Homosexual Catholic Discerning the Priesthood

[CatholicMale123]

I’d just like to say that I woke up today and felt much better.

I prayed a long time yesterday asking Christ to strengthen me and to lead me. "Christ, O Lord. What you want. I want. What you wish of me. I shall do.

When I woke up today I just felt at peace.

I think I was just having a very bad day yesterday. Due to hormones or something. I was very depressed and didn’t feel like talking to anyone, not even my friends or family. I went to sleep feeling like I wasn’t wanted in the Church but Christ gave me strength.

Just to clear things up.

No, I do not identify myself as “gay” in public.
No, I do not support any kind of homosexual ‘marriage’.
No, I do not participate in any homosexual ?activites?.
Yes, I

1. I believe in God the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
2. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
3. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary.
4. Under Pontius Pilate, He was crucified, died, and was buried.
5. He descended to the dead. On the third day he rose again.
6. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
7. He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
8. I believe in the Holy Spirit,
9. the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints,
10. the forgiveness of sins,
11. the resurrection of the body,
12. and the life everlasting.

I follow all the teachings of the Church to the best of my ability and do my best to avoid sin and even the near occasion of sin.

 

[marylauravicuna]

It sounds like you are talking about a person who was a sex addict. People can certainly be cured of sex addiction.

As for same-sex attraction, as such, it’s not clear that it is curable by trying – though surely God could remove it miraculously, and sometimes SSA might go away organically. Most “ex-gays” still experience some level of attraction to the same sex, however.

It’s perfectly possible to be a saint, however, despite experiencing same-sex attraction. It is a temptation, not a sin.

No, I am not. I am talking about homosexuality, period. It has been cured through therapy, not “miraculously”. The difference between organically and therapy is hard to tell. To say its not clear when people have known for a fact that they have been cured is disrespectful to their experiences.

Have you heard of a specific canonized saint who did experience strong temptations in this way? If so, what is the saint’s name?

 

[Prodigal_Son]

No, I am not. I am talking about homosexuality, period. It has been cured through therapy, not “miraculously”. The difference between organically and therapy is hard to tell. To say its not clear when people have known for a fact that they have been cured is disrespectful to their experiences.

Not true – no more than it’s disrespectful to say that someone may have been cured from a disease by a placebo, despite their insistence otherwise. Nevertheless, I admit that I could be wrong, and I am open to methods of healing homosexuality.

I do not think, however, that it is good theology to place an emphasis on changing one’s temptations – especially if, as with the OP, the person does feel an attraction to the opposite sex. Theologically, what matters is to change one’s actions. Then, through the process of sanctification, God will change our desires.

In this context, read the passages on homosexuality in the Catechism, which does not even mention orientation change.

The fact is that millions upon millions of people have tried their hardest to be cured of homosexuality, and it hasn’t worked in the GREAT majority of cases. What’s really disrespectful to people’s experiences is to suggest that these people didn’t really want to be changed.

Have you heard of a specific canonized saint who did experience strong temptations in this way? If so, what is the saint’s name?

I’m not sure why a saint would tell us he experienced such temptations, in a context where gay sex was so clearly considered wrong. Do saints talk about their temptations to kill people often? St, Aelred certainly thought it normal for monks to be attracted to each other, and developed a model of spiritual friendship to channel this attraction.

Also, Gerard Manley Hopkins and Henri Nouwen, both very prominent and saintly men of the 20th century, experienced same-sex attraction.

 

[Allegra]

No, I am not. I am talking about homosexuality, period. It has been cured through therapy, not “miraculously”. The difference between organically and therapy is hard to tell. To say its not clear when people have known for a fact that they have been cured is disrespectful to their experiences.

Have you heard of a specific canonized saint who did experience strong temptations in this way? If so, what is the saint’s name?

You can’t recommend a course of action that could be harmful, expensive, and a complete waste of time based on how a tiny minority feel about their experiences. I have a cousin who swears up hill and down dale that pot and binge drinking don’t affect her negatively. She claims that is her “experience”. Is it disrespectful for people to say that those things are harmful and should be avoided? There is quite an overwhelming amount of evidence that suggests that current therapies to cure strong homosexual tendancies are complete bunk and in some instances are harmful. The best course of action currently seems to be to support individuals who suffer from this burden in living in celibacy.

 

[felsguy]

There is quite an overwhelming amount of evidence that suggests that current therapies to cure strong homosexual tendancies are complete bunk and in some instances are harmful.

This

 

[Prodigal_Son]

There is quite an overwhelming amount of evidence that suggests that current therapies to cure strong homosexual tendancies are complete bunk and in some instances are harmful.

