Homeless Man Sleeping in Church

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Today I went to daily mass at a Cathedral in a major US city. Before confession, a homeless man came up to each person standing in line, gave his story about being sick with AIDS and asked for money. I gave him money, but I had a funny feeling about it. Just after confession, as I was walking to the pews to sit down for mass, I noticed that another homeless man was sleeping in one of the pews and so I purposefully sat closer to the front to put distance between me and the man. I prayed the rosary and then mass began. Halfway through mass I felt really bad about my actions and I was afraid that I had just walked out of confession only to commit a private (potentially mortal?) sin right away.

I have two questions:
  1. Was what I did mortal, or was my sense of sin heightened because I just left confession and prayed the rosary? (My sins have seemed to be really stark now, after starting daily rosary - has anyone else had this occur? Btw, I am not scrupulous.)
  2. How do others react to homeless people at Church?
Here’s a bit of background on my interactions with the homeless: My first instinct is always to recoil from homeless people. I am not proud of that. A few years ago, I did just that while walking with one of my friends. As I hurriedly passed, the homeless man called my name. That stopped me in my tracks. I looked harder and noticed that I recognized the man. It was my uncle! After that I felt really convicted about having a heart for the homeless, but my gut reaction has remained the same. Most of this is because they smell bad. A few weeks ago I was eating at a mall eatery in San Francisco and a homeless man sat right next to me and started eating off the plates nearby. He smelled terrible. I lost my appetite and sat uncomfortably silent, another man’s reaction was to shoo him away, and my husband’s first reaction was to give him some food. I wish that my gut reaction was like my husbands! I do try to give money to the homeless if asked (but I am not always consistent).
 
nsm said:
Today I went to daily mass at a Cathedral in a major US city. Before confession, a homeless man came up to each person standing in line, gave his story about being sick with AIDS and asked for money. I gave him money, but I had a funny feeling about it. Just after confession, as I was walking to the pews to sit down for mass, I noticed that another homeless man was sleeping in one of the pews and so I purposefully sat closer to the front to put distance between me and the man. I prayed the rosary and then mass began. Halfway through mass I felt really bad about my actions.
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I used to be very blessed to live in Denver and to take the bus to the Basilica for Mass downtown. I met lots of street people that way. I miss them now. But I would always move up and away from a homeless person sleeping in a pew. You have to take people as they come, and many are just fine people. But in fact, one of the homeless guys at my bustop on a Monday, shot two people and himself at that bus stop on Tuesday. You are going to be engaged with Mass, attention diverted. Go sit up front.

I don’t fear homeless people, but I do believe we get to have sensible boundaries. I will tell you, though, what I think the homeless appreciate more than the money. If you look them in the eyes like they are anyone else and smile and bless them when you hand them whatever you are giving. If they are going to panhandle you, greet them first. Offer the money, don’t make them ask. I really miss them.

Winter’s coming. Maybe we could pray for them every day. God bless you so much for caring.
 
Sin? No
foolish? Yes.

We have problems here with parishoners being near attacked by homeless once word got around. You have made yourself a target.

There are many catholic orginizations to help. Best donate to them. Even if you dont want to give money to the organization they would know who it is safe and wise to give money to.
 
My “funny feeling” about giving the money was twofold. First, I worried that he wasn’t gonna use it for food (something I usually don’t worry about - it was a vibe I got in this situation). Secondly, I worried about the situation you just described. I hope that does not happen in this case!
 
It is neither sinful nor foolish. In a large city with homeless populations, many may be harmless but many are not. There are a lot of homeless who are mentally ill, criminals, etc. Keeping your distance is smart.

Just because they give a hard luck story does not mean you should be trusting or give them money. Catholic social services such as Catholic Charities have a process to help those in need, and the professionals in other social services are equipped to help them.

I am not saying “don’t” help them. I am saying do not feel guilty if you instead give to groups that are equipped to tell the difference between the scammers and criminals and those who are really in need.

There were many homeless people in the area near the abortion clinic where I used to sidewalk counsel. They never once asked us for money. They would pray with us, talk with us, etc, but not ask us for money.
 
Direct them to a shelter, the St Vincent de Paul, a soup kitchen, etc. There are many places in every town in the US to help.
 
Matthew 5:42:

Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.
Jesus of Nazareth
 
I have been in the middle of more odd situations in church including the classic homeless and/or drunk and/or campers. Every parish should have a detailed Security Policy. Because it’s “church” the tendency is to be too trusting, naive and unprepared for problems.

Everyone on staff and volunteers should be trained what to do in emergencies like those, and also medical crises, fainting, psychotic outbursts, display of a weapon, disruptive behavior, etc.

