Horrible anxiety with thoughts about becoming a priest

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Hello all,

I’m 24 and for the last six years or so, the thought of being a priest pops into my mind and many times I am overcome with this horrible anxiety. It can get pretty bad sometimes. I’ve never wanted to become a priest, but I have always considered that priesthood is the ultimate vocation in life, so why shouldn’t everyone become a priest. I feel that I would be letting God down in some way. I know this sounds kind of absurd, but it is what I think. It got so bad sometimes that anytime I would see a priest on TV, the anxiety would come back, and it almost made me stop praying because I thought that would lead me to the priesthood.

These thoughts have gotten more frequent over the last few months. I went to confession and told the priest my situation and he told me that if God wanted me to become a priest He would give me peace about the decision.

I was fortunate enough to attend mass 5 or 6 days a week for the last 5 or 6 months(can’t anymore because of my school schedule). I always ask God the strength to do his will and to give me some signs along the way. I have just started dating for the first time in my life, my gf and I have been together for about 5 months now. I am also about to graduate in the winter, and a business that I have been working on for the last three years is starting to look sustainable. I am also helping my elderly dad take care of my younger brother with Downs. So it is not like I am doing nothing in my life.

I guess I want this obvious sign from God telling me one way or the other. But when I look at my relationships, business and schooling I think those might be some obvious signs…

I don’t know, excuse my rambling, but I just wish the anxiety would go away. Usually when I talk to someone or go to confession, the anxiety lessons…

Any suggestions would be great.
 
anyone who experiences great anxiety in prayer should be under spiritual direction, even more so if you are discerning a vocation. Start with your diocesan vocations director who will assign a director for you if you don’t have one.
 
puzzleannie said:
anyone who experiences great anxiety in prayer should be under spiritual direction, even more so if you are discerning a vocation. Start with your diocesan vocations director who will assign a director for you if you don’t have one.
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I totally agree.

Brenda V.
 
You are in my prayers.

But it seems you need more personal care than we can give.

God Bless.
 
Thank you all for the prayers.

I will be setting up a meeting with my dad’s spiritual advisor this week. He says he is the most experienced priest he knows and he knows about all of the older ones.

I am looking forward to getting some peace…
 
I will say a prayer for you.

I’m confused, does the thought of becoming a priest cause anxiety, or the thought of NOT becoming a priest.

God Bless
 
I know what you are feeling. I too have thought about becoming a priest many times in my life. I too have a wonderful life professionally, personally, and spiritually. Yet, sometimes I feel that I can do more as a priest.

I was told by my pastor to wait for a sign, to pray a lot, and try to get a better look at yourself (if you could handle the pressures and temptations). The best advice he gave me was something to the point; not all priests are called to be ordained, you can live your life ministering to the people like priest if that is GOD’s will for you.

So I wait for a sign, I’ve became even more active in ministries, and continue to date. I don’t presume to know what god’s plans are for me, all I know is I’ve followed the signs to where I am right now, and have left the rest to GOD. That has given me peace and happiness.

I will pray for your vocation.

God’s humble servant
John A.H.
 
The thought of becoming a priest causes the anxiety. I don’t know, I have had this belief that I will never be happy, and once good things start happening, like my business growing(the business follows the social encyclicals almost to a tee)and getting a gf, etc, i feel that God wants me to do something that I would loath to do, like become a priest.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I am bipolar as well… :banghead:
 
John_AH said:
I know what you are feeling. I too have thought about becoming a priest many times in my life. I too have a wonderful life professionally, personally, and spiritually. Yet, sometimes I feel that I can do more as a priest.

I was told by my pastor to wait for a sign, to pray a lot, and try to get a better look at yourself (if you could handle the pressures and temptations). The best advice he gave me was something to the point; not all priests are called to be ordained, you can live your life ministering to the people like priest if that is GOD’s will for you.

So I wait for a sign, I’ve became even more active in ministries, and continue to date. I don’t presume to know what god’s plans are for me, all I know is I’ve followed the signs to where I am right now, and have left the rest to GOD. That has given me peace and happiness.

I will pray for your vocation.