This could be overemphasized. There are very powerful socio-political interests at stake here, nearly all of which stand to gain from declaring these therapies bunk.

In my judgment, some of the therapies are complete bunk. But some of them hold some promise. I don’t like the sound of therapies that say they can “cure” homosexuality, mind you. But therapies that say they can reduce the distressing and compulsive nature of dynamics that some people with SSA experience, those therapies deserve more investigation.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

I’d just like to say that I woke up today and felt much better.

I prayed a long time yesterday asking Christ to strengthen me and to lead me. "Christ, O Lord. What you want. I want. What you wish of me. I shall do.

When I woke up today I just felt at peace.

I think I was just having a very bad day yesterday. Due to hormones or something. I was very depressed and didn’t feel like talking to anyone, not even my friends or family. I went to sleep feeling like I wasn’t wanted in the Church but Christ gave me strength.

Just to clear things up.

No, I do not identify myself as “gay” in public.
No, I do not support any kind of homosexual ‘marriage’.
No, I do not participate in any homosexual ?activites?.
Yes, I

1. I believe in God the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
2. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
3. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary.
4. Under Pontius Pilate, He was crucified, died, and was buried.
5. He descended to the dead. On the third day he rose again.
6. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
7. He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
8. I believe in the Holy Spirit,
9. the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints,
10. the forgiveness of sins,
11. the resurrection of the body,
12. and the life everlasting.

I follow all the teachings of the Church to the best of my ability and do my best to avoid sin and even the near occasion of sin.

So glad to hear you’re feeling better this morning!

I imagine you felt pretty misunderstood yesterday. That will be a common experience, as you talk to people about this stuff. But God has grace for you, and openness is a very good thing.

If you have anything else you want to talk about, I’ve got some experience with what you’re going through, and I’m just a private message away. God bless you!

 

[kozlosap]

People have been cured of homosexuality. Those who still suffer from it deny this because they have not personally experienced it. It is sad that not everyone who wants a cure seems able to have one and even possibly the cures are few, but it does not mean that it is not clear that one can be cured.

From my knowledge of one person who at one time experienced these sorts of temptations, during that period of time that person’s relationships were extremely unhealthy (even the nonsexual ones). There was a world of difference in this person with these attractions and without, comparable to the difference between a person who has strong suicidal attractions and someone who is in love with life. This person could not have done the “counseling” that takes place in Confession well.

Please, please, please do not advocate this false “cure” to a very young teenager. We are who we are born to be, and all priests take the vow of being celebate, both straight and gay so he certainly doesnt need to worry about reparative (QUACKERY) therapy.

 

[MPSchneiderLC]

I just want to offer two points that have not been clear:

1. Please check with a good priest knowledgeable in this field (these are few and far between) to see how “deep-seated” your homosexuality is. I’m not such an expert but I think you’d need to discuss things that should not be posted here and it will take time.
2. Always be open and clear with the directors when discerning. Some dioceses and communities go beyond the “deep-seated” homosexual tendencies to exclude anyone with the a lesser degree of homosexual tendencies. For example, I doubt you could join my community, the Legion of Christ.

 

[Allegra]

This could be overemphasized. There are very powerful socio-political interests at stake here, nearly all of which stand to gain from declaring these therapies bunk.

In my judgment, some of the therapies are complete bunk. But some of them hold some promise. I don’t like the sound of therapies that say they can “cure” homosexuality, mind you. But therapies that say they can reduce the distressing and compulsive nature of dynamics that some people with SSA experience, those therapies deserve more investigation.

I wasn’t referring to therapies that help someone with SSA cope. I was adressing therapies that supposedly “cure homosexuality”, as the previous poster mentioned. I’m assuming that by “cure” he or she means that the patient will no longer have homosexual desires and those will be replaced with heterosexual desires. I haven’t heard of any sucessful therapy that does this. I could be wrong though. Do you know of one?

 

[Prodigal_Son]

I wasn’t referring to therapies that help someone with SSA cope. I was adressing therapies that supposedly “cure homosexuality”, as the previous poster mentioned. I’m assuming that by “cure” he or she means that the patient will no longer have homosexual desires and those will be replaced with heterosexual desires. I haven’t heard of any sucessful therapy that does this. I could be wrong though. Do you know of one?

My understanding is that NARTH and its allies claim to *sometimes *enact such a “cure”, but they are very clear that a change in attractions is not the central goal of their therapies. I’m not sure I am entirely comfortable with NARTH, but I do think its rhetoric is a lot more plausible than the rhetoric of EXODUS used to be.

 

[Ben_Quincy]

This an intensely personal issue that is best dealt with under the direction of a trusted spiritual director or mentor.