Horrible anxiety with thoughts about becoming a priest

[tkdnick]

I don’t know, I have had this belief that I will never be happy, and once good things start happening, like my business growing(the business follows the social encyclicals almost to a tee)and getting a gf, etc, i feel that God wants me to do something that I would loath to do, like become a priest.

Wow, I just got done praying about this. I certainly share your anxiety. The only thing I want to do more than become a loving father and husband is the will of God. If that means becoming a priest, and He makes that path straight, I will zealously receive that tremendous grace with heartfelt thanksgiving!

Late to the conversation, I know. But…I too am struggling with this my brothers. I just recently got back from a pilgrimage in Rome (AMAZING) and on this trip the two opposites of priesthood and marriage were placed into my life. I felt the priesthood well up in me while at the same time meeting an amazing woman and the desire to explore a relationship with her.

And an interesting side note. The 1 question that seemingly everyone has asked me since coming back is “Did you meet anyone special?”

I got some seemingly good advice from a couple of friends last night. Both basically said to take a step in 1 direction or the other and let God direct and move within. God will ultimately point us in the right direction.

 

[dail3606]

hey. i know you encountered the priesthood thing a while ago. don’t know if its still looming. but i am going through the exact same thing… wouldn’t mind talking to someone who understood first hand what it feels like…

 

[contramundum7]

If you begin the process of seminary formation… my understanding is you can quit at any time… so why the anxiety?
However, I tend to think such anxiety indicates you don’t really want to go that route.

 

[johnnydigit]

hehe welcome to the rollercoaster of life, specifically, one that we call (vocational) discernment.

what you guys say sound all too familiar. there was a time when i would feel the same way about the priesthood. brotherhood i liked, but diocesan priesthood - no way. now i’m really just open to anything - even the one i used to dread. i think this is because i have grown over the past 3 years since i started my discernment - not just spiritually, but i think discernment is a big journey into knowing yourself. in knowing yourself, you learn and accept what you are capable of and hence what God may want you to do.

whether you are called to marriage, single, or religious life, God wants you to carefully discern what He wants for you. this includes frequently using the Sacraments, going to Mass, adoration, keeping active in the church community, etc. i would suggest frequent (daily) adoration, feeding/helping the poor, and getting involved in a church group that appeals to you, i.e. bible study…

as for your anxiety, i would attack it head on and find the precise cause. i personally like blending psychology and spirituality, and off hand i would suggest reading Spiritual Passages by Fr. Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R. it accurately describes the many stages we go through and like mentioned above, cites St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila. i was blown away by so many of the things these great people knew about me.

God bless!

 

[daniel_connolly]

Dear Stogs,
I remember when I first started to feel that I had a vocation to the priesthood, I became quite desperate, and cried and prayed to God that he would not give me this vocation.

That’s pretty interesting. When I was 18 something started tapping me incessantly on the shoulder. I actually got pretty angry and dare I say, pretty pissed off. Then I got into bands and other stupid pursuits and bailed on the Church. Now I’m 38, stepped back into my first Church two years ago and have to face the facts. I’m pretty much ideally suited for the religious life and it’s everything that I enjoy, which is pretty much serving others. Yep, that’s who I am. I don’t know if I will be a priest but to be honest, serving Jesus crucified is the greatest of all treasures. Please pray for me as I begin seriously pursuing a vocation to the religious life.

Virgin of Fatima, pray for us

 

[daniel_connolly]

I guess the thing to remember is that 1) at the end of the day, if God has stamped your soul for the religious life, even though He’ll only invite you, you’ll pretty much be miserable looking for that one job that is supposed to be ‘it’ while never really finding it. And 2) you can’t really run from the Almighty. I mean, you can try all you like but you can’t really avoid the guy, you know?

IF you are supposed to be a religious then the Big Man upstairs has equipped you for the mission. The best thing to do is get yourself to a retreat and see if the Father wants you to serve Him by imitating His Son- through personal sacrifice.

I’m in the same boat but I’m done doing my will. Life is too short. Be yourself and get busy serving others! Please pray for me.

