Homeschoolers forced into CCD for First Holy Eucharist

[Learning123]

I’m guessing that many a parent has met a priest for Director of Religious Education that requested a child attend PSR/CCD to be allowed First Holy Eucharist.

Our daughter is currently 7 years old and in second grade. She made First Penance with our previous priest at the beginning of this past summer. We had a change of priests this summer. I finally caught our new priest in passing with a few moments to spare on his part and no children in toe on my part; I took that chance to make an initial inquiry about First Holy Eucharist. Bad idea–I wasn’t really ready, not overly articulate, etc. Among my missteps is that while I mentioned we homeschool, I failed to mention we are enrolled with an accredited Catholic school. So I’m drafting a letter to apologize and clarify prior to meeting with him more formally. Hopefully then I can more carefully and thoughtfully choose what we say.

In our brief discussion he stated (I’m paraphrasing here) 1. that the diocese requests the child attend parish school or CCD; 2. he would not begin a business of making exceptions; 3. that CCD would simply supplement our efforts. For 1. I’m hoping that knowing we’re enrolled with a Catholic school will satisfy as the equivalent of attending the parish school. However I’m trying to prepare in case that should that not be so. For 2. the two dueling arguments that I see are duties of the parent and principle of subsidiarity on the one side with a need to be obedient to our priest who is trying to be obedient to our bishop on the other. Trying to apply subsidiarity to the situation, I would think we should be the norm not the exception… that ideally the parent would take on the bulk of instruction and I would think that whatever the parish has to offer should be AVAILABLE to us (which he did expressly state) but should not be REQUIRED of us if we are providing more than adequate preparation (which I would think could be determined by a simple discussion or two with her or even a written test taken at the rectory if he’d like). As for 3. CCD could serve as supplemental if we were always on the same topic at the same time, one reinforcing the other–that’s not going to be the case. Attending a walk through of the Mass with other children, specifically the Liturgy of the Eucharist, that might be a nice supplement. I do fear that she would find it confusing and taxing to be following two sets of instruction.

Those who’ve been through this before, what did you do? what was the outcome?

Am I making sense? Just to be clear, this isn’t an issue of I don’t like our priest. It is actually quite the contrary; I think he’s been the shot in the arm our parish needed–calling us to a more thorough education at all ages, calling us to be more involved, calling us to be more charitable, and speaking frankly about what the Holy See does and does not allow on a plethora of topics. I was shellshocked by our conversation, and I am very stressed and lacking in sleep over my concern with the situation. I fear I have left a poor impression of our intentions which will make it only harder to converse on any topic.

Thank you and God bless, Learning 123

PS-I did post similarly on our school’s parent’s forum.

 

[Tosk]

Me and my wife went through this already. We told the CCD director our child is not going to go to classes and that was the final word. We went to another parish and told them that we are homeschooling and they were ok with it. In your situation they really can’t make you do anything.

 

[Bluegoat]

I wonder what specifically makes you not want your child to go? Even if the “rules” are on your side, is it important in this instance that you insist on them?

 

[dconklin]

I am the Asst DRE at what I consider a typical parish. As a general rule, we have all of our 2nd grade/1st Communicants prepare in the faith formation program. In my five years here we made only one exception. That exception was for a student in a very devout family. This one year the family had a number of issues with another sibling and it worked out better for the family. Mom has been a catechist and the family regularly attends daily mass together as well as are frequently in line for confession together.

Our Diocese does not exclude at home catechism for sacraments, but it puts full responsibility for determining readiness on the shoulders of the Pastor or his “delegate”. Knowing the family well would make the decision much easier.

We generally do not react well to being told

our child is not going to go to classes and that was the final word

.

 

[Tosk]

We generally do not react well to being told .

I didn’t want her to waste her time thinking that anything was up for debate or discussion. I wasn’t rude about it but I was very clear.

