Homosexual co-worker?

[LaMusicaSenior]

In my summer job, one of the guys that I work nights with is homosexual. It breaks my heart, because he’ll talk about his lifestyle and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve only known him for two weeks, so it’s not like I want to come out and say “Gosh, you know what? You’re so much more than your homosexual tendencies. You’re an incredible child of God and deserve eternal joy. You’ re trying to stuff things into a God-shaped hole in your heart…but finite things won’t fill an infinite hole.”

How do I interact with him on a daily basis?

I haven’t been anything but treating him like a brother in Christ - which is what he is - but I don’t know how to respond when he starts talking about his blatantly homosexual practices (like commenting on how “hot” a guy who comes through our cashier line is after the customer walks away. It’s kind of awkward.

 

[Truth_Faith13]

I take a rather different approach to most regarding homosexuality so you may not agree with this. I was talking to a priest once who said something to me regarding my husband being atheist…he said we all of our own paths to follow.

I don’t agree with homosexuality…I don’t think God intended for it…however I also am a big believer in people have their own paths to follow. The majority of homosexuals know that the majority of Christians believe it is against the teaching of the Bible. I take the approach that if they want to disobey God, that’s between them and God.

Homosexuality aside, most people talk about things I don’t agree with…going out and getting drunk and then boasting about all the stupid things they did, tattoos (can’t stand them) etc etc…I just think to myself “that’s your life” I don’t agree with it, but all I can do is make sure my life is as good as it can be in terms of what I know to be true. We all have our sins to deal with.

I also work in an industry where we have to respect the beliefs of others and are not allowed to mention our beliefs so I have become accustomed to letting things I hear which I don’t agree with, go over my head, say a prayer in my head for them and continue to treat them with the respect and dignity they deserve.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

Depends on your work environment. Are you the only one uncomfortable with him talking about his lifestyle? What aspects of it does he actually share? I mean if your workplace is anything like mine, with crude jokes flying here and there from both gays and straights, it’s just something you’ll have to deal with. (Heck, I’d actually be surprised why you’re singling out the gay person or even continuing to work in a place that seems to offend your sense of moral sensibility).

 

[Kindness]

You are right just to treat your co- worker as your brother in Christ because that is who he is. We all have tendencies which draw us away from God, your co - worker is no better or worse in this respect. He may see others as objects and a focus of his physical desire and he would be no different than other young people of his age in that respect. I imagine that pointing out what is missing in his life will have no effect except that he will feel judged and offended. Instead I would treat him and everyone else around you with respect, kindness and good humor because those qualities are rare. If he is open to talking about faith that will happen naturally and as a movement of the Holy Spirit. Approaching him with a perspective of judgement regarding his life is only likely to confirm in his mind a stereotype of a judgemental Christian obsessed with homosexuality.

Focus on God’s love and remember we stand equal before him in our sin.

 

[awsiukiewicz]

In my summer job, one of the guys that I work nights with is homosexual. It breaks my heart, because he’ll talk about his lifestyle and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve only known him for two weeks, so it’s not like I want to come out and say “Gosh, you know what? You’re so much more than your homosexual tendencies. You’re an incredible child of God and deserve eternal joy. You’ re trying to stuff things into a God-shaped hole in your heart…but finite things won’t fill an infinite hole.”

How do I interact with him on a daily basis?

I haven’t been anything but treating him like a brother in Christ - which is what he is - but I don’t know how to respond when he starts talking about his blatantly homosexual practices (like commenting on how “hot” a guy who comes through our cashier line is after the customer walks away. It’s kind of awkward.

 

[awsiukiewicz]

I would politely inform your co-worker that you are no more interested in hearing the details of his sexual exploits than you would be of a heterosexual co-worker. Personally I find in destasteful and very much inappropriate. If he inquires, only if he inquires, then I would be polite and explain what I think about such activity. Your co-worker should respect your wishes. I would, in a spirit of compassion and Christian love ever so politely let this person know that you wish he would keep his personal life to himself as it relates to you.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I would, in a spirit of compassion and Christian love ever so politely let this person know that you wish he would keep his personal life to himself as it relates to you.

Won’t this just give the homosexual license to demand the same about expressions of Christianity and it’s so-called ‘countercultural’ lifestyle?

 

[mommy_k]

My advice would be to ask your cooworker to keep details to himself, as you would any other person giving too much private or inapprpriate info. Just say-sorry -too much info.

Focus on who they are-a person, not what they do. It is your job to keep your mind pure and off such things. When you meet a straight person, you do not automatically think of their sex life unless they talk about it-so apply this to your co worker, and excuse yourself if you are reminded.

