Honest please-what would you have done?

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Lovemyfaith

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Tonight I took youngest daughter to Vigil Mass. I was sitting by myself, daughter was in choir loft. Communion was just about over. There were 5 EMHC, two to the far side, two in the back of church and one next to priest. (other two priest NEVER come over to distribute Holy Communion) I noticed the last two to approach were a young man and woman. They approached EMHC next to priest, man moved over to priest, woman reached out her hand, as if you would reach out to take a cookie or a pen from someone. EMHC looked a little confused, priest looked over (I couldn’t hear, but don’t think words were exchanged-I was in 3rd row). Young woman took Communion and walked away holding it, I saw priest glance over and then hand his chalice to EMHC to put back into Tabernacle. He then sat down. I watched as long as I could, never saw young woman consume Communion, and started to stand and said to man next to me “she didn’t consume the Eucharist”. He didn’t seem alarmed, in fact I looked around and no one was doing anything. So I sat and I am not sure if I was mad or sad or confused. Two EMHC came from back, put Communion into Tabernacle and then we went into end of Mass. I knew since there were two EMHCs in the back that the woman was probably halfway back in the pews, so as soon as Mass was over I looked for her. Sure enough I found her and I said to her “You’re not Catholic are you?” She said she was not but her boyfriend was, she was Christian. I asked if she did consume Communion and she did. So I told her she should talk to the priest, and by the way we’d love to have her join the faith and I guess Communion in her faith was for everyone, but not in a Catholic church. I tried to stay friendly and nice, so as not to upset her. I got my daughter walked past the priest. He didn’t hear or see me speak with her, and basically said goodnight.
So I am not the most learned person on the faith, I am certainly no match for a priest. What could I have done?
 
I think you handled this rather well. Speaking to this woman was the most important thing to do and you did it. Hopefully, she will not come forward to receive communion again. I applaud your courage and charity. Keep up the good work and God bless.
 
If the woman didn’t actually consume the Eucharist, then the priest should have taken charge and stopped her. It is extremely important that a person consumes the Host upon receiving it, and if they don’t, then the priest is the one who should know which actions to take. But overall, I would say that you did everything that you could, and that it may have been a very good thing for you to talk to the woman after mass.
 
I think you handled it well. You protected the Eucharist and you instructed her so that she’ll know what to do in the future. And you did it all in a very positive way. I think that’s three for three!
 
You acted very charitably. Information is always a good thing and what you told her is correct…

If I were going to add anything it would be that you could have also showed her the inside cover to the missal. Ususally the guidelines/instructions for receiving communion are found there…it covers all persons, catholics, catholics aware of grave sin, orthodox, non-catholic Christians, and non-Christians…that way she would have an authoritative written guideline and not just some random layperson’s word …

Afterall if her catholic boyfriend did not provide the same instruction / guideline you did there was a reason…

1] perhaps he is knowledgable about the church teaching but was too timid to apporach the subject with his girlfriend…did not want to cause hurt feelings…

or

2] is unaware and poory catechised himsef and as such did not know better…

Either way, your kind words added to the official written guideline in the missal would be a double shot…
 
You handled it very well. I’m sure it was a difficult situation for her because she obviously didn’t know how to handle the situation, but knew that receiving the Eucharist would be wrong for her.

As EMHC’s, we are instructed to watch the person consume the Eucharist and confront them if they don’t. Sometimes the EMHC isn’t able to watch each person all the time.

I think it was admirable that you had the foresight to think of reasons why she didn’t consume the Eucharist right away and approach her in a gentle and understanding manner. I will remember this approach if I ever observe a similar situation.
 
true_believer said:
If the woman didn’t actually consume the Eucharist, then the priest should have taken charge and stopped her. It is extremely important that a person consumes the Host upon receiving it, and if they don’t, then the priest is the one who should know which actions to take. But overall, I would say that you did everything that you could, and that it may have been a very good thing for you to talk to the woman after mass.
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I thought that’s what the ushers were supposed to be on the lookout for. However, I think you handled the situation with grace & charity. 👍
 
