Homeschooling - Am I doing it for the right reasons?

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lax16 said:
Everything is dominated by the dominant culture here so she is becoming less interested in joining things. Her first question when her dad asked if she wanted to join karate was “will there be lots of mormon kids there?” When I asked her why that matters, she said because they always ask her what religion she is and then they hang out with the kids they know, excluding her.

She even stopped going to her favorite farm camp because of it.

I’m so tired of it.
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Ugh, that must be rough. Sorry to hear it’s like that.
 
OK, just saw your response to AClaire.
Private lessons. Even if it’s voice from the Catholic Choir director. Ask a the parish office if there are people who give private lessons in anything.
 
pianistclare said:
OK, this is going to sound funny but…
Music lessons.
Ballet lessons.
Ceramic class.
Anything where she meets others, not necessarily a gob of people but she begins to realize that your support system doesn’t always come from school or inside the house.

It could help with her ability to focus and could give her an outlet.
Guitar can be a great instrument to begin with. Noodle around with one in her room, compose a few songs, great ice breaker at parties…

All of which help her in the long run when she has to go before people for :
school related competitions, interviews, and job prospects in the future.

It would nice for her to discover “her” thing.
Something that feeds her, stimulates her brain, and is singularly her own.
Kids love this.
It makes them feel unique. Which goes a long way to replace the 5th grade angst and drama. Once she becomes the cool kid in her circle with an interesting talent, the friends will continue to include her.
God bless you both.
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Again, everything and I mean everything, outside of the Catholic school programs is dominated by the Mormon culture.

That is primarily why Catholics and non-Catholics use the Catholic schools in Utah.

Dance class - tried ballet and Irish dance. A total Mormon gossip fest nightmare
Piano - we are doing that now with a Mormon teacher that I have known for 25 years. She is okay but our daughter sees the camaraderie among the other students and feels bad.
Art - haven’t tried yet but the arts are totally dominated by the Mormons here. They are huge on this and it keeps out a lot of non-Mormons

You are so right. She needs to find out what she is good at outside of school and friends.
She was doing so well and I can see her losing her confidence.

Good advice. Thank you!
 
pianistclare said:
OK, just saw your response to AClaire.
Private lessons. Even if it’s voice from the Catholic Choir director. Ask a the parish office if there are people who give private lessons in anything.
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Yes! She likes to sing and has a nice voice.
 
lax16 said:
Again, everything and I mean everything, outside of the Catholic school programs is dominated by the Mormon culture.

That is primarily why Catholics and non-Catholics use the Catholic schools in Utah.

Dance class - tried ballet and Irish dance. A total Mormon gossip fest nightmare
Piano - we are doing that now with a Mormon teacher that I have known for 25 years. She is okay but our daughter sees the camaraderie among the other students and feels bad.
Art - haven’t tried yet but the arts are totally dominated by the Mormons here. They are huge on this and it keeps out a lot of non-Mormons

You are so right. She needs to find out what she is good at outside of school and friends.
She was doing so well and I can see her losing her confidence.

Good advice. Thank you!
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ACK–a Catholic can’t be comfortable in Irish dance!

:eek:

Sounds awful.
 
First, have you asked at your personal parish? Offer to host an afternoon park day or coffee at your home or whatever - ask to have the notice put in the bulletin for anyone interested in HSing (or actively HSing). The priest or the religious education director may be able to make introductions with families. Also consider moving up the chain with your inquiries - diocese, archdiocese, etc. You never know…

Second, have you considered any of the “generic Christian” families as a support network? The Utah Christian Homeschool Association might be a good resource for you. They might have ideas for support beyond what they offer.

I also would suggest that you, privately (without your daughter involved), contact the various general (and likely mostly Mormon) support groups, coops, and associations and explain that you’re trying to find a peer group that is open to non-Mormons, explain your experiences and your daughter’s concerns, and ask for suggestions.

utch.org/membership/support-groups-co-ops/
uhea.org/
thehomeschoolmom.com/homeschooling-in-utah/homeschool-organizations-support-groups/
thehomeschoolmom.com/homeschooling-in-utah/homeschool-co-ops-academic-enrichment-classes/
homeschoolmagazines.com/utah-resources/utah-homeschooling-groups

If you’re anywhere near Hill AFB, you’ll find higher numbers of secular and non-Mormon religious families in the vicinity.

