Hopeless

[The_Lost_One]

I have a situation that I can’t really seem to overcome. How do you truly forgive someone for hurting you? There is someone that has done terrible things to me and my children and I can’t seem to let it go. It is to the point that I think about it constantly and I feel like I am letting it control my life. I have prayed for the grace to stop my obsession with it but can’t seem to let go of my desire for revenge or anger that nothing bad seems to happen to this person. I don’t know what to do. I know it is a sin to hold revenge and hate in your heart but I feel like I am being consumed by it.

 

[maryj]

Bring it to the confessional and dump it there.

 

[honeysuckle]

Your dilemma has been throughout my life the one sin that I have always struggled with. It is very difficult, and the first step is to stop trying to make yourself feel differently. Instead, take it all to God. I think taking it to confession is a very good idea. Also take it to prayer everyday and tell God how angry you are, without fearing the sinfulness of your state of being. You are trusting God to cleanse you of this.

The second step is to ask God to show you His mercy for you. Meaning, you have to fully comprehend and understand the gravity of your own sins, and how extensive God’s mercy is for you. When you see how God has had the most awesome mercy on you, then you will not be able to withhold it from this other.

Remember, the Scripture says when you bless those who curse you, you heap burning coals upon their head.

 

[happyseppy]

Your dilemma has been throughout my life the one sin that I have always struggled with. It is very difficult, and the first step is to stop trying to make yourself feel differently. Instead, take it all to God. I think taking it to confession is a very good idea. Also take it to prayer everyday and tell God how angry you are, without fearing the sinfulness of your state of being. You are trusting God to cleanse you of this.

The second step is to ask God to show you His mercy for you. Meaning, you have to fully comprehend and understand the gravity of your own sins, and how extensive God’s mercy is for you. When you see how God has had the most awesome mercy on you, then you will not be able to withhold it from this other.

Remember, the Scripture says when you bless those who curse you, you heap burning coals upon their head.

I am in full agreement with this poster. Forgiveness is rarely instantaneous. It is a process. Once we realize that, and resolve to stay open to God, we are able to have a better perspective and be patient with ourselves and others.

Peace,
Kelly

 

[cheeto1]

Forgiveness is rarely instantaneous. It is a process.

Here’s how I start the process. I do the part that I can do.
I say "I forgive (person’s name) for (specifically what they did).
This is the part I can do as a human, God just has to do the
rest Himself. It really does work to this extent: I wish no one
ill will.

 

[Conservative]

Dear Lost One -

Your topic and your Board name speak volumes. Yes, we all have times (I suppose) when true forgiveness, as Jesus taught, seems impossible. But never say “hopeless” - never despair.

Whatever the sin committed against you and yours, talk to God - to Jesus and Our Lady. Tell them how difficult your situation is regarding the forgiveness issue. Ask God the Father for the hope and help - ***by His Divine Grace and Mercy, through Our Lady’s intercession and in the Name of His Divine Son, Jesus. * ** I use those words often when I say a prayer that isn’t a formal “Our Father” or a “Hail Mary”. And talk to a priest - or special confessor about this. It sounds to me like you have a serious grievance that is hurting you - not that you have forgiveness issues in general. But please don’t feel it’s hopeless - and please do keep trying. I know it isn’t always easy.

God bless you.