Virgin of Fatima, pray for us

 

[lilnun_77]

I will be praying for you
May God bless you and give you peace about this

 

[peary]

Hello all,

I’m 24 and for the last six years or so, the thought of being a priest pops into my mind and many times I am overcome with this horrible anxiety. It can get pretty bad sometimes. I’ve never wanted to become a priest, but I have always considered that priesthood is the ultimate vocation in life, so why shouldn’t everyone become a priest. I feel that I would be letting God down in some way. I know this sounds kind of absurd, but it is what I think. It got so bad sometimes that anytime I would see a priest on TV, the anxiety would come back, and it almost made me stop praying because I thought that would lead me to the priesthood.

These thoughts have gotten more frequent over the last few months. I went to confession and told the priest my situation and he told me that if God wanted me to become a priest He would give me peace about the decision.

I was fortunate enough to attend mass 5 or 6 days a week for the last 5 or 6 months(can’t anymore because of my school schedule). I always ask God the strength to do his will and to give me some signs along the way. I have just started dating for the first time in my life, my gf and I have been together for about 5 months now. I am also about to graduate in the winter, and a business that I have been working on for the last three years is starting to look sustainable. I am also helping my elderly dad take care of my younger brother with Downs. So it is not like I am doing nothing in my life.

I guess I want this obvious sign from God telling me one way or the other. But when I look at my relationships, business and schooling I think those might be some obvious signs…

I don’t know, excuse my rambling, but I just wish the anxiety would go away. Usually when I talk to someone or go to confession, the anxiety lessons…

Any suggestions would be great.

The priest is correct. A calling from God to the religious life is not met with obsessive anxiety but with peace because it is God who is leading you.

 

[Auntie_A]

The priest is correct. A calling from God to the religious life is not met with obsessive anxiety but with peace because it is God who is leading you.

Months and weeks later, with all due respect to the priest, I am not completely happy with this argument. Decisionmaking, especially about vocations, is not always peaceful for some of us. Maybe we are wired differently, maybe our circumstances have greater consequences, maybe there is some static on our line to God. Not all decisions are clear as a bell.

The last 20-30 years have focussed on how our lives are supposedly dictated by our own personal “Choice” rather than duty, inspiration, example, or something else. Yes, we have always made choices for ourselves, but for the past few years we seem to forget that there is more than the self involved in that process. This puts a lot of pressure on young people, especially the conscientious, making their life decisions. I admire you for opening up on this thread and looking at things from a lot of angles.

Your situation includes a family, a brother with special needs, a dedicated dad, among others. The examples set in your family sound to me to be about a strong and faithful commitment. The lessons you have learned in the secular world and even in the modern Church (unfortunately), have often set lesser or weaker examples of commitment. These circumstances would certainly cause me anxiety: “Am I, with my background and values, going to be able to do the Lord’s work in this setting?” “Will I be able to function in a religious community (or marriage)?” “Will I have the combination of leadership, sacrifice and humility that the priesthood (or marriage) requires?” “Will this particular religious community squash my spirit in a detrimental way?” I added marriage because I know many people who went through great anxiety before marrying as well as taking holy orders.

I will add one more component (and those who have read my other posts can hum quietly in the corner while I repeat myself):
There are two kinds of anxiety:
1.) a situational worry or concern that eventually goes away with life adjustments; and
2.) a disorder that afflicts the most intelligent, imaginative, creative, and sensitive individuals in our society. Perhaps because we are wired differently, we become more deficient in the neurotransmitters that help us think, decide, and feel better.
This neurotransmitter deficiency can bring our reservoir down into depression from time to time, especially if we are traumatized or under continual stress. The anxiety symptoms may include: worry, excessive fears and phobias, low confidence and insecurities, obsessions, compulsions, addictions, eating disorders, body image disorders, body disfigurement (cutting for example), and a high level scrupulosity (not the positive Catholic kind but an excessive type), among other symptoms.

There are medical, nutritional, and cognitive therapies available.

This would be something to discern and confront in yourself with professional help before entering any vocation. With all the recent obnoxious press on Mother Teresa’s mental struggles, it is my opinion that this kind of anxiety might have afflicted her at times. Yet her life, struggles and all, still stands as a shining example.

