Honor your (cruel) Mother and your (cruel) Father?

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AgnosTheist

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Should Parents be honored even if they have been inhumanly cruel to you?

Like the parents who used a 7 month old child in a tug-of-war fight.

The mother who pressure washed her 4yr old in a car wash.

The parents abandoned an infant in a freezing park.

The parents who pimped their daughter.

etc. etc.

youtube.com/watch?v=rCz0-HY1TLU
 
That’s like asking if your child should be loved if he gets into drugs, beats you, calls you names, keeps you locked up, steals your money, etc.

IOW: The mere fact that somebody is your parent (or the fact that somebody is your child) means that you have some sort of duty to them. . .and that duty is there whether the parent (or the child) is ‘deserving’ of it.

Yes. . .there are rotten parents out there who abuse and even kill their kids.

And rotten kids (and NOT even because they had rotten parents either) who abuse and even kill their parents. Melendez brothers, anyone?

Bottom line, even if your father is an alcoholic and your mother beats you, you owe them the acknowledgment (the ‘honor’ if you will) of them being the ones who brought you into the world. They may individually be rotten people, independent of their being parents, but they are still ‘your’ parents.

That doesn’t mean that you should lie down and let them do rotten things to you ‘because they’re your parents’, or that you should fantasize or excuse their ACTIONS. But you know that, I’m sure.

Further, the parents with ‘rotten children’ do not need to let the children abuse them, but they do owe their child a duty to keep on loving them (in the Christian sense of love, which is a vastly greater ‘love’) despite the ACTIONS of the children being horrible.

And face it, the majority of parents (and children) are pretty decent, and the parents “deserve” honor and the children ‘deserve’ love. . .and they give it and get it.

The ones who are ‘outside’ the norm? Well, maybe if we keep on praying for them and modeling what is ‘right’, they’ll finally ‘get it’. There is always hope, you know. I’m sure you don’t really think that even an abuser is totally beyond the pale and can NEVER change, beg for forgiveness, and do everything possible to make up for abuse.
 
To “honor” father and mother is not the same as imitating their cruel or evil deeds. It means giving them the service that a good son or daughter owes to his parents. In a situation where parents are “cruel” to their children, the children are the more needed by such parents. Think of ways what service are needed by our parents to bring them closer to God. In that way we still honor our “cruel” parents.
 
AgnosTheist said:
Should Parents be honored even if they have been inhumanly cruel to you?

Like the parents who used a 7 month old child in a tug-of-war fight.

The mother who pressure washed her 4yr old in a car wash.

The parents abandoned an infant in a freezing park.

The parents who pimped their daughter.

etc. etc.

youtube.com/watch?v=rCz0-HY1TLU
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A parent must be honorable first. They will always be your parent but in order to honor them, they must first be honorable.
 
agangbern said:
To “honor” father and mother is not the same as imitating their cruel or evil deeds. It means giving them the service that a good son or daughter owes to his parents. In a situation where parents are “cruel” to their children, the children are the more needed by such parents. Think of ways what service are needed by our parents to bring them closer to God. In that way we still honor our “cruel” parents.
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What do you owe somebody who abandoned you freezing to death in a park? Who is responsible to who? Children never asked to be born!
 
AgnosTheist said:
Should Parents be honored even if they have been inhumanly cruel to you?

Like the parents who used a 7 month old child in a tug-of-war fight.

The mother who pressure washed her 4yr old in a car wash.

The parents abandoned an infant in a freezing park.

The parents who pimped their daughter.

etc. etc.

youtube.com/watch?v=rCz0-HY1TLU
Click to expand...
If you are receiving your theology from that George Carlin video then I can see how you have no idea what giving honor to anyone means. Jesus exhorts us to love our enemies as He did while He was being nailed to the cross. It’s the people like yourself and Geroge Carlin (your mentor) that find the evil in this world to undermine the beautiful gift of our free will and use that as a basis for bashing God’s written word (ten commandments).

Parents are to be honored for their roles and their stewardship for their children. Obviously if a parent abuses a child, appropriate steps need to be taken to protect these children. But the Gospel of Jesus Christ commands us to see Him in all people, even those who sin like me and you.

I would have taken your question a little more seriously had you not laid a George Carlin video as the example of your reasoning. Oh and why do you have ten fingers and ten toes?? Maybe, as he did, you should cut those down to two also. What a bunch of hogwash…Good day…teachccd
 
Honoring in Biblical language is not necessarily a feeling of reverence, but implies due obedience as well. You only have to honoring parents is the same as honoring the rulers of the state or the pastors of the Church. You only have to obey them in as much as they are acting within the authority given to them by God. If they act outside that authority, they do not have to be obeyed–in that case “it is better to obey God, rather than men.”
 
