Homosexual OCD as a teenager

[someperson]

Hey everyone. I’m a teenager, male and am currently going through what I think is Homosexual OCD, I get intrusive thoughts about gay things. I can’t do anything, if a notice a good looking guy, I freak out. I’ve been dealing with this for 2 years, and have kept it personal. I was wondering what I could do, or if anyone is going through anything similar, thanks.

 

[iwritebooks]

Okay. Try this as an experiment. Don’t think of a tiny elephant. What are you doing? I told you not to think of a tiny elephant! Would you please stop thinking of a tiny elephant?

The more you try not to think about it, the more you will think about it. The big thing is to not be hard on yourself for things that you’re not doing deliberately.

 

[someperson]

I wish it was that easy. There are these weird feelings and thoughts I just can’t get past them

 

[prayerrider]

Many people get intrusive thoughts, and sometimes these can be suggestive of various, exceedingly sinful acts. Sometimes they’re more difficult to dismiss than others. What helps is to believe they’re nothing you will ever act on, understand they may even have a demonic origin, and realize they have no power over you. Then, pray. The Hail Mary and the St. Michael Prayer are excellent, as is the Jesus Prayer.

I just reordered some olive wood Jesus prayer beads, as I’m always misplacing them. They’re about $10 on Amazon. It takes less than five minutes to pray one sequence. Some Eastern monastics pray the Jesus prayer all day long! Very powerful.

Fortitude and Christ’s love be with you!

 

[iwritebooks]

I wish it was that easy. There are these weird feelings and thoughts I just can’t get past them

It’s not going to go away. It’s that worrying and obsessing over it will cause it to happen more frequently.

Lust and gluttony are the least of the seven deadly sins. It’s good to not get too bothered by your sexual development while having the humility to recognize the potential to sin and the need to go to confession WHEN you’re in a deliberate sin.

If you’re concerned about same sex desire, check out people like Chris Damian and Eve Tushnet.

 

[Fauken]

If you’re concerned about same sex desire, check out people like Chris Damian and Eve Tushnet.

I don’t think you understand what he means. People with the OCD type of thoughts he is describing do not experience SSA. They instead have intrusive thoughts about it, no matter how much they don’t want them. Think of it like a movie reel being played before your eyes, only your eyelids are taped open. You cannot shake these thoughts away. Due to the nature of these thoughts, people who suffer from this can come to the erroneous conclusion that they experience SSA.

 

[guanophore]

I can’t do anything

Of course you can. Start by talking to your priest.

You can also avail yourself or resources at Courage.

God did not create you for slavery, but for freedom.

There are these weird feelings and thoughts

I am not sure what standard you are using to measure this, but perhaps some mental health counseling is in order.

People with the OCD type of thoughts he is describing do not experience SSA. They instead have intrusive thoughts about it, no matter how much they don’t want them.

I am not sure an assumption can be made that they are entirely unwanted, but if so, then it seems that a spiritual director and mental health assessment can be useful.

Due to the nature of these thoughts, people who suffer from this can come to the erroneous conclusion that they experience SSA.

This makes sense. There are treatments for OCD.

Maybe you are too afraid of being gay that you are constantly thinkng of homosexuality.

This is a possibility that needs to be ruled out so that an effective course of action can be determined.

 

[iwritebooks]

He spoke of merely noticing an attractive guy and freaking out about it.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I’m confused. Do you actually have SSA or are you just noticing that some guy happens to be good-looking?

As a female, I have often noticed other women, whether they’re models, actresses or just some girl I might see on the street or in my daily life, and thought, “Wow, she is really pretty.” When younger, I might have been envious of some of their looks; as an older person less concerned with my own looks, it’s more like I’m just looking at an exceptionally pretty piece of art. I don’t recall ever having been attracted to any of these girls in any sexual sense. If you noticing good-looking guys is similar - you’re just noticing and admiring their looks with no sexual component - then it’s a different situation from actually being aroused by guys you notice.

 

[iwritebooks]

Does not mean he’s gay. Being gay, in his case, means being truly aroused by men, not ‘noticing attractiveness’.

I can’t imagine just seeing someone and becoming truly aroused. That’s just odd.

 

[prayerrider]

I agree OP needs to talk to a priest. I’ve mentioned my own intrusive thoughts in the confessional before and the best advice I’ve received is, essentially, to pray them away. It’s impossible to fill one’s mind with holy prayer and dwell on intrusive thoughts at the same time.

 

[prayerrider]

someperson, a very good priest told me once that he’s had intrusive thoughts even at the altar, while celebrating Mass. I’m guessing he’s not alone. Please realize that you’re not alone either. Many of us suffer from intrusive thoughts. Sometimes I doubt the validity of confession. I second guess myself, question my absolution. I think this is part of the syndrome, as it were.On such occasions we must realize who the great tempter and sower of doubt is, and pray without ceasing.

 

[jtwp5]

I remember seeing a guy once and getting all these feelings towards him but that seem to fade away within a few hours. I don’t even remember how he looks like now. We can all get stuff that just pops up into our head, the trick is not to entertain those thoughts if they’re lustful. I guess being home for the holidays I really haven’t been around that many people my age. Wonder how it’ll be once school starts up again. Sometimes I picture cuddling up with a friend of mine but I try to guide myself to something else.

 

[prayerrider]

Exactly. Just as having common intrusive thoughts like harming others, even children or the elderly, doesn’t mean that person having the thoughts is ever going to do those things.
I think the devil knows exactly how to push our buttons. If he can make us feel self loathing by suggesting things we find abhorrent, he loves it.
We may have little control at times over when and where intrusive thoughts occur (hence the name “intrusive”). But we have total control over how we respond to them.

 

[poche]

I think you should take it easy. Don’t allow yourself to be frozen into this. In a few years you may decide that this is not what you really want.
Also you are not morally responsible for intrusive thoughts that you do not consent to.

 

[BoomBoomMancini]

Yeah, I’m not sure what OP is describing either. Simply noticing that someone is good looking does not mean you want to have sex with them. He does say intrusive thoughts about “gay things” which I assume means sex with men, not just recognizing that a guy is good looking.

OP may have OCD and he may be homosexual, but those are two separate things. I don’t think there is some subset of OCD called “gay OCD.”

 

[humbleseeker]

I was wondering what I could do
[/quote

Talk to your parents, your priest, or a guidance councilor. You are 14 yrs old and struggling with a mental health issue. You need personalized care that strangers on the internet cannot provide. Don’t despair, there is help waiting for you, you just need the courage to ask for it. I, and I’m sure everyone here, will be praying for you.

 

[Sophie111]

Ok, it sounds like you are stressed out and or depressed and have been for some time. Thats when OCD can kick in (I am presuming you do not have a history of OCD).
Please see your GP about the possibility of serious unrecognised depression, it is a mental illness that can be treated.

The 2nd thing is determining what unresolved life issue may be wearing you out.
It may be that you are deeply conflicted between being Catholic and having some sort of homosexual orientation that you are slowly becoming aware of. Or it may not. Your GP will not only suggest anti depressants but also a clinical psychologist to go over these resolvable conflicts…I suggest you seek out a Catholic one.
God bless.

 

[someperson]

Hi sorry for the confusion. I’m pretty sure I had HOCD(Homosexual OCD) which causes a straight person to have fears of being homosexual. I get intrusive thoughts and feelings when for example I see a good looking person of the same sex.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Seek the help of a medical/psychological professional in dealing with OCD.