Yeah I dated girls exclusively for most of college before I converted , and even I’d join in conversations with my straight friends about guys we knew. I don’t see why calling a guy hot is “disgusting,” obscene, or “discussing homosexual practices” either.
I agree with this advice. If a female co-worker were commenting on “hot” male customers, or if a male co-worker were commenting on “hot” female customers, I would find this offensive, or at least in bad taste. I think you should politely tell him that you find it disrespectful when he objectifies customers by calling them “hot.”
When I first went away to college, plenty of the guys on my floor would never bring up a female in conversation without firstly and immediately referencing how “hot” she was. It didn’t take them long to realize that I did not wish to talk in those same terms.
Don’t turn it into a homosexuality issue. That is sure to offend, and that’s not really the central issue. What is really bothersome is explicit talk about sex and/or objectification of others based on looks. You can make it clear that such things bother you regardless of anyone’s orientation. That’s more likely to get him thinking about how he is behaving than turning it into a “Christian vs. Gay” thing. That may only encourage him to dig in his heels and crank it up a notch.
Who cares? This is about the OP and a particular co-worker, not any other co-worker.
It sounds like you’re the one pointing fingers. The OP does not have to justify his reasons for bringing this issue with this co-worker up versus any other issue with any other co-worker to you. Suffice to say that it is an issue for him and he wishes to find a Christian way of resolving it.(Heck, I’d actually be surprised why you’re singling out the gay person or even continuing to work in a place that seems to offend your sense of moral sensibility).
This is the best advice here. If he makes a comment you think is inappropriate, you can just not say anything. I am not sure that a comment about someone’s attractiveness is the same thing as a comment about “blatant homosexual practices”, but perhaps there is more to the situation than you put in your post.
Ewwww-Red socks-really Cheezey? I always thought you were a kind, intelligent and wonderful person…Is he asking you to comment or he is just telling you?
I have been in a situation like this and when asked, “Cant agree”, “Can’t tell” “Wouldn’t know” have been the ilk of answers.
Then I comment on the Red Sox.
When told, I comment on the Red Sox.
How to interact; just as you said: as the brother in Christ he is to you.
Exactly! For all you know, this young person could become a lifelong friend if you just took the opportunity to get to know him. I’m sure that he probably knows from his “anti gaydar” that you are not comfortable around people that aren’t straight.
Why the assumption that this guy is not a Christian? According to Gallup, 77% of the country identifies as Christian. The results vary by study and how orientation is measured, but roughly 5% of the United States identifies as LGBT. According to the article below (which references a Pew survey) about 25% of gay people are protestant, and roughly 15% are catholic. Going at this from the assumption that he is not religious because he is gay could be really hurtful and offensive.Tell him you love him as a sinner but hate his sin! That’d be an interesting way to tell him about your beliefs.Seriously, nowadays being a Christian is very much like walking on eggshells on a floor almost entirely covered with eggs. Nowadays, money, sex and self-will are the three main gods, nobody likes to hear that they are wrong to pursue one of their gods. To make matters worse, many homosexuals seem to feel victimized easily, see intolerance and “homophobia” where there is none, so it makes your position even more difficult, I think. If you’re like me, you’re quiet and like things to run smoothly, you want peace and harmony, rather than confrontation and tension etc. Yeah treat him with dignity, but at some point he’ll probably realize you’re a Christian, and will possibly ask you something like: “But you’re not like those homophobic Christians, are you?” or “Surely, you think God is okay with homosexuality (he is) and sex between two men (he is not), right?”. That’s when he’ll either distance himself or start mild persecution, or if he’s mature and reasonable, he’ll respect your ideas and beliefs.
Does Gallup tell us what percentage of the population is “hot”? Inquiring minds want to know.
I would suggest some good old-fashioned field research…Does Gallup tell us what percentage of the population is “hot”? Inquiring minds want to know.
It is unprofessional to talk about who is and is not “hot,” and could be deemed sexual harassment. The OP can simply say she does not care to hear about the sexual desires, love interests, or other personal details of her coworkers. If he does not stop, tell him you would rather not complain, but you do mean it and you know what professional courtesy requires. The OP ought to be kind but firm and not even the tiniest bit apologetic. If he seems embarrassed, ignore that. Let him work that bit out.Saying a guy is “hot” or that he went to movies with his boyfriend last night it’s as normal for him as it would be for you to say those things abcout a woman. If it would disturb you that a coworker would say a female customer is “hot” then tell him the same thing you would to that coworker. Treat him like you would anyone else. You don’t have to agree with his choices about anything in life, just be kind. He is a sinner just like we all are. Just because his sin is more obvious doesn’t mean we’re better than him. Don’t judge
If you and the fellow are mutually encouraging at work, point out to him that it is never too early to start holding yourself to the standards of behavior required of top management. The world where people in power can get away with talking like that are vanishing fast. (And good riddance to those days!)
It is wolfish to tell someone with whom you may never have a legitimate sexual relationship that they are “hot.” Only those who live for the flattery of others welcome such comments. To say things behind the backs of others that you would not say to their face is two-faced, not to mention extremely foolish. This is doubly true if you are pretending that your shallow physical “rating” of them is of the least concern to any polite person. If you don’t want to the world to hear it coming out of your mouth or see you doing it on YouTube, do not say it at all.
Another tack is "I. Beg. Your. Pardon…Do you mind watching your manners, please? This is not 1975 and we are not on a construction site. I’ve had about all of this wolf whistling that I care to hear ever again…especially at work. "
didn’t say i was i was fan.Ewwww-Red socks-really Cheezey? I always thought you were a kind, intelligent and wonderful person…
Mommy K aka-#1 yankee fan
“don’t know” is another way to drop the subject; that, and the Red Sox, which can also kill a conversation quickly.
And the other gay people you have worked with have been perfectly well behaved – but you never knew, since they never said they were gay.
