Homosexual Act

[sjsander]

I was wondering can a girl be forgiven if she performed sexual acts with another female as a young child i she confesses this during a confession? At the time she knew it was wrong in the sense 2 girls doing these things was wrong but was not aware that it was wrong in God’s eyes.

 

[michelleds]

I was wondering can a girl be forgiven if she performed sexual acts with another female as a young child i she confesses this during a confession? At the time she knew it was wrong in the sense 2 girls doing these things was wrong but was not aware that it was wrong in God’s eyes.

of course she can!

In the scenario as described, it doesn’t seem to meet all the requirements of a mortal sin due to age and full knowledge.

Mortal Sin Requirements:
grave matter
full knowledge of the sinner
deliberate consent of the sinner

STEPS TO A GOOD CONFESSION

1.   Examine Our Conscience 
2.   Be Sorry For Our Sins 
3.   Make A Firm Purpose Of Amendment 
4.   Confess Our Sins To A Priest 
5.   Perform Our Penance

 

[michelleds]

I saw a couple of your other posts, and I want to add something to the above.

First, don’t be afraid of confession. It is a liberating and healing sacrament. there’s nothing you can confess that is going to shock the priest. according to what I’ve heard Priests say, they’ve heard it all about 2 months out of seminary!

And for those of us who were baptized as children but didn’t convert until our 40’s…now THAT’S a confession!!

 

[sjsander]

In confession would she have to describe in detail or could she just say something to the effect of at a young age she performed homosexual acts as a young child with another girl but was not aware of the seriousness?

 

[michelleds]

In confession would she have to describe in detail or could she just say something to the effect of at a young age she performed homosexual acts as a young child with another girl but was not aware of the seriousness?

actually, I like the way Father Larry Richards explains confessions. There’s no need for a bunch of details. For instance, let’s say you were going to confess masturbation and you were really nervous. You would just say that you were impure with self X times. that’s it. same with what you’re talking about. You can just say that you had “homosexual relations” or “same sex relations” or “impure relations with another girl” when you were X years old and it happened about X number of times. that’s it. if it was really long ago, you might want to add that the last time was X years ago.

 

[sjsander]

Thank you. How will I know whether or not I am forgiven?

 

[murphjos]

Thank you. How will I know whether or not I am forgiven?

The priest will say the most wonderfull words any man will ever say to you;

God the Father of mercies,
through the death and resurrection of his Son
has reconciled the world to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit among us
for the forgiveness of sins;
through the ministry of the Church
may God give you pardon and peace,
and I absolve you from your sins
in the name of the Father, and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.

 

[michelleds]

Originally Posted by sjsander
Thank you. How will I know whether or not I am forgiven?

The priest will say the most wonderfull words any man will ever say to you;

Quote:
God the Father of mercies,
through the death and resurrection of his Son
has reconciled the world to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit among us
for the forgiveness of sins;
through the ministry of the Church
may God give you pardon and peace,
and I absolve you from your sins
in the name of the Father, and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.

+1 what he said

sjsander, I noted in another post that you stated you were graduating from college and considering entering a convent? Surely this is not your first confession?

 

[sjsander]

No it is not. I just have not done one in a very long time and these things occurred after my last confession. After my first communion my parent strayed away from the church and I was left with no way to get to church for quite some time and after I got my license and what not I felt as though it was too long since I had been to go back but I have returned all on my own.

 

[michelleds]

No it is not. I just have not done one in a very long time and these things occurred after my last confession. After my first communion my parent strayed away from the church and I was left with no way to get to church for quite some time and after I got my license and what not I felt as though it was too long since I had been to go back but I have returned all on my own.

Awesome and welcome back! Don’t be afraid, you’ll really feel much better after confession and absolution.

 

[Lui]

actually, I like the way Father Larry Richards explains confessions. There’s no need for a bunch of details. For instance, let’s say you were going to confess masturbation and you were really nervous. You would just say that you were impure with self X times. that’s it. same with what you’re talking about. You can just say that you had “homosexual relations” or “same sex relations” or “impure relations with another girl” when you were X years old and it happened about X number of times. that’s it. if it was really long ago, you might want to add that the last time was X years ago.

I don’t think that you actually have to give a specific number of times you did it. Let’s say a person turns Catholic when he is 30 and confesses for the first time. He doesn’t need to say “I masturbated about X times since I was 14 and slept with X women about X times etc”. At least my priest didn’t want to hear that many details after I confessed for the first time in my life three years ago.
I thought I would have to remember every little detail but he told me that was not necessary.