 

[amrin]

(…) but I don’t know how to respond when he starts talking about his blatantly homosexual practices (like commenting on how “hot” a guy who comes through our cashier line is after the customer walks away. It’s kind of awkward.

Saying a guy is “hot” or that he went to movies with his boyfriend last night it’s as normal for him as it would be for you to say those things about a woman. If it would disturb you that a coworker would say a female customer is “hot” then tell him the same thing you would to that coworker. Treat him like you would anyone else. You don’t have to agree with his choices about anything in life, just be kind. He is a sinner just like we all are. Just because his sin is more obvious doesn’t mean we’re better than him. Don’t judge

 

[Cricket2]

In my summer job, one of the guys that I work nights with is homosexual. It breaks my heart, because he’ll talk about his lifestyle and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve only known him for two weeks, so it’s not like I want to come out and say “Gosh, you know what? You’re so much more than your homosexual tendencies. You’re an incredible child of God and deserve eternal joy. You’ re trying to stuff things into a God-shaped hole in your heart…but finite things won’t fill an infinite hole.”

How do I interact with him on a daily basis?

I haven’t been anything but treating him like a brother in Christ - which is what he is - but I don’t know how to respond when he starts talking about his blatantly homosexual practices (like commenting on how “hot” a guy who comes through our cashier line is after the customer walks away. It’s kind of awkward.

Leave it alone. Just be a friend or at least a kind co-worker and leave it alone. IF he asks anything directly about your position on homosexuality you can then simply state you believe those with SSA are called to celibacy as a way of life. Then drop it.

Remember being a homosexual is not a sin. Only being sexually active outside of marriage is a sin, and that includes heterosexuals. Leave the judging to God, say your prayers and treat this person with respect.

 

[SpidersfromMars]

In my summer job, one of the guys that I work nights with is homosexual. It breaks my heart, because he’ll talk about his lifestyle and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve only known him for two weeks, so it’s not like I want to come out and say “Gosh, you know what? You’re so much more than your homosexual tendencies. You’re an incredible child of God and deserve eternal joy. You’ re trying to stuff things into a God-shaped hole in your heart…but finite things won’t fill an infinite hole.”

How do I interact with him on a daily basis?

I haven’t been anything but treating him like a brother in Christ - which is what he is - but I don’t know how to respond when he starts talking about his blatantly homosexual practices (like commenting on how “hot” a guy who comes through our cashier line is after the customer walks away. It’s kind of awkward.

I would be wary of bringing up God with him just yet…is he religious?

I say that because some homosexuals have been so badly burnt by religious people behaving in a less-than-Christlike manner. He might associate people who believe in God with people who have been mean to him, and freak out.

Perhaps take a bit longer to get to know him and then try and witness to him, so he’s less likely to interpret it as a threat.

I would let stuff like the “hot” comments slide, but if he becomes more explicit then definitely say you’re not comfortable. You would be well within your rights to do this with anyone at the workplace.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Or you could just answer, “Yeah, I mean, how could he NOT be hot, with the temperature outside?”

 

[Joe_5859]

Hmmmm. Is calling someone “hot” the extent of him blatantly talking about his “homosexual practices” and “lifestyle”?
I assume he gets much more blatant than that, yes? Else you would be jumping the gun to assume he has sex with men.

Anyway…it’s a challenge sometimes to get along with others when they have very different beliefs than you.
I imagine if you talked about your religion and beliefs out loud, he’d feel just as uncomfortable and awkward as you feel.
He’s just being himself. I’m sure he already knows he’s “more” than his homosexual tendencies, so probably no need to tell him that.

But it’s only been two weeks. First, I’d wait a bit…and see if he tones it down when he realizes you are not into talking about sex or who’s hot.

If it doesn’t change and his conversation bothers and upsets you so much that you can’t work and you can’t ignore it, all you can do is take him aside and nicely tell him you are very sensitive when others talk about “sexual practices” out loud and and that it upsets you…and politely ask him if he might tone it down or whatever.
Assure him it’s not a sexual orientation thing and that if a guy was talking that same way about a woman…or if a woman was talking that same way about a guy…you’d feel this same discomfort.

.

When I first went away to college, plenty of the guys on my floor would never bring up a female in conversation without firstly and immediately referencing how “hot” she was. It didn’t take them long to realize that I did not wish to talk in those same terms.

