Hopefully prayer will be enough

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Anglewannabe

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Well, I am heart broken right now. My next door neighbor lives with his mom. Go back about 5-6 years ago and his about 12 year old daughter would visit on weekends. She was like a little girl telling me about all the things she did at school. Then she moved in and had a boyfriend who bought her a dozen roses AND a gift for valentines day. She would tell me about the dances he would take her to.

Well, I had not seen her in a while. And about 1-2 months ago, I bumped into a teenager with a deep cracking voice. I was not sure if it was her or now ‘him’. I saw this teenager a few times and keep hoping my eyes were playing tricks on me and that it was a different kid.

Well… we went up the elevator together and she went into the next door apartment, I am HEART broken. She is obviously on the way to becoming a man (or whatever it is called). I can still remember the innocent little 12 year old girl and it is SO sad that she is now going through a gender change.

I talk as if nothing and try my best to hide and shocked facial expressions. I ask her about her day, but still, I just have to wonder if prayer will be enough.

It is so much sadder to see it in my life than to simply read about it

Angie
 
With the exception of God, there is nothing more powerful than prayer. Keep praying!!
 
Are you 100% certain? I can think of two possibilities. One is that I have mistaken my own nieces and nephews for each other after not seeing them for a mere 6 months. People can change incredibly in a very short time span at any time during childhood, but especially between the ages of about 10 and 18. Since you have not had the courage to talk to the person in question, you may be mistaking a similar-looking relative for the girl you once knew. After all, you have not changed much, right? How is it that she has not greeted you?

The other thought is that testosterone is not just a hormone that kicks in for males. Some females also experience deepening voices when they hit their teen years. (Have you heard Barbara Jordan give a speech?) Any of us might experience changes in our bodies that are substantial. Those are the years when many of us don’t have the self-possession to like what we get, no matter what anyone else thinks. The last thing a young woman who is still getting used to the idea of having a deep voice needs are neighbors who think she’s trying to transition into a man.
 
EasterJoy said:
Are you 100% certain? I can think of two possibilities. One is that I have mistaken my own nieces and nephews for each other after not seeing them for a mere 6 months. People can change incredibly in a very short time span at any time during childhood, but especially between the ages of about 10 and 18. Since you have not had the courage to talk to the person in question, you may be mistaking a similar-looking relative for the girl you once knew. After all, you have not changed much, right? How is it that she has not greeted you?

The other thought is that testosterone is not just a hormone that kicks in for males. Some females also experience deepening voices when they hit their teen years. (Have you heard Barbara Jordan give a speech?) Any of us might experience changes in our bodies that are substantial. Those are the years when many of us don’t have the self-possession to like what we get, no matter what anyone else thinks. The last thing a young woman who is still getting used to the idea of having a deep voice needs are neighbors who think she’s trying to transition into a man.
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I owe you an apology…I read your post too fast. I thought you had not talked with her.

You talk to her and she hasn’t told you she is transitioning? She hasn’t told you to address her by a different name, for instance? I mean, do you call her by her name, or do you act as if she is a total stranger?

If you are not 110% sure this is the same person, all you have to do is ask if this teen ever hears from his/her old friend, X (the one who gave her the valentine, but simply refer to him as her friend, Bob, or whatever his name was). If he/she looks at you blankly, then apologize profusely and say you had her mixed up with someone else…which you probably do, if that is the reaction. As I said, people change incredibly over 5-6 years’ time.
 
EasterJoy said:
I owe you an apology…I read your post too fast. I thought you had not talked with her…
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Apology accepted:)
EasterJoy said:
You talk to her and she hasn’t told you she is transitioning? She hasn’t told you to address her by a different name, for instance? I mean, do you call her by her name, or do you act as if she is a total stranger?.
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This is the funny thing. Although we make brief chit chat in the elevators, we never exchanged names. I suppose I could say, ‘I am sorry I forget your name’ and see what she replies
EasterJoy said:
If you are not 110% sure this is the same person, all you have to do is ask if this teen ever hears from his/her old friend, X (the one who gave her the valentine, but simply refer to him as her friend, Bob, or whatever his name was). .
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Again I don’t know his name. I did ask if she has done any babysitting lately and she gave an odd response back. However, I suspect that is because when I said it, it was the first time I had seen her in a while and it was my akward attempt to see if it was the same person.

It is not just that her voice is deepening, it is her mannerism, the way she dress more like a male and her legs are VERY harry. This doesn’t look like a girl who simply hates to shave.
 
Anglewannabe said:
Apology accepted:)

This is the funny thing. Although we make brief chit chat in the elevators, we never exchanged names. I suppose I could say, ‘I am sorry I forget your name’ and see what she replies.

Again I don’t know his name. I did ask if she has done any babysitting lately and she gave an odd response back. However, I suspect that is because when I said it, it was the first time I had seen her in a while and it was my akward attempt to see if it was the same person.

It is not just that her voice is deepening, it is her mannerism, the way she dress more like a male and her legs are VERY harry. This doesn’t look like a girl who simply hates to shave.
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If it has been 5-6 years if this is the same person, and it may not be the same person. It has been a long time! It is OK to admit, “I’m sorry, you look so familiar, but try as I might, I cannot place your name. Have we been introduced, or do I have you mixed up with someone else?” Then see what she says. If it is the same person, you can say, “I was hoping to see you again! You used to be one of the friendliest neighbors I had! It has been a long time!” If it is not, you can say, “Well, I’m sorry if I’ve acted weird, trying to figure out where we’ve met. It would seem that we haven’t. I’m pleased to have you as a neighbor, though!”

No matter what she (or he) has going on with her mannerisms, kindness and welcoming of this “new neighbor” won’t be out of place. You can’t know what your little friend of old has been through in the last several years.

By the way, though, if this is not your old friend but someone who lives in the same household, contact the older neighbors and ask them how the family has been.
 
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