God’s humble servant
John A.H.
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Yeah, that is pretty much what my dad has told me. He was actually in the seminary before marriage. I’m pretty sure that is what the priest is going to tell me as well. Just take things day-by-day, and God will show me the way…

All I want to do with my business is give people meaningful jobs while paying them living wages…
 
I have similar feelings when there is a mention on priesthood in discussions, homilies, media etc. let alone talking to Jesus in prayer.As if He wanted me to follow Him, but I don´t want NOW…
The most important thing to do is listen to HIm and have courage. And trust Him…
I will take a prayer for you, stogs.
Peter
 
Wow, I just got done praying about this. I certainly share your anxiety. The only thing I want to do more than become a loving father and husband is the will of God. If that means becoming a priest, and He makes that path straight, I will zealously receive that tremendous grace with heartfelt thanksgiving!

At this point in my life, I believe I am called to place myself in a position to receive understanding. (You are doing the right thing by seeing a spiritual adviser.) In the coming months, I will be preparing for a two-year adventure with the Capuchin Franciscans in Papua New Guinea. There I will experience a radically different culture, while living with religious brothers. During that time, I will surely receive many graces. Hopefully I will then have a clear sense of where He’s leading me. If I don’t have peace (or even a strong desire) about the priesthood and/or religious life, I will follow my desires (assuming I have peace about them).

The only advice I have for you is to place yourself in a position to receive grace, and to not let this go until you have satisfaction. I’m sure this is a very painful process for many people to go through. You are not alone! If you cannot make the decision with solid faith and a sense of assurance, it’s unlikely you will become a holy priest. It’s also unlikely He’s leading you in that direction. Also, because we live in the culture of cell phones and micowave ovens (not to mention a hundred thousand other things) we desire to have instant results. My friend, give yourself permission to relax. Take it one day at a time, realizing that you do not have to make this choice immediately.

We love you and are encouraged that you are taking this issue seriously.

May our gracious Father grant you His light! Come Holy Spirit, come! May His will be done.
 
I saw the priest today, and I couldn’t have talked to a kinder person. He basically said that God is probably not calling me to become a priest. He was really encouraged by what I was doing with my business. He said just continue to love people, and treat everyone with respect, and that is what my business hopes to accomplish. Just for the business to be where it is today is a miracle in itself. He didn’t see any good reason why I should stop now.

It was just really great talking to someone about everything in my life, my business, school and my relationship with my girlfriend and her family, none of which who are Catholic…

He said continue to gain a deeper love for the Eucharist and continue to be open to Jesus. I could real feel the Holy Spirit working during our talk. It was awesome 😃 😃

I also have to reming myself, that everyone is called to holiness, not just priests and religious…

Thank you all for your prayers…
 
Kinda bittersweet.

I hope to enter into the seminary and let me tell you this, when I think of becoming a priest I feel joy, happiness, and more at peace than any other time. And from talking to other priests, seminarians, etc…that is how you are suppose to feel.

I think the priest you talked to gave you some great advice and I wish you the best. I will pray for you.

Peace
 
Just a thought. Most dioceses have a vocation director. Perhaps within your diocese there is a discernment retreat that you could attend to help you decide if you have a real calling. Believe me if you have the calling it does not go away, it persists until you finally answer it. Who knows maybe your calling is to the diaconate rather than the priesthood. However, with the diaconate, there is an age restriction. Most men cannot be ordained unless they are 35 yrs. old. Either way, you can always go to a discernment retreat for that vocation too.

With all change or major decisions, most people experience anxiety…but once you make the decision and it is the right one, you feel great peace.

Consider contacting a vocations director and make that retreat. With all decisions, pray for guidance. Also get yourself a spiritual director as well. It really makes a world of difference. God bless you!
 
stogs,

I suggest that you read Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross.

On the flip side, the anxiety, as some have mentioned, probably should be something that should be discussed with a priest, which you have done, and perhaps a psychologist or counselor. Psychologist has a bad conotation…I’m not suggesting you are crazy at all! 😛

Can you describe the anxiety? Perhaps I could relate.
 
I trust my diocese about as far as I could throw a suitcase of anvils upwind in a hurricane, but that is for another post…

I may ask the priest I just saw to be spiritual advisor, I’m not sure. I do feel great peace and passion about what I am doing now, and I feel I can use my unique gifts to help many people. The thoughts of becoming a priest were thoughts of feeling guilty because I’m not a priest, not thoughts about wanting to become a priest, and from everyone I’ve talked to, God usually doesn’t work that way; He doesn’t play those types of games.

