Homosexuality And Why The Church Is Wrong

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Hi, Wanttobefree,

Sorry about being vague … you wanted to know if your method of quoting prior posts worked … and I was telling you that it did. Congratulations. 🙂

I am confident you will continue to follow Christ faithfully as long as you continue to follow the plan you explained in your prior posts. The answer for all of us lies in asking and then working with the Grace of God. Apart from this we are indeed miserable sinners. With God’s Grace we can all things for it is He who strengthens us.

God bless
Wanttobefree said:
I’m not sure what you mean by “it worked” but I’m glad I don’t need to strain my brain in reply to your post 🙂 I need a rest from all of this thinking.

I’m sure you’re a good decent man. I commend you for being strong in your faith. Well done.

I will go on as best I can. I don’t know what the future holds but I know I need to trust in God who loves me.

I received one of the most heartfelt and sympathetic messages tonight from a complete stranger that really touched my heart. It never ceases to amaze me how loving the Catholic community is. God bless you all, you have hearts bigger than you will ever know.

Peace.
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I’m was actively in the gay lifestyle for over 20 years, and I would beg my brothers in this thread who are having such a difficult time with loneliness and the emotional emptiness of living in compliance with Church teachings to begin reading books about consecrated singles, consecrated virgins, and the like. I found those books to be immensely helpful to me. Fr Dubay has one, Benedict Groeschel, and I can look for others that I’ve read if anyone is interested.

I’m in the process of learning, with God’s help and Grace, that I am called to love and serve. because I’m not married with children, that means that I have more time and energy to serve in my parish. I’ve started a legal clinic in my parish which sits in the middle of the poorest section of the city. I volunteer to help whenever there is a shortage of volunteers, even it’s breaking up concrete with a jackhammer.

Try to avoid the trap of comparing your pain to someone else’s pain–it is a road that leads to despondency, depression, and anxiety. If I have a broken leg and you have a broken arm, which of us is in a worse situation? I have met many people over the years who want to do such a comparison and they are always unhappy. This isn’t limited to persons with SSA, I’ve met sexual assault survivors who do this, incest survivors, car crash, mental illness sufferers, etc. I think it’s part of the human condition, but I believe it is one to be strongly avoided.

Perhaps if loneliness seems insurmountable to you, a roommate or housemate could be found. Don’t practice isolationist behavior–find friends that you can be open and honest with. Choose one family member that you can tell about your struggles and fears.

Be strong in Christ because you can do all things through Him who strengthens you.
 
Hi, Michelles,

Excellent post! 👍

I found real encouragement in how you moved forward with your life.

God bless
michelleds said:
I’m was actively in the gay lifestyle for over 20 years, and I would beg my brothers in this thread who are having such a difficult time with loneliness and the emotional emptiness of living in compliance with Church teachings to begin reading books about consecrated singles, consecrated virgins, and the like. I found those books to be immensely helpful to me. Fr Dubay has one, Benedict Groeschel, and I can look for others that I’ve read if anyone is interested.

I’m in the process of learning, with God’s help and Grace, that I am called to love and serve. because I’m not married with children, that means that I have more time and energy to serve in my parish. I’ve started a legal clinic in my parish which sits in the middle of the poorest section of the city. I volunteer to help whenever there is a shortage of volunteers, even it’s breaking up concrete with a jackhammer.

Try to avoid the trap of comparing your pain to someone else’s pain–it is a road that leads to despondency, depression, and anxiety. If I have a broken leg and you have a broken arm, which of us is in a worse situation? I have met many people over the years who want to do such a comparison and they are always unhappy. This isn’t limited to persons with SSA, I’ve met sexual assault survivors who do this, incest survivors, car crash, mental illness sufferers, etc. I think it’s part of the human condition, but I believe it is one to be strongly avoided.

Perhaps if loneliness seems insurmountable to you, a roommate or housemate could be found. Don’t practice isolationist behavior–find friends that you can be open and honest with. Choose one family member that you can tell about your struggles and fears.