Lovemyfaith said:
Tonight I took youngest daughter to Vigil Mass. I was sitting by myself, daughter was in choir loft. Communion was just about over. There were 5 EMHC, two to the far side, two in the back of church and one next to priest. (other two priest NEVER come over to distribute Holy Communion) I noticed the last two to approach were a young man and woman. They approached EMHC next to priest, man moved over to priest, woman reached out her hand, as if you would reach out to take a cookie or a pen from someone. EMHC looked a little confused, priest looked over (I couldn’t hear, but don’t think words were exchanged-I was in 3rd row). Young woman took Communion and walked away holding it, I saw priest glance over and then hand his chalice to EMHC to put back into Tabernacle. He then sat down. I watched as long as I could, never saw young woman consume Communion, and started to stand and said to man next to me “she didn’t consume the Eucharist”. He didn’t seem alarmed, in fact I looked around and no one was doing anything. So I sat and I am not sure if I was mad or sad or confused. Two EMHC came from back, put Communion into Tabernacle and then we went into end of Mass. I knew since there were two EMHCs in the back that the woman was probably halfway back in the pews, so as soon as Mass was over I looked for her. Sure enough I found her and I said to her “You’re not Catholic are you?” She said she was not but her boyfriend was, she was Christian. I asked if she did consume Communion and she did. So I told her she should talk to the priest, and by the way we’d love to have her join the faith and I guess Communion in her faith was for everyone, but not in a Catholic church. I tried to stay friendly and nice, so as not to upset her. I got my daughter walked past the priest. He didn’t hear or see me speak with her, and basically said goodnight.
So I am not the most learned person on the faith, I am certainly no match for a priest. What could I have done?
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What you did was good. When a person approaches to receive Holy Communion in public and it is uncertain if they are Catholic, and they by their actions “ask” to receive. They are to be given Holy Communion. I might add and carefully watched that the Blessed Sacrament is consummed. It is the priests duty to speak with them after Mass. Of course this depends on if he was made aware of the situation and is able to catch the person or the persons they were with.
 
This is probably as good a time as any to relate that there is an ancient Canon, dating back to the time of 3 years minimum catechumenate, which directs, “If any of the unbaptized in innocence or ignorance receives the precious Eucharist, he is to be baptized immediately, for this is a sign that God has surely called him.”
 
bpbasilphx said:
This is probably as good a time as any to relate that there is an ancient Canon, dating back to the time of 3 years minimum catechumenate, which directs, “If any of the unbaptized in innocence or ignorance receives the precious Eucharist, he is to be baptized immediately, for this is a sign that God has surely called him.”
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Well I told her to go talk to the priest, and I did invite her to learn about the faith. I told her we would love to have her.
I really feel like it would have been so easy for me to just stand up and quitely walk over to the side aisle where she was exchaning looks and smiles with the boyfriend (clearly she knew something wasn’t right; he either didn’t know to tell her she shouldn’t have Communion or wasn’t upset by it). The biggest thought going through my mind at that point was what should I do, consume the Communion myself, give it to the priest, or take it up to the EMHC who were closing the Tabernacle.
She was out of my eyesight, at that point she could have done anything with Jesus, put him in her pocket, or even thrown him away. She didn’t, but I didn’t know that until later.
 
Well done. 👍 You handled that really well. You should be proud of yourself, you were very brave and showed great love of the Holy Eucharist. Good for you. 🙂
 
bpbasilphx said:
This is probably as good a time as any to relate that there is an ancient Canon, dating back to the time of 3 years minimum catechumenate, which directs, “If any of the unbaptized in innocence or ignorance receives the precious Eucharist, he is to be baptized immediately, for this is a sign that God has surely called him.”
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The OP said that she responded that she was a Christian. So it’s possible she is already Baptized.
 
Just my :twocents: , but I admire you for your courage to take a stand for what is right. God Bless you! 🙂
 
I agree with the others: Well done. I witnessed something similar once only with a child. I watched her like a hawk until she consummed the Host. If she had not, I was ready to go over to her/her parent(s) and remind them that the host is to be consummed right away.

