It’s high time that “LCMS_No_More” faced reality.
You have no idea the realities I’ve faced and face on a daily basis. Perhaps you don’t realize that you’re talking to/about a person who lives with and deals with SSA?
- Too many psychologists have confused the public about the disorder.
Very true.
- Catholics have been in the forefront at enabling homosexuals to face the reality and to cope with it. Fr John F Harvey O.S.F.S., is at the forefront with his book *The Truth About Homosexuality *(The Cry of the Faithful) and his Courage and Encourage Groups.
NEW YORK, January 30, 2009 (
LifeSiteNews.com) - “A recent statement from the American Psychoanalytic Association (APsaA) supporting the inclusion of open homosexuals in the military admits that the medical group’s position on homosexuality is guided by an impetus for social action, rather than medical or scientific data.”
Psychiatrist Dr Jeffrey Satinover in his monumental Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth, provides solid medical and scientific facts which place the “lifestyle” with behavioural problems like alcoholism and drug addiction. He explains that the activity is “rooted in choices the individual has made in the search for pleasure, and which become so powerfully addictive that they become habitual.” For 15 years Dr Satinover has helped over 50% to overcome their homosexual disorder. Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth, Dr Jeffrey Satinover, 1996, Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.]
Of Fr Harvey’s book, Dr Joseph Nicolosi, author of Healing Homosexuality, writes: “ Here is a genuinely Catholic response to the problem of homosexuality, founded on solid psychological principles, with special understanding of a life dedicated to chastity.”
All true. Maybe you haven’t seen my other posts on the subject. In fact, it’s rather amusing that you bring up Fr. Harvey, Dr. Nicholosi, et. al. I’ve read their works extensively and agree with it.
I love Courage and support its work. For me, however, focusing on chastity alone as the way to deal with SSA only makes living with SSA more and more difficult. Why? It ignores the underlying causes of SSA and leaves us dealing only with the symptom. Instead, I choose to focus on healing the underlying issues that caused my SSA and, interestingly, the SSA has diminished greatly. Yes, I still see guys that I find attractive, but I’m able to stop and figure out why (usually inferiority feeling). I also see the futility of same-sex sexual activity because I know why I have done it (connect with the masculine) and how I’ll actually feel afterward (futility, disappointed, guilty, etc.).
What is my path to healing? I met a very cool, easy to get along with man who is straight. He’s helped by by listening to me and treating me like another man. In other words, he doesn’t scold me, he doesn’t treat me like something less than him. He treats me like a “compa” (a Spanish word that you use with good friends, it’s akin to “buddy” or “bro” – actually there’s another word for that and he uses that with me, too). We are able to just hang out and if I’m going through something, he’s there to support me.
The sad part is, I couldn’t find a good, practicing Catholic in order to do this!!! With attitudes like those I find among some here (I won’t name names) how in the world am I supposed to trust any straight man inside the Church for friendship when, instead of getting treated like a man when I need talk about what I’m going through, I get condescended to or told to “sit down, shut up and never, ever bring it up?” That’s the problem I’m pointing out.
Courage groups are great if you want to spend your life in constant stress and turmoil because the weight of SSA doesn’t get lifted off your back by even a microgram. Instead, the additional megaton weight of trying to not act out all the while the issues that lead to SSA still live and flourish. It’s about white knuckle and using techniques to try to distract one’s self instead of trying to figure you “why do I feel this way?” Interestingly, once I started doing that, I found what I need to work on and have done so. That makes chastity easier to deal with. Why? Because I realize where the problem is and deal with it.
Of course, there’s something to be said for group support. I would love it is Courage had a group for people who want to take the journey I’m trying to take, but alas, there isn’t. And since God isn’t inclined to heal my SSA for me, I have to take the journey of healing relatively alone and apart from any help from the people within the Church. That is truly a sad, sad state of affairs. That’s the problem I’m pointing out.
Now, why did I start this journey? Partly because I made this friend. While no one has it all together, he seems to have a lot of stuff together that I don’t. He models for me what I see lacking in myself. I kinda want some of those traits he has (he’s just a man and he loves himself as a man). Not only that, I do NOT want to grown into a bitter old man whose life has been a disappointment and I have ambitions that SSA is, frankly, in the way of.