Be strong in Christ because you can do all things through Him who strengthens you.
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michelleds said:
I’m was actively in the gay lifestyle for over 20 years, and I would beg my brothers in this thread who are having such a difficult time with loneliness and the emotional emptiness of living in compliance with Church teachings to begin reading books about consecrated singles, consecrated virgins, and the like. I found those books to be immensely helpful to me. Fr Dubay has one, Benedict Groeschel, and I can look for others that I’ve read if anyone is interested.

I’m in the process of learning, with God’s help and Grace, that I am called to love and serve. because I’m not married with children, that means that I have more time and energy to serve in my parish. I’ve started a legal clinic in my parish which sits in the middle of the poorest section of the city. I volunteer to help whenever there is a shortage of volunteers, even it’s breaking up concrete with a jackhammer.

Try to avoid the trap of comparing your pain to someone else’s pain–it is a road that leads to despondency, depression, and anxiety. If I have a broken leg and you have a broken arm, which of us is in a worse situation? I have met many people over the years who want to do such a comparison and they are always unhappy. This isn’t limited to persons with SSA, I’ve met sexual assault survivors who do this, incest survivors, car crash, mental illness sufferers, etc. I think it’s part of the human condition, but I believe it is one to be strongly avoided.

Perhaps if loneliness seems insurmountable to you, a roommate or housemate could be found. Don’t practice isolationist behavior–find friends that you can be open and honest with. Choose one family member that you can tell about your struggles and fears.

Be strong in Christ because you can do all things through Him who strengthens you.
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I rarely re-quote an entire post like this, but this one bears repeating, on many levels. I will re-emphasize two sections:
michelleds said:
Try to avoid the trap of comparing your pain to someone else’s pain–it is a road that leads to despondency, depression, and anxiety. If I have a broken leg and you have a broken arm, which of us is in a worse situation? I have met many people over the years who want to do such a comparison and they are always unhappy. This isn’t limited to persons with SSA, I’ve met sexual assault survivors who do this, incest survivors, car crash, mental illness sufferers, etc.
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I bolded this last section because I, like Michelle, have met people in these other categories as well. I will add that such a path of “more hurting than thou” intensifies the isolation; by its nature; and by its fruits, it does not draw one into community but sets one apart as unreachable, as if to be so is some kind of perverse prize or honor. Part of the syndrome of the un-healed incest survivor is to replay one’s “special pain” publicly, in perpetuity, bringing it into every possible human relationship and toxifying all of those relationships. (Making others jointly “responsible” for the pain.)

The second part that bears repeating is the liberation to serve which all those who are not in committed human relationships are privileged to experience. In service is redemption. And not just the consecrated celibate (although that is obviously the archetypal lifestyle), but widowed and divorced mothers whose children have left the nest, single adult members of a family whose siblings have scattered and whose parents have died, etc. The freedom to serve transforms that pain and refocuses our efforts constructively instead of inwardly, and in doing us it also helps redeem us from our ongoing sinful tendencies. Service enables us to redefine ourselves as someone who is not a victim but a contributor to the Church universal and to the human community. In Christian service is our true and most liberating identity.

Finally, there are several CAF members who, like Michelle, have discarded the homosexual lifestyle, and now – having been away from it for some time – report that they no longer regularly experience the constant sexual attraction that once bound them, even though they don’t necessarily experience a general heterosexual attraction. They have achieved this by being faithful to spiritual discipline, including a sacramental life. It is not an unreachable state, but like everything difficult, is achieved through struggle.
 
I am an openly gay man and a Catholic. I attend daily mass and receive communion every day. I am certainly not celibate. When I go to confession, I confess promiscuity, but I do not specify that I am gay. Because being gay in and of itself is not a sin, it’s how I was born. If the sex is a sin, then I confess it as promiscuity. Period. People ask me why I don’t practice another religion. I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school as a child. It’s the only religion I’m comfortable with. I always feel wonderful when I leave mass; I never feel unwelcome. I certainly never feel that I’m damning my immortal soul because I receive the Eucharist. On the contrary, I feel uplifted and happy. Please don’t inundate me with messages trying to “save me”. I know God loves me and does not condemn me. I will continue to live my life the way I do, continue to attend daily mass and continue to receive communion. It makes me feel good. End of story. Live your lives and let me live mine. And God bless you.
 