I told the pastor after about addressing this from the pulpit (as a general reminder/catechesis) but he told me it was okay for me to approach and tell them. So you have my pastors “okay” to back you up, too.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
The OP said that she responded that she was a Christian. So it’s possible she is already Baptized.
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I’m guessing the canon also dates from a time when there weren’t nearly as many divisions among the faithful, and those who’d been baptized had been so in the Catholic Church.
 
I have to say that I am SO proud of you, and the Church is blessed to have you among our members. You handled this with so much grace and love and compassion!

What a great testament to our Faith!

What was the woman’s response, if anything?
 
verdigirl said:
What was the woman’s response, if anything?
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Thank you so much verdigirl, but I still wish I had just quietly gone up to her on the side, where she was holding Communion, and asked if she was Catholic. I just knew she wasn’t, by the way she was smiling at her friend and looking confused. I guess at that point, I am not sure what I would have done, other than consume the Communion myself. She wasn’t obnoxious or hostile, and young, maybe early 20’s. Afterward when I did speak to her, she was very honest about not being Catholic. I don’t understand how her friend didn’t know she should not receive, but they both know now. I did ask her to speak to the priest, but I doubt she did. I guess she felt embarrassed by that point. It is hard to tell with young people where their minds are, but my feeling is she wasn’t trying to make a joke of everything, or didn’t care.
I had a friend in high school, who was not Catholic, and he told me he received Communion once when he went to church with a friend. He wasn’t Baptized either. I guess it happens, probably a lot at weddings and funerals. My own niece who was Baptized but did NOT attend religious classes receives when she goes to church with her friend. She lives in another state and feels that by birthright alone she has a right to receive. The Eucharist is a gift Jesus left with us so He could always be with us physically. There are so many other gifts we have been left by Jesus and must have an appreciation and understanding of before we can receive the gift of Communion, and there will always be a part of Communion that remains a mystery to us. To come into a catholic church (the only religion truly founded by Jesus) and receive that gift without that understanding is wrong.
 
That happened to me once. A boy, pre-teen, had gone to communion. He held out his hand and the priest had given him communion. He walked by me and never consumed the Host. He had this quizzical look on his face. I went to him and gently asked him why he hadn’t eaten the Host. He asked me what it was. I gulped and then explained to him that this was Jesus. I then asked him if he had ever received First Holy Communion. He said no. I asked him if he was Catholic. The mother said that he was baptized by Jesus Christ. Big red flag went up in my brain.

I gently took the host and explained that only Catholics could receive Holy Communion. The mother was upset because she kept saying that Jesus baptized them. I apologized, but still held my ground. It then occurred to me that I could not explain anymore without heading into an argument. The priest finally caught sight and I consumed the Host as I walked back to my pew.

After Mass, he asked me what happened. I explained the whole thing to him and he said I had done the right thing. He was somewhat perplexed about “Jesus baptizing” that group, but he chalked it up to pentecostalism. It was a hard experience.
 
benedictgal said:
That happened to me once. A boy, pre-teen, had gone to communion. He held out his hand and the priest had given him communion. He walked by me and never consumed the Host. He had this quizzical look on his face. I went to him and gently asked him why he hadn’t eaten the Host. He asked me what it was. I gulped and then explained to him that this was Jesus. I then asked him if he had ever received First Holy Communion. He said no. I asked him if he was Catholic. The mother said that he was baptized by Jesus Christ. Big red flag went up in my brain.

I gently took the host and explained that only Catholics could receive Holy Communion. The mother was upset because she kept saying that Jesus baptized them. I apologized, but still held my ground. It then occurred to me that I could not explain anymore without heading into an argument. The priest finally caught sight and I consumed the Host as I walked back to my pew.

After Mass, he asked me what happened. I explained the whole thing to him and he said I had done the right thing. He was somewhat perplexed about “Jesus baptizing” that group, but he chalked it up to pentecostalism. It was a hard experience.
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Bravo! Well done!

I’m wondering what possessed them to attend Catholic Mass in the first place. But I guess the Spirit moves in mysterious ways.
 
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