Any potential threat should not be handled by the confused (as you were) and vulnerable parishioner, but reported immediately to someone in authority, priest, deacon, sacristan, etc.

In this particular case, my policy is to call 911. I tell the police the homeless person is not creating a disturbance, we have no wish to get them in trouble or press charges for anything, but this is private property and we cannot have them sleeping in the pews. We do not feel comfortable asking our staff to remove them, would they stop by and take a look at the situation?

Often the person is familiar to police, who will most likely drop them off at a shelter, or if they are wanted for a crime, arrest them. They know much better how to handle these types than your well-meaning but innocent parishioner.
 
I work in a chapel on a college campus. Oftentimes I am the only person in the church. Many times, I have been approached for money while working alone. I always suggest that the people contact a church that is within a few miles that has a fund for families in need. If I am alone, I always lock the doors at the church and then altert the priest or one of the secretaries so that they can handle the situation when they get to the church. I don’t know of my actions are decidedly “Christian” but I feel like I have to protect myself.
 
Most homeless people are homeless by choice. They could be self-sufficient if they wanted to but why should they if they know they can prey on soft-hearted (soft-headed?) people for a handout?

Why do you think they hang around churches? Because they can play you for a fool and put you on a guilt trip at the thought of betraying your Catholic values of charity. Ever notice how street-people say God Bless all the time? They are trying to manipulate your conscious.

Personally, I won’t give money to homeless beggars. I may direct them to a shelter, but that’s all. Giving them money is just a disincentive for them to try and better themselves.

And anyone can better themselves if they want to bad enough and try hard enough.
 
nsm said:
. Halfway through mass I felt really bad about my actions and I was afraid that I had just walked out of confession only to commit a private (potentially mortal?) sin right away.

).
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you describe nothing that is remotely sinful in any way
what makes you ask the question?
 
Most homeless people are homeless by choice.
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:confused::confused::confused: I am fairly certain that most homeless people are homeless because of addiction, serious mental illness, no longer being able to make ends meet, etc. Being homeless has got to be a miserable way to live and I cannot imagine anyone with a clear head freely choosing it.
 
Lost_Sheep said:
Most homeless people are homeless by choice. They could be self-sufficient if they wanted to but why should they if they know they can prey on soft-hearted (soft-headed?) people for a handout?

Why do you think they hang around churches? Because they can play you for a fool and put you on a guilt trip at the thought of betraying your Catholic values of charity. Ever notice how street-people say God Bless all the time? They are trying to manipulate your conscious.

Personally, I won’t give money to homeless beggars. I may direct them to a shelter, but that’s all. Giving them money is just a disincentive for them to try and better themselves.

And anyone can better themselves if they want to bad enough and try hard enough.
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I can assure you that most homeless people are not homeless by choice, unless you call addiction and mental problems a choice. Nobody wants to be homeless other then a few late teen, early twenty types who want to live on the beach. Trust me, they get over it really fast.

They can get a job, really? It is really easy to get a job when you are dirty, smell and have an alcohol addiction, right? I am sure a prison record helps a lot too. I cannot find a job, and I do not have any record AND do not smell.

Well you can refuse to help beggars if you like, I for one am going to follow Jesus and give to those in need.

Pax
 
Speedypizza said:
I can assure you that most homeless people are not homeless by choice, unless you call addiction and mental problems a choice.
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If they have an addiction, it’s because the made a choice to start using drugs, or drinking or whatever. As for mental illness, there are plenty of outreach programs available. If they don’t take advantage of it, its there own fault. They make use of soup kitchens, don’t they? They can also make use of free medical care.
They can get a job, really? It is really easy to get a job when you are dirty, smell and have an alcohol addiction, right? I am sure a prison record helps a lot too. I cannot find a job, and I do not have any record AND do not smell.
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A $10 rake from Home Depot is all you need to clear leaves from peoples’ lawns. It’s a start.
Well you can refuse to help beggars if you like, I for one am going to follow Jesus and give to those in need.
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That is certainly your prerogative but I feel that in the log run I am doing them a disservice by being a human ATM.
 
Just because a person made a choice to start drinking or using does not mean that they choose to be homeless. The ONLY thing that makes the homeless without a house is not having a house. Many people are addicts and alcoholics and they live in houses. Many people have mental problems, and they also live in houses.

As far as these programs for those with mental problems. You seem to forget that their mental illness often makes them not want to seek help. They are not at fault for being sick, and that means they are not at fault for being so sick that they do not seek help.

Whatever causes them to be like that, Jesus tells us in Matthew 25:34-46

Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’

Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’
And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’

Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.’ Then they will answer and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?’ He will answer them, ‘Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’
And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."
 
