Homophobic? Yes or no

[janlyn]

I am sorry you feel that way, J. I hope you find a great site that is more befitting what you are looking for. God bless and Happy Easter.

I may have stated this wrong, I left the site I was on senior citizens because of bickering, but I want to stay on Catholic Answers. Sorry 90Domer for misleading you.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

I would never refuse to attend a wedding because I “dislike the venue”. That is shallow. That is not what my friend did. She dislikes Christianity and she has her reasons.

My view about marriage is the one taught by the Catholic Church and my friend knows it. I don’t demand that anyone share it, but I do insist that I be allowed to act according to my conscience. I expect no more nor less for anyone else, including my friend, whom I do not judge.

To cut off a good friend for acting in accordance with her conscience is sad, and, I think, immature. Of course if I were unkind about it, that would also be wrong.

This is just one of drawbacks of living in a pluralistic society, I guess. And in the end, people have the right to choose to be friends with whomever they wish, and to end those friendships even for sad and silly reasons. I’ve ended enough friendships for sad, silly, and proud reasons to regret it and to advise anyone else from making the same mistake.

Of course, this is all a moot point because I doubt very much that my friend will ever try to get married or have a family, but you are putting very ugly words in my mouth if you think I would regard her family as “a grotesque sham”. I don’t look at people that way, however I regard their decisions.

By venue I didn’t mean a simple dislike of it. For example, my wedding is being held at one of the few places that still allows indoor smoking. No big deal, the place doesn’t smell bad, and when we had our non smoking parents look at it they didn’t think it was a problem either. Well one of my bridal attendants (male) is dating a girl with an extreme sensitivity to cigarette smoke. She isn’t allergic, she just hates the smell and it makes her sick. I didn’t know this when I booked it and even if I had I may not have cared. Even though no one will be smoking at the wedding or reception, she won’t be going because people usually smoke there most other days. I get it, I understand, and I’m not upset about it.

Another example would be if someone was getting married in the church of that minister who was going to burn the Qur’an and had a Muslim friend who would (understandably) feel uncomfortable going but still supported the marriage and was happy for the couple.

But I’m not entertaining the “I won’t be going to your wedding because I can’t support you entering into a fake marriage. It’s a sin, it’s wrong, and you shouldn’t do it” and then hearing 3 years later “Oh, what an adorable baby, let me hold him!”

Uh…no. If you don’t even think that my FH and I should be getting married in the first place you can’t be a part of the family that we are creating.

 

[Kensho]

All right, feel free to have a life filled only with people who agree with you on everything important to you, who will never shock you, never disappoint you, never make choices that will deeply hurt you. Feel free to love only conditionally and be surrounded only by people who think like you and will never challenge you. Feel free to judge other people’s consciences, to shun them over differences and never reconcile. Feel free to put your feelings and your idea of etiquette above anything that purports to be higher. See how that works for you.

Archbishop Fulton Sheen: “Tolerance applies only to persons, never to truth. Tolerance applies to the erring, intolerance to the error.”

Goodbye.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

All right, feel free to have a life filled only with people who agree with you on everything important to you, who will never shock you, never disappoint you, never make choices that will deeply hurt you. Feel free to love only conditionally and be surrounded only by people who think like you and will never challenge you. Feel free to judge other people’s consciences, to shun them over differences and never reconcile. Feel free to put your feelings and your idea of etiquette above anything that purports to be higher. See how that works for you.

Archbishop Fulton Sheen: “Tolerance applies only to persons, never to truth. Tolerance applies to the erring, intolerance to the error.”

Goodbye.

You do understand that there is a big difference between disagreeing with the choices that someone makes and telling them that you won’t consider their marriage to be real, right? This has nothing to do with etiquette or shunning people who hurt me and comes down to choosing to honor the family I’ve created over people who flat out think that family is fake and immoral.

 

[ManOnFire]

The media controls public perception. The TV series Three’s Company teased Jack’s character negatively 30 years ago. Today, the opposite is true.

 

[ManOnFire]

All right, feel free to have a life filled only with people who agree with you on everything important to you, who will never shock you, never disappoint you, never make choices that will deeply hurt you. Feel free to love only conditionally and be surrounded only by people who think like you and will never challenge you. Feel free to judge other people’s consciences, to shun them over differences and never reconcile. Feel free to put your feelings and your idea of etiquette above anything that purports to be higher. See how that works for you.

Archbishop Fulton Sheen: “Tolerance applies only to persons, never to truth. Tolerance applies to the erring, intolerance to the error.”

Goodbye.

The popular media culture has created many blind soldiers who pretend they are not judgmental, but who are actually bigoted xenophobes who are intolerant of anyone who thinks differently than the unelected popular media’s definition of “correctness.” Hitler would be proud.