Also, I recall you saying you’ve moved around, in the past. How long do you anticipate being in Utah?

Finally, if you do homeschool, you might consider offering to run a program for the Catholic kids in the area so that your daughter could stay in touch with her friends. (I don’t know what Catholic clubs there are. I’m thinking along the lines of scouts, 4-H, etc, but from a religious perspective. There must be something you could start.)

I’m not sure I understand why she wouldn’t continue to see her current friends, if she started home educating. She wouldn’t see them every day, necessarily, but she certainly could continue to have them over to hang out, etc. Honestly, I’m a little concerned by your comment that if she left school, she’d only have access to “mom and dad”. Why is that the case?
 
Lax16, correct me if I’m wrong, but I get the feeling your concern with your DD’s current school is not about this “80% device” policy itself, but the general tendency for administrators there to run it more as a secular prep school than a serious Catholic school. I have heard this issue with many Catholic schools that compete with the private prep schools for students.
KnitNut said:
I’m not sure I understand why she wouldn’t continue to see her current friends, if she started home educating. She wouldn’t see them every day, necessarily, but she certainly could continue to have them over to hang out, etc. Honestly, I’m a little concerned by your comment that if she left school, she’d only have access to “mom and dad”. Why is that the case?
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I get the feeling, that although “socialization” is often not that big a problem for homeschooling in general, that the particular situation lax16 is in, very well might be. She is living in a place where Catholics are an extreme minority and there is not exactly a thriving Catholic or even Catholic-friendly homeschooling community for her to join.

So, I think socialization may be a legitimate issue for her particular case.

I think homeschooling does make sense of many children, but I also think it is naive to assume it is the best solution for every child and every family situation.
 
ToeInTheWater said:
Lax16, correct me if I’m wrong, but I get the feeling your concern with your DD’s current school is not about this “80% device” policy itself, but the general tendency for administrators there to run it more as a secular prep school than a serious Catholic school. I have heard this issue with many Catholic schools that compete with the private prep schools for students.

I get the feeling, that although “socialization” is often not that big a problem for homeschooling in general, that the particular situation lax16 is in, very well might be. She is living in a place where Catholics are an extreme minority and there is not exactly a thriving Catholic or even Catholic-friendly homeschooling community for her to join.

So, I think socialization may be a legitimate issue for her particular case.

I think homeschooling does make sense of many children, but I also think it is naive to assume it is the best solution for every child and every family situation.
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I agree that it is not ideal for every family or even every child. I feel very strongly that as parents we must discern what is best for each of our kids individually. we are considering enrolling our current youngest in kindergarten when she turns 5 because she is so determined to go to school, and she’s such a social butterfly. That’s still two years off so we have plenty of time before we need to decide for sure. She’s super smart like my oldest girl. That’s my big hold out for the moment. We don’t have good schools in the area, and private school is unaffordable. But if it’s best for her that is what we will do. And in two years we may very well be in a new area with much better schools. I didn’t start homeschooling with the idea of it being permanent. It was a one year at a time situation, and it’s continued because so far it has worked so well for us. Our family is changing and evolving, as all families do over time, and we reevaluate every 6 months or so to see if we will keep on with homeschooling (and other choices) or change to something else. There is no one size fits all in education or life in general.
 