 

[Love_Divine]

I don’t think that you actually have to give a specific number of times you did it. Let’s say a person turns Catholic when he is 30 and confesses for the first time. He doesn’t need to say “I masturbated about X times since I was 14 and slept with X women about X times etc”. At least my priest didn’t want to hear that many details after I confessed for the first time in my life three years ago.
I thought I would have to remember every little detail but he told me that was not necessary.

The Council of Trent says that we are to state mortal sins in both kind, number and circumstances.

 

[puzzleannie]

I was wondering can a girl be forgiven . . . .

anyone can be forgiven of any sin in confession, and anyone can relieve their guilt over a memory from childhood that may not even be a sin. Sin requires grave matter–it must be sinful objectively; full knowledge–youngsters actually should lack knowledge of sexual sin since their innocence should be protected, so much youthful experimentation, especially with things a child is tempted to try by an older child, is not not a sin because of that innocence. Third it requires full free will consent, and espcially in the case of a child even the civil law acknowledges they are not always able to give full free will consent because of their age.

if something from your past still bothers you bring it up in confession, you have nothing to lose except a nagging guilt and everything to gain.

they hypothetical person in OP is not guilty of sin because she did not have full knowledge, and it is quite possible she also lacked full free consent of the will.

at your next confession simply confess everything you remember that you now know to be wrong, hold nothing back, and don’t waste time on debating ‘was it a sin, wasn’t it a sin’ just confess it and let the priest do his job, which is to determine what was actually a sin.

 

[Lui]

The Council of Trent says that we are to state mortal sins in both kind, number and circumstances.

In other words, does that make my first confession “invalid”? I could only go by what the confession priest told me.
I think I’ll bring up the issue at my next confession.

 

[VivaCristoRey27]

You don’t have to say “I’ve masturbated 17,274 times since my last confession.” The priest doesn’t expect you to have kept a log book. But there’s a difference between “I killed a man.” and “I killed 20 men.” Did you fool around with your best friend when you were 8 or did you live for 20 years as a promiscuous homosexual hooking up with guys in gay bars? That’s what it means to confess the number of times you did something.

You also have to distinguish the type of sin insofar as it effects the gravity. There’s a difference between killing a man and killing a priest or between committing simple fornication and committing rape. If you say, “I had sex with a girl” rather than “I brutally raped a girl”, the confession is invalid because it makes a big difference and you didn’t really confess the sin you committed.

 

[IrishRush]

The priest will say the most wonderfull words any man will ever say to you;

 

[OraLabora]

While I agree that confession is a wonderful and liberating sacrament, the OP says she engaged in same-sex acts as a child.

This sounds like it was just part of the normal sexual curiosity and exploration that goes on as a child. Depending on the age of the child when it happened, one’s conscience was probably not fully-formed at that age, which excludes any moral culpability for the act.

It is one thing, as a child, to believe something is vaguely wrong but do it anyway, and quite another to have the fully formed and informed conscience of a fully-catechesized adult.

I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. Confess it if it helps, but it isn’t necessary. We needn’t heap unnecessary guilt about what was probably fairly common sexual exploration as a child. We all pass through such phases. It’s a normal part of sexual development. What isn’t normal is when we don’t mature past them to a normal adult sexuality in its proper context.

 

[michelleds]

While I agree that confession is a wonderful and liberating sacrament, the OP says she engaged in same-sex acts as a child.

This sounds like it was just part of the normal sexual curiosity and exploration that goes on as a child. Depending on the age of the child when it happened, one’s conscience was probably not fully-formed at that age, which excludes any moral culpability for the act.

It is one thing, as a child, to believe something is vaguely wrong but do it anyway, and quite another to have the fully formed and informed conscience of a fully-catechesized adult.

I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. Confess it if it helps, but it isn’t necessary. We needn’t heap unnecessary guilt about what was probably fairly common sexual exploration as a child. We all pass through such phases. It’s a normal part of sexual development. What isn’t normal is when we don’t mature past them to a normal adult sexuality in its proper context.

OP has posted about this in 2 or 3 threads so it’s obviously bothering her. Also, altho OP says “young child”, from other posts I’ve gathered this was a teen thing. I could be totally wrong tho. it’s happened before. like once.