 

[jpjd]

Keep in mind that the pastor is ultimately responsible for making sure that the child is properly prepared. He knows that if the child goes through the parish program, the child will be prepared. With homeschooling, he can not know that, and if he makes an exception for you, then what about everyone else who wants to follow in your footsteps.

For example, we had a family whose son was in football and CCD class conflicted with practice. Of course, football was the priority and the mother requested to homeschool. The DRE permitted it, and boy was she sorry later. The mother started out making a half-hearted attempt to homeschool and that quickly faded to no attempt at all.

The pastor is not requesting that you stop homeschooling. I think it would be quite nice for your child to receive both parish and home instruction for this important year of sacramental preparation, not to mention the peer interaction she will experience.

 

[kage_ar]

Let me see, the best way to teach a child the Faith is to teach them to disobey the Pastor and not to be part of the Parish community?

If the CCD teacher is teaching heresy, take it up with the Pastor and Bishop -

Why is there so much hatred of CCD in the homeschool community

 

[leonie]

Why is there so much hatred of CCD in the homeschool community

I can only answer for myself. Though, I’d use the word “dislike” rather than hatred.

For one, the kids are doing religious instruction all week with a more intense program. So, it’s unnecessary. Just as the school kids who do religious instruction during the week aren’t required, it should not be a requirement.

Secondly, it’s burdensome. I find that my younger kids have trouble handling a hour of Mass on top of a hour of sitting for class. It’s also another activity away from the family on a day in which we try to spend together as family.

Sometimes, little errors or misunderstandings occur that aren’t really heretical but are confusing to the kids.

I can’t be in class to pick up these errors or misunderstandings–not possible with seven kids, including a nursing baby. so they may go uncorrected.

Sometimes, the kids in the class have bad attitudes towards religion instruction that I don’t like my kids to pick up. This especially occurs in older grades. I want my kids to love and value their religious instruction.

My kids are ahead of the curve when compared to the public school kids, so the class is boring to them. Probably it would be boring to the parish school kids, too. I don’t want my kids to be bored in religious instruction. Also, it makes them feel superior to the other kids. I hate that.

Often, the classes are boring because of the teaching technique. Many of the catechists are wonderful, willing volunteers with no talent for teaching.

If they are taught heresy, it’s harder to undo their thought process than to teach it right in the first place.

I really wish that all parents homeschooled religion…

 

[leonie]

Be sure to take your religion texts, samples of your 2nd grader’s work, and offer to bring your second grader in for a little interview with Father or the RE

 

[ejlo1]

Vatican Council II reaffirms the parent’s responsibility to educate their children and I know many homeschooling families who do not want to turn that responsibility over to anyone else.

“Since parents have given children their life, they are bound by the most serious obligation to educate their offspring and therefore must be recognized as the primary and principal educators.” Vatican Council II, Declaration on Christian Education

My mother has been homeschooling for 22 years and several she has had to gently show our then-current parish priest that there is nothing that requires children to participate in CCD before receiveing any of the sacraments. She references the Vatican II documents and the catechisim etc. I believe she has even written to the archbishop about it before, and everytime she was sucessful. Usually, we would just sit down with the priest and he would ask a few questions to make sure we were ready to receive the sacrament. (This is something he should be doing anyway, even for kids in CCD)

Some people asked her why she went through the trouble, but she always says it’s not just so her kids don’t have to go to CCD once a week, but so that the priests are made aware of what is actually required and hopefully it will make things easier for other homescholling families.

 

[dconklin]

I really wish that all parents homeschooled religion…

From my side of the table, I see that some of the families (perhaps many) that home school faith formation are not doing it with all the best intentions. They are doing it so their kid can participate in sports and so they do not have to go to church. Many of our families that home school their kids for their “regular” education have their kids in our program and the parents are among our best catechists.

 

[Graubo3]

I wonder what specifically makes you not want your child to go?