 

[JackieMom]

You do understand that there is a big difference between disagreeing with the choices that someone makes and telling them that you won’t consider their marriage to be real, right? This has nothing to do with etiquette or shunning people who hurt me and comes down to choosing to honor the family I’ve created over people who flat out think that family is fake and immoral.

I do understand why you’d be initially offended if someone said (even lovingly) that they can’t support your wedding. But what is a practicing Catholic to do? Your future husband’s family is Catholic. Do they support your plans? Our faith tells us that your marriage, while well-intentioned, won’t be valid. I’m not sure how anyone can expect Catholics to just delete that part of the CCC from their brains for the day.

As to participating in family life later, I see it this way. If one of my kids got pregnant or got a girl pregnant out of wedlock I’d be deeply, deeply disappointed and sad. Doesn’t mean I would not love their baby and want to be a good grandparent. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t help the couple out financially and practically. Doesn’t mean I’d reject them as people or that my love for them would be any less. I guess I understand how someone can say, “You went about this wrong and I do not support that, but I love you and your family and always want the best for you.” I hope I’d never be removed from someone’s life for following my conscience.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

ccli.org/shop/onlineshopping.php?criteria=category&f_cat=magazines&ind=1&order_by=name You will need to contact CCL directly, because the back issue is at least a year or two old, but they had an article one time about being Catholic and handling the delicate issues that arise when a family member has same sex attraction. It was a really good article. It’s worth ordering a back issue to get it. However, it’s also always worth a shot to e-mail them to see if they will send you a pdf of the article for free.

 

[janlyn]

ccli.org/shop/onlineshopping.php?criteria=category&f_cat=magazines&ind=1&order_by=name You will need to contact CCL directly, because the back issue is at least a year or two old, but they had an article one time about being Catholic and handling the delicate issues that arise when a family member has same sex attraction. It was a really good article. It’s worth ordering a back issue to get it. However, it’s also always worth a shot to e-mail them to see if they will send you a pdf of the article for free.

This message came to me, but I think you were meaning it to go to someone else, but I went to the link to check it out. There was nothing mentioned about same sex attraction. I did mention my granddaughter has a female partner, but I used her to try and let the person I was writing, how I would feel if there was a marriage planed.

I love both my granddaughter and her female partner, and they know how the family feels. She is over the age of 21, her sisters attend church, and have their faith. My granddaughter has made her decision and I will strive to live by example. I don’t need to check out books on how Catholics would handle this kind of issue. If my granddaughter decides to unofficially or officially marry her mate that is her decision and she is not a catholic.

I being a catholic would go to the wedding. I may not approve of her decision, but it is her decision and I would not cut her off because of catholic beliefs. God certainly does not cut off sinners…if the catholic church would insist that I do not attend or help my granddaughter, I guess I won’t answer that, but I can tell you and everyone else who reads this…**THIS SUBJECT IS CLOSED!!!**PLEASE DO NOT SEND MESSAGES FOR THEY WILL BE IGNORED I I will be happy to leave this site if ask to do so, otherwise I will stay clear on anything relating to sex. I apologise if I offended anyone by my angry.

 

[CatholicSheila]

.**THIS SUBJECT IS CLOSED!!!**PLEASE DO NOT SEND MESSAGES FOR THEY WILL BE IGNORED

Just curious, when you say messages do you mean emails?

Because CatholicAnswers automatically signed me up for email notification when I joined. I had to turn it off. It’s just letting you know someone replied to your thread - it doesn’t mean they singled you out or that they were replying to you.

If it’s private messages please disregard.

 

[90Domer]

ccli.org/shop/onlineshopping.php?criteria=category&f_cat=magazines&ind=1&order_by=name You will need to contact CCL directly, because the back issue is at least a year or two old, but they had an article one time about being Catholic and handling the delicate issues that arise when a family member has same sex attraction. It was a really good article. It’s worth ordering a back issue to get it. However, it’s also always worth a shot to e-mail them to see if they will send you a pdf of the article for free.

Thank you for this reference. In our case, I wish I had read that before but am still curious to see what it says. In our case, I’m not sure that we would have had an easy time given that in-laws were involved in a very dissident & militant Catholic SSA affirming support group. I will look to order it though.

 

[janlyn]

Just curious, when you say messages do you mean emails?

Because CatholicAnswers automatically signed me up for email notification when I joined. I had to turn it off. It’s just letting you know someone replied to your thread - it doesn’t mean they singled you out or that they were replying to you.

If it’s private messages please disregard.

Thank you Sheila I did not know that. I’m new to this site one week and already have a headache. I did not know that either I will turn mine off and I do apologize for my words.

 

[CatholicSheila]

Thank you Sheila I did not know that. I’m new to this site one week and already have a headache. I did not know that either I will turn mine off and I do apologize for my words.

It’s all good - I found it incredibly frustrating as well and can appreciate why it would be upsetting.

I’m glad it wasn’t people sending you “corrective” PMs!