Hoping to Climb Off The Fence -- Need Prayers, Input

[guanophore]

Just from what I have read and heard so far, that missing Mass IS a mortal sin and is a definite no-no and you have to confess it if you ever miss. And some people here have clarified that if you are really sick or have some unavoidable circumstance, that it is not considered a mortal sin. And I KNOW it is important to God that people go to church and I feel badly that I have missed so many Sundays. It just still feels so legalistic to me and one of the very few roadblocks I still have. But like I said, I need to get off the fence and the best way to do that is to experience it and see if this is truly the direction God is leading me.

You are missing the point here. You have a misconception, and you are stuck on “feels legalistic” about something that exists only in your mind, and not in the Church.

You are going to have trouble “experiencing” the Church if you replace what actually exists with erroneous ideas.

If you are going to substitute your false conclusions for what the church teaches, you might as well stay on the fence!

 

[terilamb]

You are missing the point here. You have a misconception, and you are stuck on “feels legalistic” about something that exists only in your mind, and not in the Church.

You are going to have trouble “experiencing” the Church if you replace what actually exists with erroneous ideas.

If you are going to substitute your false conclusions for what the church teaches, you might as well stay on the fence!

You’re increasingly more critical each time I try to explain what my clear understanding is on this issue based on what I have read and heard. Since you feel I have misconceptions, erroneous ideas, false conclusions, etc., please tell me why. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I AM interested in Catholicism and knowing what the truth is. It doesn’t help me to be criticized about my understanding of something as important as this without knowing why. Thank you.

 

[guanophore]

You’re increasingly more critical each time I try to explain what my clear understanding is on this issue based on what I have read and heard.

This is true.

Your “clear understanding” is a misunderstanding.

Since you feel I have misconceptions, erroneous ideas, false conclusions, etc., please tell me why. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I AM interested in Catholicism and knowing what the truth is. It doesn’t help me to be criticized about my understanding of something as important as this without knowing why. Thank you.

You have already been given this information, and continue to post your “feeling” that it is “legalistic”.

Reasons such as the necessity to work to support one’s family, child care, personal sickness or the care of the sick, necessary travel etc. would excuse a person on a particular occasions. Those who have continuing reason to be excused should consult their pastor.

The fact is that it is a privilege to be able to attend Mass, and although it is spoken of as an “obligation” our hearts should be full of joy to be present with Christ. If you were living in Palestine, would you not delight to go out and sit on the hillside to hear His words? Of course you would be heartbroken if you were sick and could not go out…

We are not under law, but under grace.

 

[exnihilo]

… And I KNOW it is important to God that people go to church and I feel badly that I have missed so many Sundays. It just still feels so legalistic to me and one of the very few roadblocks I still have. But like I said, I need to get off the fence and the best way to do that is to experience it and see if this is truly the direction God is leading me.

I understand where you are coming from. When I was a Protestant I was the ultimate religious authority. Even as I began to see the truth of Catholicism, and incorporate beliefs and practices, I still was the authority. Having to submit to rules when you really didn’t before is challenging.

I never missed Sunday services as a Protestant unless I was sick or traveling. As I was converting I looked forward to the opportunity to attend Mass, any Mass. But at the same time the idea of a rule that I must attend each Sunday bothered me in some way.

I saw the wisdom of the rule. Really it was a rule before the Church stated it. As Christians our duty to God is to come together and worship as a community every Sunday. But for whatever reasons I didn’t like the idea of an explicit rule. It could have been from my fallen nature, temptation from demons or just from pride. Whatever the cause I understand the difficulty and hope you can work through it.

You have already been given this information, and continue to post your “feeling” that it is “legalistic”.

The fact is that it is a privilege to be able to attend Mass, and although it is spoken of as an “obligation” our hearts should be full of joy to be present with Christ. If you were living in Palestine, would you not delight to go out and sit on the hillside to hear His words? Of course you would be heartbroken if you were sick and could not go out…

We are not under law, but under grace.

I think she already gets it and you are pressing the point too hard. Sometimes when people use the word feel they mean think. Sometimes they are referring to a hunch, which isn’t always wrong. For instance God Bless people who have a feeling that some modern sophistry, like ‘love is love’, is not quite right. Sometimes we are being attacked by demons. And often time prayer rather than argument is the best tool.

 

[guanophore]

It could have been from my fallen nature, temptation from demons or just from pride.

I think there arefar more cradle Catholics who struggle with this than converts. It reminds me of Rom. ch. 7. IT is as if we are blissfully ignorant, then the rule itself seems to create rebellion in us.

"Once I was alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life "Rom. 7:9

I had the same experience as you, opposite. When I left the CC I felt so free sojouring among my Protestant brethren, who had no “canon law”. I was eager to go to Church as many as 4 times a week, and the Catholic rules bothered me.

I have a different view now, and realize that no human institution, especially one in existence over 2000 years, can function without rules. The Church knows it is human to say “what if”, so she responds "if…then).

I think she already gets it and you are pressing the point too hard.

Perhaps you are right. I may be oversensitive for the Church being criticized for things she does not teach. I will do my best to make amends.

