Hoping to Climb Off The Fence -- Need Prayers, Input

[terilamb]

I joined the forum several years ago, though I’ve never posted much. Have thought for years about looking into becoming Catholic and decided that this year, I need to absolutely decide one way or the other. I inquired with two area churches last fall what day/time their RCIA was held but never attended. Have been attending a Lutheran church on and off since '08 and love the liturgical service and the people there, but resigned this past week from the two activities I was in and don’t feel I can or should return there with the doctrinal differences I have with the ELCA. Most of my questions about Catholic theology and practices have been answered, between Catholic Answers radio and various books I have read. But it still feels like such a huge step that part of me is not totally ready to make. I’m married and my husband stopped attending with me when I switched to the Lutheran church from Evangelical, and I’m sure he wouldn’t understand and we’d be unequally yoked. My best friend (more like a sister to me) is VERY anti-Catholic and would feel I’d lost my mind. Also, when I tried attending two Catholic churches a couple years ago, I liked the one in the next town a lot better than the one in my town. The church I liked better is 17 miles away. I work full-time and play catch-up on everything else on the weekends, and that feels like a long distance to drive to/from church. Lastly, though I do understand the Catholic rule about HAVING to attend Mass each week, the fact that missing is a mortal sin I would have to confess feels so legalistic to me. I know it is VERY important to be faithful about attending church. But I get frequent headaches and often don’t feel well in the morning, and I would think God would understand if I occasionally didn’t feel physically up to attending, yet the Church apparently doesn’t allow that, and this does bother me. I would appreciate prayer and welcome any insight from anyone here who can relate to my situation. I plan to continue to read books in the coming week that I hope will make this clearer for me, and I do hope to attend Mass next Sunday, since it will be Palm Sunday. Thanks in advance for any replies. Teresa

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance & direction in your time of need.

 

[tbcrawford]

Hi Teresa
Welcome My suggestion to you would be to find out when a week day Mass is on at a church near you. Go along and see what you think. After Mass try to have a chat with the Priest and ask if you could have a meeting with him. At the meeting tell him all that you have written and he will be able to guide you spiritually.
That is what I would do if I were in your position.
God bless you

 

[Dorothy]

I joined the forum several years ago, though I’ve never posted much. Have thought for years about looking into becoming Catholic and decided that this year, I need to absolutely decide one way or the other. I inquired with two area churches last fall what day/time their RCIA was held but never attended. Have been attending a Lutheran church on and off since '08 and love the liturgical service and the people there, but resigned this past week from the two activities I was in and don’t feel I can or should return there with the doctrinal differences I have with the ELCA. Most of my questions about Catholic theology and practices have been answered, between Catholic Answers radio and various books I have read. But it still feels like such a huge step that part of me is not totally ready to make. I’m married and my husband stopped attending with me when I switched to the Lutheran church from Evangelical, and I’m sure he wouldn’t understand and we’d be unequally yoked. My best friend (more like a sister to me) is VERY anti-Catholic and would feel I’d lost my mind. Also, when I tried attending two Catholic churches a couple years ago, I liked the one in the next town a lot better than the one in my town. The church I liked better is 17 miles away. I work full-time and play catch-up on everything else on the weekends, and that feels like a long distance to drive to/from church. Lastly, though I do understand the Catholic rule about HAVING to attend Mass each week, the fact that missing is a mortal sin I would have to confess feels so legalistic to me. I know it is VERY important to be faithful about attending church. But I get frequent headaches and often don’t feel well in the morning, and I would think God would understand if I occasionally didn’t feel physically up to attending, yet the Church apparently doesn’t allow that, and this does bother me. I would appreciate prayer and welcome any insight from anyone here who can relate to my situation. I plan to continue to read books in the coming week that I hope will make this clearer for me, and I do hope to attend Mass next Sunday, since it will be Palm Sunday. Thanks in advance for any replies. Teresa

terilamb,

The only thing I could think of to say is to put Jesus first, and ask Him to help you to focus and not be disturbed by what others say, think or feel.

That is what our Lord meant when he said “I have come to bring a sword not peace…”
He wasn’t talking about fighting, but that others opinions about what we are doing when we follow our Lord should not stop you to do so. They may not agree and be upset, but pray for the strength to withstand it, and if they leave your friendship, then just keep praying for them.

Jesus deserves our all, and will help you in the struggle, if you stay close to Him.

I’m sure others can respond to your other concerns.

Blessings to you on your spiritual journey.

Dorothy

 

[Trident_H]

You’re allowed to miss Mass if you’re sick. So don’t worry about that one.

 

[MSSheBear]

:twocents: I am a convert. It took me about 5 years to get around to it so to speak. So in my opinion and from what I have observed, ahem, you really need to get into Mass. I believe that is where many converts slip up. I loved the first Mass I attended and I still love Mass. Eventually you will pick the rest of it up… The other thing I recommend for a convert is to pray the rosary everyday.