Don’t turn it into a homosexuality issue. That is sure to offend, and that’s not really the central issue. What is really bothersome is explicit talk about sex and/or objectification of others based on looks. You can make it clear that such things bother you regardless of anyone’s orientation. That’s more likely to get him thinking about how he is behaving than turning it into a “Christian vs. Gay” thing. That may only encourage him to dig in his heels and crank it up a notch.

 

[kelvinf]

I would politely inform your co-worker that you are no more interested in hearing the details of his sexual exploits than you would be of a heterosexual co-worker. Personally I find in destasteful and very much inappropriate. If he inquires, only if he inquires, then I would be polite and explain what I think about such activity. Your co-worker should respect your wishes. I would, in a spirit of compassion and Christian love ever so politely let this person know that you wish he would keep his personal life to himself as it relates to you.

Right, the talk is disgusting. Jeez, I can’t stand a man talking to me about homosexual practices.

 

[Joe_5859]

Or you could just answer, “Yeah, I mean, how could he NOT be hot, with the temperature outside?”

I retract my serious-sounding advice. This is a better response.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Right, the talk is disgusting. Jeez, I can’t stand a man talking to me about homosexual practices.

How is saying someone is “hot” talking about a homosexual practice? I mean, perhaps there are other things said to the OP that are more explicit, but calling a man hot is not really explicit at all.

 

[kristos]

In my summer job, one of the guys that I work nights with is homosexual. It breaks my heart, because he’ll talk about his lifestyle and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve only known him for two weeks, so it’s not like I want to come out and say “Gosh, you know what? You’re so much more than your homosexual tendencies. You’re an incredible child of God and deserve eternal joy. You’ re trying to stuff things into a God-shaped hole in your heart…but finite things won’t fill an infinite hole.”

How do I interact with him on a daily basis?

I haven’t been anything but treating him like a brother in Christ - which is what he is - but I don’t know how to respond when he starts talking about his blatantly homosexual practices (like commenting on how “hot” a guy who comes through our cashier line is after the customer walks away. It’s kind of awkward.

Tell him you love him as a sinner but hate his sin! That’d be an interesting way to tell him about your beliefs. Seriously, nowadays being a Christian is very much like walking on eggshells on a floor almost entirely covered with eggs. Nowadays, money, sex and self-will are the three main gods, nobody likes to hear that they are wrong to pursue one of their gods. To make matters worse, many homosexuals seem to feel victimized easily, see intolerance and “homophobia” where there is none, so it makes your position even more difficult, I think. If you’re like me, you’re quiet and like things to run smoothly, you want peace and harmony, rather than confrontation and tension etc. Yeah treat him with dignity, but at some point he’ll probably realize you’re a Christian, and will possibly ask you something like: “But you’re not like those homophobic Christians, are you?” or “Surely, you think God is okay with homosexuality (he is) and sex between two men (he is not), right?”. That’s when he’ll either distance himself or start mild persecution, or if he’s mature and reasonable, he’ll respect your ideas and beliefs.

 

[cheezey]

In my summer job, one of the guys that I work nights with is homosexual. It breaks my heart, because he’ll talk about his lifestyle and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve only known him for two weeks, so it’s not like I want to come out and say “Gosh, you know what? You’re so much more than your homosexual tendencies. You’re an incredible child of God and deserve eternal joy. You’ re trying to stuff things into a God-shaped hole in your heart…but finite things won’t fill an infinite hole.”

How do I interact with him on a daily basis?

I haven’t been anything but treating him like a brother in Christ - which is what he is - but I don’t know how to respond when he starts talking about his blatantly homosexual practices (like commenting on how “hot” a guy who comes through our cashier line is after the customer walks away. It’s kind of awkward.

Is he asking you to comment or he is just telling you?
I have been in a situation like this and when asked, “Cant agree”, “Can’t tell” “Wouldn’t know” have been the ilk of answers.

Then I comment on the Red Sox.
When told, I comment on the Red Sox.


How to interact; just as you said: as the brother in Christ he is to you.

 

[cheezey]

How is saying someone is “hot” talking about a homosexual practice? I mean, perhaps there are other things said to the OP that are more explicit, but calling a man hot is not really explicit at all.

true.
and both homosexuals and heterosexuals can each recognize beauty in the other.
In other words, one human can find beauty in another.

 

[robwar]

Op, just treat him with kindness and respect. If he brings up what he is doing in the bedroom, just walk away and not engage or encourage the conversation. Many companies have diversity policies so I would be careful in talking with him about his life style (like you don’t agree with it) to him or even to other co-workers which could get back to this person. Be kind, be friendly, encourage healthier conversations with him. It is simple but let your witness be the silent one of love.