Homeless Man asked me for money

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brian24

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After the occasion that I will describe, I felt somewhat bad about doing what I did. I’m looking for advice on if something like this happens again, what I should do. Thank you in advance.

I take walks ever day, and yesterday I was hanging out at a suspension bridge in town praying and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. Some people crossed the bridge and I said hello. Then an older man, in not the best of shape, comes up and starts talking to me. We had an alright conversation, although he clearly had me mistaken for someone he knew. He seemed to be perpetually drunk. I couldn’t smell anything, but he acted drunk. I think I had seen him before, but he said “I haven’t seen you in 15 years!” I would have been 9 at the time. So we talk for a while, and then he says “Can I ask you for a favor?” I said “Sure.” He then asked me for a couple dollars. I honestly did not have any on me. When we were talking before this, I noticed he had a bag with 2 - 24 oz. beers in it. I told him that even if I did have money on me, I was afraid he would just use my money to go buy more alcohol.

He walked away and told me he was in life for hell, and I said “You know you can always change that” and as he stumbled away and mumbled on and on he said “You’re right I can.”

What would Jesus do in a situation like that (assuming he has money to give)? Would offering to take him somewhere to buy some food be the right thing or just not to give at all? He obviously could use the money more than I, but subsidizing a problem that may be part of why he is in the situation he is in doesn’t sit right with me.
 
Give some money to a local charity who offers help to such people. That way you know the money will be put to good use.

Offering to buy someone some food is a good idea too. Again, you know the money isn’t wasted. Moreover, it gives a very direct Christian witness to that person.

What would Jesus do? He would love the person. How would He love them? I don’t know. We can only do the best we can with as much wisdom as God has allowed us.
 
I try not to question what they are spending it on. All know is that they are in need. What that need is doesn’t matter to me. Even if you don’t have money to give, just acknowledge their existence and say that you don’t have any.

Also, regarding alcohol in particular; a heavy alcoholic can die without alcohol so they need that more than food. It’s a sad situation where the only thing you can do is offer a very small comfort.
 
It’s not really our place to judge how these people would use the money we give them (Christ would give this money to him anyways and simply pray for the man’s intentions and that he can be free from his vices).

We have to remember to be child-like in our faith (a child would never worry about how his/her donated money would be spent)!
 
Thank you for your replies. The main reason I felt kind of bad after this is that I judged him, and we all know Matthew 7

1
1 2 "Stop judging, that you may not be judged.
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For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.
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Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?
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How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye?
 
You’re never supposed to give money to homeless people. If you have money, offer to buy them a meal, if they refuse(which they often do, you’ll know that aren’t really in taht much need). But if they could control their addictions they wouldn’t be homeless. If someone gives them money the first thing they’ll do is buy beer, or drugs.
 
If you give him money, he may use it for wine or something. Try to pick up a meal at McDonald’s for him. Maybe you could give him some of your old clothes.
 
You treated him with decency and respect, you had a conversation with him, you encouraged him (You can change), you didn’t give him the money and told him why, that’s what Jesus would do, brother.
 
Robertanthony said:
You treated him with decency and respect, you had a conversation with him, you encouraged him (You can change), you didn’t give him the money and told him why, that’s what Jesus would do, brother.
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My thoughts exactly. You handled the situation very well. You couldn’t have handled it better.

There is a difference in helping someone (charity) and letting someone take advantage of your kindness. Jesus would have probably done the same thing: treated him with kindness but then instructed him to change his ways, because it sounds to me he is in the situation he is in because he’s a drunk.
 
What would Jesus do? He changed water into wine; maybe he could change beer into water. Or something tastier, like . . . mayby chocolate milk?

(You did just fine.)
 
Alot of them in my city say they are collecting money for a room at the hostel
and they always say they only need another 40, 50 or bucks or so to get the room

often they accept a coffee or sandwich or pie if you buy it for them,but even after that they still ask for money on top

If you got to know one of them fairly well and trusted he would use the money for shelter would that be a bad thing?

or you could take them to the shelter and pay for the room yourself to ensure.
 