I was always impressed that George Carlin knows more about the Catholic Church and the Catholic religion than the vast majority of Catholic laypeople.

What dismayed me the most, though, is that George Carlin … was not given … the gift of faith.

He has exquisite knowledge … he has obviously done his homework and reading … but he has no … belief.

No understanding.
 
AgnosTheist said:
What do you owe somebody who abandoned you freezing to death in a park? Who is responsible to who? Children never asked to be born!
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If a parent is dangerous the child should be taken away. For some people, no contact with their parents is the safest course. My own mother was abusive but when she turned her abuse toward my children I had to finally break contact with her. Yet, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t honor her in the only way available to me. I did pray for her. Sometimes that is all that one can do.

So, the answer is that the child who was abandoned in the park-if they had lived- could have prayed for their parents’ souls but they don’t have to have any contact with the abusive parents.

Perhaps you are thinking of honor as a synonym for blind obedience or remaining in a dangerous relationship. We are not required to do either as Christians.
 
AgnosTheist said:
👍 👍

honor is earned.
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What about Asian cultures? Don’t they honor their elders to a much greater degree then we in America do?

I bring this up because I have noticed that some people have problems with certain beliefs in Christianity but tend to turn a blind eye to the similar beliefs in other cultures.

So, the same person who might find all sorts of reasons that honoring your parents is wrong for Christians would be enamored by the Asian concept of honoring elders.🤷 I am not saying that you are being this contradictory, of course, but I am pointing out that I have heard similar contradictions when the subject of honoring our parents/elders is brought up by some people.
 
Al_Masetti said:
I was always impressed that George Carlin knows more about the Catholic Church and the Catholic religion than the vast majority of Catholic laypeople.

What dismayed me the most, though, is that George Carlin … was not given … the gift of faith.

He has exquisite knowledge … he has obviously done his homework and reading … but he has no … belief.

No understanding.
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How sad…:crying:
 
I think at some point, if you have cruel parents, you need to grow enough in Christ to forgive them/him/her. It’s tough, but doable.
 
The problem arises in the interpretation of the commandment. What exactly does it mean to honour one’s mother and father? What duties does this honour entail?

Anyone with a CCC or some such to shed light on this?
 
Ghoti said:
The problem arises in the interpretation of the commandment. What exactly does it mean to honour one’s mother and father? What duties does this honour entail?
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This is actually an interesting point–honoring means more than obeying and treating well. It also means to restore a person’s honor when they forfeit it…which, as many of you probably haven’t realized, often involves punishing them or helping them be punished.

In the case of abusive parents, it is honoring them to report the abuse. That way the stain of the dishonor may be cleansed by punishment.

Sheesh, do any of you know thing one about any non-Western cultures? Or even premodern Western ones?

Fairly basic stuff, kiddies.
 
Hastrman said:
In the case of abusive parents, it is honoring them to report the abuse.
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Sounds odd. You honor abusive parents by reporting them to the police and putting them in jail?

Who agrees with this? I agree with reporting them, but i just cant see how that classifies as honouring them. 🤷
 
AgnosTheist said:
Sounds odd. You honor abusive parents by reporting them to the police and putting them in jail?

Who agrees with this? I agree with reporting them, but i just cant see how that classifies as honouring them. 🤷
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In jail they could get the help-maybe-that they need. Plus you could be considered as honoring the ideal of parenthood by punishing those people who misuse their position as parents.
 
deb1 said:
In jail they could get the help-maybe-that they need.
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thats a big ‘maybe’.
deb1 said:
Plus you could be considered as honoring the ideal of parenthood by punishing those people who misuse their position as parents.
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the commandment say ‘honor your mother & father’, NOT ‘honor the ideals of parenthood’.

This commandment is simply negotiable. 😃
 
What good does not honoring a parent do? Two wrongs never make a right. Resentment will only eat you up inside.

My husband grew up with a mentally and physically cruel alcoholic parent. Of all the siblings, he was the only one that had contact with him as adults. We’ve always lived in a different state from him. When my husband would call him and ‘humor’ his craziness I’d always ask why. He always said the Bible commands to honor your father and mother, he loves me but has never known how to show it. Although we didn’t visit much, we always sent photos or the kids and birthday/father’s day cards. My father-in-law recently passed and my husband is content with his relationship with his father. He doesn’t fret about the father he didn’t have but accepts the father he was given. He has healing and closure while his siblings do not.

Although he honored his father, he never had a lot of respect for the person he was. People like my father-in-law and the other parents mentioned throughout this thread live a sad existence. I’d argue that many of them are mentally ill. They are greatly in need of prayer.
 
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