lax16 said:
  1. I work in a high school that just had to implement a mandatory reading section into the school day to get the students reading** books** and to get them off their devices
  2. My daughter is hooked on electronics and fights me to do her schoolwork that requires effort (math, handwriting…)
  3. The teacher said at back to school night that they are already having problems with the students being on social media at night and are bringing these problems to school the next day
  4. I don’t think any, ANY, student needs more computer time. They have hours of it each day
  5. I know for a fact students are not reading as much as they used to and stink at math
  6. She is my youngest child and I am very skeptical about anything new when it comes to education
  7. Her older siblings are telling me to keep her off devices
  8. The school library has been turned in to the Learning Commons
  9. Our daughter was three to five grade levels ahead in all subjects and is now at grade level
  10. Our daughter gets in the car everyday complaining that she is the only kid without a phone/ipad/device
  11. My daughter is beginning to question my authority and thinks her friends know better
  12. I don’t trust the educational direction the school is taking. Nothing to back it up.
  13. I am old school on all things and it certainly helped with my older kids. I am not going to change things now.
I could go on forever! I truly hate how technology is robbing our children of their problem-solving skills.
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Thanks for taking the time to respond.

I know this thread hasn’t really developed into one about whether you are doing it for the right reasons, so I won’t elaborate much. Without knowing the school’s defined policy I can’t speak to specifics, but I believe you are making some poor assumptions and much of your fear is likely unfounded. While there are certainly some pitfalls related to technology in schools, it isn’t a “backwards step” for education.

I wish you good luck in your homeschooling adventures–lots and lots of success stories on this board to help you.
 
bitterhope said:
I agree that it is not ideal for every family or even every child. I feel very strongly that as parents we must discern what is best for each of our kids individually… there is no one size fits all in education or life in general.
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I totally agree. I think many people who discuss parenting fall into the trap for assuming that what is best for a particular family, or even a particular child, must be the best option for every family, every child.

It is not just about the child’s temperament, either, I think. Some Catholic schools are little different from secular prep schools, others actually do strive to educate kids in the faith. Public schools can be very different based on the location, resources, general community attitudes. etc.

And I do think there is a difference between a homeschooling parent who has access to support from a strong homeschooling community, and one that doesn’t. Some deficits can be remedied using on-line resources and such, but I do think it’s unfair to assume all parents are equipped to homeschool and are somehow being lazy, selfish, etc by not homeschooling.

(Unfortunately I have come across this attitude though more in fundamentalist Protestant groups, that any parent who dares to send their children to “government schools” must not really care about their well-being, but are being lazy and irresponsible and “letting the State raise their children”. etc.)
 
ToeInTheWater said:
I get the feeling, that although “socialization” is often not that big a problem for homeschooling in general, that the particular situation lax16 is in, very well might be. She is living in a place where Catholics are an extreme minority and there is not exactly a thriving Catholic or even Catholic-friendly homeschooling community for her to join.

So, I think socialization may be a legitimate issue for her particular case.

I think homeschooling does make sense of many children, but I also think it is naive to assume it is the best solution for every child and every family situation.
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No one in this thread has made that assumption. We’re just trying to help her examine options. If she wants to HS without losing friends, is it possible? In my experience, yes…which is why I’m asking why the choice is presented as Catholic school OR mom/dad only. Obviously she has a parish, and obviously there is a Catholic school in the area. There may not be dozens of Catholic homeschoolers, but that’s not necessarily a problem when we’re talking about a peer group for a child. Most of my kids’ friends are not homeschoolers, they’re kids in the neighborhood and town. If the OP will be staying involved with the parish for religious ed, etc, it seems that Catholic friendships don’t have to “end”, should she choose to homeschool.

We lived in Salt Lake for a couple of years (back when Alex Smith & Urban Meyer were doing amazing things with the Utes!). You want to talk about minorities, try being Orthodox in Utah - you can count on about one hand how many Eastern Orthodox churches there are, of any jurisdiction, in the entire state! So we’ve been there, done that…and while there may not be lots of HS families within certain faiths, those faith communities at large can help to bridge the gap, as can opportunities with certain HS groups, etc. She may find that an actual HS group (vs the kids attending classes at a dance studio & attending various other schools) is more welcoming, and that those children assimilate better with diverse peers. That was our experience, which is why I’ve suggested she talk with actual HS groups in UT, rather than assume a bleak “Catholic school or zero friends” outcome.
 
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