 

[angell1]

I’m just curious but why do you like one parish better than the other?

also, if mornings are difficult for you, gerenally, there are evening masses as well or later in the day at least

 

[Dorothy]

Even if one prefers a parish further away, if it is a problem to get there at times it is good to remember that a Mass is still a Mass,…Jesus comes to you in the Eucharist!

If there are certain activities in the parish further away, at times you may wish to go there if possible. (Bible study, etc.)

 

[St_Francis]

If one is sick is just one of the few reasons the obligation is lifted. The obligation is there to remind us to put God above mundane things like sports, partying, etc. But caring for those who are ill, caring for babies, etc, lift the obligation. Other instances: working, car trouble, bad weather making transportation dangerous, having to bring in a crop before the rain ))… Stopping to help people who’ve had an accident (this happened to us)…

Not liking the Mass does not count, no matter how bad it is (oops).

 

[guanophore]

Have thought for years about looking into becoming Catholic and decided that this year, I need to absolutely decide one way or the other.

May God richly bless your desire to follow His call.

But it still feels like such a huge step that part of me is not totally ready to make.

You can’t go by feelings. there will always be some reluctance. That is normal when people are making changes. We are ambivalent by nature.

I’m married and my husband stopped attending with me when I switched to the Lutheran church from Evangelical, and I’m sure he wouldn’t understand and we’d be unequally yoked.

Where God guides, He provides. Since you are married you can just leave this in HIs hands.

My best friend (more like a sister to me) is VERY anti-Catholic and would feel I’d lost my mind.

Perhaps you are called to influence her life also? Correct some of her misconceptions?

Lastly, though I do understand the Catholic rule about HAVING to attend Mass each week, the fact that missing is a mortal sin I would have to confess feels so legalistic to me.

Those who fall away usually start by forsaking the assembly, and this rule is to protect the faithful from backsliding.

I know it is VERY important to be faithful about attending church. But I get frequent headaches and often don’t feel well in the morning, and I would think God would understand if I occasionally didn’t feel physically up to attending, yet the Church apparently doesn’t allow that, and this does bother me.

How did you come to decide this? When something does bother you, it is best to find out what the church actually teaches first.

I would appreciate prayer and welcome any insight from anyone here who can relate to my situation. I plan to continue to read books in the coming week that I hope will make this clearer for me, and I do hope to attend Mass next Sunday, since it will be Palm Sunday. Thanks in advance for any replies. Teresa

 

[exnihilo]

As a convert I can relate to much of what you said. It is fun to explore the Catholic Church and incorporate her beliefs without making any commitment. Who likes commitment as opposed to freedom? But as it turns out our greatest freedom is in the Church where we find the Sacraments and freedom from sin. Joining the Church is like marriage, as is obvious from the many references to marriage in Holy Scripture. And it isn’t like modern marriage which is a loose partnership that is easily dissolved. Ultimately you just have to make the commitment.

There may be people who think you lost your mind if you join the Church. But you don’t join the Church to please people. You join because you are convinced of her truth and to not join would be to act against your conscience. Jesus said following Him would cost you. What price do we pay in modern America compared to the price early Christians paid?

As for Mass attendance you can miss for good reason such as sickness. I hurt my back during my conversion process. I didn’t attend Mass that week and had no hesitation to since I was in extreme pain and could barely get up. The Church is reasonable.

The rules may look legalistic but look at civil law. It is far more legalistic. I think you end up needing more rules as man becomes more legalistic, in seeking to escape from doing good, not necessarily because the authority is more legalistic.

I pray the Holy Spirit gives you the grace you need to confidently enter the Church.

 

[cstheriot]

The Eucharist is our “daily bread”. It is in this that Jesus comes to dwell with us fully. Not just around us. We consume him, and he really physically becomes one with us. He longs to meet us and be with us. That is why it is important to go to mass. It may be hard, but I try to look at it less legalistically, and more like a loving requirement. In other words, if you want to form a relationship with someone, you have to spend the time with them. Same with Jesus. And all he asks is that we give him 1 hour every week. In receiving him at the mass, in the Eucharist, we receive our spiritual nourishment to continue to fight evil in our lives. I know in my experience, when I miss mass, or fail to receive Jesus that week, my week is so much harder, and temptations so much stronger. It is important to receive him every week.

I will keep you in my prayers as you go though this time of discernment. May God bless you!

 

[Magdalen2013]

Did you know that many parishes have a Vigil Mass on Saturday evening that fulfills the Sunday obligation? If you’re not a morning person, this alternative may work for you.

NOW, you still might have to attend Sunday morning mass while you’re in RCIA, but after that you’re free to pick whatever Mass time works best for you.