Someone needs to start a thread, Homosexuality And Why Johnny760 Is Wrong. :rolleyes:
 
mark58 said:
I am an openly gay man and a Catholic. I attend daily mass and receive communion every day. I am certainly not celibate. When I go to confession, I confess promiscuity, but I do not specify that I am gay. Because being gay in and of itself is not a sin, it’s how I was born. If the sex is a sin, then I confess it as promiscuity. Period. People ask me why I don’t practice another religion. I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school as a child. It’s the only religion I’m comfortable with. I always feel wonderful when I leave mass; I never feel unwelcome. I certainly never feel that I’m damning my immortal soul because I receive the Eucharist. On the contrary, I feel uplifted and happy. Please don’t inundate me with messages trying to “save me”. I know God loves me and does not condemn me. I will continue to live my life the way I do, continue to attend daily mass and continue to receive communion. It makes me feel good. End of story. Live your lives and let me live mine. And God bless you.
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I’m curious, if you know the sex is wrong then why do you do it?
 
michelleds said:
I’m was actively in the gay lifestyle for over 20 years, and I would beg my brothers in this thread who are having such a difficult time with loneliness and the emotional emptiness of living in compliance with Church teachings to begin reading books about consecrated singles, consecrated virgins, and the like. I found those books to be immensely helpful to me. Fr Dubay has one, Benedict Groeschel, and I can look for others that I’ve read if anyone is interested.

I’m in the process of learning, with God’s help and Grace, that I am called to love and serve. because I’m not married with children, that means that I have more time and energy to serve in my parish. I’ve started a legal clinic in my parish which sits in the middle of the poorest section of the city. I volunteer to help whenever there is a shortage of volunteers, even it’s breaking up concrete with a jackhammer.

Try to avoid the trap of comparing your pain to someone else’s pain–it is a road that leads to despondency, depression, and anxiety. If I have a broken leg and you have a broken arm, which of us is in a worse situation? I have met many people over the years who want to do such a comparison and they are always unhappy. This isn’t limited to persons with SSA, I’ve met sexual assault survivors who do this, incest survivors, car crash, mental illness sufferers, etc. I think it’s part of the human condition, but I believe it is one to be strongly avoided.

Perhaps if loneliness seems insurmountable to you, a roommate or housemate could be found. Don’t practice isolationist behavior–find friends that you can be open and honest with. Choose one family member that you can tell about your struggles and fears.

Be strong in Christ because you can do all things through Him who strengthens you.
Click to expand...
I think this is a great post too. Believe me I am trying to do what you suggest. It’s just so HARD sometimes. I volunteer a lot with two Catholic initiatives, a large portion of my time is taken up with them and I enjoy doing this work and the people I’ve met there are some of my closest friends.

I’m interested to know more about your views on telling people about the struggle i.e. people you know. While this eats me up and sometimes I feel is bursting to come out and probably will eventually I know that if I were to come out it would tear my family apart, possibly drive my father over the edge (read between the lines) and I would lose many many friends, Catholic and non-Catholic. Maybe not lose completely but the relationships would be changed so much that they might as well be lost completely. I think the feelings of loneliness would get so much worse.

I might be piggybacking this thread again so maybe you could PM me if you can help. Thank you.
 
Hi, Mark58,

I’m curious - since this is your first post, what is it that you wanted to accomplish?