 

[terilamb]

I think she already gets it and you are pressing the point too hard. Sometimes when people use the word feel they mean think. Sometimes they are referring to a hunch, which isn’t always wrong. For instance God Bless people who have a feeling that some modern sophistry, like ‘love is love’, is not quite right. Sometimes we are being attacked by demons. And often time prayer rather than argument is the best tool.

Thanks, exnihilo, I really appreciate it. This thread went off on a tangent I wasn’t quite expecting and I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful or ignorant of the rule about attending Mass. I do understand why it exists and I feel Protestant churches are too far in the other direction, i.e., while it is nice to attend each week, it’s not a sin if you don’t. I’m at sort of a crossroads at this time and just trying to do what God wants me to, and appreciate everyone’s understanding as I work on sorting all this out.

 

[guanophore]

Thanks, exnihilo, I really appreciate it. This thread went off on a tangent I wasn’t quite expecting and I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful or ignorant of the rule about attending Mass. I do understand why it exists and I feel Protestant churches are too far in the other direction, i.e., while it is nice to attend each week, it’s not a sin if you don’t. I’m at sort of a crossroads at this time and just trying to do what God wants me to, and appreciate everyone’s understanding as I work on sorting all this out.

I didn’t mean to discourage you, as it is a difficult journey no matter what. I don’t want you to guilt yourself over non-issues.

I have never read anything disrespectful in your posts, about Mass or anything else.

It was just the feeling I had in the one church versus the other. The one in my town felt like more of a dark auditorium and no one greeted me. The other church that’s further away, though the service was similar, there was more of a friendliness in the atmosphere and a couple of people did greet me. It was more like being “at home”. And actually, these were both Saturday evening masses. I do plan to try both churches on a Sunday morning, since that is when I would usually go. But since the masses for both are either 2 hours earlier or an hour later than my other church (and my husband works on Saturdays), I wanted to start with those services and not make it obvious I was going elsewhere till I was more sure. So I do plan to give the church in my town another chance, but my initial impression was that I liked the church better that’s further away.

One very big difference I noticed in Protestant communities is that they tend to be much friendlier and more hospitable. I can go to Mass and no one will look me in the eye or greet me (except during those parts of the Mass where it is built in). My own parish has no lobby or gathering place, so you have to stand outside in the parking lot to visit.

I also miss the “entertainment” I found in Protestant prayer meetings and services.
The singing is usually better, participation more enthusiastic and I felt more like I was part of a community rather than a group of individuals.

I had to get to the point where I could appreciate that Mass is not about feeling wanted or entertained, but to bring me to the foot of the cross.

 

[exnihilo]

I also miss the “entertainment” I found in Protestant prayer meetings and services.
The singing is usually better, participation more enthusiastic and I felt more like I was part of a community rather than a group of individuals.

I had to get to the point where I could appreciate that Mass is not about feeling wanted or entertained, but to bring me to the foot of the cross.

I think you’d agree with this but enthusiasm can appear differently. The enthusiasm of some Protestant spirituality can be much more outward. This would appear quite different from a more contemplative spirituality. For instance one could be very enthusiastic about praying the Rosary and in particular the meditation on the mysteries. In being enthusiastic about this one may not display outwardly the marks of enthusiasm we typically assume.

I think particularly in more evangelical circles a certain outward enthusiasm is assumed to be necessary to demonstrate a vibrant faith. I personally never had this kind of enthusiasm and the at least perceived expectation of it made me uncomfortable. I loved the Mass from the first time I attended one and found quiet and meditation.

 

[terilamb]

One very big difference I noticed in Protestant communities is that they tend to be much friendlier and more hospitable. I can go to Mass and no one will look me in the eye or greet me (except during those parts of the Mass where it is built in). My own parish has no lobby or gathering place, so you have to stand outside in the parking lot to visit.

I’ve heard that many times from Catholics on the EWTN radio programs, that it is not as easy to have fellowship with others at Catholic churches. That’s not something that would stop me from going back – though it would be helpful to have in-person fellowship with others. I’m a person who keeps to myself and does not naturally reach out to others, so I don’t want a gregarious atmosphere with people surrounding me, but to be greeted nicely and have someone show interest in me would be nice.

I also miss the “entertainment” I found in Protestant prayer meetings and services. The singing is usually better, participation more enthusiastic and I felt more like I was part of a community rather than a group of individuals.

I had to get to the point where I could appreciate that Mass is not about feeling wanted or entertained, but to bring me to the foot of the cross.

That’s why I left the non-denominational church I attended for a couple years, in-between attending the Lutheran church. It was a loving atmosphere and I made what I thought were a couple of close friends (though when I left that church, I didn’t hear from them any more). But they had a “praise band” instead of a choir, and it was just TOO loud and contemporary for me. I vastly prefer the dignity and reverence of a liturgical service, which was what got me started attending the Lutheran church.

 

[exnihilo]

I’ve heard that many times from Catholics on the EWTN radio programs, that it is not as easy to have fellowship with others at Catholic churches. That’s not something that would stop me from going back – though it would be helpful to have in-person fellowship with others. I’m a person who keeps to myself and does not naturally reach out to others, so I don’t want a gregarious atmosphere with people surrounding me, but to be greeted nicely and have someone show interest in me would be nice.