I have considered seeking a psychologist. I do have bouts with depression ever so often…

As far as the anxiety, it is a very physical thing. I just want to take it and rip it out of chest or cough it up or something. I want to go roll up in the corner or not get out of bed. It is kind of paralyzing. It almost always worse when I haven’t gotten too much sleep the night before. I suffer scrupulosity sometimes, and almost the same anxiety overwhelms me. I have gotten better with that though…
 
stogs said:
Hello all,

I’m 24 and for the last six years or so, the thought of being a priest pops into my mind and many times I am overcome with this horrible anxiety. It can get pretty bad sometimes. I’ve never wanted to become a priest, but I have always considered that priesthood is the ultimate vocation in life, so why shouldn’t everyone become a priest. I feel that I would be letting God down in some way. I know this sounds kind of absurd, but it is what I think. It got so bad sometimes that anytime I would see a priest on TV, the anxiety would come back, and it almost made me stop praying because I thought that would lead me to the priesthood.

These thoughts have gotten more frequent over the last few months. I went to confession and told the priest my situation and he told me that if God wanted me to become a priest He would give me peace about the decision.

I was fortunate enough to attend mass 5 or 6 days a week for the last 5 or 6 months(can’t anymore because of my school schedule). I always ask God the strength to do his will and to give me some signs along the way. I have just started dating for the first time in my life, my gf and I have been together for about 5 months now. I am also about to graduate in the winter, and a business that I have been working on for the last three years is starting to look sustainable. I am also helping my elderly dad take care of my younger brother with Downs. So it is not like I am doing nothing in my life.

I guess I want this obvious sign from God telling me one way or the other. But when I look at my relationships, business and schooling I think those might be some obvious signs…

I don’t know, excuse my rambling, but I just wish the anxiety would go away. Usually when I talk to someone or go to confession, the anxiety lessons…

Any suggestions would be great.
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I can relate totally with what you wrote (though I’m a bit older). I’ve even got to the point of praying for a “road to Damascus” kind of sign now, the kind that hits you upside the head. Nothing yet so far. The only thing I can offer is start exploring that side of things that scares you. If you do nothing then no answers will come to you. Talk to the vocations director in your diocese… just an hour! He will hopefully be able to give you some exercises to determine what God really wants for you. Put all your trust in God and your answers will come!
 
Dear Stogs,

I know exactly what you are talking about. I remember when I first started to feel that I had a vocation to the priesthood, I became quite desperate, and cried and prayed to God that he would not give me this vocation. Later I have begun to discern the vocation, and it is very likely that I will enter seminary in a couple of years. In my opinion what you are feeling is indeed a call, you just have to dare to answer it, and that may be extremely tough in our society, it means e.g giving up having a family, but its things worth giving up. God loves you and would not call you to something that he knows you can’t handle.

God bless
 
Hello Stogs.

Keep in mind that God will never call you to something that you loath, that will fill you with anxiety and make your life a miserable wreck. Keep in mind too though, that whatever vocation God calls you to, there will always be struggles, hardships, and crosses to be carried (along with the multitude of joys and blessings), but the sure sign that you are on the right track is that sense of peace in the midst of it all. The “ultimate vocation” is the one that will allow and enable you to love God, love others, and avoid sin to the best of your ability. That is God’s will (in a nut shell) for all of us.

God’s peace and wisdom be with you.

Fr. Joe
 
stogs -

It would be irresponsible of me to suggest you simply give up your livelyhood to “test the waters” so that is NOT what I am doing…

BUT, remember, if after some direction and discernment, you decided to attend seminary, priestly formation programs are NOT commitments in and of themselves.

I went to seminary for a year and during that time people would ask me “How did you decide to become a priest?” or my peers (I was in my 20s) would ask "“How can you make that commitment?”

I always told them the same thing: “I am in the planning stage of making a commitment. The commitment will be made when I recieve ordination.”

In fact I did not pursue it, and that is common enough. Far more Catholic men attend seminary than every become priests - not because they lose their way, but because, having spent much time in prayer and discernment, another path was for them.

SO, even if you one day SHOULD decide to enter a priestly formation program, remember, that is part of the process of discernment, and the program is not, in and of itself, a commitment.

So get with a good spiritual director, spend time in prayer and attend Mass and confession frequently. If you think that there is a chance - even a slim one - that you DO suffer from bi-polar disorder or depression, PLEASE seek treatment for that first. Seminary (or Holy Orders) won’t make those problems go away - it may only excacerbate them.
 
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