God bless
mark58 said:
I am an openly gay man and a Catholic. I attend daily mass and receive communion every day. I am certainly not celibate. When I go to confession, I confess promiscuity, but I do not specify that I am gay. Because being gay in and of itself is not a sin, it’s how I was born. If the sex is a sin, then I confess it as promiscuity. Period. People ask me why I don’t practice another religion. I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school as a child. It’s the only religion I’m comfortable with. I always feel wonderful when I leave mass; I never feel unwelcome. I certainly never feel that I’m damning my immortal soul because I receive the Eucharist. On the contrary, I feel uplifted and happy. Please don’t inundate me with messages trying to “save me”. I know God loves me and does not condemn me. I will continue to live my life the way I do, continue to attend daily mass and continue to receive communion. It makes me feel good. End of story. Live your lives and let me live mine. And God bless you.
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Well, I was reading another post in another thread where a man said he saw an openly lesbian woman, who lives with her partner, receive communion in their church. He was incensed, and was going to speak to the pastor about barring her from communion. All these other posters backed him up saying that yes, he had to do that, he had an obligation to save her from having her soul damned to hell. Huh? Really? Jesus would send a woman to hell because she’s a lesbian and received communion? I don’t think so. And I don’t think any of these posters had “good Christian values” in mind. They’re like a bunch of narrow minded small town gossips who just love to make trouble. So to answer your question, I deliberately joined this site simply to proclaim that I’m actively homosexual and actively Catholic. And I, personally, have no problem reconciling the two. I don’t think Jesus thinks I should be damned to hell for receiving his body every day. And if those earlier hypocrites are gnashing their teeth right now, reading this, so much the better. They can’t report ME to MY pastor now can they? God bless.
 
Hi, Wanttobefree,

Sounds like you are NOT off to a great start on getting a balance between your desires and the genuine teaching of the Catholic Church on the intrinsically disordered activity of homosexual behavior. Up to this point, you have been addressing SSA. Mark appears to be actively advocating for homosexual behavior.

While we are not responsible for “picking our parents” - we are responsible for picking our friends. From the post made by Mark, there is some question in my mind if there has been an effort to deceive the priest by withholding material information in Confession. Requesting advise from such a source appears imprudent to me.

God bless
Wanttobefree said:
I think this is a great post too. Believe me I am trying to do what you suggest. It’s just so HARD sometimes. I volunteer a lot with two Catholic initiatives, a large portion of my time is taken up with them and I enjoy doing this work and the people I’ve met there are some of my closest friends.

I’m interested to know more about your views on telling people about the struggle i.e. people you know. While this eats me up and sometimes I feel is bursting to come out and probably will eventually I know that if I were to come out it would tear my family apart, possibly drive my father over the edge (read between the lines) and I would lose many many friends, Catholic and non-Catholic. Maybe not lose completely but the relationships would be changed so much that they might as well be lost completely. I think the feelings of loneliness would get so much worse.

I might be piggybacking this thread again so maybe you could PM me if you can help. Thank you.
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I’m not “actively advocating” for ANY kind of behavior. As for with holding information in confession, it’s my belief that sex for pleasure is just that, no matter if it’s hetero or homo. But of course I wouldn’t want anyone to be “imprudent”. God bless.
 
Hi, Mark58,

Actually, in my opinion, you are actively delusional.

You may be actively homosexual - but you simply can not be a practicing Catholic.

Of course, you can play at being a Catholic - make up your own rules, decide you are right and the Church is wrong, live as you please and then try to convince others that this is the way to go.

So, I guess it is really past time to unmask and end the deception for yourself. But, you can really stop trying to deceive others right now.

God bless
mark58 said:
Well, I was reading another post in another thread where a man said he saw an openly lesbian woman, who lives with her partner, receive communion in their church. He was incensed, and was going to speak to the pastor about barring her from communion. All these other posters backed him up saying that yes, he had to do that, he had an obligation to save her from having her soul damned to hell. Huh? Really? Jesus would send a woman to hell because she’s a lesbian and received communion? I don’t think so. And I don’t think any of these posters had “good Christian values” in mind. They’re like a bunch of narrow minded small town gossips who just love to make trouble. So to answer your question, I deliberately joined this site simply to proclaim that I’m actively homosexual and actively Catholic. And I, personally, have no problem reconciling the two. I don’t think Jesus thinks I should be damned to hell for receiving his body every day. And if those earlier hypocrites are gnashing their teeth right now, reading this, so much the better. They can’t report ME to MY pastor now can they? God bless.
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Just for clarification, I believe that the post of Wanttobefree you quotes was in direct response to me and not Mark58.
tqualey said:
Hi, Wanttobefree,

Sounds like you are NOT off to a great start on getting a balance between your desires and the genuine teaching of the Catholic Church on the intrinsically disordered activity of homosexual behavior. Up to this point, you have been addressing SSA. Mark appears to be actively advocating for homosexual behavior.

