Homeless people

[beegirl]

I have a hard time seeing homeless or begging people.
Obviously growing up in a small rural community I didn’t see a lot of it until I moved to Chicago.

Last week I had a bad experience where I got a small glimpse of what its like to have no one or nothing. I had just got off of work and was at the CTA train station. I swiped my pass and I couldn’t board the train. The card didn’t work. It was a technical problem, but the conductor still wouldn’t let me on. I tried to buy a new card but realized I had no cash on me…I aslo realized for that I didn’t have my debit card either…something I NEVER leave the house without. So I decided to call my aunt and have her come pick me up. She didn’t answer. I just moved here and don’t have many friends…but I called a few people. They were either out of town or didn’t answer. So I ended up walking around Chicago after dark for about 4 hours. It should be noted that this is not the safest thing for a teenage girl to do Finally I got to Navy Peir, because I wanted to be around people, and this nice security quard took pity on me and gave me five bucks for the train.

After that whenever I see a homeless person I think about how bad it felt to have absoultly no money and no one trying to help you. It was only a temperary experience for me, and I knew that. But I can’t imagine having that scared, hopeless feeing all day every day as so many do.

Now whenever I pass a homeless person on the street and ignore them, I get an overwhelming sense of guilt for not helping them. I do help when I can. If i have some change in my pocket I’ll drop in in their cup, and I’ve bought a couple of people coffee or sandwhiches. But I know I’ll never do enough.

As strange as it sounds, whenever I pass a homeless person begging, I always think of the verse in the bible about “entertaining angels unaware” and think to myself…what if God was telling me to help that person and I ignore him?

It just happened today. This man was stopping people on the street asking for a cup of coffee. I didn’t have extra cash on me and I just sort of smiled and walked by. But I was hit with the usual guilt and I almost cried because I felt so bad for him. I am not an emotional person, either.

Is this weird or normal or what? I want to help the homeless but I can’t help everyone, how can I not feel so guilty?

 

[Credendum]

This is tough. It’s normal to feel guilty. You have to be careful because there are many types of homeless people. There are some who choose to be homeless and don’t want to change their way of life. There are some who ask for money rather than food, and if given money, will buy alcohol and/or drugs. There are also some who pretend to be homeless and go to a lovely home every night. It’s hard for me to give them the benefit of the doubt because I don’t want to be taken advantage of, and I feel guilty for feeling that way.
I’m sorry you had that experience. It can be downright scary.
One thing you can do is sign up with an organization called Food Not Bombs if it’s in your city. They feed the homeless.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Is this weird or normal or what? I want to help the homeless but I can’t help everyone, how can I not feel so guilty?

It isn’t weird. You are right you cannot help everyone.

I never thought my 20-year “lucrative” career in engineering would come to a screeching halt due to disability, especially while I had a sizeable mortgage and six children to raise. I got to witness what it was like to sit in a smelly waiting room for hours to wait for a social worker to tell me that I needed more information and needed to come back. Or to dance like a puppet for a few hundred measly dollars of cash assistance “welfare” and some food stamps and thank-God, Medicaid. They would say be here at this time and place Thursday or we close your case. Or provide some document you never even heard of by Friday or we close your case. Even with government assistance, it is no picnic like the political people I once listened to almost exclusively espouse – the poor are living a life of luxury on the backs of the “productive” people.

So yeah, when I’ve had the cash I’ve put up homeless people in motels, but that was when I was manic and I was spending money I didn’t really have to spend. One guy whom I know only as “Eddy” but is always walking East Harry street, had a fund at a local QuikTrip, where I have made anonymous contributions from time to time, and once I walked with him for a half hour and bought him lunch; he was afraid to go into the restaurant but I reassured him that he was my guest and if they didn’t want his business, then they don’t need my continued business either. So he came in and chose a couple items and then went out and ate them by the side of the building after thanking me and saying goodbye.

But yes, you can only do so much. You can give everything you have away and become homeless yourself. Then how much good could you be to anybody? Thankfully between the measly government assistance and now SS disability (with Medicare which is better than Medicaid, but now only I have it and not my family members – because my disability income is too “great” to qualify for Medicaid, food stamps, or cash aid) – AND some very generous help from certain friends and family members, I have not had to experience homelessness first hand.