MidnightSun12 said:
It’s not really our place to judge how these people would use the money we give them (Christ would give this money to him anyways and simply pray for the man’s intentions and that he can be free from his vices).
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Not according to the Bible. Jesus never, ever gave money to beggars. He healed them so that they could get jobs and earn their living honestly.

Obviously we can’t heal people miraculously, but we can steer them toward the help they need, and support the helping agencies.
 
When I see people in that situation, I always give them food or offer to buy them a meal.
 
brian24 said:
After the occasion that I will describe, I felt somewhat bad about doing what I did. I’m looking for advice on if something like this happens again, what I should do. Thank you in advance…
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I used to live in a city where I got panhandled all the time. You could carry some of those meal tickets, you know, gift certificates for a local fast food place. I just gave 'em cash if I had it. What they do with it is up to them, IMO. I don’t know what Jesus would do, since He had perfect knowledge, but He said if someone asks, give. I’m not saying you should, but you asked about Jesus.
 
jmcrae said:
Not according to the Bible. Jesus never, ever gave money to beggars. He healed them so that they could get jobs and earn their living honestly.

Obviously we can’t heal people miraculously, but we can steer them toward the help they need, and support the helping agencies.
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Thanks for the reply, JM!

My thoughts are that if a poor person is asking for food, then I think taking him for lunch or providing a food ticket is absolutely acceptable. On the other hand, if a beggar is asking for money then how do we know if offering only food would be addressing the needs that are behind his request? For example, what if this poor person had some bad loans that he had to pay off, or if he was looking to buy a pair of mitts for the cold season? I just think we run the risk of judging rashly when we make the decision that a person asking for money should recieve charitable assistance of a different nature then what they are asking for. It’s also way less stressful when we can just give freely without worrying about whether our charity is being recieved in a way that meets our personal standards and trusting it to God! 🙂 .

Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with going above the call and offering both a lunch and a few extra dollars! 😃
 
A couple of weeks ago I was driving home and saw a homeless lady on the side of the road. I pulled into a parking lot and walked over to her and told her I was going to the grocery store, and asked her if she wanted anything. She asked for a gallon of milk for her kids. I walked to the store (about 5 min walk) and bought her the milk and a bag of apples. The best part about it was some girls who were driving by saw it, and gave her a few dollars (although they might have been planning on doing so anyway). So I’m not sure how specifically you should handle that situation, but maybe you can get something from my story - offer to buy him food instead of give him money, maybe. It’s harder for you since the guy you met was probably an alcoholic, while I think the lady I met was truly in desperate need, and wasn’t spending the money on booze.
 
I think it’s a bad idea to give beggars money. Too many street people, for one reason or another, have given into a life of addiction and will likely spend what little money they accumulate perpetuating that lifestyle.

Jesus didn’t command us to give money to the poor. He commanded us to care for them by feeding them, giving them drink, clothing them, etc. If you are not able to give them food or clothing directly, or if they refuse it, donate to a trustworthy local charity, as others here have suggested.

It is bad for everyone when we enable people to sin by giving them cash that may very well end up in a drug dealer’s pocket. It’s one of those bitter truths of our society.
 
brian24 said:
What would Jesus do in a situation like that (assuming he has money to give)?
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Basically the question boils down to, “How would Jesus let himself be played?”

This man’s fellow beggars don’t even play that game with each other. Wise up, Brian.
 
brian24 said:
What would Jesus do in a situation like that (assuming he has money to give)?
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Well I can’t claim to know what Jesus would do. But I would point out that Jesus did not spend His whole life doing nothing but healing and feeding. He was not a monolithic person as some people portray him. He also spent time alone in prayer and fasting. He even escaped the crowds. Prayer is certainly a gift you can always give anyone. Sometimes we discount spiritual gifts and think our gifts must always be physical. I do not think you have to give money to every person that asks you. As others have said in those situations I think it better to give someone food than money. But many will not take the food they claim to need the money for and Jesus certainly did not ask us to give up our reason.
 
There’s no need to feel guilty for not giving a homeless person money and walking away because most of the time homeless people spend money for the wrong reasons and it’s usually to support nasty habbits such as smoking, alcohol, drugs etc.
 
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