 

[terilamb]

Thanks to so many of you for the thoughtful responses! I plan to answer you in detail as soon as I can. But it looks like I won’t be able to get online at home till Wednesday. Our power has been out due to a windstorm since 3:45 p.m. yesterday (Sunday) and not projected to be back on till midnight TOMORROW (Tues.). YIKES. I am sending this from my (stressful) job and can’t get online much here. Please pray my husband and I (or our small pets) don’t get sick after two more nights in the cold house. God bless. Teresa

 

[guanophore]

Thanks to so many of you for the thoughtful responses! I plan to answer you in detail as soon as I can. But it looks like I won’t be able to get online at home till Wednesday. Our power has been out due to a windstorm since 3:45 p.m. yesterday (Sunday) and not projected to be back on till midnight TOMORROW (Tues.). YIKES. I am sending this from my (stressful) job and can’t get online much here. Please pray my husband and I (or our small pets) don’t get sick after two more nights in the cold house. God bless. Teresa

May the light of Christ illuminate your whole being and may the fire of the Holy Spirit warm you and yours.

 

[terilamb]

I’m just curious but why do you like one parish better than the other?

also, if mornings are difficult for you, gerenally, there are evening masses as well or later in the day at least

It was just the feeling I had in the one church versus the other. The one in my town felt like more of a dark auditorium and no one greeted me. The other church that’s further away, though the service was similar, there was more of a friendliness in the atmosphere and a couple of people did greet me. It was more like being “at home”. And actually, these were both Saturday evening masses. I do plan to try both churches on a Sunday morning, since that is when I would usually go. But since the masses for both are either 2 hours earlier or an hour later than my other church (and my husband works on Saturdays), I wanted to start with those services and not make it obvious I was going elsewhere till I was more sure. So I do plan to give the church in my town another chance, but my initial impression was that I liked the church better that’s further away.

 

[terilamb]

Perhaps you are called to influence her life also? Correct some of her misconceptions?

I’ve tried to do that a bit already. It hasn’t done a lot of good. I kind of know where she is coming from since I also used to be VERY anti-Catholic and it’s hard to break through that. She has said stuff like “the Bible says to call no man Father” and “it’s wrong to call Mary the Mother of GOD”, and I tell her why Catholics do those things, but I know it goes in one ear and out the other.

How did you come to decide this? When something does bother you, it is best to find out what the church actually teaches first.

It wasn’t that I decided it, but I just had understood it is FORBIDDEN to miss Mass unless you absolutely could NOT get there and that it is a mortal sin. And I do understand the importance, I really do, but at the same time, would God send me to hell if I was faithful 99% of the time and missed once because I was physically exhausted from my job or…? That just doesn’t compute in my pea brain somehow.

 

[terilamb]

May the light of Christ illuminate your whole being and may the fire of the Holy Spirit warm you and yours.

Thanks, that is so sweet. Our power did come back on. I’m glad, since I admit I like to unwind with my Internet and my tv after work. And it was hard for me to get any sleep last night in the cold house. I guess the power company gave us a worst case scenario…

I do appreciate all the responses. Please pray I get up and get out to Mass the next couple of Sundays and beyond. It’s soooo easy to sleep in on a Sunday morning and veg and unwind from the long work week, but I can’t keep doing that. Teresa

 

[guanophore]

I’ve tried to do that a bit already. It hasn’t done a lot of good. I kind of know where she is coming from since I also used to be VERY anti-Catholic and it’s hard to break through that. She has said stuff like “the Bible says to call no man Father” and “it’s wrong to call Mary the Mother of GOD”, and I tell her why Catholics do those things, but I know it goes in one ear and out the other.

Sometimes the best influence, and the most effective way to address misconceptions is living a holy life - one that demonstrates the fruits of the Spirit. There is no way for us to know how much we are helping others by living an upright life.

It wasn’t that I decided it, but I just had understood it is FORBIDDEN to miss Mass unless you absolutely could NOT get there and that it is a mortal sin. And I do understand the importance, I really do, but at the same time, would God send me to hell if I was faithful 99% of the time and missed once because I was physically exhausted from my job or…? That just doesn’t compute in my pea brain somehow.

What I am asking is, how did you come to this understanding? Since this is not consistent with the Church teaching, you have clearly misunderstood. I am saying that, instead of trying to get your “pea brain” around an idea, wouldn’t it be easier just to get rid of the erroneous idea?

 

[terilamb]

What I am asking is, how did you come to this understanding? Since this is not consistent with the Church teaching, you have clearly misunderstood. I am saying that, instead of trying to get your “pea brain” around an idea, wouldn’t it be easier just to get rid of the erroneous idea?

Just from what I have read and heard so far, that missing Mass IS a mortal sin and is a definite no-no and you have to confess it if you ever miss. And some people here have clarified that if you are really sick or have some unavoidable circumstance, that it is not considered a mortal sin. And I KNOW it is important to God that people go to church and I feel badly that I have missed so many Sundays. It just still feels so legalistic to me and one of the very few roadblocks I still have. But like I said, I need to get off the fence and the best way to do that is to experience it and see if this is truly the direction God is leading me.