While we are not responsible for “picking our parents” - we are responsible for picking our friends. From the post made by Mark, there is some question in my mind if there has been an effort to deceive the priest by withholding material information in Confession. Requesting advise from such a source appears imprudent to me.

God bless
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wanttobefree
I think this is a great post too. Believe me I am trying to do what you suggest. It’s just so HARD sometimes. I volunteer a lot with two Catholic initiatives, a large portion of my time is taken up with them and I enjoy doing this work and the people I’ve met there are some of my closest friends.
Click to expand...
I’m interested to know more about your views on telling people about the struggle i.e. people you know. While this eats me up and sometimes I feel is bursting to come out and probably will eventually I know that if I were to come out it would tear my family apart, possibly drive my father over the edge (read between the lines) and I would lose many many friends, Catholic and non-Catholic. Maybe not lose completely but the relationships would be changed so much that they might as well be lost completely. I think the feelings of loneliness would get so much worse.
Click to expand...
I might be piggybacking this thread again so maybe you could PM me if you can help. Thank you.
Click to expand...
 
Troll, troll, troll. Who called the troll?
mark58 said:
Well, I was reading another post in another thread where a man said he saw an openly lesbian woman, who lives with her partner, receive communion in their church. He was incensed, and was going to speak to the pastor about barring her from communion. All these other posters backed him up saying that yes, he had to do that, he had an obligation to save her from having her soul damned to hell. Huh? Really? Jesus would send a woman to hell because she’s a lesbian and received communion? I don’t think so. And I don’t think any of these posters had “good Christian values” in mind. They’re like a bunch of narrow minded small town gossips who just love to make trouble. So to answer your question, I deliberately joined this site simply to proclaim that I’m actively homosexual and actively Catholic. And I, personally, have no problem reconciling the two. I don’t think Jesus thinks I should be damned to hell for receiving his body every day. And if those earlier hypocrites are gnashing their teeth right now, reading this, so much the better. They can’t report ME to MY pastor now can they? God bless.
Click to expand...
 
mark58 said:
I’m not “actively advocating” for ANY kind of behavior. As for with holding information in confession, it’s my belief that sex for pleasure is just that, no matter if it’s hetero or homo. But of course I wouldn’t want anyone to be “imprudent”. God bless.
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But your beliefs on the matter are not the Church’s beliefs and teachings…you are effectively saying “not Thy will, but MY will be done.”

You cannot be said to be a practicing Catholic at the moment, if you are deliberately withholding information from the priest when you confess. Part of why we go to Confession as Catholics is to receive advice and guidance pertaining to our particular circumstances. If you are withholding the fact that you engage in homosexual acts from the priest, he cannot help you to the full extent of his capacity, and therefore you are not open to fully being helped.

You are deceiving yourself.
 
tqualey said:
Hi, Wanttobefree,

Sounds like you are NOT off to a great start on getting a balance between your desires and the genuine teaching of the Catholic Church on the intrinsically disordered activity of homosexual behavior. Up to this point, you have been addressing SSA. Mark appears to be actively advocating for homosexual behavior.

While we are not responsible for “picking our parents” - we are responsible for picking our friends. From the post made by Mark, there is some question in my mind if there has been an effort to deceive the priest by withholding material information in Confession. Requesting advise from such a source appears imprudent to me.

God bless
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You’ve lost me. I can’t even understand what you’re saying.

All of this to-ing and fro-ing with you is actually messing with my head, I’m going to call it a day. God bless.
 
Hi, Michelleds,

Thank you for the clarification. You were sooooooo right and I was soooooooooo wrong on that item. I misread the material and I apologize to everyone for the confusion.

Again, thanks for the correction.

God bless
michelleds said:
Just for clarification, I believe that the post of Wanttobefree you quotes was in direct response to me and not Mark58.
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Hi, Wanttobefree,

No, I am the one who was lost because I misread the the post. I apologize for the error.

God bless
Wanttobefree said:
You’ve lost me. I can’t even understand what you’re saying.

All of this to-ing and fro-ing with you is actually messing with my head, I’m going to call it a day. God bless.
Click to expand...
 
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