Another thing I like to do, if I’m in the mood and have time, is when a person asks for two dollars for a hamburger (but I wonder if they will use it toward another bottle of bourbon because they smell of bourbon) I invite them to go with me to get a hamburger and let’s have lunch together. If they decline, then forget them. Let them be allegedly hungry. If they don’t want my help unless it’s on their terms, I’ll find someone who does. My son and I were actually walking by the Sears Tower in Chicago when such a man accosted us and asked if he could help us find out where we were going, etc., then finally asked for money. He said he was hungry, and gave us a song and dance about diabetes or something, and whatever other reason it was important for us to give him money. I said we were going to Union Station right across the river, and come on and have lunch with us while we are waiting for our train. He followed us, asking if we could just give us money, but when we got to the entrance, he acted scared to go in. I suspected he was in trouble with the police. He asked for money again and I said, “no, I only have a charge card so if you want to join us for lunch you are welcome. If not, then good day, sir.” Somehow I thought as our “guest” if he really was about to have a diabetic attack due to not eating, he’d have found a way. If he was that wanted by the police, then he could have gone to prison and they would have taken care of his medical issues – to the extent that they do.

Alan

 

[chris62]

Whenever I go into the city I always pack an apple or two, for the street people.

There was a report on one of the current affair programs here that some street beggars make more than the average worker.

Of course, we can’t trust the television reporters these days.

So anyway,instead of giving coins, I give an apple.

 

[VicTorDominican]

At the same time, Beegirl, you need to understand that not all “homeless” people in Chicago are “the poor”, as you may think. Take care of yourself first, and keep in mind that there are structures in place for taking care of “the homeless”, however you define them.

Let me put it this way, BG. If you run a homeless shelter AND someone asks you for a home AND your shelter has room AND you don’t take them in for the night, THEN you should feel guilty. Otherwise, treat them like you would treat yourself if you were in their situation.

…and think long and hard about how they got into their situation…

 

[MtnDwellar]

At the same time, Beegirl, you need to understand that not all “homeless” people in Chicago are “the poor”, as you may think. Take care of yourself first, and keep in mind that there are structures in place for taking care of “the homeless”, however you define them.

Let me put it this way, BG. If you run a homeless shelter AND someone asks you for a home AND your shelter has room AND you don’t take them in for the night, THEN you should feel guilty. Otherwise, treat them like you would treat yourself if you were in their situation.

…and think long and hard about how they got into their situation…

What does this mean? “Think long and hard about how they got into their situation.”

How is one supposed to think about how a stranger got into his situation? Why would we want to?

If not for the grace of God, anyone could be a homeless beggar.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

What does this mean? “Think long and hard about how they got into their situation.”

How is one supposed to think about how a stranger got into his situation? Why would we want to?

If not for the grace of God, anyone could be a homeless beggar.

If not for the generosity of certain family and friends, I would have been one myself, as well as my wife and at least four of my six children.

We got into the situation because of a medical disability with onset June 8, 2011, which was in part due to stress of my doing my best to serve my church (according to my pastor’s directions) and my company (according to my boss’s directions) and neighborhood (I spoke on the behalf of my neighbors before the city council on divisive issues) and take care of my children at the same time. Before that I had a career in engineering, like I said before, had a master’s degree, and flew around the country working for Bell Labs on “special projects” whereby I got “warring” factions to come to mutually beneficial agreements.

In a strange way, I’m almost glad it happened. Now that I’ve had but a tiny taste of walking in “their” shoes, and a great fear of walking much longer in “their” shoes, I pity those with money who have no idea what it’s like for street people, even more than I pity the street people.

That said, I don’t for the life of me want to be one of them, and now that my finances are a little more stable I can appreciate them all the more and be much happier with less than I ever knew how to be. And this happiness transcends the material illusions of happiness I had before this experience.

Last month when I saw the “dog lady” I used to avoid, who walked around with her dog and usually sat next to convenience stores in the cold of winter and the heat of 110+ degree summers in Wichita, I gave her a $20 bill and bought her a sandwich – instead of parking on the other side of the building away from her so I wouldn’t have to deal with my guilt. You know why? Because I could. If I couldn’t, though, I have no guilt at all. I just give them my blessing and well-wishes if they seem like they want it, and move along.

Alan

P.S. Oh, and believe you me, there are wonderful institutions that do help people in trouble of all kinds, but it is a far cry from the picnic that those who don’t know them make it seem like. Often there are strings attached, and it is nearly always too little to give and too much need. Giving a “sterile” payroll deduction to United Way of 2% or whatever, is nowhere near like sitting down on a park bench and offering a sympathetic ear to a person with a story to tell. Nothing wrong with giving a small amount to United Way, and I thank God for my own benefit that so many people do, but I honestly pity the people who think by doing so they are right up there with Mother Theresa. Jesus got His hands dirty, and didn’t even keep the prescribed distance from the lepers.