Primary catechetical instructor for the child is the parent. Didn’t JPII say something like that? Holy Eucharist is deeply spiritual. Who is best suited at assessing and fostering a child’s spirituality than that child’s parent?

If the CCD teacher is teaching heresy, take it up with the Pastor and Bishop -

Why is there so much hatred of CCD in the homeschool community

Heresy takes time to combat. Too much bureaucracy. Much heretical damage can be done on a young impressionable mind in a very short time. I have enough “Cumbaya” and the “Good News Bible” experiences in my walk that I do not want my children to experience until they are older and can handle it for better or worse.

Hatred of CCD is such a harsh word. I do not allow my children to use that word but I bet other kids in a CCD class use it just as freely as you do.

Peace, Graubo

 

[SMHW]

I don’t know how things are done at your parish. But at my parish (we don’t have a Catholic school) sacramental preparation is considered to be something above and beyond other religious instruction. (But the second year curriculum *is *geared towards the sacraments.)

So all children who want to receive First Reconciliation and First Communion at our parish have to attend a certain amount of preparation whether they go to public school, Catholic school (at another parish school), or are home-schooled. But as I said, this preparation is NOT the same thing as the weekly CCD/RE/FF/PSR classes. It is in addition to them and maybe involves one activity a month or so. Oh, it’s expected that a child is receiving other religious instruction in addition to the sacramental preparation instruction.

 

[mlchance]

Keep in mind that the pastor is ultimately responsible for making sure that the child is properly prepared.

No. Ultimate responsibility for the religious education of children rests with parents, not pastors or parish employees. CCD should be, at best, a supplement to what parents are doing.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[purplesunshine]

I knew someone who was a DRE. It gets burdansome to an administrator to keep track of who’s homeschooling or not, what they are teaching, etc. I imagine quite often its much better than CCD. However it puts an unfair load on the priest and the DRE…especially the “unschoolers” who believe in child-lead learning.

On the other hand you’re already doing the teaching home and its overkill. Can you find other home school children preparing for first communion (even if your dd must receive later or others earlier?) You could then get the curriculum and host your own classes on your own time with them. This may appease the priest…and keep any stragglers and deadbeats away.

Believe me, there are MANY parents who want to “homeschool” CCD lessons beucase they’re at an odd time, in the way of supper or sports. It is hard to fight with parents once you’ve made an acception…even if one person has a valid reason.

 

[Corki]

We ran into this for First Communion and are facing it for Confirmation. My kids are in Catholic school and they are still being required to go to CCE in Sacrament years. In our parish, CCE and Sacrament prep are not separate; in fact for my youngest, he was using the same text in 2nd grade CCE as he was using in his Catholic school. The only concession I got was that my kids weren’t required to go for 2 years; only the year of the Sacrament. And that’s not really a concession since our DRE regularly accepts new students right after Christmas on Sacrament years.

 

[Lennox]

I wonder if your pastor has the same concerns about you and your homeschooling?

I can only answer for myself. Though, I’d use the word “dislike” rather than hatred.

…Sometimes, little errors or misunderstandings occur that aren’t really heretical but are confusing to the kids.

I can’t be in class to pick up these errors or misunderstandings–not possible with seven kids, including a nursing baby. so they may go uncorrected.

Sometimes, the kids in the class have bad attitudes towards religion instruction that I don’t like my kids to pick up. This especially occurs in older grades. I want my kids to love and value their religious instruction.

Often, the classes are boring because of the teaching technique. Many of the catechists are wonderful, willing volunteers with no talent for teaching.

If they are taught heresy, it’s harder to undo their thought process than to teach it right in the first place.

I really wish that all parents homeschooled religion…

What are his assurances that you are to be trusted, particularly when you question the sacramental preparation process at his parish?

 

[DallasCatholic]

No. Ultimate responsibility for the religious education of children rests with parents, not pastors or parish employees. CCD should be, at best, a supplement to what parents are doing.

– Mark L. Chance.