The kind of poverty that existed in the New Testament was very different than the homeless people in the United States today.

There exists either in your town or in driving distance shelters and programs to help people out of homelessness. These programs have recovery programs for the addicted, job training, life skills, etc.

I have worked with social outreach for years and have never met someone who did not have an alternative to homelessness, they simply refuse the help that does exist. With a few minutes research you can find those places in your community and keep little cards with the information on them to give to those in need of a place to stay. Keep some granola bars, canned pop-top food and bottled water to give to those who are hungry. Don’t ever give cash.

Worked with one man who left the shelter because the beds were too hard or they did not like the curfew. Women who leave because they want to have a boyfriend sleep over.

Have never met someone who was homeless and destitute who had a home church. The first step down the road to destruction is separating oneself from the family and the Church, what God designed as the basic units of society.
 
The church pew is not an acceptable place for a homeless person to camp out.
 
Castello said:
The kind of poverty that existed in the New Testament was very different than the homeless people in the United States today.

There exists either in your town or in driving distance shelters and programs to help people out of homelessness. These programs have recovery programs for the addicted, job training, life skills, etc.

I have worked with social outreach for years and have never met someone who did not have an alternative to homelessness, they simply refuse the help that does exist. With a few minutes research you can find those places in your community and keep little cards with the information on them to give to those in need of a place to stay. Keep some granola bars, canned pop-top food and bottled water to give to those who are hungry. Don’t ever give cash.

Worked with one man who left the shelter because the beds were too hard or they did not like the curfew. Women who leave because they want to have a boyfriend sleep over.

Have never met someone who was homeless and destitute who had a home church. The first step down the road to destruction is separating oneself from the family and the Church, what God designed as the basic units of society.
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Shelters can be cold, dirty, dangerous and degrading. The homeless are not animals that have to follow curfews in order to get a doggy treat, they are human beings, just like you. Just as you do not want others to tell you how to live your life, neither do they. A lot of these programs you speak of require a lot of things in order to get them. ID cards (almost imposable to get if you are homeless in some states) or demand that you listen to some sermon before you get help.

However far more important is this. In a few years you are going to die and stand before God, do you REALLY think he is going to give you a pass because these homeless are not like the homeless in his time? Remember that Jesus himself said that you will ALWAYS have the poor with you. He did not say, always other then in the USA in 2000 years, they are not the same kind of poor, so don’t help them.

Look, you do whatever you want to do, and think whatever you want to think. I for one am going to keep helping the homeless in any way that I can. I think the biggest thing that the homeless need is understanding and love. Not people who look down on them.

Pax

P.S. My God was a broke homeless rebel who did not like the rich, the powerful or those who thought they were better then others.
 
Speedypizza said:
In a few years you are going to die and stand before God, do you REALLY think he is going to give you a pass because these homeless are not like the homeless in his time?
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Really?

Do you have some insight into what God is going to do on our individual judgement days?

Are you able to read God’s mind and know what He is thinking? If so, can you help me out with this week’s Lottery numbers?

When you say “God is not going to give you a pass…” are you really saying “If I were God, I would not give you a pass.”?

You worry about your soul and I’ll worry about mine. In the mean time, I would not be so presumptuous as to think you know what God’s plans are.
 
nsm said:
Today I went to daily mass at a Cathedral in a major US city. Before confession, a homeless man came up to each person standing in line, gave his story about being sick with AIDS and asked for money. I gave him money, but I had a funny feeling about it.
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I have an update to my post from last week. Today I went to mass and the same man who had come up to each person standing in line walked all the way across the enormous Cathedral and sat right in front of me while I was praying the Rosary. He waited quietly while I finished my prayer (during which I was VERY distracted, unfortunately) and then gave a completely different story and asked for $70.00. Remembering the discussion on this board, I felt uncomfortable and upset. Since he came all the way over to where I was sitting and sat right in front of me for twenty minutes just to ask me for more money I am feeling like a totally idiot, and a target. This time I directed him to the churches front desk for help. He was very persistant in saying that the church would not give him money, but I just continued to direct him there. Eventually he left in a huff. Throghout mass I was thinking about that and feeling a rush of emotions, and the end result was that I didn’t concentrate fully on the mass.

After mass I went up to one of the women who were manning the booth and asked what the protocol is for people who come and beg at church. Was there a place that we could direct them to, etc. She said to just ignore them. I didn’t feel good about that answer but I was so flustered by the incident I just left.

I understand the imperative to give from Christ, but how can one give WITHOUT becoming a target for opportunists. As a woman, I feel the extra burden of remaining safe. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!!!
 
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