Honor thy Mother

[allisonmargaret]

I have been Catholic in my heart for many years, but finally became confirmed this year–which I am thrilled about! Part of my first confession was about how I ignore my mother and am snippy with her over unimportant matters, which is absolutely true and I was sorry about that. I knew that confessing this would mean I should resolve things with her.

However, my mother makes me feel bad about myself. Spending time with her often gives me self-destructive thoughts. Besides having virtually nothing in common, we do not share the same beliefs religiously. She and my dad divorced when I was very young and I grew up fighting with her, eventually leaving to live with my dad in the eighth grade. I’m 21 now. My mother has six children and only two of them, my younger brother and sister, actively communicate with her. I feel sorry for her for that. It must be very painful, but I know that the reason is that she is so hard to communicate and get along with.

It probably sounds like I’m whining. I want to go to confession for my second time this morning, but I feel so guilty for not really doing anything about my mom.

 

[Xantippe]

I have been Catholic in my heart for many years, but finally became confirmed this year–which I am thrilled about! Part of my first confession was about how I ignore my mother and am snippy with her over unimportant matters, which is absolutely true and I was sorry about that. I knew that confessing this would mean I should resolve things with her.

However, my mother makes me feel bad about myself. Spending time with her often gives me self-destructive thoughts. Besides having virtually nothing in common, we do not share the same beliefs religiously. She and my dad divorced when I was very young and I grew up fighting with her, eventually leaving to live with my dad in the eighth grade. I’m 21 now. My mother has six children and only two of them, my younger brother and sister, actively communicate with her. I feel sorry for her for that. It must be very painful, but I know that the reason is that she is so hard to communicate and get along with.

It probably sounds like I’m whining. I want to go to confession for my second time this morning, but I feel so guilty for not really doing anything about my mom.

It sounds like you need less mom time. Just spend exactly as much time with her or talking to her as you can be kind and civil. And when you get to your limit, finish the phone call or end the visit. (Ideally, try to manage your time with her so that you can leave whenever you want–hence entertaining her in your home may be a bad idea.)

Best wishes!

 

[Neofight]

It probably sounds like I’m whining. I want to go to confession for my second time this morning, but I feel so guilty for not really doing anything about my mom.

So do something…it may be easier than you think! But, it’s not just about doing something ABOUT your mom, you need help restoring the relationship between you AND her…take a few moments to pray to Jesus through another mother who knows of pain (our blessed lady) that you both come to be at peace with each other.

Peace and all good!

 

[Christy_Beth]

My daughter (age 30) and I are having our own set of problems. One issue I’ve always had with her is that she’s always been bossy. But if I say anything about it, she goes off on me. At this moment there is no communication. I have no idea how long this will last, but hopefully not long. I am currently trying to lay this before God so He can handle it. For I know that I can’t do anything about it. I’ll be praying for both of our situations.

 

[Xantippe]

So do something…it may be easier than you think! But, it’s not just about doing something ABOUT your mom, you need help restoring the relationship between you AND her…take a few moments to pray to Jesus through another mother who knows of pain (our blessed lady) that you both come to be at peace with each other.

It may not be a question of restoring the relationship, as there may not have ever been a healthy relationship between the OP and her mother.

 

[ajecphotos]

Pray for your mum. Ask God for guidance.

 

[Demetra2]

Since being with your mother leaves you feeling emotionally drained I would suggest limited contact with her. Give yourself a pep talk prior to seeing her and arrange to do something that she would specifically enjoy. But it should have a time limit such as 1-2 hrs for a lunch date etc. If she starts saying negative things try to shut it down by not responding or actually telling her that topic is off limits and bringing up a new subject. I would not talk to her often on the phone if that is draining to you but occasional emails are OK and allow you to keep a certain distance. I would not gossip about family members either. Try to be neutral and up beat if you can. You may not ever have a great relationship with her and it will be necessary to put up boundaries in order to have even limited contact. Talk to your priest and pray for her. God Bless.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

Honor your mother because you were made in her image. Honor your mother because she was made in the image of God, which means you are made in the image of God. Honor your mother because someday you may have a daughter who might act more like your mother than she does you. Safeguard the goods of her person, freely allow communication, respect for the dignity of your mother, and the assiduous practice of fraternity. Peace is “the tranquillity of order.” Peace is the work of justice and the effect of charity. Strive for this to honor your family (past and future)