the holy communion. So if he decides not to do this marriage blessing ceremony is there anything I can do so that I can make it that I can partake of the communion once I finish my RCIA class?

Thanks
CatholicRoseGrl
 
Hi Everyone,

Im becoming catholic and gonna start my RCIA classes this Thursday but have a major issue / Problem. Im married and my husband was raised in the Catholic Church and was baptized as a baby so he says. He stopped going to mass when he came of age to decide to do that. That was wayyy before I met him and we dated got engaged and married. SO now the church sees my marriage invalid and there for can not partake in the holy communion ( talking about after I go thru my RICA and become Catholic) And the only way to fix this is by doing a marriage blessing ceremony or if he wasn’t baptized in the church then the catholic church would see our marriage as vaild tho which I would have to lie about it I just don’t know what to do if my husband doesn’t what to do it ( marriage blessing ceremony ) cause to him its like saying hes made a mistake and coming back then he said that he wants to serve God and said something about communion that is an open table at the church hes at now. To me it just sounds selfish and its not about him but its about me being able to partake in the holy communion. So if he decides not to do this marriage blessing ceremony is there anything I can do so that I can make it that I can partake of the communion once I finish my RCIA class?

Thanks
CatholicRoseGrl
 
First of all, don’t worry too much about bad things that might possibly happen. What if your husband cheerfully agrees to have your marriage convalidated (commonly called “blessed”)? Perhaps he would be happy to do this for you!

But if it turns out that he refuses to participate, there is another option called a radical sanation that doesn’t require his participation.

Whatever happens, you’re going to be working with your pastor and he will be knowledgeable about what is needed and what your options are.

Welcome home!
 
Responded to the same thread in the liturgy & sacraments forum.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
First of all, don’t worry too much about bad things that might possibly happen. What if your husband cheerfully agrees to have your marriage convalidated (commonly called “blessed”)? Perhaps he would be happy to do this for you!

But if it turns out that he refuses to participate, there is another option called a radical sanation that doesn’t require his participation.

Whatever happens, you’re going to be working with your pastor and he will be knowledgeable about what is needed and what your options are.

Welcome home!
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SuscipeMeDomine -

So whatever happens in the end I will be able to take part of the holy sacraments? Also how does that radical sanation work?
 
CatholicRoseGrl said:
which I would have to lie about it
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That is not an option.
CatholicRoseGrl said:
I just don’t know what to do if my husband doesn’t what to do it ( marriage blessing ceremony )
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If he does not want to do a convalidation, talk to your pastor about radical sanation. It is an option that does not require new consent. It does not require your husband to participate.
CatholicRoseGrl said:
So if he decides not to do this marriage blessing ceremony is there anything I can do so that I can make it that I can partake of the communion once I finish my RCIA class?
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Yes. Please talk to your pastor. Your pastor has care of you and will walk through things step by step. No need to fret about this, he will assist you.
 
SO no matter which way he decides on Ya or Na ill still have a way of making the marriage valid in the catholic church then right so I can take communion ?.?.?.?.?.
 
CatholicRoseGrl said:
SO no matter which way he decides on Ya or Na ill still have a way of making the marriage valid in the catholic church then right so I can take communion ?.?.?.?.?.
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Have you talked to your pastor? He can probably help you much more than a bunch of strangers on the internet
 
Assuming that neither of you has any prior marriages with still living spouses, yes, your marriage can be blessed by the Church one way or the other. Talk to your pastor about this. These marriage convalidation situations happen all the time.
 
Stephen_says said:
Have you talked to your pastor? He can probably help you much more than a bunch of strangers on the internet
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Ive been in contact with the director of the RCIA about it. He told me that he would have to go talk to some other people that are more knowledgeable in it. I could also email him back and suggest the radical sanation as an opt if hubs says no. But the stress is just eating me up and trying to figure out another way if the main one which is that marriage blessing falls thru. So that I would be able to take holy communion after I become Catholic.
 