Regarding ease of fellowship it may indeed be more difficult at the typical Catholic Church. But there are many factors. My parish has six weekend masses. There are a lot of parishioners. It can be harder to have fellowship with larger groups especially when the group is really several groups. Each mass is in a way a mini church. But I’ve also gone to a very small parish frequently and it was very easy to have fellowship with those parishioners.

Sometime a person might go to Mass, or even just want to go pray in a church, when they don’t feel like being social. Sometimes people are suffering in some way and just want to encounter God. The quiet reverence of a Catholic Church can be a great blessing in such times.

As a Catholic you can, and should, attend Mass when on vacation. In my short life as a Catholic I’ve attended many Masses in different places. Sometimes the priest after Mass will ask visitors to identify themselves to welcome them. I’ll admit I never do. I am a very private person and just don’t like that. I don’t mind a person greeting me but I don’t like the group welcome. Some people do like the group welcome and think it is a great way to make people feel welcome. As with anything you can’t please everyone.

 

[Jennifer132]

OP, I asked the same question about missing Mass a few months ago on another forum, so I know exactly what you are talking about. I have five little kids and though some Sunday’s I’m perfectly capable of going to church, I don’t feel like it, and in the Protestant faith, you can go ahead and take that day off with no repercussions.

Perhaps it may help you to focus moreso on what the Catholic Church brings to the table vs. what rules it requires. What I mean is, initially I was nervous about having a Mass obligation, fasting obligations, contraceptive rules, etc. But the more I studied the teachings of the church, the less important those issues became. Which would I rather? A church that doesn’t mind if I miss a few Sunday’s here and there, but which doesn’t present me with the whole Truth, or a church that yes, has rules and obligations, but has the whole Truth and a 2000 year history linking itself back to Christ himself?

Hope that helps some. And welcome to the forums and to the faith!!

 

[PJM]

OP, I asked the same question about missing Mass a few months ago on another forum, so I know exactly what you are talking about. I have five little kids and though some Sunday’s I’m perfectly capable of going to church, I don’t feel like it, and in the Protestant faith,** you can go ahead and take that day off with no repercussions.**

Actually NOT

The sin comes VERY close to being the same. It’s a violation of the 3td Commandment: KEEP HOLY MY Sabbath day

This is GOD’s Commandment, not the property of the RCC

EXCELLENT post! Thank you,
PJM

 

[guanophore]

Take that Sunday off with no repurcussions…

The sin comes VERY close to being the same. It’s a violation of the 3td Commandment: KEEP HOLY MY Sabbath day

This is GOD’s Commandment, not the property of the RCC

There are some Protestant communities that very much consider missing the assembly as a sin. I sojourned amoung some of my Baptist brethren for a time
and if you missed Sunday and Bible Study on Wednesday, you were “backsliding”.

“… let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25**not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, **but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near. 26For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins” (Heb. 10:25).

It is interesting that this instruction is sandwiched between “doing good deeds” and “go on sinnning” as if it were connected to both.

 

[terilamb]

There are some Protestant communities that very much consider missing the assembly as a sin. I sojourned amoung some of my Baptist brethren for a time
and if you missed Sunday and Bible Study on Wednesday, you were “backsliding”.

I don’t doubt that there are denominations like that. But I have pretty much always experienced the opposite – and I have been to all kinds of churches: Baptist, Nazarene, Evangelical Free, non-denominational, Methodist, Presbyterian and Lutheran. At every church I attended long enough for people to get to know who I was – once I decided that church wasn’t where I belonged and was away for several weeks – either I never heard from anyone, or the pastor and/or one or two people would call or E-mail and say, hey, haven’t seen you, we’ve missed you. And then I never heard again. No one accused me (or anyone else who stopped attending) of sinning or backsliding – at least not as far as I know. So I did agree with Jennifer’s comment about that.

Also – my anti-Catholic friend I referred to at the start of this string has attended the same church in her town for quite some time and is experiencing this also. She has been sporadic in going to church, not because she doesn’t want to (she is a devout Christian and loves the Lord), but she is the sole caregiver for her mom (who is turning 90 next week) and her little dog, both of whom have very serious health issues, as well as having health issues herself. People at her church know she is going through this and yet no one calls to see how she and her mom and dog are doing, and she has submitted requests to the church’s prayer chain and doesn’t hear back. Unfortunately, it makes it easier to be complacent when your fellow believers basically ignore you when they don’t see you for awhile.

 

[PJM]

Take that Sunday off with no repurcussions…

There are some Protestant communities that very much consider missing the assembly as a sin. I sojourned amoung some of my Baptist brethren for a time
and if you missed Sunday and Bible Study on Wednesday, you were “backsliding”.

“… let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25**not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, **but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near. 26For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins” (Heb. 10:25).

It is interesting that this instruction is sandwiched between “doing good deeds” and “go on sinnning” as if it were connected to both.

THAT is VERY good news!

Blessings,
PJM