Simple explanations elude me but I read a good thing about discernment recently. It said that there are three potential sources of the (name removed by moderator)ut of our lives: God, the earth, and the Devil.
Much of the battleground is over earthly matters, and mental health is a much-used arena. Many mental illnesses are claimed to be from the Devil when they are actually a deficiency of some sort that may be corrected (and we pray to God that we find the right road to healing) Other mental illnesses we claim to be from God (the manic side of bi-polar, hallucinations and excessive scrupulosity, for example). The Devil has a field day with our helplessness and ignorance over mental health matters. As Catholics we acknowledge our physical/earthly life and are required to care for ourselves and each other in that regard.

Just a little something to help in the discernment process and hopefully eliminate any unnecessary worry.

Blessings and prayers to you and yours.

 

[byrdele]

I don’t know why I am adding to this when it seems that everything had been said - everything good, that is.

Hi Toggs.

It sounds like you’re leaning toward what your priest told you, that God is probably not calling you to the priesthood. Even though you are going to have minor anxieties to no matter what he calls you (I almost canceled my wedding twice!!!) it will not be to the point which you have described.

Sometimes I think it’s easy to forget that we have a real Enemy out there. And he thrives on chaos - whether it is personal or global. This chaos upsets us, which upsets God and the Enemy likes that. Also, it keeps us from what we really need to be doing.

I don’t think you even have to seek the peace. God’s peace will just come. When it comes time to direct you, and He is already probably doing that (you mentioned dating, a job, etc.), you’ll know.

Besides, as I understand it, priesthood is not the ultimate vocation. There have to be people called to the vocation of marriage. If not, from where are all the baby Catholics going to come?

God’s blessings on you.

 

[Black_Angel]

You can step aside and reflect. Maybe you should. Is a calling to serve God no more then a guess, a feeling, a bolt of lightning, or maybe the cheese you ate the night before?

Either way, I see no problem with stepping back, and either way I wish you Peace!

 

[Chancellor]

There are many excellent Catholic psychologists and therapists around the country who are excellent at dealing with this type of issue. It is important to sort out what may or may not be a vocation from what is triggering high anxiety. If you cannot work this through with the priests that I hope you are seeking spiritual direction from, then you should ask for a referral. What part of the country are you from? Not every priest or every therapist can do this kind of discernment.

The Chancellor

 

[Lily_Valley]

Hi Stogs,

   Just wanted to share a couple of stories with you. First of all I know  a man who began being called to the priesthood in a very powerful way as a young man. He said that every time he turned around, or opened a drawer there was something in front of him to remind him of the priesthood-and he was not impressed. When he opened a drawer one day and saw something else in it about the priesthood he slammed the drawer shut and was very angry.  He had not planned on becoming a priest. He did not want to become a priest. Then one day outside on the farm about to cut down a tree, God spoke very clearly to him, something about the tree related to his own life. He knew at that moment that God was indeed calling him to the priesthood. He was sure of it. And at that point his attitude began to change. He not only became a great priest, but then a bishop,and retired recently as a very well loved and respected "Archbishop". He has now retired as a "prayer warrior" in a monastery somewhere. Truly a beautiful life of helping others and building up the Church. 


      Story number two is about a person who felt some pressure from family to marry.She and her finance were engaged. But every time this person unofficially set a date for the wedding with her finance, she would then almost have anxiety attacks. Finally her finance said, we aren't getting married for other people. Relax and take your time in deciding. There is no rush. When this person finally decided it was in fact time, she walked down the aisle the day of her wedding filled with peace and calm. She had no doubts whatsoever, and knew she had made the right decision. But the decision had to be made freely, without any coercion, and only when she felt she was actually ready-personally.  I think the anxiety came from trying to rush something because the time was not yet right. This couple have been married for 30 years, and they are still going strong.
    Sometimes I think we feel anxiety because we are feeling pulled in a certain direction and "we don't feel ready to face it yet". Take your time my friend. Live your life, have your relationships, and your business ventures. Figure out who you are, and what is most important to you. If God is indeed calling you to the priesthood-He is very patient, and He will allow you all the time you need to make your mind up gradually so that it is a "peaceful" decision. I have heard of priests that were actually engaged to be married,  when they decided to break off the engagement and enter the priesthood. Sometimes God lets us go a long way along a certain path before we realize it is time to make a big detour. That way we don't ever have to live with regrets. We have both options before us, and we can "freely" choose one over the other. It is our decision. God always respects our free will, but He also knows where we can do the greatest amount of good. All the best.