PaulfromIowa said:
Assuming that neither of you has any prior marriages with still living spouses, yes, your marriage can be blessed by the Church one way or the other. Talk to your pastor about this. These marriage convalidation situations happen all the time.
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But the issue is my hubs I feel doesn’t want to do it but he did say that he would pray and think about it for a month but I feel like hes just going to say no and just telling me that cause he doesn’t want me hounding him about it and just buying time too.
 
CatholicRoseGrl said:
But the issue is my hubs I feel doesn’t want to do it but he did say that he would pray and think about it for a month but I feel like hes just going to say no and just telling me that cause he doesn’t want me hounding him about it and just buying time too.
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Please. Talk. To. Your. Pastor.

I understand your concerns and the stress they cause you, but your pastor is the best person to advise you in this situation. He is the one who can help you. Approach him with trust in the Lord.

Praying for you. God bless.
 
OP, try to focus on Christian peace and happiness, not anxiety and worry. Ideally, your husband will return to the Church eventually. Pray for him every day.
 
PaulfromIowa said:
OP, try to focus on Christian peace and happiness, not anxiety and worry. Ideally, your husband will return to the Church eventually. Pray for him every day.
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Im not worried about him coming back to the church that is he’s choice and I respect that even tho he really didn’t tell me the full truth of as y he has / had left the church when he did . I will just leave that in the hands of God for his will to be done . The only thing im worried about and stressed about is if he doesn’t do the marriage blessing thing then I will not be ever allowed to take part in the communion. 😦
 
UpUpAndAway said:
Please. Talk. To. Your. Pastor.

I understand your concerns and the stress they cause you, but your pastor is the best person to advise you in this situation. He is the one who can help you. Approach him with trust in the Lord.

Praying for you. God bless.
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The only person that can help you is your priest!

My situation was similar, I was the Catholic party in our marriage. My husband did want to be Catholic! No one, not the church secretary, not the rcia director, not the deacon (actually two deacons) knew how to help us. We tried seven different parishes! I gave up trying, my husband (the non-Catholic) finally found a priest who helped him and me and blessed our marriage (in our case a convalidation).

The only complication in my case was that I was never confirmed.
 
CatholicRoseGrl said:
Im not worried about him coming back to the church that is he’s choice and I respect that even tho he really didn’t tell me the full truth of as y he has / had left the church when he did the only thing im worried about and stressed about is if he doesn’t do the marriage blessing thing then I will not be ever allowed to take part in the communion. 😦
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Talk to your priest or a priest. We found an Eastern Catholic priest.
 
Casilda said:
The only person that can help you is your priest!

My situation was similar, I was the Catholic party in our marriage. My husband did want to be Catholic! No one, not the church secretary, not the rcia director, not the deacon (actually two deacons) knew how to help us. We tried seven different parishes! I gave up trying, my husband (the non-Catholic) finally found a priest who helped him and me and blessed our marriage (in our case a convalidation).

The only complication in my case was that I was never confirmed.
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My Parish seems like it was a God directed towards me so im hoping and praying that they would be able to help me and be flexible in doing so
 
CatholicRoseGrl said:
My Parish seems like it was a God directed towards me so im hoping and praying that they would be able to help me and be flexible in doing so
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As oodles of people have said.
Yes, your priest will help you.
Go speak to him.
 
CatholicRoseGrl said:
Im not worried about him coming back to the church that is he’s choice and I respect that even tho he really didn’t tell me the full truth of as y he has / had left the church when he did . I will just leave that in the hands of God for his will to be done . The only thing im worried about and stressed about is if he doesn’t do the marriage blessing thing then I will not be ever allowed to take part in the communion. 😦
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Be at peace! If he doesn’t cooperate now he may later. Meanwhile take time to talk to your pastor and find out about the radical sanation procedure. God bless you and lead you.
 
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