Homosexual Cousin

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Hi all,

I have a 22 year old cousin who is a lesbian. Divorce has pretty much kept her out of the family loop pretty much all her life and only with in the past year we have reconnected.
I am the only Catholic on myside of the family, the rest are pretty much Fundamental Protestants. These family members have told her countless times that she is going to hell, have disowned her, etc… all this within the past few years of her reconnecting with them. She claims to be agnostic and is very anti-Christian & angry because of the other family members behavior.
Since our reconnection she has since told me of her homosexuality. I don’t want to loose a relationship with her like she has with the others. I want to be able to show her a loving Christ, I want to draw her towards Him and not away so I’m very apprehensive on how I approach this subject with her. The other family members have been so hateful and condemning towards her and that breaks my heart.
Do any of you have any experience on this subject? How do I approach, or acknowledge her in a loving Christian way?

God bless,
Cindee
 
Remember that your a sinner as well. You need prayers as much as she does.

Pray for her, and love her like crazy.
 
Hi, someone can be homosexual without acting upon it.

This woman’s family is a hideous example of “Christian” treatment. True Christians and I dare say Jesus himself would not treat her this way.

You have a great opportunity here to support and nurture this young woman and possibly renew her faith.

I have had gay and lesbian friends and my brother-in-law was gay. Believe me hateful treatment does not do anyone any good as you know. Some Catholic churches have gay and lesbian support groups. One of ours does but they are in another parish. Find out if there is one at your church or a nearby church and go with her to help her understand there are others like her and they and we are loved inspite of the sins we commit. We are all sinners of some kind.

My best to you and God Bless.🙂
 
LadyHodges said:
Hi all,

I have a 22 year old cousin who is a lesbian. Divorce has pretty much kept her out of the family loop pretty much all her life and only with in the past year we have reconnected.
I am the only Catholic on myside of the family, the rest are pretty much Fundamental Protestants. These family members have told her countless times that she is going to hell, have disowned her, etc… all this within the past few years of her reconnecting with them. She claims to be agnostic and is very anti-Christian & angry because of the other family members behavior.
Since our reconnection she has since told me of her homosexuality. I don’t want to loose a relationship with her like she has with the others. I want to be able to show her a loving Christ, I want to draw her towards Him and not away so I’m very apprehensive on how I approach this subject with her. The other family members have been so hateful and condemning towards her and that breaks my heart.
Do any of you have any experience on this subject? How do I approach, or acknowledge her in a loving Christian way?

God bless,
Cindee
Click to expand...
As someone who has studied homosexuality considerably, I would say that since it seems that she already knows that you and the rest of the family are opposed to homosexual acts, you don’t need to bring it up. Maintain a close relationship with her, and allow God to stir her up to bring up the matter of her homosexuality in the right way at the right time. That way, she can talk about it with you as someone who she feels secure with, rather than thinking you’re there to scold here.

Many homosexual persons know that most Christians opposed homosexual behavior, but they don’t know that Christians love them.

I’m just speculating, but the divorce you mentioned may have something to do with why she has SSS (same-sex attractions).

BTW, the while Catholic Church teaches that homosexual ACTS are sinful, the Church does NOT teach that having SSA is a sin.
 
LadyHodges said:
Hi all,

I have a 22 year old cousin who is a lesbian. Divorce has pretty much kept her out of the family loop pretty much all her life and only with in the past year we have reconnected.
I am the only Catholic on myside of the family, the rest are pretty much Fundamental Protestants. These family members have told her countless times that she is going to hell, have disowned her, etc… all this within the past few years of her reconnecting with them. She claims to be agnostic and is very anti-Christian & angry because of the other family members behavior.
Since our reconnection she has since told me of her homosexuality. I don’t want to loose a relationship with her like she has with the others. I want to be able to show her a loving Christ, I want to draw her towards Him and not away so I’m very apprehensive on how I approach this subject with her. The other family members have been so hateful and condemning towards her and that breaks my heart.
Do any of you have any experience on this subject? How do I approach, or acknowledge her in a loving Christian way?

God bless,
Cindee
Click to expand...
I had a cousin who was gay. He has long since passed away. He and his partner were together for over 30 years. Kinda beats some of the heterosexual relationships doesn’t it…lol

It is OK to hate the sin, but not the sinner. We are called to treat individuals in this lifestyle like we would anyone else.

From the CCC. (bolding mine)

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

What you can tell your cousin is that while you don’t approve of her lifestyle, that it in no way affects your love for her. Say it with all kindness and charity, and let her know that you still want to be there for her. You may just be the catalyst she needs for change.

We’ll pray for you, and her.
 
We have a policy in our home. We welcome visitors, and have plenty of room to accommodate them. However, if they wish to share a bed, they must be married, no ifs, ands, or buts. Some have stayed away as a result, but many more either accept the separate accommodations, or else seek accommodation nearby, and visit during the day.

I bring this up as an example of how one can still enjoy people, and their company, while not having to compromise one’s principles to do so. There’s no need to be preachy; matter-of-fact works much better. One can love people without endorsing their situation.

There’s a chance to do some real kindness here by enjoying and appreciating your cousin’s good qualities. It would be as dishonest to ignore them as it would be to overlook what one cannot morally accept in another’s behaviour. May you be blessed and strengthened as you manifest kindness.

Blessings,

Gerry
 
You treat her just like you’d treat any other person - with love, respect, kindness.

As far as “sinner” … aren’t we all? And who’s to judge.

They’ll know we are “Christians by our love”
 
Thank you all so very much. I don’t get to see her very often, just communicate online. I’m just going to show her love and, hopefully, show her Christ through my actions and words. She does know my standing but we have respect for each other.

Thanks again for all your loving advice!

In Christ,
Cindee
 
Just be nice to her and treat her like any other friend/member of the family.

No need to discuss intimate stuff. For one, she likely knows that the Church doesn’t condone same-sex acts. If she knows you’re Catholic, she knows that you won’t approve of same sex activity, and sinful or not, one’s intimate life is one’s personal business so it should never be discussed except with one’s spouse (or a doctor or priest in the course of getting medical, psychological or spiritual advice on the topic).

We are all sinners and fall to our own temptations, so it doesn’t do much good to lecture to others about theirs.
 
LadyHodges said:
Hi all,

I have a 22 year old cousin who is a lesbian. Divorce has pretty much kept her out of the family loop pretty much all her life and only with in the past year we have reconnected.
I am the only Catholic on myside of the family, the rest are pretty much Fundamental Protestants. These family members have told her countless times that she is going to hell, have disowned her, etc… all this within the past few years of her reconnecting with them. She claims to be agnostic and is very anti-Christian & angry because of the other family members behavior.
Since our reconnection she has since told me of her homosexuality. I don’t want to loose a relationship with her like she has with the others. I want to be able to show her a loving Christ, I want to draw her towards Him and not away so I’m very apprehensive on how I approach this subject with her. The other family members have been so hateful and condemning towards her and that breaks my heart.
Do any of you have any experience on this subject? How do I approach, or acknowledge her in a loving Christian way?

God bless,
Cindee
Click to expand...
Love the Sinner, hate the Sin… Treat her fair and with respect, let her know why you do not condone her choices from a Catholic Perspective, but start off the conversation letting her know you love her. Let her know that she is always welcome to go to Mass with you and that Catholic Church would welcome her. No Eucharist, but that we don’t judge we let God do that…
 
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