Honor thy Mother and thy Father, while adopted?

  • Thread starter Thread starter jonkoegler
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

jonkoegler

Guest
I am adopted and have come upon the dilemma that being that I have two sets of parents, which do I honor first? I have always considered my adopted family to be my family, and have gone to great lengths to avoid contact with my only living biological parent, due to her being a heroin addict. Is this wrong? Who do I honor first? Thanks.
 
I don’t know what “honor first” means. Are you in some situation where you have to choose between them? You should love and honor both your adopted parents and your biological mother. I don’t get why it’s an either/or.

I’d also say that if your biological mother is a troubled drug addict, loving and honoring her does not require you to put yourself in a dangerous situation. You can pray for her, but if it’s not a good idea to be around her in her current state, that’s fine.
 
Your adopted parents are now your legal parents, so your focus should be on honoring them.
But of course you can pray for your bio mom. My adopted daughter has had a relationship with her biomom but has cut her off now as she has too many problems. I’m sad for that but it’s her choice.

If your biomom has stopped using drugs and is working on making a better life, it would be fine for you to have a relationship with her. But if that’s not the case, avoiding contact is not wrong. It’s protecting yourself.
God bless.
 
Our son is 26 and he was adopted as an infant. I don’t think his biological parents (and he knows who they are) even show up on his radar when it comes to the commandment to honor his parents.
 
In any adoption circumstances it should be possible to honor one’s birth parents. To honor does not necessarily mean to obey or serve or even to know. Honor can be given by respecting, acknowledging, forgiving, thanking, praying for, and in other ways loving the birth parents.
 
Last edited:
I would agree that the most honor would be due to your adoptive parents. I have always felt that honor could be due to anyone who functions as a parent if the biological parents are out of the picture or fall dramatically short in their obligations as a mother or father. It sounds like this is what you do, so that is good. I struggle with the commandment of honoring my mother and father as well, but for a few different reasons. It is difficult hearing that commandment and applying it to your life if your circumstances fall outside of what is viewed as a “traditional family”, but I think we make due with who we have close to us and love and honor them. You aren’t alone in your struggle with this commandment, so I just wanted to share that.

Honor your biological mother as well. You don’t need to pursue a personal relationship with her or contact her, but pray for her to overcome her addiction. Opiate addiction is a difficult addiction to overcome, but we have saints to intercede for us! Saint Mark Ji Tianxiang, Saint Maximilian Kolbe, and, not a saint, but still pretty great, Honorable Matt Talbot are my go to saints when it comes to interceding for those who suffer from addiction.

I wish you all the best and pray for you. Parents come in many forms and I’m glad you have two parents who you love and honor ❤️
 
How can you just throw away your mom? 😦 My uncle died of a heroin overdose and his kids dishonoring him took it’s toll. He’s dead now. He died alone.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top