Okay, here is my 2 cents…Ultimate responsibility for RE of children belongs to the parents. However the parish Priest is responsible for making sure that the individual receiving the Sacraments is properly prepared and disposed. That is the pastor’s responsibility. My parish does not have any dichotomy between home schooling and the parish RE classes. I homeschool my son for RE and when it came time for him to receive First Reconciliation and First Holy Communion I had to meet with our DRE. We had to show the DRE that we were using approved instructional material and that my son had actually done the work. The DRE gave me the materials that our parish uses for the Sacrament prep classes and my son and I completed them at an accelerated rate. Finally, my son had to pass an interview which is required of every child prior to receiving these Sacraments. Note that I did not wait until the “last second” but approached our DRE at the beginning of the school year. I also took care to ensure that the DRE understood that I was not homeschooling my son on RE due to any deficiencies of our Parish RE classes. I give kudos to our Pastor and DRE for their positive attitude and hard work. It does take a lot of work on the whole Parish RE staff to accomodate “exceptions” but at my Parish they feel it is worth the effort.

God Bless.

 

[mlchance]

However the parish Priest is responsible for making sure that the individual receiving the Sacraments is properly prepared and disposed.

Enrollment in a parish education program is not necessary for a pastor to make that determination.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[puzzleannie]

In our brief discussion he stated (I’m paraphrasing here) 1. that the diocese requests the child attend parish school or CCD; 2. he would not begin a business of making exceptions; 3. that CCD would simply supplement our efforts…

your pastor is right. If you are Catholic you will do as all other Catholic parents in the Diocese are doing, whether their child’s faith formation, begun in the family, is strengthened in the parochial school or parish CCD–obey. The resistance to the directives of the bishop is a danger sign for any good Catholic. Perhaps if you are able to frame your approach to this issue from that perspective it will assist you.

These are sacraments of the Church. They are not the property of the child or of his family. It is the Church who determines who has been properly prepared and is worthily disposed for these sacraments, and it is those whom the bishop has commissioned for this task–pastor and those he delegates, namely DRE, school principal, and catechists–who carry out these directives. Furthermore, it is in the context of the parish community that these sacraments, as all liturgy, is celebrated.

Rather than engage in pointless debate with your pastor or DRE, once they have told you their policy, voice your concerns directly to the Bishop and ask humbly for his guidance. If you are confrontational and combative I doubt very much if you will resolve anything, but you will put your own faith in danger, and risk leading your child into a destructive attitude toward the Church and her sacraments.

Subsidiarity is at work here–the parish is the level on which these matters are to be implemented.

It is my duty also to tell any person who applies to me to become a catechist that vocal resistance to the bishop’s directives, or to any other Church teaching for that matter, disqualifies them to carry out that ministry as long as the dissidence continues. That applies equally to a parent who wishes to be the sole provider of their child’s religious formation.

If you feel the parish, pastor, school, and/or DRE are not properly implementing diocesan policy, once you ask for a local explanation, you have as I say the option of approaching the bishop, through the office of catechesis or office for sacraments and liturgy, for a ruling.

For the record, because every time I post this advice in similar discussions, I am the target of vicious PMs accusing me of attacking home-schoolers, this parish actively supports home-schoolers, and my requirement is precisely what the diocese has directed: I review the home-school work, looking at whatever evaluation process the program supplies, the children take the same test every child in school or CCD takes, and I interview each child and parent, the same as I do for CCD. The parents (and sponsors if they have any) take the same preparation classes prescribed for the entire diocese. There is no additional requirement placed on any home-schooling family that is not also that prescribed by the Particular Law of the Diocese of Brownsvill that does not apply to every other family.

also for the record, our Catholic school children particpate in their own religion classes, sacramental preparation and retreats, but their parents and sponsors attend the classes provided, according to Diocesan directive, by their home parish (we are a regional school). In practice, most come to my meetings because they find them more convenient.