By not dwelling on it, and not resenting them; probably by not telling anyone (keeping their shame to yourself, in other words) if there’s nothing to be done about it. Maybe pray for them when they’re dead.
How can you not tell someone that story? Everyone asks each other about their parents, or at least family in general. What is she supposed to do, just hum and stare off into the distance and ignore whenever such conversations occur?
You ask some honest questions.
Pray for them and forgive them. Forgiveness, please understand, doesn’t always mean having contact with the people who hurt you. It does mean letting go of the pain. Sometimes letting the anger and pain go is a long process, but I do think that God can give a person the grace to do so.
I agree. Part of healing is getting the anger and pain out of you. Some people, women especially, need to talk and talk about these type of hurts.
Parenting does not end in the delivery room; in fact, it starts there. The relationship between parents and children is a two-way street. Yes, children should honor their mother and father - esp. when the said parents are doing their jobs right. Parents who show their kids respect and guide them in the right way gently rather than harshly will get much better results. The children are much more likely to return that respect as well because A.) they learned how from their parents and B.) the natural conscience that God gives us all would push them to do so. (How easy it is to be nice to somebody who is nice to you, right?)The answer depends on how old you are. If you are under 18 it won’t be much longer before you can either join the military or go off to college, thus escaping your parents to some extent.
Repeat after me:
When your parents remind you of the commandment to obey your parents, remind them that the commandment to obey parents also contains a commandment to the parents, to not frustrate and provoke their children.
yeah so long as you are their dependent.
jmcrae, you just gave this young person powerful ammunition against his parents.Repeat after me:
“Mom, Dad, we need to talk.”
Organize a family meeting with your parents and ask them to start communicating with you about their expectations. Let them know that you no longer appreciate being treated like a five year old.
When your parents remind you of the commandment to obey your parents, remind them that the commandment to obey parents also contains a commandment to the parents, to not frustrate and provoke their children.
Ephesians 6:1-4
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
4 **And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. **
I live to serve.jmcrae, you just gave this young person powerful ammunition against his parents.
Yep. I think it will be a good wake-up call for them, to start communicating with him like the young man that he is.I can see it now. “Young man, you are supposed to honor me.”
“Yes, Dad, but you aren’t supposed to provoke me. LEt me name you the chapter and verse.”
Can you imagine his parents reactions?
Repeat after me:
“Mom, Dad, we need to talk.”
Organize a family meeting with your parents and ask them to start communicating with you about their expectations. Let them know that you no longer appreciate being treated like a five year old.
When your parents remind you of the commandment to obey your parents, remind them that the commandment to obey parents also contains a commandment to the parents, to not frustrate and provoke their children.
You’re absolutely right, but I would make one suggestion: Since these parents seem to be very narrow-minded, it may be a good idea to have this talk with a third party present such as a counselor or their parish priest or deacon. Brian may feel some “protection” from this third party as he says exactly what he wants to say and the parents could benefit from the same third party’s fresh perspective. If he starts this conversation with his parents alone, I fear that they simply will not listen to him. Of course, there is always the risk of reprecussions at home if Brian tells somebody else “their business,” but if it’s bad enough, he can always call the cops - if it comes to that. (Not trying to scare you!!) However, said reprecussions should not in any way prevent Brian from talking to a third party. If I were him, I’d do it and soon.
Tracy
I agree. There are a lot of sperm and egg donors out there.
Did you even ask her permission to use her credit card to begin with? I’m sure my kids would say that when I ground them, it’s for no reason when I know better that there is always one. They just don’t recognize it as valid.
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